Everyone Needs the Best Roomy Ever

Just like everyone needs a Sassy Gay Friend, everyone needs the Best Roomy EVER! in their lives. What/who is it? Wells, I’m glad you didn’t asked! Cliffnotes: He’s awesome.

A guy from Alabama is moving to San Francisco in a coupla weeks for work, and he needs a place to stay. Naturally, he decided to head to the world’s favorite classifieds section of all things random: Craigslist!

He put up a normal ad asking for a place to crash in the new coast he was gonna be in but he didn’t get much love. Then he decided to go a separate route and lay it ALL out there in an ad about why he’d be the best roommate EVER! Read the full ad here.

His ad is EVERYTHING. Here’s part of it:

A bit about me: I’m respectful, quiet, clean and I won’t bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I’m just like, “Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it’s not mine.” I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I’ll even cook for you. That’s right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I’ll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don’t eat meat? That’s fucking FANTASTIC! I’ll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.

LMAO!!! See why I love him? He’s all considerate #nshit. Yes he swears like a sailor with a wedgie but he’s still so doggone loveable. More of his ad here:

I’m taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I’ll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I’d like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I’m ready to give you money.

He. is. awesome. My goodness. Who wouldn’t wanna room with this winner? WHO?!?

And to make matters even doper, he got a Twitter account (@BestRoomyEver) to continue his search for a place. The account, of course, is full of WIN and nothing but WIN.

How dope is he??? VERY is the answer! He’s like  a beer-drinking Dorothy Mantooth (a saint) in a blazer. I kinda wanna meet him. By kinda, I mean REALLY. We’d have a blast at karaoke. And we’d do hoodrat shit together. I think he’d be the best kicking it buddy EVER!

The ad he placed went up like last week and because of his awesomeness, he’s received over 10,000 emails, offering him everything from a couch to his hand in marriage. Everyone clearly wants the best roomy ever and I don’t blame them. He’ll keep us all updated about where he decides to settle in San Francisco. That’s what his Twitter page (which I’m following now) says anyway. And you can join his Facebook fan page too.

But yes. Do you love Best Roomy Ever? Would you let him crash on the edge of your couch?