Whose is this?

Whose Demon Canta Melon Baby Is This?

Sometimes, people get really creative at baby showers. Apparently, the toilet tissue game isn’t innovative enough anymore and the food needs to make a statement. I came upon the picture below, of one of the snacks from someone’s shower and I jumped back and almost threw holy water on my laptop.

Canta Melon baby

Ok THIS is frightening. I mean it. There’s a cantaloupe baby in a watermelon with grape eyes and it is threatening to haunt my hopes and dreams. They were going for cute but this is hella creepy. I’d walk past it and rebuke it at the same time. NOPE.

Then the baby is under an avalanche of melon slices and I am just not ok with it. I posted it on the Awesomely Luvvie Facebook page and let folks have at it. In fact, shoutout to Tiffany, whose comment is what I used to title this post.

“This is what happens when you have to bring something to the shower, and your potato salad game is weak. Trying to be creative and hide your lack of skills.” – RM

“Next time just go to the Children’s store and buy rompers and diapers.” – YP

“That is horrifying! It’s looking at me…I can’t look away…..” – NC

“People, you can’t work with fruit when it’s 95 degrees and you ain’t got air conditioning. That baby has the meat sweats!” – LD

“That baby has jaundice” – RM

“Rosemary is on line 1 and she needs her baby back!” – DJ

“It looks like a baby shower for a pregnant opossum.🙈🙈🙈#Shivers” – MM

“That baby don’t feel good…” – SW

“I call dibbs on the eyes! I love grapes.” – LC

“Who got the idea to make a damned watermelon fetus!?!!?! I’m never going to cut a watermelon up again!! The EYES alone are the reason I’m about to have this extra mimosa. Stop making foods that look like babies. I know a young person had to do this because my aunties and them would never agree to concoct this fuckery.” – BN

Kandi side-eye

“This gives new meaning to the saying: “Your baby is so cuuuute I could just eat it up!!!!” – DE

“Unncessary fruit abuse.” – MH

“And wait, who the hell ate this? I’m giving them disgusted side-eye too…Nasty. That ugly baby demon fruit better had left the same way it came in…” – MB

“No one! Nobody ate this! This abomination looks like it’s on its third shower because no one will touch it! They probably sprayed this abomination with lacquer and keep dragging it out.” – LD

“See this is what happens when your cousin decides to supplement her income by starting an event planning business with a $20 gift card from the dollar tree and her EBT card” – JM

“Are they having an alien baby?” – RH

“What’s wrong with coming together around an amorphous and severely jaundiced newborn with soulless, bloodshot eyes?” – DH

“Loose now in the name of GeeZus foul demon!” – JC

“Was it a horror themed baby shower?” – MH

“When You Try To Support Yo’ Cuzzin An Dem’s New Start~Up Business… Outta Their Kitchen!” – TS

“When did a good ole box of yellow cake mix become obsolete? Momma used to cut up fruit in the kitchen and put it in the big plastic bowl and we loved it.” – PS

Side-eye dog

“Omfg nooo this looks like a child’s uterus science project” – AS

“Poor aborted melon.” – MP

“Nooooooooo…in every language, every font, and sign language too. NOPE… creepy ass fruit bowl” – MJ

“Why? Cause they had the scraper tool and the poor defenseless watermelon! This is not right!” – DA

“Am I the only one who thought it was a puppy? 😟” – KR

“Am I the only one who looks at this creepy-ass thing and sees a Podling from The Dark Crystal?” – TU

“I’m in bed INNOCENTLY scrolling my timeline and I read Luvvie’s comment THEN I see this picture. Luvvie almost made me mess up my bed linen.” – JS

“when trying to be THAT hostess goes wrong!!! LOL” – RD

“It looks like the baby is still in the uterus.” – EA

“Pinterest got people out here thinking they’re Martha Stewart when they’re really Chef Boyardee.” – RM

“Unless there are copious amounts of liquor to drown that baby in, I cannot partake in this fuckery.” – EDH

“No…just no. I’m not eating that, ma’am. Looks like some sort of illuminati blood offering.” – JW

“My mom taught me not to waste food, but if I was at a shower with something like that, it would be the one time I would not obey.” – JV

“So clearly we all have missed the garter used as an accent? And I have the sinking feeling the thought process for it was “well it’s been laying around since I went to that Bachelorette party, and I only wore it when we went pole dancing, so it’s all aired out by now. So, you’re eating creepy cantaloupe baby with a side of thigh sweat and pole.” – ET

DEAD Nicki gif

“Using fetus to feed us…” – KAB

“Why does this make my scalp itch?” – CM

LMAO! They are so unable to chill over on my Facebook page. I LIVE for it!

So… whose demon canta melon baby is this? Do y’all need to be banned from Pinterest? Let’s discuss.

