The Drake vs. Meek Mill Beef is a Lesson in Failing Successfully

It’s been about two weeks at this point, since the Meek Mill vs. Drake beef has been happening. In case you’re wondering “What is a Meek Mill?” or “Where can I get a Drake?” it’s ok. They’re both rappers. One of them used to resemble Lumiere the candlestick from Beauty and the Beast but he recently got a beard and sneak became fine when we weren’t looking and I don’t understand.

So this beef started because Meek was in his feelings that Drake didn’t tweet a link to his mixtape and he dropped a series of tweets that I bet he regrets now. This started it:

Mashable actually has a deeper explanation of the beef. Go there. Antywho, this has led to both of them coming out with a series of diss records against each other.

Long story short: Meek’s weak ass disses to Drake has rendered him the loser here. Here’s the thing. If you start a fight, you better be able to lay them paws correctly because when you lose, not only will people laugh at you for getting your ass whooped but you get clowned for starting it in the first place. He came so hard just to land so soft.

The entire internets has let him have it! There’s so many memes, lawd! There’s even a video of Kanye West, Drake and Will Smith cackling at some of them. Talk about peak embarrassment. At this point, Meek Mill gon mess around and lose Nicki Minaj as his bae because she’ll be too embarrassed to claim him in public after this beef debacle. Bless his heart. “Do you know him?” Nicki: “Who? That guy? Umm no I don’t.”

So last week, I stumbled upon a program for Meek Mill’s career fune and I hollered like a banshee. I don’t know who made it but whoever it was blessed us all, because this is pure gold.

“He gave his best but no one understood what he was talking about.” LMAO! When I tell you I laughed for a full 10 minutes, I MEAN IT.

I dropped this on the Awesomely Luvvie Facebook fan page and the comments bouta killed me dead.

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“Meek is gonna be on Unsung next week…lol” – AS

“I think we should find Bone Thugs to sing “Crossroads”. – DL

“Somebody on twitter said Meek losing more than Job in the bible.” – AA

“It’s only fitting that a singer with a career that’s gone to glory sings at the fune. Anybody got Mariah’s number?” – TJ

“I suggest Boyz II Men to perform ‘End of the Road’” – MM

“Meek gonna be outside the next BET Awards with Keyshia Cole’s selling fish plates!!!!!” – EJ

“Meek got AOL 2.0, the dial up…… free trial version. He was in the middle of making sense in his “diss” then somebody called the house phone. Leave him alone.” – AJ

“The funny thing is, for the folks talking about how much better Meek is than Drake, that freestyle was the time to prove it. HE WAITED A WEEK just to holler/mumble that garbage! You had ONE JOB sir!” – SH

“Sister Rachel Dolezal said she gonna make the Tater Salad!” – LL

“I nominate Brother Ice JJ Fish to sing Sarah Mclaughlin’s In The Arms Of The Angels at the service… While pictures of sad puppies play on a screen behind him… Since no one could find any career highlight clips of Meek.” – JB

“Who’s Meek Mills?!?!” – GP

“I need Jazmine Sullivan to do brother Mills some charity, because only her voice could possibly express the pain of being oh so close, yet oh.so.far….” – LM

“Luvvie, I heard Mama Dee booked a solo for the fune. “I Deserve-The Remix” will be performed during the processional. I deserve. I deserve. I deserve…this shit.” – CS

“Meek going to to be on VH1’s “Where are they now” 20th Anniversary Edition next week. That nigga is going to be at Starbucks working with Vin Baker smh” – ZJ

“Have New Edition sing “is this the end” follow by Boys II Men it’s so hard to say good-bye”….I can go on lol” – DR

“I vote Joseline Hernandez sing at the fune!! I think Stingy with the Cootie Cat is fitting because it’ll make no sense just like Meek’s Buttercup line!!” – SJ

“Meek Mill is going to come out the casket look Oooh Wait A Minute….Yall thought I was finish?” – AN

“Bishop Kendrick Lamar gon officiate the service and render us his eulogy ???? followed by a AB selection from the first hoodnited baptist chuch choir….” – KL

“I’m gonna miss Meeki Minaj” – SB

“Smh.. And right b4 his bday so tragic, po lil tink tink… It’s so haaaard to saay good bye to yesterdaaaaaay!! And I taaaake with me the memories, to be my sunshine after the raaaaain!!” – CS

