Something’s On Jermaine Jackson’s Scalp and It’s a Mystery
Jermaine Jackson has somehow turned out to be the oddest man in a family of really talented weird people and that is no small feat. Besides all the foolery he partakes in, like changing his last name to Jacksun (O__O) and being stuck in Africa because of his lack of child support payment, the dude has been walking around with hair paint for years.
He was on Celebrity Wife Swap the other day and folks were treated to this visual:
WHAT IS THIS, JERMAJESTY’S DADDY?? Jermaine cut off the growth on a chia pet, dipped it in tar and glued it on his scalp like TADA! I’m so unable. I think this is an artistic rendering of the BP oil spill. Maybe we just aren’t appreciating the depth of Jermaine. Maybe he invested in Sharpie in the early 90s and he just wants to make sure it remains profitable.
Jermaine is unable to matte. He’s so matte-deficient ALLATAHM. Skin looking like the finest patent leather… I can’t deal with him and unidentified textured hair paint coiffure! I just cannot. Can science solve this mystery for us? We’ve made it to the moon. Surely, we can figure out what Janet’s brother and Katherine’s son is rocking as a hairhat.
I just wanna hear what y’all gotta say. My girl Afrobella said:
“it’s like…waves of melted electrical tape and a kufi made of badger fur on top. also whatever he’s using is clearly sweatproof. Because Jermaine has remained oily skinned all his life and it remains in PLACE despite the spotlights he perpetually tries to be under.”
*DEAD*
But really. What is this on his scalp?? Talk amongst yourselves. I am CRYING laughing already.
Get these blogposts directly in your inbox! Sign up for my weekly LuvvLetter below:
It is time to write that book. Come into The Book Academy and learn how to go from IDEA to INK.
Related Posts
319 Comments
#iCANT
Shouldn’t he be careful doing that wife swapping thing??? At some point its going to stick. (…not to his hair)
Dont he and randy have the same baby mama? Seems like he’s used to it!
it’s like if you lay him down sideways he looks like the sleeping man on the side of the mountain and his edges are where years of molten lava have flowed down the side of the volcano and begun to cool and reshape the terrain. hawaii ain’t ask for him to represent they culture like this. walking around looking like national geographic went bankrupt. JESUS FIX IT AND MAKE IT WHOLE AGAIN!
LOL!!!!! I AM DYING!!!!!!! Hawaii is just pissed OFF!!!
Lol. 🙂
CTFU!!!! @ cblack
You are not right for that! Hawaii! Lol
His hair looks like it came out of a 3D printer.
I literally threw my head back and laughed out loud!!!!!!!
Bahaha I laughed so hard snot came out my nose! Ew, tmi but that was straight to the point!
S. is for save me T. is for take it off O is for oh no P is for please Please
http://youtu.be/stKievVOzo0
I’m thinking that there’s a really big black shoe on his bed that he uses as a pillow…She shine boy in the morning heehee
crazy hair he look like a fool that’s it
The world championship battle of prima donna hilarious wigs…Jermaine Jackson vs Mickey Rourke and the winner is – A Draw.
When I was watching celebrity wife swap…I was like “wth” legit what is wrong with him, his face looks like a freaking melting candle and I have a question was he caught in the oil spill and Dawn forgot to wash his hair… Otherwise I’ll stop buying dawn because they aren’t doing what they promised
It’s not just his hair! I also just watched Wife Swap and OMG what a sap – Is he really that weird or was he acting?
No, he IS just really that messed up. He wasnt acting LOL
Kiwi shoe polish on that fools head,life time skin problem too.
He truly looks like the Tin man from The Wiz!
YES! I couldn’t figure it out but that’s it!
Yes!!!! And here I thought I was the only one who saw that!
A teeeeee a teeeeeee
LOL!!!!!1 Hahahahahah
omg stop! Lmao! Imma have a damn stroke mess in around with y’all!
OMG!!!!! I can’t stop laughing!!!!
Yop! The Tin man with plastic scrunch waves. Stay out of Detroit, bro.
LMBAO straight from “America”
Jermanine: Oz never did give nothing to the Tin man, that he didn’t already have.
And Cause never was the reason for the evening
Or the tropic of Sir Galahad
So please believe in me.”
Lolol tongue in throat!!!!!
LMAO
LMAO
hahahahaha!!! Slide some oil to me….
STAHHHHP! LMAO
….slide some oil to me…
So true Mercia. Specifically the Tin man from the wiz like in this clip. LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAS5flBTSwo
Tin Man’s face, Oompa Loompa’s coloring. Mama Jackson’s threesome went very wrong.
“Mama Jackson’s threesome went very wrong”?! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!! So wrong, so VERY damn funny!!!!!
LMAO! *hollerin*
His tattoo artist is talented…who knew that you could tattoo fingerwaves…on a scalp?!?!? Genius.
Oh Lawd, I am DONE!!! LMAO!
iCan’t breathe and iQuit you
Lord! Why she say tha?!?!
*dead*
Tattooed fingerwaves…I thought I it all in 3rd TX..
