George Zimmerman Wants to be Superman And I’m Not Buying It
Man, look. Folks (ABC, CNN and ’em) are reporting that George Zimmerman saved a family last week when their truck overturned on a highway last week. Apparently, a family of four were trapped in their SUV when Porky Pig and another fella came outta nowhere to rescue them. DUN DUN DUN!!! HEROES!
Except no. I’m not sipping this kool-aid. You’re not a hero in any shape or form when you kill an unarmed teenager. Zimmerman is outchea for real tryna be Superman so bad. Saving the world from teenagers in hoodies and all that. GTFOH!!
The same mofo who supposedly couldn’t fight off a 150-lb teenager is outchea lifting trucks like he’s Mr. Incredible. NOPE! And this dude is supposed to be “hiding” and the crash scene was less than a mile away from where he murdered Trayvon Martin. Who hides around the corner from their house? You ain’t hiding at that point. You’re just walking to the bodega when the street is empty. That ain’t hiding.
Girl BYE! I don’t care if it’s on clearance. I AIN’T BUYING IT! Someone gotta show me some receipts because NAWL!
I think what really happened is that George Zimmerman hired Olivia Pope so she got Huck to stage a car accident. The woman he “saved” was Quinn.
This is a damb PR stunt to get folks to think ol’ Neckless Nick is a good guy. NOPE. NAWL. NAY! Not happening. I don’t care if he combs the fur of every dog in the U.S. 1,000 times, he still ain’t shit. I don’t give a good gahtdamb if he makes student loan forgiveness happen. I’ma still wanna dropkick him in his medula and wish a lifetime of atomic wedgies on him.
I hope he gets a papercut and someone dips his hand in rubbing alcohol.
All I want George Zimmerman to do is go locate his neck from where he left it. Walking around these parts looking like his chin chafes his chest. He needs to go sit his ass down somewhere and quit living out Super Mario and comic book fantasies of saving folks. He better go buy an XBOX and stop walking around thinking the world needs him to rescue everyone. Fuck him, his hero complex and the horse he rode in on. He can go to hell with gasoline drawers on.
YEAH I HOLD GRUDGES!
You buying this story or what?
P.S. I’m disappointed that y’all haven’t kicked off a #HeroicZimmerman hashtag yet on Twitter.
Why did the chicken cross the road? B/c George Zimmerman wanted to save it from Popeyes. #HeroicZimmerman
— Awesomely Luvvie (@Luvvie) July 22, 2013