Coldest Winter Ever
And no, I’m not referring to Sister Souljah’s book. It’s -26 degrees (feels like it anyway) right now in the Chi. That is a screenshot I took of weather.com. Like in REAL life, not virtual. it’s reported that this is the coldest it has been since 1996. I don’t know how I’m supposed to put on for my city under these conditions.
Like, in REAL life, this is what weather.com just told me.
For people who don’t know how it feels to be in -30 degree weather. This ish is JARRING. I walked outside with my 100% cashmere scarf covering my face, looking like a Colored Ninja. Yet when I breathed through my nose, it burned like hell. That must be what snorting crack feels like. I walked a block and a half from the train to my job and my toes got frost-bitten, I sweahfoGawd and 3 wise men!! My eyes involuntarily teared up and when it hit my scarf, it had turned to ice. I kid you not.
I need to be somewhere hibernating. And get this, even them hood ass city pigeons that run the streets are nowhere to be found. Maybe they realized that their counterparts that go south for winter are on to something.
I call bullsh*t. I need to start looking for other locales to move to beause this ish right here… this ISH right here… is DEF (not death, but DEF). Either that or I need to rob a bank and go buy a winter home in Fiji.
I rebuke this weather to the pits of Dereon bedazzled hell!
Chicago, I quit you and your aura. I do not put on for my city, and will not until it gets its life together. I just can’t.