I always thought he used shellac and boot black. :-/
@Danielle: Shellac and boot black, I am howling like a wolf baying at the moon. That’s funny.
So… He is one of those old school dolls that you would put the play dough in, and squeeze out the new hair. It’s the only thing that makes sense. He is all plastic, and squeezes out new hair when ever it’s time to go out in public. *shrug*
This. I thought I was dead but I keep laughing every time I re-read it.
LMAO this!
Lol Shani! prolly pushes in his belly-button and out comes the new growth, all shiny black and coiffed
Nooooo! Play do hair!!!!
Why???? LOL
You are talking about the Play
dough Fuzzy Pumper…just crank it out and cut it off with those big awkward plastic scissors!
BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA #Dead
“Artistic rendering of the BP.oil spill?”
Time of death: 10:45 pm
Bury me in purple please…
I too saw this. Um why stop at the hair? What about his hot pink shirt, man boobs and inability to care for himself? The whole episode was bizzaro world
Child the new wife’s facial expression every time he did something crazy was priceless.
That’s the one.
#thisonekilledme
LOL!!!!!!!! And be ready with some old negro spirituals!!! LOL!!! I am DYING!!!!
That hair hat was crafted from the finest of possum fur and rolled around in some coal.
Please don’t do that to the possum.
Oh honey, possums are much more attractive, lmbo!!!!
LMFAO #Dead #icant
Why are his pores so large? Does he collect the oil from the wells on his face and use it on his hair?
This. Just Dayum.
Just rub his hands across his face and smear it on his head. Like Katherine used to do with vaseline in the winter.
That’s the economy tub of brown gel. Only brown gel can mold hair like that. Smh. That looks like a defective hair piece ….smh again
Yaaaaaaaasssssssss, servin’ us some Ampro realness with a side of Pump it Up… I love it.. you can’t outdo Jermaine
OMG howlingbansee are you the comedic genius who gave us the Soul Train commentary? I just passed out laughing and woke back up to type this. HAHAHAHAHAH
It look like he has black shoe polish over some ramen noodles.
This. Exactly this!
OMG!!! I’m DEAD!!!
Now this one here…THAT’S FUNNY!
Just damn. yYou all are SLAYING me today. LMMFBAO!!!
OMG, it does!!!!! I’ll never look at Ramen the same way again, lol!!
Omg. Ramen noodles….DEAD!
EXACTLY!!!!!
California raisin reincarnated.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_California_Raisins
You cut that out, right nah!
X-D
HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Yes! Exactly that!
OK, so the sides and I’m assuming the back are slicked down with that brown shellac, right? And those waves are created with a wave tooth decorating comb, which until this very moment I did not realize existed. Generally used to decorate cakes, Mr. Jacksun’s hairdresser went out on a creative limb with this tool ri’chere. https://www.bakerycrafts.com/Images/DC-BC24.jpg
And that top? That’s an S-Curl, again shellacked, but teased high. Because, as we all know, the higher the hair, the closer to God.
Almost fell out my chair, laughing so hard at this! Haha
You might be right. I’m a master barber and there is nothing in the book about whatever it is attached to his head like some alien being. His face looks like burnished wood or weathered leathered from the Colorado mountains.
Best reply EVER!!!!!!!!!
*IN TEARS* This right here!!!
Done. And Done. Thank you.
LMAO!
I am SO glad I wasn’t the only person that thought of the cake decorating tool!!!! *LMAO*
Jen DC you rightly divided this hair sichuation’!!
OhhhhhhEmmmmmGeeeeee!!!! I can’t laugh any harder!!! ROFLOL!!
Noooooo! Lost all my cants!
That fondant on the side looks nice.
Aww I am on the floor crying yo!
Oh god please stop y’all please! I’m dying laughing over here. I can’t even breathe. This is just too funny.
This is crazy. That picture freaks me out.
It’s a sadness texturizer with a desperation pomade, all held together with a self-hatred hairspray.
x__x
Ok. This is my favorite.
Dead. So funny, yet so sad.
Self-hatred hairspray took me to Glory!!!
Me too. Jesus lawd. I need hands laid pronto!
Haha! Hit the nail right on the head perfectly! ha!
I CAN’T! I’M DONE! YOU WIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Someone call 911 , cause this deaded every other comment. Bwahaha!!!!!
Time of Death: 10:17pm.
MA’AM.
Chiiiiiiile…..this right here looks like fresh bike tread in the blackest of tar….somebody has begun road construction on the side of Jermaine’s head… we are currently down to one lane and I got places to go. LOL
“Road construction on the side of Jermaine’s head.” 🙂
You are in need of the Lord. I’m done like a pound cake, right here.
Honey bunches of nope! Lol my new favorite cereal.
When you said down to one lane with places to go…. I had to line up for altar call! Lmaoooo
“…down to one lane with places to go,” had me crying and then you said, “…line up for altar call,” and I did the cry-silent-laughing-body-shake-till-I-die kind of laugh… #onthefloor
i had to! i had to go lay that burden down and leave it with the LAWD!