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  1. KPNeedsANap
    July 9, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    Now I have 3 phobias: clowns, swans, & Canta Melon Babies. Who’s your party planner? Are they working under indentured servitude? Are they being held hostage & this is a cry for help? Do they hate you and or the guests attending this shower? This is distressing.

  2. July 9, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    *slides from side to side in front of laptop* Its grape eyes keep following me.

  3. Silk!
    July 9, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    It appears they meant to copy this: https://www.google.com/search?q=watermelon+baby&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari#imgrc=g5FFfZOXvbPpyM%3A

    Luvvie’s photo looks like the baby is slowly drowning in watermelon juice.

    • Eve Tey
      July 9, 2015 at 7:25 pm

      So they took that Pinterest FAIL to the party anyway lol

  4. July 9, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    Oh my life. I have cried and wet myself all at once. There is not one sentence on this post that is not hilarious. Love it. What an amazing community of funny ass people inspired and overseen by the awesomely Luvvie!

  5. s.Introvert
    July 9, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    I rebuke this apocalyptic fruit basket whose eyes will burn sulfuric holes in the trash bag it will be disposed in.

  6. EB
    July 9, 2015 at 5:25 pm

    I am crying laughing at these comments. I getting light headed from the foolishness. Only two words come to mind when looking at the picture posted… EPIC FAIL It’s so bad it needs fireworks!!!! I can’t! Thank you for my 7 chuckles x 1,000,000. Whew!

  7. Natasha
    July 9, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    But why doesn’t it have a nose?

    And the person who brings something like that to MY baby shower is no longer my friend.

  8. notconvincedgranny
    July 10, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Ms. Patti once said old women give birth to old-looking babies. By extension of that corollary, from what hot, sweaty, tropical orifice did this scary fruit abomination spring? Is this how Punchy, the Hawaiian Punch mascot looked as a baby?

  9. jimmy
    July 10, 2015 at 10:41 pm

    Why can’t we just have food that looks like the food it is? No I don’t want a cake that looks like a hamburger, a purse, a foot, some fruit, none of that crap. And don’t get me started on the watermelon carvings because that is a waste of that sweet deliciousness. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. You want to serve me some FRESH fruit, cool, but I ain’t eating your fruit baby. What were they saying at the shower- oh Helen this baby tastes good. That’s wrong on so many levels. Keep that old ass rotten baby at your damn house. Don’t bring that shit out in public.

    • TotalTennisGeek
      August 1, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      “Oh Helen, this baby tastes good”? Stahpit!!!! LMFAO (you have embarrassed me in this restaurant – white people staring at me from everywhere!) Baaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahaaaaaaaa hahaha!!!!! Oh god my stomach hurts!!!!!

  10. Jabria
    July 12, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    But wait… there’s a pan of the exact same watermelon and cantaloupe right beside it. Is that thing just supposed to be decoration? Why in the name of all that is good would you waste perfectly good fruit to make that… that… THAT?

  11. SIPort
    July 13, 2015 at 9:54 am

    This is a Luvvie post that should come with a warning. I am so glad that I was not in the ‘quiet car’ of the train going to work this morning. Would have been kicked off.

    This is a Luvvie special – where not only Luvvie’s thoughts are hilarious, but the comments from her posters are OFF THE CHAIN.

    The Rosemary’s Baby line is the first thing that came to mind when I saw that picture. HOW could someone think that was ok to show at a BABY SHOWER.

    If it was a Halloween Party, ok.

    That was creepy as hell.

  12. SPeace
    July 13, 2015 at 10:16 am

    I’ve been wondering what happened to Caster’s last son who was turned into a White Walker. Mystery solved. *reaches in my purse to get my dragonglass*

    • SPeace
      July 13, 2015 at 10:19 am

      “Craster’s”…damn thing got me so befuddled I can’t type right…LOL

  13. Jill
    July 13, 2015 at 11:32 am

    Note to self: Don’t try to read Awesomlyluvvie.com and eat your lunch at the same time. I laughed so hard I choked and fell out my chair! I think I saw the light for a minute. Glad to be back.

  14. Dan
    July 17, 2015 at 9:29 am

    I sent a picture of this to a friend who is having a baby shower, asking “When is the baby shower?” She replied saying “NEVER, IF YOU’RE BRINGING THAT!!!!”

  15. MH
    August 1, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    The garter comment slayed me.

  16. howlingbanshee
    August 4, 2015 at 9:17 am

    My kid just asked if that was a LaLaLoopsie fruit thingie.

  17. Kelly1908
    September 3, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    This is rididulously funny!

  18. September 13, 2016 at 7:49 am
  19. AmandaG
    October 7, 2016 at 9:55 am

    I can’t! I had to stop reading halfway through because I’m silently crying and turning red from withholding my laughter and if my coworkers caught a glimpse of my face, they’d think I was going through something horrible.

    Too much!