Dear White House Sinkhole, You Good?
Last week, we learned there is a sinkhole forming on the lawn of the White House. I’m just here to inquire about its wellbeing. Dear Sinkhole, Hey big head. So sorry I didn’t come and visit but I’m allergic to places where fascism gets written into law. But listen, now …
Dear Maria Sharapova, You Should Release a Song Called Mad and Mediocre
Maria Sharapova is releasing a memoir titled Unstoppable and excerpts of the book came out. She fixes her mouth (and hands) to talk about Serena Williams in the book, and I just need to write her a letter because Maria got life all the way wrong, so she’s earned this …
Dear Bethune-Cookman 2017 Grads, Thank You For Telling Betsy Devos “Nah”
Everything is stupid and nothing makes sense. Betsy Devos was the commencement speaker at Bethune-Cookman University today. Bethune-Cookman, a Historically-Black College/University, chose the Education Secretary none of us wanted, Betsy “What are public schools?” DeVos, to send their graduates off. In return, the students met her with boos, jeers and backs …
Dear Pepsi, That Ad was a Gold in the Fail Olympics
I gotta say that sometimes, I’m impressed by how people fail so spectacularly. Pepsi is the latest inductee into the FAIL Hall of Fame. I don’t think we’ve fully forgiven them since they set Michael Jackson’s hair on fire back in 1984. We just knew they didn’t curl allaway over. …
Dear President Barack Obama, So This Love is Just Over?
Because we’re having a rough time with the end of this relationship. I just wanna write him a letter, because he is not. Ain’t nothing worse being the only miserable party, cuz the way my petty is setup, I want us to wallow together. BUT NO. Barack outchea flourishing. Dear …
Dear Joel Osteen, Is Being a Sellout Shepherd Your Ministry?
It’s been a long while since I’ve written a sternly-worded letter. Clearly, I am overdue. I have been spurred to write one because of an interview that popular pastor, Joel Osteen, gave on the radio in October 2015 (5 months ago), where he basically placed a stamp of approval on Donald Trump, …
Dear Stacey Dash, Who Knew Clueless Was a Biopic?
I have chilled on writing ex-actress and current Faux News mouthpiece Stacey Dash a sternly-worded letter for years, as I verbally chin-checked Raven-Symone. So this is overdue. Besides, so many of y’all asked me to that I was afraid that if I didn’t, you might pitch a tent on my eLawn …
The Top 10 Awesomely Luvvie Posts of 2015
It’s the last day of 2015, and I’m doing a look back at the year. I’ve already done my 2015 highlights chronicling my epic year and I could not let it pass without posting my top 10 pieces. I have a lot of fun writing here because I am able to …
Dear Serena Williams, So You’re Just Gonna Be This Flawless Effortlessly? Ok.
Serena. I SAY, SERENA. GIRL STAHP. Why did you just do this to all of us? Your New York Magazine cover and editorial is the reason people write songs and poems and whatnots. I wanna pen some haikus and limericks in your honor because GAHTDAMB. I bet Common used one …
Dear Nellie Andreeva and Deadline, About Your Piece on Too Much “Ethnic Casting” on TV
Yesterday, Deadline’s TV editor Nellie Andreeva posted a piece titled “Pilots 2015: The Year Of Ethnic Castings – About Time Or Too Much Of Good Thing?” This headline wasn’t click-bait because it captured exactly what the writer was trying to say: that TV is getting too Black and maybe it should …