I.can’t.breathe!
“We are currently down to one lane and I got places to go.”
I’m SLAIN! Forget burial, just cremate me and let my ashes blow in the wind!
Now I have to shut down and go collect my feelings…cry…laugh…repeat!
Pulse rate rapidly decreasing!!! Call it… I’m dead!!!! /\/\________/\_______________!#hahahahahaahaha!!!!!
KB, I can’t with you…LMMFAO @ road construction
He must be using something old school like Dax or Blue Magic mixed with some sort of paste
JJ looks like Nipsey Russell from The Wiz. “Oi-ul! Oi-ul! Slide some oil to me…
I AM CRYING!! Hahahahaaa, I thought the same exact thing!!!
I don’t believe this is real life… His head looks like a molten conglomeration of licorice and those caramel candies your grandmother kept at the bottom of her purse next to the peppermints and crumpled kleenex.
I call that brand of candy the official Church Chew.
I figgered it out, if you look closely, it is patent leather on the sides and the top is one of those brushes you polish your shoes with. He also takes the time to melt chocolate on his face everyday. And Va La he is Casket Ready!!!!!
DEAD,At Casket Ready !!!
I’ve said for a while that his coiffure is a combo of Murray’s, conkalene, squalene, S-curl and boot black with Marksalot on the edges. He’s doing way too much with that wig-hat and his face is looking like claymation!
His hair has ALWAYS made my head itch. I won’t even go into the mystery that is his skin.
o_o It all has a strange texture I feel like a good scrub, shave, and some witch hazel could/would/SHOULD fix.
It’s like he wraps his hair at night with hot wheel tracks.
Hot wheel tracks. Dead
:::settling into casket holding a shiny green hot wheel:::::
STAAAAAAAAAAAHP
*limps away, crying and shaking my fist at you* I’ll get you next time, Gadget!
You just kilt (yes I said kilt) me dead!!!!! Phoning my next of kin and the crematorium dead!
He’s the same color as your argyle background
So…you think sniffing his hair will give you the same high as sniffing markers?
BWAAAAAH! Legit good question. I wonder if it smells like the scented markers. If it does I’m guessing it smells like licorice. Or grape.
Forget the hair…. why is he orange? Or red? Or whatever that colour is. This is not a black man. This is the result of an oompa loompa mating with a lump of ear wax.
I can not! LOL! Why am I laughing this hard?
This man and his hair has been “interesting” for years. It has definitely reached EPIC levels at this point!
Burnt Sienna…
See you had the 64 pack. I’d forgotten that shade.
Sepia!
LMAO! He’s Crayola Fuzzy Wuzzy brown! https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-T1ru3CKFs_w/TXXF6xAmwkI/AAAAAAAAAB0/l279Kod–mY/s1600/119-fuzzy-wuzzy-crayon.jpg
Oh my spasms of laughter hurt so bad.
Hahahahahahaha!!!!! “An Oompa Loompa mating with a lump of ear wax!!!” Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Priceless!!!!!
See, yall just can’t chill! *DEAD*
*Squints* *enlarges picture* *squints again*….Wtf!?
Looks like he sewed a wool hat to his head and painted over it with black shellac.
As the amount of gray hairs increase, he needs more and more DAX/Sharpie/Crayons/Boot Polish. He’s “just saying no” to gray. Has anyone seen a Jackson with gray hair? Including the dad???
At least his ishhh is lined up straight.. He must have a stencil.and a can of spray paint… Lmao
But the outline makes him look like the ace of clubs. He need ta back up off that sharpie.
I got nothin.
I originally was thinking lack of sunscreen which explains the rubbery, orange toned skin. Overall just speechless that he looks like a human California raisin, ****drops the mic****
Damn, damn, DAMN, the comments here…?!!!Have mercy! I am so done with you people, lmao!!!
My sides are hurting and my eyes are streaming. My hubby can’t watch his show cause I’m acting a fool!
possum, badgers and a bike tire on fresh tar…oh my
Me too! I can barely breathe from laughing so hard.
that is a combination of kanekalon braiding hair slicked down with brown ampro gel, enhanced with that hair in a can spray paint, set to harden with clear nail polish for shine. yup. sounds legit
You Win! Enough internet for me today! KANEKALON set with clear nail polish? I will not!
I am so late reading all of these comments. But, this one right here…girl…I am so completely undone! Everyone has had me dying with laughter. You, however, left me unable to be resuscitated.
Why so many comparisons??? Lets keep it real!!! He looks like a very horrible ugly,aged, wax doll…. with all that $$$$:i cannot be convinced he can’t look better.Either no one loves him enough to
Be honest with him or he’s blind or he just doesn’t care. Life goes on! I feel sorry for him. #poorsoul
He’s the opposite of his brother… Just saying…
… heck ya, totally opposite; this one is still alive and shaming the world!!!
