Dear Serena Williams, So You’re Just Gonna Be This Flawless Effortlessly? Ok.
Serena. I SAY, SERENA. GIRL STAHP. Why did you just do this to all of us? Your New York Magazine cover and editorial is the reason people write songs and poems and whatnots. I wanna pen some haikus and limericks in your honor because GAHTDAMB. I bet Common used one of his crochet beanies of days past to wipe some tears because these pictures of you are EVERYTHING. Everything. Every gahtdamb thing and I am LIVING for it.
You balanced on some bars like you told gravity you weren’t here for it cuz you’s a grown woman and you do whatever you want. You look so calm too, like in the next frame, you were telling your friend “Girl, let me tell you what happened.”
The only time I look this serene is when I’m in bed with flaming hot chips in one hand and my laptop in another, on optimum chill. But Serena, you’re doing a perfect split on two bars the size of my puny wrists, looking like you’re one “namaste” from Nirvana. I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR EPIC ASS. I just don’t. Who told you to be this flawless? WHO, I ASK? You are so damb disrespectful in your ability to exist effortlessly like the goddess that you are. Just flaw-deficient. I called flaw up and asked if it knew you and it was all “Serena? Oh I can’t go near her.” Girl, bye. With your amazing ass. I love it.
Not only are you on the tennis court snatching white women’s edges on your way to victories and championships, then you’re in front of some camera lens looking like the unfuggwitable magical unicorn Black woman that you are. Ma’am, I bow at your feet. Chile, yes. Just yes.
These abs could bleach a shirt stained with Nigerian stew grease without detergent. WASHBOARD ON TEN. The muscles too? I don’t even know if I’m worthy. The little yorkie on the right is like “you petty for showing out like this and making everyone feel inadequate.” SHE IS. You might have just said “what yorkie?” I don’t blame you. It’s easy to miss the small dog to the right when the Queen in the middle has stolen all your attention with her fierceness.
I tried doing a cartwheel and hurt myself by falling sideways into my wall. But Serena outchea putting her leg up straight in the air like that’s normal. Favor ain’t fair.
Basically, I saw these pics and realized that Monday was a wrap for me before it began. Everyone can go home because Monday has been slayed. Just… wrap it up. It’s done. Monday is sold out and we can try again next week.
I promise if I had half the body you do, I’d be a terrible person with no friends and no behavior. I don’t have ANY couth now so can you imagine? You can’t. It’s ok. Jesus made sure I wasn’t BAWDY blessed because He knew me before I got here. He knew I would be the reason for “don’t be awful because you look good” manuals. I’ve said it before. Your yansh is my spirit animal. But nay, your entire badassness on the court and off is my patronus. When I say “Expecto Patronum” your abs come out my wand and fend off all evil things.
Thank you, Serena Williams. For being everything dope.
P.S. BISH, COME THROUGH!
This write up slays as hard as Ms. Williams slays life. How people can even fix their foolish mouths to say she’s anything less than totally fit is completely beyond me.
See what a steady diet of white tears does for you! LOL!
Damn you!!! I choked on my salad. Lol
The salad I had to fix after seeing that pic.
Now, that’s hilarious! As I sit here eating biscuits and gravy! Tonight I hit the damn gym!
I’m on my second slice of pizza, so…let’s just kill Tuesday, too.
Only Tuesday? the rest of the week… heck the damned month…. it’s a wrap!!!!
Through my damn lemon oreos away and settled for low fat water and diet air for lunch.
Damb you, Serena.
Double damn her. She too fine!!!
y’all are sooo eXTRA!!! lol!
I chuckled so hard reading this. lol. Love it Luvvie! Serena is DEFINITELY giving us built like a stallion realness on this pic. Come through sis. Come through. And they want to say sis is a man…she sitting there looking gawgeoussss and other freaking bothered! Yassssss
I might was well call my gym now and cancel the membership. Damn you Serena. Sigh.
P.S. If you ever got Serena, FLOTUS, and Lupita in the same room the Earth would just give up and hurl itself toward the sun because the planet would be unable to handle that level of fabulousness.
OVER. *drops mic*
Throw Misty Copeland into that mix and the entire galaxy will explode into stardust.
even that tiny Yorkie on the table to her right is looking at her like: “wow, how you just gonna slay us all?”
Called up Flaw. Nigerian Stew and Black Unicorns. I’m dead!
Lissen, between Misty Copeland’s Essence cover and Serena’s NYT Magazine cover and spread, I am DONE fo da day! BOFADEM just ouchea slaying and snatching edges, making me wanna eat a twist donut because I can’t even think of anything else to do. Come THUUUUU sisters, witcho #BlackGirlMagic. YES!
I’m slayed out between the two of them. I had to take a daggone nap SMH.
Serena is not playing with nunna y’all! She just read every asshat that said she looks like a man, for filth! Didn’t have to say a word. “BLOOP”
Not for nothing: Venus is still pretty fierce herself. Just sayin’.
Much as I love Rena, Vee is the queen of my heart. She looks like a million bucks too, and rocking that natural hair fiercely.
common is not wiping up tears with one of those crocheted beanies. neither is lavar. trust.
[unless we’re calling the early arrivals “tears” these days.]
