Happy Thanksgiving! Whose Abomination Turkey is This?
I’m thankful for so much. A transformative year with showers of blessings, awesome friends and family and living and working with passion. I am also thankful for the Cookingforbae for showing me your struggle plates as well as my crappy T-mobile service for delaying the mass “Happy Thanksgiving” texts from phone numbers I don’t recognize.
With that out of the way, can we talk about this turkey that @SynKami dropped in my Twitter timeline? She found a pic of someone’s abomination bird and I had to come in here to roast whoever OVER-ROASTED this turkey.
WHAT IN ALL THAT IS GOOD, EDIBLE AND HOLY IS THIS?!? Why is this turkey looking like a thestral from Harry Potter? Remember them black horses that were only visible to people who had seen death? Who had to die for this turkey to live?!? Luna Lovegood is somewhere giving the tale of how she got to be able to see this bird.
Also, how do you burn a turkey to the point where it looks like the batmobile? I’m expecting Bruce Wayne to come out the thigh and try to save Gotham kitchen. What is WRONG with yall? If you can’t cook, you better order out, go to a friend’s house or just babysit the kids til the grown ups are done. This ain’t e’em right! Folks gotta know their limitations outchea.
That oven’s temperature was set to “TURN DOWN FO WHAT” Degrees Fahrenheit. Just complete fail. I bet the people who came to eat were MAD AS HELL!!!
they set that oven to 'Akon' RT @Luvvie: Why does that turkey look like the batmobile? Who burned that bird like that???
— Kibbles 'n Tits (@such_A_frknlady) November 28, 2013
That turkey is dressed like Martin Lawrence in his “You So Crazy” stand up special. All black leather everything. I bet I could make a bad ass belt from that turkey’s skin. Doggone bird got painted with the same thing Jermaine Jackson uses for his hair. I AIN’T GOT TAHM!!
By the way, have you seen the new dishes on @CookingforBae today? This is like cooking Christmas. Everyone thinks their dish is what’s hot but most of them look like despair, bitterness and denial. Chile:
Whooo, I cannot. So I ask. Whose turkey is this? And why won’t yall stop cooking for bae? Bae is gon get food poisoning from your love in food form. If cooking is not your ministry, stay out the damb kitchen!