On Foolish Forms, Finding Fellowship and Feminine Florals

Happy Leap Year Day! Just like that, February is about to be out. That went quick AF and the fact that we’re 2 months into this year is blowing my mind. TIME is acting like it stole something so it’s hauling ass. 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

Speaking of TIME, last week, I was at the TIME Magazine Closers event, and being in that room with those luminaries was A TIME. Sorry. I’m not allowed to say “time” again in this newsletter issue 😅😅😅. 

I am endlessly grateful to be thought about to be in spaces like that. 

On this leap year day, let’s all take a deep breath and opportunity to revel in an extra day of the year and recommit to simplicity and streamlining things.

Which brings me to…

RANT

Changing your name after marriage is a maze of a task. 

One of my friends recently got married and asked the Group Chat what would be the most convenient way to legally change her name and we all agreed that there isn’t one. You will be buried under fifty-eleven forms that all require different things. And it will be frustrating and raggedy. We sent our condolences as we were triggered ourselves.

It is ABSURD how inconvenient and unsimple it is to change your name. It’s lowkey maddening even. You gotta change it on the social security level first and then do passport, bank accounts, memberships, airlines, hotels… UTILITIES. ALL. DIFFERENT. PROCESSES. AND. FORMS. 👎🏾😤

Basically, you have to commit to spending hours of time on this and it is easy to quit. Cuz wtf.

In this age of advanced technology and digital wizardry, why are we still drowning in a sea of paperwork? 😩😩😩

Why can’t we streamline this madness into one comprehensive form that magically updates everything at once? 

It’s a never-ending saga of paperwork hell. And sure, there are platforms out there that claim to simplify the process, but let’s be real: they still leave us doing the leg work of sending forms to every damn institution ourselves. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So, my question is this: why can’t we just have ONE form so it changes our stuff across social security, travel, financial accounts and everything else? Why hasn’t someone stepped up to innovate this mess? We live in an era where technology has revolutionized nearly every aspect of our lives, yet we’re still stuck in the dark ages when it comes to something as basic as updating our names. It’s time for a change, people. Use technology to make that process easier! 🖥️✅

So, here’s my plea to the brilliant minds out there: innovate this antiquated system and give us a solution that actually makes sense. Who’s with me? 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️

REFLECTION

Your inability to ask for help is leaving you behind in unquantifiable ways.

We live in a culture that celebrates the self-made success story. But we romanticize this notion to the point of self-destruction, and it’s not ok. Because most people who are SELF-MADE are actually COMMUNITY made. They did not do it completely alone. 

We weren’t meant to do any of this alone. Life, work, whatever. We were not meant to do it by ourselves. We were not meant to sit in silos trying to problem solve, figure out everything, raise kids, find jobs, sustain businesses, be healthy and whole. NONE of it should be about the individual. Empires of ONE do not exist. 

Doing everything by yourself, without asking for insight from people you trust, recommendations from mentors or help from your partner is wearing you OUT and will continue to do so. 🤲🏽

Capitalism, racism, patriarchy, nationalism, Western culture foolishness, greed has convinced us, beaten us up and lied to us. It’s told us that if we can’t figure it all out by ourselves, we are not smart, not wise, and not capable. And our worthiness has been tied into all of it. Nobody is handing out medals for doing it all alone. Trust me, I’ve checked. 🙅🏾‍♀️🎖️

Meanwhile, the truth of it all is that life was designed to be a collective experience. We win together, lose together, grieve together, build together. I hoped that the once in a lifetime pandemic we all went through would embed that in our systems, never to be forgotten. And we’ve already forgotten.

There is strength in vulnerability, in admitting when we need assistance. Are you truly thriving, or are you merely surviving under the weight of your own independence? 🤔💭

Lean on your tribe when the load becomes too heavy to bear alone. Seek counsel from those who have walked similar paths, glean wisdom from mentors who have weathered storms you’ve yet to face. And yes, don’t hesitate to turn to your partner for support. Their presence and persistence can be a powerful force in navigating life’s challenges. 💪🏾

It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It’s a testament to your courage. Your journey will be richer, your victories sweeter, when you realize that you don’t have to go it alone.

All this is to say: If you are struggling, drowning, floundering. And you’ve done it in silence, I’m sorry that you’ve learned that this is all yours to take on. You are worthy and deserving, and our (should be) collective obligation owes you that. Who are your people? Reach out. That is what has saved me time and time again. 🤝🏾

RECOMMENDATION

Get feminine care products with The Honey Pot. 

If recent headlines have taught us anything, it’s that the patriarchy knows absolutely nothing about pregnancy and gynecological health. 

That’s why I love the feminine care products from The Honey Pot. 💖

The story behind the brand is amazing. Founder Bea Dixon had been suffering with bacterial vaginosis for 8 months and was unable to find a cure on product shelves that would work when an ancestor came to her in a dream and gave her a vision to heal herself. 🩹

The herb-based product she created healed her, but she didn’t stop there. She created The Honey Pot brand “to solve for what other brands wouldn’t – feminine care, powered by herbs.” 🌸🌟

Everything they make is clinically tested, made from plant-derived ingredients and it’s all hypoallergenic, dermatologist-tested and cruelty-free. 🌎❤️

You can find The Honey Pot at Target and on their website! 

BUY THE HONEY POT FOAMING WASH

Talk Soon,

P.S. Before you go, I’d love to hear from you – when was the last time you asked for help from someone else? Comment below and lemme know.

Disclaimer: I receive commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this newsletter. All thoughts and vouching are mine. I keep it true.