Rio Won Olympics and Chicago’s Mad

So by now, you already heard that Rio won the 2016 Olympics. My poor city, Chicago was the first one eliminated. The Olympic Committee went: “I’m happy for you, Chicago & I’mo let you finish, but Rio had the BEST Olympic bid of ALL TIME! Oh, and 2016 DEEZ!!! Giggity, giggity!” *pelvic thrust*

So now, Chicago’s mad and he went at Rio. This is how their conversation went (in my head, anyway):

Rio: “Chicago, you mad, huh?”
Chicago: “Mad DEEZ, Rio!”

Chicago: “Rio??? That fool owes me $5! If I CATCH Rio in a dark alley, he gon get stole on, jo!”

Rio: “That negro Chicago is a straight HATER. He’s mad cuz I stole his prom date. He oughta just step his game up. Hating ass!”

Chicago: “Man tell that fool, Rio I’m done with him. Besides, I aint hating on that high HIV stat he got. What I gotta hate Rio fah?”

Rio: “While you talking bout me, Chicago. Go handle that violence problem you got. It ain’t cold in the D. It’s cold in the C!”

Chicago: “YO MAMA! Rio, you betta watch yo mouf ‘fo I fly over there and make some CHANGE outta you. You think you all’at now. PSHT!

Rio: “I ain’t scared of you, Chitown. BRING IT. Whatchu gon do? Blow me away with ur wind? I ain’t NEVER SCURRED!!!”

Chicago: “Rio, me amd my goons (aka Mayor Daley) gon come over there and mollywop you into 2016. Don’t play these bald-headed games with me!”

Rio: “At least I’mo be playing GAMES. I got these Olympics. What you got? An obese mayor and bad weather. KEEP THAT!”

Chicago: “Rio, you ain’t nothing but a jive turkey. I’mo have to go re-assess my life on top of the Sears Tower. *sobs*”

Rio: “Why’ont you congratulate, Chicago? I really needed this. I thought God had given up on me!!! *weeps*

Chicago: “Fine Rio! Congratulations on #HoShit Olympics 2016. I’mo just go do a world class *WALL SLIDE* on the Hancock Building now.”

Rio: “Aight then Chitown. I’mo pay you your $5 next week. I got Olympic monies on deck! *singing* Just got paid, Friday night…”

Chicago: “Until you right by me, Rio, every game you touch gon FAIL! You betta OWE ME BACK my monies! I needs it for LakeShore Drive!”

Rio: “Come on, Chitown. You KNOW I gotchu. Wanna go get some dranks later w/ Tokyo? He’s feeling kinda down too.”

Chicago: “Hmm… I’m in the mood for sushi. Yeah I’mo call my boy Tokyo. Don’t tell Madrid though. I’ont feel like hanging with him.”

See? They’re buddies again.

I’m dumb.

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1 Comment

  1. Julio
    September 15, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    I just wanted to say that, late as it may be (found your blogs recently), I loved this post.

    I’m from Rio (not living there now) and I’ve been to Chicago last month (actually stayed at LakeShore Drive). Yours is a beautiful city – actually reminded me of Rio in some ways. Better luck next time.

    And if you ever come to Brazil (maybe for the Olympics), give me a shout ok?