It took me a sec to get it, but you right! *insert Kerry Washington meme*
Serena is slayed to the gawds! I had to look at the pic again to find that dog. Ain’t nobody checking for Scruffy.
I’m done and headed up yonder to Glory about this. I didn’t even SEE that dog to that left. Serena is a black woman superhero that is so fly she doesn’t need a cape or secret identify.
I stopped speaking to Ms. Serena after I watched her win the French Open semifinals WITH THE FLU, then politely conduct the post beatdown interview in flawless French. So, I’m currently unavailable for comment on this most recent pettiness on her part. I was recently offended by the remarks made by her lesser opponents about how they didn’t want to win badly enough to be “masculine” like Serena. I wonder how their tears taste after they lose, are they salty or sweet?
All of this comment right HERE! Gone Serena
Raises black power fist and pumps the air.
I still don’t see the dog…….just attempted the leg lift…..anybody got some bengay or icy hot……thankya….LMAO
And chics out here tryna have a thigh gap!
“When I say “Expecto Patronum” your abs come out my wand and fend off all evil things.”
Just ASSTRORDINARY….Oops I mean EXTRAORDINARY!!! LOL Kim Kardashian, Iggy Azalea, J Lo, and even Nikki Minaj get yo life and bow down to a real derriere born out of genetics and hard werk….SHHH if Serena ever decided to twerk in LA she would start a earthquake size 10 on the Richter Scale!!! #dididothat?? Um yes ya did!!
**dead** ——> ” I called flaw up and asked if it knew you and it was all “Serena? Oh I can’t go near her.” Girl, bye. With your amazing ass. I love it.”
I just packed up all my shiznit (puggle included) and walked my ass to the back room (you can’t properly leave the office when you work from home) because…THIS! Luvvie!!!! THIS!!!!! I saw that picture 322 times and never once notice the damn yorkie. Lemme go find my frozen can shirt because I NEEDS IT!
Gurl if you need me Ima be on the couch attempting a semi split while reaching for my wine glass. She slayed the damn picture and then you slayed this damn post!!! Good day to you madam! #loveit
I swear. Photos of Serena and Misty should be hung up on the walls like pieces of fine art. Combine this with the Lancome ad of Lupita that I saw in Town & Country, and I AM DONE.
You know what….that is an excellent idea.
ROTFL. ***Dead***. This write-up was Everything. I Love me some Common and coined him hubby in my head…but damn it after seeing these I understand why he cheated on me smh. #Lordt
“looking like the unfuggwitable”…….I AM DEAD! I CAN’T!
I couldn’t get past “I called up flaw…” I’ll be back when I stop choking
I’m with the Yorkie (which yeah I only just noticed). It’s just… cruel really. I saw these pics and wept with the feelings of inadequacy… and then went and did squats.
Serena and Lupita are about the ONLY women I am actually envious of. And I’m no slouch myself.
Go ‘head on Rena wit cho BAAAAAD self.
because of Serena I ran almost 2 miles yesterday. I know I will never have a body like that but damn.. I can dream cant I.
I am buying multiples of this magazine and putting her picture on my refrigerator and every kitchen cabinet door.
I just threw my lunch in the garbage. Her perfection is a black mama with a belt.
The real question is where can i buy this print? Why isn’t it made available to me?!
Damb the Monday, damb the week….I’m giving Queen Serena the whole doggone month! August in on lock, sewn up, thrown away, kaput, blown out, teased out, fried, dyed and laid to the side. Chile please!
“When I say “Expecto Patronum” your abs come out my wand and fend off all evil things.”
Luvvie, I sweatergawd I hate you! LOL!!!
Lmao I love this article
My word I have seen these pics all over fb and evertime I see them I smile… All who wanna talk let them… She dont have to say nothing performance is her weapon…
And I just had to scroll back up cause I wanna know what dog you guys talking about…smdh I never even noticed it..lol
Goddess Serena is my new name for her she is definitely an inspiration to us all…now gonna take my ass for a run…will not look like her today but it dont mean I cant try
*scroll back up* god be my strength this is gonna be a long road lol
Serena Williams is truly flawless! Not only is she a great example of a strong, powerful woman, but she is great example of positive female, (especially females of COLOR) representation. You rarely see the media portraying women/women of color in positive light if at all, but Serena makes it difficult to not love her. Not to mention she is gorgeous and her abs are killer!
[…] of how Serena does it – she beams her dazzling smile and her radiant brown skin, with stunning outfits and a lipstick […]
OK ,so Serena just dropped it like it has a high temperature huh!!!
Sister don’t even care if a sister got hurt ….. duju know tat I Jes ran into tha wall Tryna do that thing u did with ur leg so high like its normal #HeckNoItIsn’t…..and as for yorkie,I can totally see why he isn’t bothered about not being noticed!!! #HeBusyWatchingYouSpreadThoseLegsBeforeHimLIVEEEEE!!!!
I’m not a fan of hers, but I’ll be the first to admit she’s amazing at what she does.
[…] of how Serena does it – she beams her dazzling smile and her radiant brown skin, with stunning outfits and a […]
Not gone lie. I missed that damb yorkie… all these months later.