Is Melania Trump Getting Federally-Funded Side Peen?
Lemme tell you something. I haven’t started the new season of House of Cards yet because I honestly feel like we’re living in it. Double dose of it might be TEW MUCH. This Trump administration is like Primetime Fuckshit. On the bad part, everything is crumbling and the world is …
The NATO G7 Summit Group Texts We Won’t Get To See
In how many countries and at how many occasions can the Fanta Fascist thoroughly embarrass himself and therefore us American citizens? Because, so far this week we have at least 4. The NATO G7 Summit began yesterday and the idiot with our nuclear codes showed up and showed out in …
The Pope Meeting The Trumps is All Of Us
This international tour that Cantaloupe Caillou is on will not stop providing moments of memes. It will not stop reminding us that we (well, yall. I know who I voted for) have elected Sunburned Stalin to represent us all on the global stage and it is the biggest mistake ever …
Melania Trump is Still Wack But Her Hand Holding Block Game is Strong
In these times, we must find joy in the most unlikely places. Because half the time I’m just praying for the beast with no neck that the book of Revelations promised us to come down and end the misery of Donald Trump the Shitstain of Life running this place. In …
Because Those Who Voted for Trumpcare Deserve Petty Prayers
Last week, the hapless hoodlums who make up the House Republicans voted to pass the American Healthcare Act (AHCA) aka Trumpcare. If you have a pre-existing condition, insurance companies are not required to cover you, and if they cover you, they can charge you thousands of dollars for simple treatments. …
Ben Carson is to Smart as Slavery is to Immigration
One day. I just want ONE DAMB DAY where the crew of craprags in the Trump Administration don’t say or do something that is imbecilic. ONE DAY IS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK WHERE WE DON’T NEED TO DRAG THEM FROM HERE TO KINGDOM COME. Today is Ben Carson’s turn …
Kellyanne Conway Gotta Get Her Feet Off That Couch
Let me tell you something. The entire Trump administration must be made up of people who were raised by savages. Every week, they do some shit that is unbecoming of what people do when they are raised with sense as a core value and guiding principle. Latest is the picture …
Where is Hillary Clinton? Hopefully Taking All the Naps She Deserves!
People really have some nerve. I keep seeing folks asking where Hillary Clinton is as everything goes to hell and it floors me. People are really wondering where the woman who won the popular votes by 3 million but still lost the highest office of the land is hanging. Folks …
Dear President Barack Obama, So This Love is Just Over?
Because we’re having a rough time with the end of this relationship. I just wanna write him a letter, because he is not. Ain’t nothing worse being the only miserable party, cuz the way my petty is setup, I want us to wallow together. BUT NO. Barack outchea flourishing. Dear …
Can We Drunk Text Our Bae, Barack, That We Miss Him?
The New Yorker published an imaginary text conversation between Barack Obama and someone who represents all of us still in our feelings about him leaving the White House. Here’s a snippet: Barack: You knew this would be tough at first. Transitions are never simple. Me: I miss you so bad …