… these comments have ruined my stomach muscles and I will never sit the same again… just too dayum funny
I do NOT feel sorry for him. If he actually got his life together instead of trying to be his baby brother he might not look like a prune dipped in red sealing wax with an aura failing stocks in disappointment and poor life decisions….
*aura of
You know who I feel sorry for? Anyone who allows this grease trap to sit on their furniture. You know you can’t get that shit out.
That’s my picture I took….
Word? Gimme your site or link so I can give you credit for it.
I took it and put it on Facebook. It’s cool…it was linked to the pic I took and threw me off. Rotflmao. Beelowery on Facebook
What….in…the…he…wait….I….ok, after I’ve tried to wipe the greazzz….not grease, but greazzz off of my damn phone (because I swear this negro’s greazzz is seeping through), I just have to wonder if homie is a spokesmodel for Blue Magic or something! If so, Jermaine…boo…YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!! This fool looks like he ate one too damn many piece of chicken and was like, “Ya know what? I’mma just jump off in the batter myself and get on up in this oven!” LMAO!!!
I…wow…just…wow!!
These comments are killing me!! I only watched that show to see what he was gonna do. Jermaine did not disappoint!! His hair, that orange makeup, that temper tantrum he threw by locking himself in his room!! The man is 60 years old and is so childish!! SMH!! These comments!! LMAO!! #dead
Soooooo…… We ain’t gon talk about his lack of eyebrows? No? Ok…..
But all I’m saying is he eyebrow deficient and orange. Not a good look.
I can’t speak on the eyebrows, not enough testosterone to go around, I’m thinking BUT as far as the skin goes, maybe he had an overdose of Vitamin C?
Gumby got a tan.
He look like a wax figure.
NO!!!!!!!
He’s a Jackson and ……
He’s a Jackson! That’s all
Hahahahahahaha!!!!!
“It’s the wax that the Terminator X Spun,”
I’ve ascertained perhaps he attempted a hair transplant, but the tiny needles caused a wavy pattern of keyloids that happen resemble the current loom band braclet craze. He attempted to use the blackest of black Bigen liquid hair paint to cover this unfortunate mishap and sealed it with Pump It Up Spritz. The sheen obviously comes from the old S-curl activator that ran down from the shag on top to the sides
You’re welcome.
Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Thank you!!!!!
Not keloids #dead bahhhahhaaa
He is just tamming all of his baby hurs. Ridonkculous…….
I’m in my bedroom, shoulders shaking, tears just streaming down my face, trying not to wake up the entire house with my laughter. Please continue!
I asked my mom to put on her glasses n look at his picture, since they from the same generation n she’s wise n what not. Anywhoo half a second after lookin at the pic, she buried her head in a pillow n screamed. It’s jus an unsolved mystery yall
this is my new favorite, because I hollered, out loud, at work. lol
Whycome nobody talkin bout the MAC ooh baby lipgloss he wearin on dem lips?
You sure that’s not grease from his face? Maybe he just runs his finger across his forehead (carefully, to avoid the the hairline stencil) and smoothes it on his lips.
Wow, people, wow!!!! I am reading this in bed and about to fall out with laughter. Your comments are more creative than his hairstyle
Been wondering for yrs now, I’mSleep!
fbrq thinks the hair is sexxy, even if it is fake and should be taken off, still riding the sexxy train :*
What I dont understand is why it looks like his head had tv interference, like back in the day when the tv would mess up and it would get those rolls up and down the screen.bless his heart that he looks like old school cable side B!
The sudden outburst of laughter this just caused with years got me kicked out of my boring ass board meeting. The visual killed me!
Thanks to Luvvie and the commenters, I have just woken up my entire household. I am screaming, howling with laughter. Y’all give me soo much life !!!!
Jermaine had an entire face-lift in 1987 and was one of the first volunteers in the LOTTO replaceable face=off competition where said sneaker company who originated replaceable logos on the side of the shoe were now attempting to originate a form of “face-lift” where faces were lifted off entirely, the muscle tissue was covered with velcro and an array of faces and hairstyles were available for purchase. This is the “Clay Mask Black Wicker Tar Forest” (item 0024), Jermasty’s favorite. It is a non-drying clay invented by the Crayola company. The black wicker was woven by Peruvian children who dip their fingers in candle wax before weaving and spitting a tar like bile over their rapidly working fingers.
This takes me back to the jeri curl days and makes me wonder what his pillow looks like. Yuk!!!
I prefer Chris Rock’s view: Jermaine is jes GREASY.
I’m assuming he’s got the cataracts or somethin’.
Confusing his Kiwi shoe shine for a dark and lovely leave in conditioner. Clearly the chemicals have got to his brain after all these years. That or Ms Katherine was poppin more than phen phen during THAT pregnancy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GeF7A05zQ8
This you tube clip for spray on hair is hilarious. I think this is what Jermaine uses. lol
He is obviously bald and trying to play it off. Magic Marker on the sides and a Chia pet’s growth on the top. That was an easy one. Either that or he is preparing for a role as “Alligator Man.” The leathery skin is dead giveaway.