“True story…Everyone was saying Oh Meek a battle rapper..He gonna kill it…I hit play to listen and..Ya he done…lmfao” – PD

“Slow singing & flower bringing. The whole scene was just #dreadful. ????” – RR

“Who can sing these days? Is Beyonce still available? Rihana? Or maybe, Chris brown? The “fune” got to look good! I got this bad ass black back out outfit I wanna wear! Im coming to catch!” – AB

“I would like this to be the casket spray for meek’s career’s memorial
Ps-if I gotta pay for the casket spray I ain’t signing up to bring food for the settin up ????????” – CL

“2 minute limit on remarks. Baby mothers are guaranteed to cut up and fake faint. There will be an optional alter call at the end.” – SS

“Eddie Kang jr. Needs to sing “Nights like this” wearing the same gold vest from the alley scene. #5heartbeats” – SW

“Someone on Twitter stated “May Meekisha Mills RIP” and I died. If there had been a picture with a quick weave I would’ve flatlined. Bye.” – MB

“Just get drake to sing at the funeral. Finish meek off once and for good.” – JR

“Gone have Rachel Dolezal give a speech at Meek’s funeral.” – TM

“I’m singing Going Up Yonder” – JJ

“My grandma called me this morning as said “you know somebody named Meek mills” I said “yes what’s wrong” she said “he died this morning” lol lol lol” – KD

“I just want to know who is bringing the Mac&Cheese to the repass…you know you can’t eat everyone’s Mac&Cheese” – NN

“I vote for twista. can’t understand him either, BUT, he knows a thing or two about short ass careers.” – JM

“I’m an interpreter FOR A LIVING and I couldn’t decipher that mess.” – AL

“Truly sad…he was so young…ima bring a case of Chek sodas & Churches Chicken to the repass tho!!” – TQ

“Anybody seen my ‘In The Upper Room’ robe? I’m going with Miss Nikki and Iggy. I’m fixin to sang” – GM

“Crazy Meek Been Rappin 12 Years & I Only Respect 1 Song He Made & That Was Ambition All His Other Shit Sound The Same He Shoulda Been Died & Had Wale Sing At His Funeral” – TN

“Someone should be the ULTIMATE in petty and play “Amen” while folks are entering the service . A girl can dream…” – SH

“Meek, Sesame Street said Elmo raps better than you..” – SC

“I never heard a song from meek milli but I am going to hold out hope that he and Young Money are getting their words together for a come back. When Nikki has a moment from her tour, she will sit down and help him with his homework assignment.” – AT

“We waited a WEEK Mill…. and that shit was WEAK Mill!!” – CB

“I guess the “Meek” won’t inherit the Earth! #whodatanyway #justgimmeoldschool” – HB

“When White Castle is dissin’ you, you’re done.” – CC

“After all of this I still cannot name a single Meek Mills song…” – AW

“Is the group that sing “Gangsta Lean” still available?” – AM

“I didn’t even know what Mills was talking about. It’s almost as if he had a brain fart in the middle of verse. Lmao po’ tink tink.” – TD

“An emotional rapper (drake) just murdered a battle rapper’s (meek mill) career….damn” – PR

I’ll bring the pickled pigs feet and the good cornbread made from the jiffy box to the repast. SOMEBODY else gon’ need to make the greens. I ain’t for doing all that cleaning and soaking and shat when I gotta make sure I have enough #PowdaDeBaybay to stay dry at the fune. You know the A/C ain’t been workin since Reb’bn Jenkins ran off with the church building fund money. – TNO

“Wooooooooooooooooow! How can you have the number one rap album for two weeks, and in a few days, loose a rap beef and your woman ??? Damn Meek … Sometimes you gotta know when to shut the fuck up, and enjoy your life.” – BS

“Tamela Mann should sing Take me to the King…with the backdrop being a huge pic of Drake in all his light skin glory.” – SM

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But for real. Who gon make the tater salad? I vote for Auntie Patti LaBelle. She looks like she can THROW DOWN. I’d trust hers.

The moral of this story is: Meek shoulda just STFU. Don’t come for someone when they ain’t send for you, especially if you can’t back it up with epic reads.

 

Thank you to Kim Weathersby for helping me compile this mass foolishness!