On Book Crisis, Bold Convictions and Boss Chicks

I’ve been sharing that this is my year of being committed to my mental health and creating space for new things in my life. One habit that I started in January that has been a game changer for me is putting my phone away an hour before I go to bed and reading books instead of doom scrolling on my phone. 🛏️📵

Reading is one of my favorite hobbies, and I can’t believe how long it’s been since I made time to read on a regular basis. So I’m so glad to be back to it. 📖

Sometimes, it’s a little tweak to your routine that can make a big difference in other areas of your life. 

But this new routine and me getting the chance to read through my emotional support stack of books on my nightstand has created a new issue…

RANT

The lack of funny books in publishing – especially from writers of color – is not okay.

My spirit is vexed. On Friday night, I was minding my business and avoiding humans, taking myself over to my bookshelf because I wanted to pick out a book that was gonna make me laugh. 

And I couldn’t find one. 📚

Correction – I couldn’t find one that wasn’t written by Samantha Irby or me. And that bugged me. It’s been a longstanding problem for me, because I have a bookshelf that’s decolonized. It’s super diverse. The shelves are filled with writers of all colors and backgrounds who are not typically on people’s bookshelves. And as a four time New York Times bestselling author, I have new books sent my way constantly. 

Soooo the lack of books that are light, humorous, hilarious, really frustrates me. Publishing is really comfortable giving us deals to talk about trauma and the burden of Blackness and to talk about our childhood that were hard. Where are the books to talk about our joy? Our expertise? 🤔💭

When I wrote my first book I’m Judging You, half the reason was because I wanted to write a book that would make people laugh and make them think but like, not take themselves too seriously. 

Here’s the thing, our traumas, our stories, our struggles are so valid, and I want us to write more stories about those. But there’s also room for our joy. Especially because we are FUNNY AF as a people and a collective. 🤝🏾

This is the reason why I created The Book Academy. And to take it further, I have a BIGGER DREAM that I’m telling you because you know I like to dream out loud. I want my own publishing imprint one day, so I can be a vehicle and conduit to see these types of books published. The ones that speak of triumph, joy, shenanigans. The ones that allow people to escape from their world, dropped into an adventure. I’m working on this and surrendering it to God to open the paths to make this happen. 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾

I am on a mission to help more people become successful published authors, while amplifying more voices who will help us laugh and think, not just think and weep.

I’m working on it. Soon.

REFLECTION

We need to trust our instincts, not give into our fears.

I’ve been thinking about all the ways we stop ourselves from taking action on what we feel compelled to move on. What keeps us stuck? What makes it hard to do the thing that feels hard or SAY the thing that might be tough? 

What I think happened is that we’ve lost the compass to our intuition under layers of fear and doubt and anxiety that life has lifed into us. We say NO to YES things that feel too big. We say YES to NO things that feel forced on us. And then we find ourselves not trusting us or anybody else in the process because we’ve been in too many situations we end up regretting. 😩

The thing is: FEAR is healthy and natural. And its job is to keep us safe and alive. However, we aren’t supposed to make our decisions based on fear as the main trigger. It should not take the wheel and override our intuition. And what happens is that our traumas and our fears make decisions for us way too often. 

We mistake that heavy feeling we get sometimes when something feels out of our comfort zone for our gut because it might feel visceral. And then we move on it. 💪🏾I once asked my late therapist what the difference was between my anxiety and my instinct. And her answer has stayed with me since. She said “Your anxieties will make you feel heavy. Your instincts feel like clarity.”

It was such A WORD. Our instincts are quiet and our fears are loud. Because the fear is louder, we pay more attention to it. Similarly, I’ve been told that God’s voice is quiet. 🤫

Our world is loud and we have 1,000 ways to distract ourselves from hearing ourselves, our gut and our God. I think it’s important for all of us to work on getting more still, so we can tell the difference between what we know to be true, and what is only true because we’re afraid. That is worthwhile work because our confidence can depend on it. 

Speaking of confidence and something I can trust…

RECOMMENDATION

Get my favorite lip color that gives BAWSE vibes! 

If you know me, you know I’m always going to be rocking a red lip. It’s a huge part of my ritual as I get ready to take the stage for a keynote, or any moment where courage is needed. In fact, I throw on a red lip while I have nothing on my face and trick people into thinking I made an effort. It’s a real cheat code. My FAVORITE red lip is from The Lip Bar and it’s called Bawse Lady. 💄

All of the colors from The Lip Bar are amazing, but Bawse Lady is the best red lipstick I’ve ever found because it looks good on EVERYONE (even people who are like “I can never find a red lip that works for me”).

And it stays on my lips ALL DAY. Sometimes, I go to bed and wake up with traces of it still there. The staying power is A1! 💋

The CEO of The Lip Bar is the brilliant Melissa Butler, and the brand just celebrated its 12 year anniversary. You can buy The Lip Bar not only directly from their website, but at Target and Walmart too.

I STAN all their lippies. Another 2 fave colors they have: Rich Auntie (a deep pink, almost red) and Prima Donna (purple). ❤️💜

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Grab Bawse Lady and a couple other colors and get yourself some instant confidence. And don’t forget to use the code LUVVIE10 for 10% off your total!

Before you go, I’d love to hear from you – what is a book you’ve read that made you laugh? Comment below and lemme know. 

Talk Soon,

Disclaimer: I receive commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this newsletter. All thoughts and vouching are mine. I keep it true.