A hairdo that has not moved for years! Same caked products=never grow old! Haha
Never washed his face, piled up makeup+grounded in cinnamon dirt=opened poses :/
It’s Dax mixed with shoe polish or maybe a new invention of lacefronts. Lls
Must have taken some really complex mathematical formulae to come up with that pattern.
He’s modeling himself after those West African Barber Shop Paintings where they paint the waves using white squiggles. It does not work in 3 dimensions, J.
Between that hair and skin, bet he can’t ever take a nap without laying down a tarp in the sofa. Oh, the pillow cases he must ruin on a daily.
Paper mache, black acrylic paint and glossy mod podge perhaps? He must stay in A.C. Moore!
I can’t believe a man his age acts so immature. Oh and that hair style he got plastered to his scalp hasn’t changed at all. It’s worse now than ever. This reminds of a parodi a commedian did on youtube. Y’all have to watch this. Had me in tears LOL!!
http://YouTube.be/3PCTQvUZ5j8
I’m telling you, he has a #1 Yaki hair toupee (in kinky curly) that he glues on, then he spray paints his whole head with jet black hair paint and wipes the edge with a damp cloth before it dries. This is very fashion forward. It is all the rage with the puppet villains on children’s television.
“It’s all the rage with the puppet villains on children’s television.” __________________________________ Flatline
Noooo I wasn’t ready! Puppet villains tho! Hahahaha!
I just literally laughed out loud in my office; I have tears….
puppet villains, doe?! DEAD. lmaooooo
How long black weave glue been Out? Because thats clearly black weave glue! U know how it get on ur scalp? And and its very hard to get off? Yulp!!!y’all problem solved it’s black hair glue. And do he look a lil tab bit like James brown? Im just saying!!!!
His hairdresser took, noodles glued them on his head and spray painted them black (instead of the usual gold, like we did as kids) then went in the yard and dug up a patch of grass and and plopped it on top like a cherry…… and said TADA!!!!!
His skin looks like a LAND handbag tho? Like….
these are old Jackson 5 vinyls melted and attached to his head.
Y’all r some straight comedians!! I mean I’m over hear crying like I’m at a funeral!! Jermaine asked 4 this 2.. He know he’s dead wrong.. I can’t even say what his hair look like. I’ve been staring at it and don’t have a clue. Only thing I can come up wit is shalack mixed with black shoe polish mixed wit razor blades with a couple of packs of soy sauce then he let it harden while sittin under the hair dryer and get his complection by sittin under the dryer as well..
His hair looks like it snaps on and off like Legos and what’s that on top yarn????
Awww SHIIIIIIIID, not LEGOS!
Aaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my damn Woooooooow ya’ll are killing me. Im ova here crackin the hell up. Dead just dead I tell ya!!!!
http://youtu.be/cJhlU2Byfws
They lost me at protractor and primer. _____________done
It’s like someone dipped Sponge Bob Square Pants in black ink and placed it on his head.
So much going on up there…he ordered the combo-platter!
He’s like a permanent Halloween mask. He’s what I tell my niece lives in the basement waiting to devour bad little girls in order to get her to behave. I bet Madame Tussaud thinks he escaped her museum.
Hahaha wait…what? No! That image made me behave. When mere thought of you is worse than the Boogey Man it’s time to give up on this thing called life.
PS- Joanne, you owe me a new Icee because you just made me spill mine down my shirt. I want Coke please, thanks.
Damn every single one of you people. You’re not allowed to be this funny during office hours. I’m going to a staff meeting soon and I know a couple of inappropriate giggle fits are coming because of this. Thanks bunches.
And to think I was gonna marry this fool in 1975! I was 16 and “Daddy’s Home” had come out. I got Jermaine’s picture and autograph at the Tower Record store in Hollywood. I wrote on back of the picture “THIS is My husband! I dodged a greasy, stiff, bullet!
A friend of mine said he melted all his unsold albums and brushef that in his hair to contribute to conservation during global earming.
*DEAD* #DontTakeItPersonalRealness lol
It looks like he got Bigen’d and the person got the hiccups while applying it. The end results was the ripple effect. #askforyourmoneyback
I don’t know what kind of hair hat he has on, but all I know is he better stay away from anything flamable, or that thing is going to be permanently melted to his head. #HAM
I thought the boy’s name was “Jermajesty”…
He looks like he uses Bigen “China Black” faithfully once a week, light rinse. Nothing else coats the scalp like that. I’ve seen many a stray hairline due to the magically power of that stuff.
So none of y’all noticed he looks like Emmanuel “Webster” Lewis. IJS!!!
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQC5XfpaDU29N0pGUQPse606wfDEX3WYB-U38Yf14bnGI7pScsc
This is one of Pixars claymation characters. It’s all clay and sharpie! Getting ready for Pixars version of the Jackson 5.
Dear Jermaine,
Why don’t you do what you do when you did what you did to somebody else’s hair…
Sincerely,
Jackson 5 Fan before they went coo-coo for coco puffs….
*DEAD*
Graveyard dead. No tombstone.
