Rompers for Men: I’m Here For Thigh Meats Season!

The talk about rompers for men has taken over social media. It started when some Chicago folks launched a Kickstarter for something called the RompHim, which is basically mid-thigh rompers for men. It’s just in time to kick off the summer.

Well, that Kickstarter has raised over $219,000 in 4 days as men flock to support the onesies.

At first, I wanted to hate the concept. Toddlers and Beyoncé look adorable in onesies. Adult men? Notsomuch. But then I got to thinking, and connected with my inner creep and realized that this could work. Especially if Black men jump on this craze. ESPECIALLY. I will be loving seeing them and all that YANSH all summer. All them thigh meats they got? LISTEN. Don’t threaten ME with a good time. I’m ready. I will even learn to whistle just for the occasion.

CHISOS. All them bubble and track booties strutting in the streets. I’ma be all: “SHAWTY WHERE YOU GOING WITH THEM THIGHS ALL OUT LIKE YOU AIN’T THICK AF?!? EEYYYYY.” Other times, I’ll take another approach. MINE EYES WILL THRUST THEMSELVES UPON THINE THICK THIGHS, NUBIAN KING. Let a guy look particular bootylicious in a onesie. ZAAAMMBB ALL THAT WAGON YOU DRAGGING. CALL ME, ALMOND.

I’m just wondering if someone can get one to Idrissa Elba. Crotch watch 2017 is in full effect! Catch me this summer objectifying and ogling TF out these men.

Anywho, I dropped this in my FB and my people agree!

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Denene: Thick thighs save lives, Shawty. Where yo girl? She just let you out like that? She lucky.

Jessica: I just wanna yell at them “SMILE!” then follow them until they feel uncomfortable.

Terrance:  I’m getting a romper, I am trying to decide if I want an all white or pastel colored one

Luvvie: Pastel. White gets dirty too easily. We’ll bring the dirt as we whistle at you in the streets.

Terrance: I got more cake than Sara Lee, i’m ready and I’m not scared.

Luvvie: I’m ready for you, Terrance. Please post pics.

Liliana: Thighs are my favorite. And some how I got myself a man with no butt and the thighs of my 95 year old dead grandma. He keeps saying that’s just how he is… and I’m like… wanna go do some squats?

Liz: And DON’T BE ASHY. That’s all I ask. Do NOT want to see ashy thighs.

Luvvie: This is an important piece. We need them to oil them hamhocks up before sliding into these onesies.

Liz: They gonna start shaving too tho? Cos Iono about how sessy King of the Jungle hamhocks would look in a romper.

Luvvie: In fact, we need to write a rulebook for them before they partake in onesie season. Don’t come out here looking like chewbacca in a romper. DO NOT.

Constance: Don’t do that Luvvie. These dudes Finna be out here butt naked when they try to pee.

Luvvie: That’s fine. They will deal.

D’Arcee: NOOOOOOOOOOOO Luvvie!!! Not you too! You were our one black bastion of Afro-Reasoning and Anti-Foolishness! I need to go get the Extra virgin olive oil. I gotta pray.

Luvvie: you know I am also a cheerleader for certain shenanigans.

Nicole: I’m gonna be the cougar of their nightmares. 😉 Fair warning.

Leslie: ???? especially if they’re made from the gray jogging pants material #prints

Luvvie: ESPECIALLY.

Ebs: I’m laying odds that Odell Beckman and Cam Newton are going first

Jonelle: Cam Newton done wore a Romper to Cochella! And looked great too

Luvvie: Russell Westbrook is gonna wear one and make us all mad b/c they shouldnta ever given him access to one.

Donna: I was wondering how it was gone hang?

Luvvie: LOW. Like it should. ????????????

Kimberley: A lil tip at the hip!!! Lol

Ty: You mean that a Romphim will cause me to be objectified? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Joyelle: I’m locked and loaded. “Aye, aye Brown skin. Aye!! AYE!! Well ???? you too then. You ain’t all that anyway”. ???????????? #getthemcheekstoclapping

Cheryl: We’re gonna need some pictures of your thighs first ty

Ty: In accordance with the Geneva Convention, pictures of me have been deemed crimes against humanity, and to display them unfiltered would cause me to be brought to the Hague for charges. 🙁

Cheryl: Nevertheless I’m persisting

Danielle: Girl, I ain’t got time for a dude dressed like a 6 year old girl, but they will be squoozed in that cotton onesie.

DeShawn: Please leave crotch room because I don’t wanna see no moose knuckles! Let it sit on ya left thigh and point to ya right so I know its real!!

Tauleece: #SAYNOTOTHEROMPERSBROTHAS y’all’s thigh meat ain’t like them white boys! Be done started all types of riots, insurrections and coup d-etats! LOL!

Autumn: This…. might not be a bad thing.

Jessica: Am I the only woman eager to try on a bromper? I have a sneaking suspicion it would fit me better than what’s out there for women. Plus, POCKETS.

Marlene: I veto ALL of this foolishness now! Why? Because somebody’s uncle is gone wear one to the cookout this summer with black socks and church shoes. I rebuke this in the name of baby Jesus!

Sharese: A romper, with thick n thin’s and some Stacy Adam’s. Talmbout “Tell ya mama Rufus stopped by”

Sylvia: And be in critical dire need of a mixture of shea butter, Eucerin, Vaseline & crisco to combat his ash. Knees and ankles will be lookin dry like the Sahara. Somebody’s uncle is going to ruin it. I’m not a fan of the look but if one is going to do this fashion don’t one should not look like his appendages have been baptized in Martha White and ready for the fryer. #thisisnotthe2pieceweordered

Tanette: When this happens and you know it will, some fool is gonna have is made out of crown royal bags. I can see them now at the summer music concerts.

Nicole: Baby!!!! Is that a pistol in ya pocket or you just happy to see me?!!!

DeDwana: 0 to leacherous pervy perv in 10 seconds flat…… “Hey YEW doin????”

Beth: Sky’s out, thighs out!

Jill: It takes a special kind of man to rock a romper.

Keith: Thou shalt not skip leg day.

WHEW!!! Bring it on, bros!