On SHE-EOs, Support Systems and Savings
It’s Fearless February, Black History Month, and Library Lover’s Month.
And it kicked off with a BANG, as our very own Beyonce Knowles-Carter stole the show by announcing her Renaissance Tour.
It’s like she heard my FOMO over her Dubai performance and was like “FINE HERE!” But lemme tell you something right now. My savings plan said “Lemme come and be going” (shoutout to Nigerians and our sometimes nonsensical sayings) because I’m about to play the Hunger Games with the rest of the world to try to be in that building 😩.
I’m also excited because it’s 3 months out from the release of my first children’s book Little Troublemaker Makes a Mess so it’s go time!
I feel like 2023 just started for real for real on February.
For now, let’s jump into what’s on my mind…
Girlifying our job titles are unnecessary.
We remember when “Girlboss” was a massive brand. Much respect to Sophia Amuruso for what she created. Much respect. But I believe folks started remixing job titles for women that I find slightly othering for us.
All that’s to say, don’t call me a SHE-EO. Or sispreneur. Or whatever it is that leads with my gender before it talks about the work I do. Don’t get me wrong. I am proud about all the aspects of myself, including my femininity, but I find it odd when we make job titles feminine unnecessarily. I find it infantilizing.
We ain’t out here calling men Boyboss or HE-EO 🙄(but maybe we should be, to troll them). Furthermore, it makes the default of leadership MALE. To have to qualify the title when you’re a woman says the regular title is automatically male and I’m not for it. It perpetuates the notion that to be a leader is to be masculine, so anyone who isn’t has to state their case.
I’m an entrepreneur. A CEO. Leader of a whole media company. Don’t qualify my titles, fam.
So yeah, not here for it.
But lemme tell you what I AM here for…
I’m a huge fan of Black people unabashedly practicing nepotism.
I have a 20-year old niece (Dejah) who I’m trying to teach the things I wish I knew growing up. In fact, Dejah is on the dedication page of Rising Troublemaker: A Fear-Fighter Manual for Teens because I wrote that book with hopes that she’d be able to read it and find out so much that I didn’t know til I was in my late 20s. I wanted her and my other nieces and nephews to know what would have made my journey into adulthood and into success easier.
So the other day, she told me she’s looking for an internship and I sent her a link to one that came across my LinkedIn. I told her to let me know if she’s interested, and I can help her with her application. A few days later, I followed up with her about it and she tells me “Oh I already applied to it.”
This was me:
Me: Remember I told you I’d help you with the app if you wanted the internship.
Her: Oh. I just figured I would turn it in quickly.
It then turned into a life lesson. I explained to my beloved niece that I wanted to see her application and help her with it so it reflected the best of her, and I can also possibly reach out to someone in my network who is at the company to make sure eyes get on her application. I can’t promise that she’d get the internship, but I can at least TRY to make sure her application doesn’t end up at the bottom of the pile.
Her: Sooo I’d be a nepo-niece?
Me: That’s right! Lean into it!
Listen, not everybody can be CEO… But that’s never stopped a certain group of folks before. And frankly, it’s time we level the playing field. It is Black History Month, so what better time to start than now?
As much as we’d like to think the world is a meritocracy, it isn’t. And nepotism makes it go round. And that is what white folks have done for millenia without shame: make the calls to advance someone in their family or network.
I told Dejah: “You have a village. You are the member of a village of people who love you, believe in you and want you to win. Let the village help you. Also, you have me. And I have a lot of connections. And guess what? A lot of the kids who will be vying for that same internship will have nepotism on their side. Someone reviewed their resume for them. Someone helped them think through their answers. Someone made a phone call for them. You don’t have to do it alone.”
My niece, a little Black girl from Chicago, who is smart and thoughtful and kind, deserves an easier path than I had. She deserves the hook up. Guilt free. I don’t want her to struggle and strive and hit walls in the same ways I have. And what is the point of my wins, if I can’t make someone else’s wins easier?
I am who I am and I am where I am because of my hard work, God’s grace and the people who have spoken my name up in rooms I’m not in. The people who have given my cheat codes on this path to success. The mentors who have vouched for me. All of that is nepotism. I am thankful for it, and not ashamed to be a beneficiary. You shouldn’t be either.
Cuz there are a lot of nepo-babies who aren’t even deserving, who have made their way to the top.
Black people owe each other nepotism. Because we need everything we can get to stack more chips in our favor. Shoot, other people owe us nepotism too. Got a friend looking for a job and you know they’re reliable? Slide them over to the hiring manager you know.
It’s time for us to lean into our network and nepotism, unabashedly.
Anywho, about Beyoncé’s Renaissance Tour…
Autosave your dollars cuz we got expensive taste! Use Digit to autosave your dollars.
When Beyoncé broke the internet with the announcement of the Renaissance tour, she also broke our budgets! Cuz sis said “Oh you thought you were gonna stack some coins this year? LMAOOO NO.” And I’m not even mad at it because I’m readddyyyyyy for Mrs. Knowles-Carter!
Now that our pockets are pressed and under pressure, and we gotta submit to the Renaissance Tour Hunger Games, let’s talk about how we gon replenish our savings. That’s why I’m telling you about Digit.
Digit is a platform that I’ve been using for over 4 years. It autosaves your money by analyzing your bank account and spending habits. Then it finds amounts you can spare, and it saves it for you. That money is then distributed into your savings goals.
Your funds will remain safe and protected while you save, and you can always move what you saved back to your bank account whenever you need it.
So for example, if you have $100 in your bank account, it might pull out 20 cents one day. Then 10 cents another day. What it autosaves for you is proportional to the amount you have sitting there.
I’m about to empty my Digit savings for these Beyonce tickets and I’m not even shamed! TAKE MY MONIES, sis!
I’ve got my whole family on Digit so they use it too. It’s great for goal setting and I do it in addition to other savings mechanisms, but thisis one I sing the praises of because all you have to do is sit back, relax, and save money without even thinking about it!SIGN UP FOR DIGIT
If you click that button and use my referral link to sign up for Digit, you’ll get $5 to start your auto-savings! And this is truly a product I vouch for (which everything I put in the LuvvLetter is Luvvie-tested and approved). Though I get commissions on these links, I put them here because I stand by them.
Wishing you a weekend full of good things and a Happy Black History