An Armadillo comes to mind when I look at the sides of his “hairdo.”
all i know is that the Soul Glo sections of Coming To America were foreshadowing of WTF we see now on Mr ‘Jacksun’ (so damn stupid for that, too!). i’d bet GOOD Monopoly money that he leave oil slicks and grease patches whereever he goes like breadcrumbs, so his baby mamas can keep track of him for child support
These comments have made my day, Iam laughing so hard it hurts. Poor Jermaine, he definitely did not look in the mirror before he let someone take ghost his picture. It’s a shame that he will not except his age with grace. True fact I have never seen a Jackson with gray hair. So wrong for all and any reason.
War between Chia Pet and Vigorol Relaxer. There is NO WINNER here.
@ametia: NAWL! Not Vigorol Relaxer. LOL! LAWD!
I think the boy is just totally bald and gray and for SOME super odd reason thinks the shoe polish on his head makes him look better/younger. As for what’s on top of his head, it’s not real “hair”…Looks like maybe he collected pieces of a shag rug, boiled it, dyed it black and glued the fibers together to create…what? As for the rolls on the side of his head, only thing I can think of are noodles painted black and he had plastic surgery to embed them on the side of his head…then decided to use black shoe polish to create a “wavy” look… The end result is a horrid look.
He got some mini-French rolls with a freeze on top. As for the makeup, I guess that is Armor All Foundation #31, mixed in with WD-40 Concealer and Monkey Blood Blush….chile, I don’t know what else to describe this look as, besides a ghetto Gulf Spill.
*dead*
Ghetto gulf spill tho…. I’m headed into the light. Tell my family i love them…
Take me with you…..these comments I’m reading will have me flatlining anytime soon….kmsl
It looks like he sprayed a pack of ramen noodles with Ron Popeil’s spray-on hair and then placed it gingerly on top of his peel-and-stick finger wave. I can’t!!
Ever seen wooden leather??
he has reverse male pattern baldness and Benjamin Button baby hairs and he’s using the Chili technique to contour them to a sharp line up down the sides and back of his head with fitty-eleben quarter-size dollops *holds up hand to camera #teamnatural* of roof tar for super duper strong hold. he wraps it at night in a scarf made of black electrical tape.
Bwahahaha at ‘the chilli technique’ she has had ‘baby hair’ forever …ain’t she close to 50! Lol
His whole head looks like Spongebob Squarepants’ house, down to the pineapple sides.
O I see … I get it…
He has a 3d tattoo on his head… But coincidentally, he is going gray….. So he used the finest mascara to fixed it up… You know the no clump formula…. I guess he figured, just like coloring, you could stroke in the same direction and create a sweet design…. Quite artistic if you ask me!!! Smh
N***a lookin like King Koopa. I’m through.
I have been wondering about this nuts head of idk for years. With his face tightened and that head, he looks like a doll. So maybe its all prosthetic hair piece. Why don’t he see that he looks a WHOLOE HOT MESS. This proves that with money you don’t have true friends or family in his case. Let one of my friends or family members come out like that, I am goin to keep it 100 and tell them about themselves. Let alone he been MARRIED how many times…they crazy too and money hungry. Walking round talking bout this my husband and smiling. He done wore this box style from the time it was in style, went out of style and now coming back. Lawd have mercy I can’t go on, I just can’t.
That ain’t nothin but Beijeng black hair dye from mai-ling beauty supply on the corner of mlk ave. It penetrates the skin as well as scult. Its killer on the gray hair
I was wondering if it was a giant black tattoo!!! WAIT!! I KNOW!! IT’S OIL FROM THE EXXON VALDEZ!!!!! HE WAS THE CAUSE OF THE SPILL!!!!!!
So he was the original actor cast in ‘faceoff’. They surgically removed his face and put it on a mannequin so the leather wouldn’t lose its shape. That’s why he’s got no facial hair…cause he has no hair follicles…. no eyebrows, eyelashes, mustache nada…just the molten ash from the incinerator that burned his leathery face that was transposed to his head in lieu of hair…
Jermaine Jackson looks like an escapee from Madame Tussaud’s. Like he must stay replacing pillowcases… there’s no way you can wash all that out
That aint nothin but JAM and Bigen #59-Oriental black . Jermaine done bought out the company and my poor edges aint laid down right since 93
______^_________^_______^__________________ *flatline* not since ’93 tho! LOL
(*sigh*…) Jesus be a lifetime supply of blotting paper. And deliver Thyself with haste to Jermaine’s doorstep. Amen.
This is really how Michael should have looked too.
They woulda been two Greasy N*ggas
The shade…..I love my people.
You can’t outdo Black folks! Lol
What the eff is Jermaine Jackson doing? He looks like a black Ken doll with that hair. And his skin? I’m not sure if he looks like a raspberry fruit roll up or a bootleg Louis Vuitton bag. Ugh. Just looking at him makes me want to put on some daggone lotion. Gross.
What in the seven fiery rings of hell is going on with Jermaine’s hair and skin? He is just bizarre looking.But all these comments have been so entertaining.
