Serena Williams’ Ass is My Patronus
Serena Williams’ ass is my spirit animal patronus (changed because the term “spirit animal appropriates Native American culture). I have said it once and I will say it again. Seriously. As one who wasn’t blessed with a lot of junk in her trunk, I do have ass envy. Remember the …
Eight-Inch Heels? No Thanks!
I’m a shoe fanatic, and I love heels and stilettos for their fierceness. I even got Must Luvv Shoes, a tumblr where I just post up pics of shoes I drool over love. My obsession knows NO bounds. However, I usually top off at 5 inches (with a 1 inch …
The Bible, As Told in 2053. Or Through Blogs
I was bored so I started thinking of what would happen if they came out with the new Bible in like 2053. Or maybe even today. How would the stories be told differently? How it would be covered by blogosphere and others. 2053 Bible is probably gon say Jonah got …
$100 Million ATM Receipt. *cries*
Mannnnnnn listen. I’m secure in my brokeness. If someone was to ever sue me, all they’d get is my collection of 130 pairs of shoes and 2 sacks of long-grained white rice. I got a pot to piss in but the window to throw it out is nailed shut. And I’m …
Planking: It’s Not Just an Exercise Anymore
I was minding my own business on Twitter tonight when I kept seeing the word “planking” in my timeline and I wondered what was going on. The plank that I’m familiar with is the exercise where you face down and prop yourself up on your elbows and hold it there. …
BET Awards 2011 Recap: The Show Was… I Got Questions
I don’t know. I really don’t have one adjective to describe the 2011 BET Awards. It was entertaining mostly because of the live-tweets from my Twitfam. But if I was sitting in my living room without the world’s commentary to keep me company, I probably woulda spent the whole 3 …
Norma Stitz and the World’s Biggest Boobs. 102 ZZZ of Too Much
I was reading Necole Bitchie’s site when I saw her post on the World’s Biggest Boobs. I clicked on it and what did I see??? Norma Stitz (I see what she did there) and her Mammoth Mammaries. Just O_______________o This woman is apparently in the Guinness Book of World Records …
Fried Kool-Aid is the Devil’s Snack
There are times I know the Devil has minions on Earth, and whoever invented Fried Kool-Aid is clearly one of them. What in all that is good, holy, sanctified and healthy is with that??? And I’m the fool who wants to try Red Velvet Fried Chicken. Even I’ve got my …
Go the F*ck to Sleep! Best Bedtime Book EVER!
Adam Mansbach was tryna get his kids to go to bed one night, and it took over 2 hours for them to finally go to sleep. So he got on Facebook and jokingly told folks he was gonna write a book called “Go the Fuck to Sleep.”
This Old Couple is SHARP!
I was on the Twitter, minding my own business when a twitpic came across my timeline. @Chromeo was at an airport when he saw an older couple who were dressed to the NINES so he tweeted their pic. Behold: Uncle Rufus and Aunty Opal (what I’ve named them) are slaying …