Barack’s Moisturized Ankles Aren’t Playing Fair
While the world is crumbling and everything is a dumpster fire and I got more grey hairs in my edges than I can count, some people are flourishing. By some people, I mean President Barack Obama. You know, our ex. The One Who Got Away. The fool who sits in …
Dear White House Sinkhole, You Good?
Last week, we learned there is a sinkhole forming on the lawn of the White House. I’m just here to inquire about its wellbeing. Dear Sinkhole, Hey big head. So sorry I didn’t come and visit but I’m allergic to places where fascism gets written into law. But listen, now …
Why We Created the Black Women Running for Office Database and An Important Update to It
So what had happened was… the day after the Alabama elections between Roy Moore and Doug Jones, America got one more confirmation that Black women are superheros who save the day time and time again. 96% of Black women who voted showed up to vote for Doug Jones, who wasn’t …
If Cheeto Satan is Healthy, Then I’m a Scandinavian Princess Who Can Dunk
A couple of days ago, White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson addressed the nation to calm growing concerns that the Dunghole-in-Chief was in terrible shape health-wise. The doctor told us all that Mango Mussolini is in great health physically and mentally. He also claimed that the Fanta Fascist is 6’3″ …
White Women Need to Get Their Shit Together
Yesterday was the much-anticipated (and dreaded) race for Alabama’s newest senator. One candidate was the run-of-the-mill Democrat. Nothing radical or life-altering about him. Doug Jones is the status quo in human form. And the other was a pedophile who stood boldly in his racist, confederacy values. Roy Moore would have …
ThumbsUp Trumpledick and Disaster Barbie to the Hurricane Harvey Rescue!
With Hurricane Harvey wreaking havoc in Texas, the people of Houston and Beaumont have been in our thoughts and prayers. Even during such a serious time, Cheeto Satan and company couldn’t help but embarrass themselves and act the complete OPPOSITE of how a president and first lady should behave. On …
Steve Bannon’s Face is the Physical Embodiment of Soul Rot
Lemme start by saying HELL YES I will body and face shame every single member of the Cheeto Satan inner circle without guilt. None of them know how to act (remember Kellyanne Conway putting her feet on the couch). They go low and I go gutter. Anywho, one of the …
Scaramucci Got Fired from The White House, Which is Now a Temp Agency
It’s like the real-life Celebrity Apprentice in Washington, DC right now and it is just a clusterfuck over there. The Cheeto Satan White House got more turnover than a waffle maker. The latest casualty in Mango Mussolini’s administration is Anthony Scaramucci, who only lasted 10 DAYS before he got the ax. …
Is Melania Trump Getting Federally-Funded Side Peen?
Lemme tell you something. I haven’t started the new season of House of Cards yet because I honestly feel like we’re living in it. Double dose of it might be TEW MUCH. This Trump administration is like Primetime Fuckshit. On the bad part, everything is crumbling and the world is …
The NATO G7 Summit Group Texts We Won’t Get To See
In how many countries and at how many occasions can the Fanta Fascist thoroughly embarrass himself and therefore us American citizens? Because, so far this week we have at least 4. The NATO G7 Summit began yesterday and the idiot with our nuclear codes showed up and showed out in …