Who is this man’s stylist? And how much money does he pay this person to do this to him?
I could read the foolery going on here all day, except I would be fired for having inappropriate outbursts of screams and laughter!
I imagine his next tour will be sponsored by Armor-All.
The black delegation would like to swap Jermaine Jacksun in return to have Nick Cannon back on the black side.
Murrays’ Bees Wax + Jam Conditioning and Shinning Gel after 5 minute BLACK Hair Color rinse and one skull cap to make those super waves!
Not a clean sheet in the house
That ain’t nothin’ but the pink bottle jazzin, hair dye, jet black, and a pineapple that hit him in the head while he was waiting for the dye to work itself in. Don’t worry baby, we can rinse it out. Come on over ta da sink baby!
That poor man’s ultra perm took a turn for the worse..
He is rockin’ the level 16 sixteen Hawaiian silky waves that cause immediate motion sickness upon visualization. This my friends can only be accomplished by Let’s Jam Gel- Extra Firm hold
He’s become the prototype for his eponymous action figure doll available soon in the toy department at your friendly neighborhood walmart.
Its like he glued a fresh packet of Bobby puns to the side of his head, or used shellac on a packet of dry taken noodles, I just……..
Ugh damn auto correct I meant Bobbie pins/ Ramen noodles. Stupid spelling mistakes ruin all the funny!!!!
0_O.. Jermaine’s stylist has been located…Hey mike wazzup!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
The latest from floor depot: Jackson’s head to be used as floor samples: laminate face and sides: available in leather brown and faux tight wave. Top shown is shag carpet, grease edition. Available at a floor depot near you. *Not available at all locations. use at your own risk.
http://youtu.be/stKievVOzo0
Chris Spencer talks about Jermaine’s hair!
I know the top of that head anywhere…he scalped Kid from Kid and Play!!
Ok you all I can’t laugh anymore my stomach hurtd
If Thomas the Train caught on fire, this is what he would look like once the fire was extinguished.
This is what happens when all the crazy inside your head starts coming out through your scalp.
Ya’ll know he playing DaShawn ShoNuff (aka Danny Zuko in white version)in the all black production of “DAX” (aka “GREASE”), a Tyler Perry Production…
DAX IS THE WORD y’all…
mascara
All I can say is lawd help the pillowcases. He must ruin em nightly!
I’m seriously at a loss for words. May we bow our heads and pray.
Father God, I first of all want to thank you for the talent that has come from the Jackson family for we all know that which we call Michael and Janet are two of the most legendary performers ever. Father we also thank you for LaToya Jackson for giving us all a good kee kee every so often at her expense. But Lord, I also want to give you a hearty thanks, for one Mr. Jermaine “Slick Wig” Jacksun. Lord, I ask that you bless him from the top of his spongy topped head to the soles of is feet. Lord I ask that you touch this man and absorb ALL the oil from his face and shrink those pores father. Be a Clarisonic facial scrub and eliminate the enemies oil from his skin and bathe him in the essence of an oil free moisturizer. All these things and many more we ask in your matchless name. In sweet chocolatey Jesus name we pray. Amen.
CAN. YOU. NOT. “Be a Clarisonic facial scrub and eliminate the enemies oil from his skin and bathe him in the essence of an oil free moisturizer.” I just can’t with you, I can’t. I done laughed myself into a migraine
He looks like Pokey… Ya know Gumby’s friend.
It looks like a massive oil spill is washing ashore on the beach of his face.
He looks like one of those claymation figures from brother Michael’s Moonwalker movie in the Speed demon clip, with his Day-Glo Orange leather car seat skin and hair that looks like a brillo pad painted black.
Oh the tears! I woke up the baby…it was worth it!
I first thought he went and got a few pieces of yarn and cut it up and plastered it all over his head, with a glue stick, then he got creative and got that black spray paint to give it that vintage realness. but when my two year old daughter came walking by and stopped to glance at the computer screen and she so softly stated “look mommy, he color his hair with crayons” that’s when I knew it was over. Jermaine and that Crayola black custom sculpted side slick though. lmgdao dead!
Ma’am, your daughter wins this whole thing.
It’s a Gary thing. In the early 1990s, truck carrying jheri curl activator had a spill in Gary, Ind. People were scooping it up off the street. True story (really!). I think this is use of residual spill content that’s been hanging around for a while.
[…] P.S. If we can make dead artists perform, why can’t we figure out whatever is sitting on Jermaine Jackson’s scalp? […]
Jermaine hair has a texturizer and that black spray that men use to cover their bald spots. He just sprayed it all over, put spritz on and sat under the dryer. Look at his hairline. Its black spray.
SMH at Mr. JACKSUN (appropriately named because apparently he looks golden fried like a piece of KFC sealed in a honey glaze. Either that, or he’s greasing his face with a Vaseline and Pancake 31 mixture. His hair…freshly shellacked tufts in the top, with rugged corduroy panels on the side, colored with the finest of Kiwi black shoe polish!
