I’m Not a Big Drinker But I’m the Public Lushness Fairy
I’m a lightweight when it comes to alcohol. I prefer the fruity drinks that taste like juice over taking shots. In fact, shots give me the heebie jeebies. Sometimes, I’ll take a shot if enough peer pressure is applied. But my face afterwards looks like the #10 on the medical pain chart. EEEWWWW!! I was forced to take a shot of Patron on my birthday once and I had the ugly face for 15 minutes afterwards because I was so disgusted by the taste.
Yes. fruity dranks make the world go ’round. I will not turn my head up at an Amaretto Sour. Or Malibu and Pineapple. I’m the kind that thinks red wine tastes like despair and tar. The only wine I drink is white wine. Preferably moscato. The super sweet stuff. I’m the anti classy in this way but I’m ok with it.
In spite of all of this, I seem to be the Fairy of Public Lushness ever since college, when my apartment was the spot for monthly parties. Folks would come over with dranks and we’d kick it unmushy. Anyone who got sloshed spent the night on my couch. Or on a pallet on my floor. We were freshly 21. And off campus. But we had good clean safe fun. Apart from the one time one of my friends came up missing and we found out she had walked her drunk ass 8 blocks to our old dorm to say hey. O___o GURL… WHAT?!?
I was often more sober than most though, since it took me 2 hrs to finish one cup of vodka and cranberry. And it was 10% vodka, 90% cranberry. So I have a lot of pictures of folks that don’t belong online. Since they have real jobs and whatnots. Like the one where… NOPE! You thought you had me, huh?
College is when someone said to me “You provide the spaces for public intoxication.” And my rebuttal is that better my friends do it at my crib than outside and fall in the gutter. But one thing I don’t deal with is drunk folks getting sick. If you puke, you will clean it up yourself. Please know this.
Other sidenote: WHY do people get drunk to the point where they pass CLEAN out??? WHY?!? Get some sense and know when to stop. Besides, what’s the point to getting so drunk that you forget everything that happens? Know when to stop. MESSAGE!
Anywho, I haven’t had parties like I did in college SINCE then. I got old. And we all don’t live 2 blocks from each other anymore. So… drinking doesn’t happen as regularly. Special occasions, yes? Sitting on my couch unwinding with wine? Nah, not me. But I’ont knock it though.
Last month when I went to BlogHer, I was fortunate enough to meet Danielle of Momotics, who ended up being our Wine Fairy for a night. She had bottles of wine in her hotel room and we had a wine party. And then ate cheeseburgers. Good times. The licka always finds me.
Sidenote: Danielle is preggo now, so I’m not sure if she’s gonna be our wine fairy for Blogher ’11. This makes my soul sad. What is we gon’ do??? *wall slide*
Then I got contacted by a firm for TGIFridays some weeks back. And apparently, they just came out with a line of cocktails that come ready served. As in, the liquor’s already in it. They offered to send me the new liquor if I just had some friends over to try it for a little pahty. Eh sure why not? I got the liquor and my homette DeeDee of The Sassy Peach hosted the shindig at her crib last week. Well, the dranks were OFF THE CHAIN! It ain’t because I got them for the free either. You know I won’t lie to ya. I got the Margarita, Pina colada, Long Island Iced Tea, Mudslide and Strawberry Daiquiri. I was double-fisting with the mudslide and the daiquiri at one point. Folks were tryna judge me. IT WAS DELICIOUS.
Good times were had by all. The night ended up with me and my friends playing Guitar Hero. I was on the bass. And failed HORRIBLY. The song was “Eye of the Tiger.” By the time we finished that, the tiger was cross-eyed. That’s how bad we killed the song. I blame the drinks. Or my lack of hand-eye coordination. Tomatoes, TOEMAHTOES. But yeah, THANKS TGIFridays! You’re the bees knees! *winks, finger gun points*.
Iunno how but the licka always finds me.
P.S. This post makes me seem like such a lush. Family, I’m not. I just play one on this blog. *angel face*
Disclaimer: Yes, TGIFridays compensated me with alcohol for throwing the party (the ones you saw pictured there). But it doesn’t mean they know my life and controlled my thoughts. So nothing I wrote in here was from them. The drinks WERE delicious. If they tasted like FAILURE, I’da told you. Ok… that is all. Good day.
17 Comments
Those drinks were INDEED off the chain! Luvvie’s eyes were sitting lower than Kat Stacks #selfofsteam!
I’m mad I missed the Guitar Hero session! I’m a beast (read: mediocre) on that game!
iHate that iLove u for this: “Luvvie’s eyes were sitting lower than Kat Stacks #selfofsteam!” Just RUDE!
And yes, Guitar Hero was a disaster. We pretty much killed (in the bad way) every song we played. Twas shameful.
First, I’m laughing at the whole cheesburger and liquor concept. Enough of that combination sounds like you’d be praying to the porcelain god.
Second, what are you looking at in the picture? It looks like you are having unspoken conversations with that burger. Sexy cheeseburger eyes! LOL
Yeah the cheeseburger party was pretty damb awesome. I think that’s why I was making googly eyes at the burger. Alcohol and junk food go hand in hand.
YESSSS the drinks were too delicious and surprisingly potent. I laughed so hard that I’m STILL a lil hoarse. Good times.
My throat DEFINITELY hurt from laughing so hard. You were not alone.
Yer Most Lushness Awesomelynessis,
Well … I looked at the digital imager-y and decided …
“No … she’s Public LUSH-ISH-NESS its-self. I’ma doin’ the obvious ‘triple-take’ on da street”
You Rock it girl. And I don’t care what no-body think of that …
Thanks Litey!
Thanks Litey!
I need to try those TGIFridays cocktails! Noted…
Yes indeedy!
Why must you live in my head? I like a lil drank every now and again (read: every Thursday during Grey’s and Private Practice), and will NOT drink to the point of vomiting. Death, thy name is Everclear. *shudder* NEVAH, EVAH EVVVAH again…*wall slide*
And yes, you were whispering sweet nothings to the burger in that picture!! lol!!
:mental note to purchase said TGIFriday’s drinks:
Death, thy name is Everclear.
And coma, thy name is Ketel One.
You so eloquent!
They’re SOOO worf it!
Hey, is there a “No Lushness-Drink No Pu%#y” movement yet?
(Did I just really say that …?)
GO AWAY, Litey!!! complete mess.