The Worst Person Ever and the Scorned Never Ex: Dating Fails
Many people are single because they want to be and others haven’t found THE ONE or ONES (hey, roll like you want). But many are single because they’re self-absorbed douchebags who can’t have nice things because they don’t know how to behave like decent human beings. Long story short: it’s easy to see why some people are forever alone.
There are TWO people that have recently won the prize for “You will die with cobwebs in your nether regions because you’re both assholes.” Let’s get into it.
First there’s a dude who goes by Romeo Rose. His real name is
Asshat McDickwad Larry Busby, and he’s a wedding photographer in Austin. He wants a girlfriend so bad that he is willing to pay someone $1,500 to help him find one. And he has a long list of requests for whoever he dates. Gawker has the highlights of his requests:
“I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.”
“I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl.”
“I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.”
“I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.”
“I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.”
Anddd these are the NICE things he said. He goes on to say such gems as:
“Furthermore, I do not believe homosexuals should be allowed to teach in schools or hold any type of job in which they have any type of interactions with children in which they could leave a false impression that homosexuality is ok on their young minds.”
This is just so dumb that the word dumb is mad as hell at me for bringing it into this situation.
Looooonnnngggg story short, this guy is just the most awful specimen. He’s ever “ist” you can think of. Either that, or we’re all being royally trolled. In fact, I’ll believe the latter just so I can sleep better. Oh and the beauty in all this is that Romeo looks like this:
He got his nerve to look like the living embodiment of athlete’s foot and gangrene. I don’t have the TAHM nor patience! How do you look like a horror movie villain WITHOUT the need for makeup and be this choosy and racist and chauvinistic and just a terrible human being? If you look like this, you need to be so charming that every time you open your mouth, glitter, tax credits and life’s secrets fall out.
Got the face for radio and the teeth for digging and wants to be choosy. NO SIR! Get the ENTIRE hell up outta dodge.
Chile, BYE! He ain’t got the right or the privilege!
Him and his refrigerator-sized veneers need to have an everlasting seat some damb where. He reminds me of TEEF KEEF aka TOOTHER VANDROSS (if you click that link, you will CRY laughing. Do not do it while you’re at work because I WILL NOT be responsible for you getting fired).
Again, I think Romeo created a gimmick to get attention and troll us all. He deserves ALLLLL the ridicule. Ugh.
But in the second dating fail of the week, we have Quinn Woodward Pu, a blogger who went on a couple of dates with some dude.
After a couple of dates, he sent her a text that said:
“I had fun on Sat but quite honestly I am in a state of flux right now and am really not looking for a relationship. Sorry to be a downer before your birthday but I have no doubt you’ll move on quickly as you are a funny, smart, cool girl! Good luck.”
Now homeboy thinks VERY highly of himself to assume she’s looking for a relationship with him after two dates. He must think he’s the bee’s knees and the crocodile’s teeth. Bless his heart. HOWEVER, what Quinn did next is what I’d like to call “the most with the least.”
She decides to shame the dude on her blog by posting their text exchange to show how little she cares about him and how much she loves being single and how ridiculous he was. AND she sent their sexting screenshots to his bosses!!! Props to Jezebel.
Then she went on her blog to call the dude misogynistic and chauvinistic, as if she just learned two new big words she just HAD to use!
COMME DES FUCKON, LADY!!! Seriously?? All this because he text you that he didn’t wanna pursue a relationship? Yes, he was being presumptuous to think you wanted his ass but it wasn’t e’em THAT DEEP!
This is a punk move on her part. Ma’am, you’re clearly saltier than the ocean and I request that you tuck that shit in and DEAL.
My goodness. I’m not a fan of text breakups because they’re immature and stupid. Call some damb body if you’re done with them. That’s common courtesy. However, this chick took her scorn to a new level. It’s so blown out of proportion that the Incredible Hulk is somewhere like “yo, you gotta chill.”
And what makes it even more side-eye worthy is that Quinn’s blogpost on this is how she thinks she’s helping womankind by being a petty, scorned never ex. Talmbout “May I (and you, and your girlfriends, moms, grandmothers, daughters, etc.) never remain silent in the bombastic, outrageously chauvinistic face of an insecure man.” Girl STFU, doe!
Romeo and Quinn gotta go find some damb hobbies and sense. This is why n’an one of them can have nice things. Because they’re both awful. However, some poor unfortunate souls will probably date them. Because: desperation.
So what do you think about these two? Do you think Quinn was right to react like that? Also, what specimen does Romeo look like to you?
I ain’t gon lie. I’m EXTRA looking forward to your comments on this.