His family along with Stevie Wonder’s all need their ass beat for allowing these hair faux pas. Y’all posed ta help dem see the errors of dey ways… SMH…
Sometimes when people have enough money they get carried away and literally SPOILed themselves.
i done tol’ y’all its TATTED on! he has paid someone a TON of GOOD $$ to draw him some permanent hair WIT WAVES! #pillcrazy
I am dying.. trying to magnify the pic to make it bigger so I can investigate the madness…
Who cares I don’t know him personally and neither do any of y’all. that’s what’s wrong with black people today They spend so much time talking about other people and putting them down They they don’t have enough time to bring themselves up. everybody needs to stop hating and do something to make this bitch ass country better wake up people black is beautiful let’s keep it that way
Y’all know Jermaine done applied an entire can of Murray’s pomade to his head! He just forgot to apply the warm towel afterwards. We must learn to follow directions!
i cant.
The most disturbing thing about Jerkmaine is his prissy little attitude. What an effing fruit. The whole world wants to show your wife what a real man is like.
We all saw her light up when she got her an eyeful of the Baldwin boy.
[…] takes a village to let people know when they look a fool. Outchea looking like Jermaine Jackson’s understudy. I’m […]
I was under the impression that his scalp is a black tattoo.
Fried, dyed, and laid to the side, and A. MESS!
He looks like a black Umpa-lumpa with a Krispy Kreme glaze…
Like he’s auditioning for Blade the Musical…
Looks like what happens when you soak for hours in blessed oil…smh
I came back here because of the Devante Swing #PhonytailGate. I am so effing high from the endorphins generated from the 3 hours of laughter from the comments on Devante’s Doberman Pinscher tail that I needed more of a fix. Like a crackhead. Like Devante.
That’s a really nice 27 pieces…..
It looks like he dipped a wafer of ramen in tar and glued it onto to his sharpied edges.
I feel like he duck taped out his “hair line” and told his child to have at it with the midnight black shoe polish as for the ramen noddles he burnt tryna boil them with out water on top I suspect a glue gun is how he got that to say. Matte deficiency? Hunny coconut oil is always the answer. Solution? Sprinkle some glitter add a spot light since he love thoes and he could be a cool black disco ball #diy #pintrest #etsy
[…] I really feel like Jermaine Jackson is trolling us all, at this point. He GOTTA BE. How can one man be so clueless about how hot of a mess his hair is? Every time we see him, he somehow manages to make himself even more laughable. That is a gift and I thank him for the medicine of laughter. I already talked about how he got something on his scalp and it’s a mystery. […]
What’s with his lips? His cold sores have cold sores! Ewwww!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlU6SivNWp4
Men please just stop
I get it. It’s very strange. I have thought this for years and wondered what is going on? Looking now, I’m still puzzled that people with money ever have bad hair.
This is my shallow comment.
Delving a little deeper, I watched for the first time in years, the full version of the Jackson 5 story, American Dream, I think it’s called. I have always thought in recent years how much Jermaine looks like the Tin Man from The Wiz. After watching their story, I find it to be no coincidence really, his resemblance to the character. How odd, and haunting that the Tin Man wanted a heart. He also needed to be released. He was left like junk. I read somewhere where he thought he should’ve been the one with the stardom. Also when he refused to leave Motown when his father urged he did to remain with his brothers, he was really torn. That must’ve been heart wrenching for him. We are all affected differently by tragedy. Some people never really truly recover. Then there was also their family religion. That in of itself, no disrespect to anyone reading this that is of that faith, but there were further restraints there that not many people can understand nor endure. I have heard horror stories of the affects that religion has had on people and their families if they decide to leave etc.
As a young girl, I always thought Jermaine was the handsomest one of all. I was in love, a little, while everyone else was loving our beloved Michael. Fact is, these men were all broken in my opinion. I looked at another clip of them performing “The Love You Save” on the Ed Sullivan Show. Something caught my eye. To the audience, these young men were performers and they were loved. To them however, their performance was mingled with pain and fear. While I’m sure they had some good times in their closeness with one another, they were playing for the life, their livelihood and at the command of their father. Joe Jackson meant business. He had his children well trained, and they feared him. From what I can tell this man was a driven man that was going to make it all cost. What we see today and have seen with the famed Jackson 5 are casualties of his drive and desire. I can’t speak on this man. I don’t know his hurt, but his actions got great and poor results.
We never know a person’s true story. We can laugh and point fingers, but there is always a reason for what we call crazy. Many of us have no idea what it must’ve been like to be raised in a family like theirs, in their time, with that type pressure and much of their childhood taken. Pain manifests in many ways, and in my opinion, this man that favors the Tin Man does so well because he like the tin man needs to be released from his pain. The pain has been so deep and covered for so long, that where the place his heart should be, could be an empty cavity, deteriorated by much hurt.
It’s strange, but it’s not really a laughing matter. I pray that even in his old age, Jermaine find true joy and freedom like he’s never known. That love’s oil releases him where he is obviously immobilized and he gets to the heart of the matter for himself.