Chingy’s Album Sold 683 Copies and Went Credit Score
Classic albums go gold, platinum and diamond. Michael Jackson’s albums went plutonium and sh*t because they ran out of metals awesome enough to describe their level of DOPENESS. This was in the past though. It seems that albums don’t fare as well nowadays. Not even close.
First, Kelis dropped an album and sold 7,500 copies. Then I find out that Chingy just came out with an album, and it sold 683 copies.
683 COPIES. That wasn’t a typo. There wasn’t a 0 missing. It just wasn’t there. 683 CDs??? That’s all you gon sell? #NoShade my dude, but 683 album sales? Was it only released in Iowa? What happened? You can tell a G. (-__-)
Then my homie George of ThisAintThat.com gon say “I wanna meet the 683 people that bought it. I wanna know if they bought it on purpose.” LMAO! No Country For Failing Rappers.
683 though??? That’s a CREDIT score, not album sales. That isn’t even A1 credit. He coulda sold 50 more albums & still not beat some folks’ credit scores. Someone get that boy an intern A&R. He got Kizzy Rowlanded! That’s the only way one can account for this failure. Like they made it an effort to keep his album release a secret. Womp.
Chingy’s album went:
- To his Mama’s basement. With 683 sold, he musta got just like half the folks on his FB friends list to buy it. I’m kinda sad about that.
- Cloth diaper. Clearly the whole world done shitted on him collectively with the cold shoulder he got. Po’ thang.
- Junk mail. I wonder what plaque you get for that. Maybe a silver-colored letter opener? That’ll be nice.
- Bus card, which, coincidentally is all he can prolly afford now. THAT, my friends, is tragical.
I can’t rap. Or sing. Or do things that involve tune. But I bet I could release an album and go AT LEAST remote control. Chingy… (-_-) Like DAMB. #ChingysAlbumWent plastic fork and ain’t nobody even ask how HE DEWIN? Y’all are selfish in so many ways. Po’ thang. Does he have PayPal? Is he taking donations? That’s just a mess. Even Kelis has the right to roast him.
Ya know how you went to high school with someone who became a successful rapper? Well Chingy’s high school friends can’t say that right now. Maybe in 2002 they could. I wonder how they feel. THESE are the important things to wonder.
Someone told Chingy “gimme what you got for a porkchop.” And Chingy handed over a nickel (what he earned from album sales).
Ok I’m done. I’m done. Let me leave him alone. Chingy was somebody back in the day. When “Right Thurr” came out, I did the chicken head dance so hard that I got dizzy. That went HARD. What happened to them days?