Are Aliens Real? I Believe So and Here’s Why

I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but do I believe in aliens? I do. Lemme tell you why.

There is no way that human beings were God’s best work. The God that I serve, the great God that I serve…. the Alpha and the Omega. The King of Kings. The Lord of Lords. That omnipotent being. That all-knowing being ain’t just create us and said “Alright. That’s my magnus opus. My best work.” I refuse to believe that Earth’s breathing specimens that walk on two legs and have opposable thumbs are the best that the Almighty had. Like, us, in all our trashy glory.

Take Trash out

We, the ones of endless wars, constant chaos, killing our planet, and overall grade A level debauchery and tomfoolery.

The ones who learn zero lessons, and are ignoring decades of movies that tell us when robots get smarter than us, we’re all in deep trouble.

The ones who do not understand that we only have ONE home (Earth) so we should probably take good care of it otherwise ALL OF US are gonna be toast (and instead we’re trying to find ways to colonize other planets once we kill this one when we don’t even have the RANGE).

The ones who put any intelligence we do have into finding quicker ways to kill each other.

We are so raggedy in so many ways. Us. Best and only in the universe? It’s almost laughable, because human beings are giving “we’re the rough drafts.” Like, sometimes God just be making anybody. Exhibit A, ii AND 3a:

Donald Trump baby hands

Proof of how God just be making anybody.

The ones who let this walking cheeto RUN AN ENTIRE COUNTRY. Ain’t no way we the smartest beings.

I feel like on that Sabbath, after God had done all the waters and trees and birds, They were like “Lemme try one more thing” and then distractingly made humans. I feel like later on, like 2 weeks later, after Adam and Eve defied God in the Garden of Eden, God was like “uh uh. I need to upgrade these already because NOPE.” And then created some species for another planet with sense and sensibilities and ethics and morals.

Even then, Noah’s flood was supposed to be our do-over to get our stuff together. But here we are, still in utter shambles.

So yeah, when you ask me whether I believe in aliens, I’m gonna tell you “yes.” Simply because human beings are proving to be really raggedy and trifling. And how does it make sense that we are the only sentient and smart beings in this entire universe and in all the galaxies and whatnot? Humans are the most ADVANCED beings in all of existence? Nah. That doesn’t even make sense.

And then we have the nerve to debate whether there are smarter beings in this whole space. Chile, the aliens are using us as sitcoms as we speak. We are their soap operas and they’re CACKLING at us relentlessly and calling us degenerates. We are their Tiger King.

aliens laughing loudly

And telling their kids “We don’t go past there. That place is trash.” It’s our audacity and hubris that really lets me know WE ARE THE iPHONE 1 OF THE UNIVERSE! Other places on iPhone 24 MAX and we’re the beta version of creation.

I was saying this before the US government did their Congressional Hearing basically admitting to the existence of extraterrestrials. We shoulda been known because we’re the Atari of the Galaxy. Science ain’t have to tell me that we’re not the sharpest tools in the box.


Let’s face it: the prospect of humans being the most sophisticated beings in all of existence is unlikely. When we still do things like the “tide pod challenge” where folks eat laundry detergent on purpose.

Bless it.

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1 Comment

    November 9, 2023 at 2:47 pm

    After my initial, “DAMN, Luvvie!” all I can add is ….

    “WELLLLLLLLLLLL! I second that!”

    My confused look is now my normal expression, because after all the years of foolishness, THIS is the look we’re going for? I don’t get it, either!