George Zimmerman Was Shot in the Face A Little. Because: Monday
George Zimmerman in another altercation that police were called to. We like to call this special occasion “Monday.” That man gets in more trouble than New York rats get on the subway and he doesn’t ever see lock up. His life is clearly on some “Final Destination: Prison For Life” shit.
The latest is that today, he was shot in the face a little bit. I say a little because they said injuries were minor. I won’t lie. I was disappointed. My hate for this dude is more intense than 1,000 African suns at high noon in an area with no shade in the July.
HOW DO YOU GET SHOT IN THE FACE AND INJURIES ARE MINOR? How, Sway??? Only Zimmerman the Human Rubber Pellet. He’s like a toddler who doesn’t want you to carry him, so they go limp and there’s no way you can get a handle on them so they just slide to the floor.
Nothing sticks on the dude. Bullets, charges… BUT here’s the thing. He is in constant turmoil, chaos and conflict. Even though he walks away from shit, the dude cannot have nice things. Somebody’s Granny has put some juju on George and he don’t even know it. He killed a boy, walked away free, made money from it and thought he was gonna prosper. NO MA’AM. NO SAM. NO BOB. That is not how this is gonna go.
That man will NEVER know peace. That is obvious. Peace is all “Who is George Zimmerman? No, I don’t know him.” I called Peace to ask it further questions of this waterhead ass delinquent ass up to no good ass dude. I got its voicemail.
All I know is, whenever George Zimmerman dies, the devil will be on the other side like:
Breaking news: Peace called me back and said it is insulted that we’d even think it would want to have anything to do with George. Welp. Everything he thinks about is gon fail. Everything he touch gon crumble. He is the reason for all the world’s petty prayers.