Hair 1, Comb 0
An Open Letter to my late Comb.
Dear Rattail,
I’m sorry you had to go like that. Twas a demise that was unexpected, and I am still shocked that you’re gone. Yes, I know I was wrong to wash my hair the day before I decided to braid it but who’da knew it was going to be so tangled as to trap you in. However, I had faith in you since you were not a little flimsy piece of plastic. But when my sis was combing my hair, and I heard a loud “SNAP”, and she showed me you were broken in half, I cackled loudly. For this too, I am sorry. I just couldn’t help myself. Especially after sissy exclaimed “Ooooo I oughta pop you in the head for this. You owe me a new one!”. I apologize for laughing even harder. However, I will say that I am glad you went down fighting. You weren’t no punk, and for that I got mad respect. You stood no chance against my awesomely tangled fro, but you never backed down. There was no bitchassness in your game. So Kudos.
Sincerely yours,
Luvvie
I already called Austin & Royster’s. We shall be having a nice service and repass for it. This rattail comb is survived by:
- Its BFF, a weeping pick (the fist is now a palm)
- A boar hair brush
- A smaller comb that is now whimpering at the sight of my hair
- A red satin scarf
- An old bottle of StaySofFro
- The entire Carol’s Daughter Hair line
Edit: My girl 8th Wonder said my comb was not tougher than Nigerian hair. Touche! lol
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16 Comments
*Pours out a lil likka for the deceased*
Nights like this, I wish…raindrops would Fa-a-a-alll!
sigh.
**no rattail combs were harmed during the writing of this comment**
funny Luvs. melikes. you grow more abstract everyday. is there a father to this style pray tell? heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooooo! wait before you fire back remember, i got lil niglets for lil niglets like you. achu, i’ll bless lil niggaz like you. these words will escort you from the colliseum to masoleum.
regards,
compel composed
…get your weight up ma.
*walks out singing “This is for my homey…see you when I get there. In that gangsta lean”*
OK, you were stupid for this post, but you were STOOPID for this:
Its BFF, a weeping pick (the fist is now a palm)
A boar hair brush
A smaller comb that is now whimpering at the sight of my hair
A red satin scarf
An old bottle of StaySofFro
The entire Carol’s Daughter Hair line
Carols daughter is the truf!
I dedicate One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey to our dear rattail.
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it’s too late to hold you
‘Cause you’ve flown away, so far away…
rattail’s epitaph:
“I combed, i saw, i faltered”
LOL @ Alise
I gave all my combs up for adoption. I hope they found good homes. Not homes like your nappy head, LUVVIE!!
I feel like you should pay retribution or be brought up on charges.
LOL!!! hysterical…
i need to have many a funeral for combs…
Three words: Jilbere’ Shower Comb!
Died @ “The palm is now a fist”
IG like a mug. As I am going natural, the ratail comb been put down a long time ago. These naps will murk that, mayne! LMAO
I’m maaaaad late to this party but I got one up on ya…. ya girl over here broke a STEEL RATTAIL COMB. Yes. You read right. I have steel breakin hair atop my fabolous head.
My girl never let me forget it. And we did have a funegro in the Ujamaa Main Lounge while she was pressing out my vicious curls.
This had me dying…I remember when I was younger when many piks would break off…
"HOW long since he passed on" <—Wanda's voice (GOOD TIMES)
Agree w/Invisible Woman:
Three words: Jilbere' Shower Comb!
And Try combing through thick curly hair while wet and saturated w/conditioner. Heritage Vegetable glycerin is the Truuf.
When is the Repass? Chicken? Tata salad?
[…] Hair 1, Comb 0 – My comb lost a battle to my hair. *Cue violins* […]