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President Obama Came to Win and Mitt Romney Came to Whine: Debate Recap

The debates from last night was highly anticipated since the last one had President Barack Obama looking hella bored and Mitt Romney being loud but saying nothing of substance. Folks were ready to see Barack come through this time with more passion and he didn’t disappoint. It was a bit confrontational though and that part has my nerves all bad. Ennehweighs, let’s get into it.

The moderator was Candy Crowley from CNN and she came through with her high shoulder pads action, getting her Dorothy Sbornak swag on. She didn’t look like someone to mess with. I wondered if she could keep the men in check like Martha “I’m Bout that Life” Raddatz did with Joe Biden and Paul Ryan last week.

Candy Crowley Debate

The format of the debate was townhall style, with questions coming from an audience of supposedly undecided voters. Although, Iunno what you’re still undecided about 3 weeks before election day but whatevs (-_-). When Candy introduced them, President Obama came out strutting like “I got this.” And Mitt. Well, he let go of that Jersey Shore tan of his so good for him!

The candidates sat on stools, and when it was their turn to speak, they’d get up and walk towards the audience. This was incredibly awkward because sometimes, both the President and Romney would get too close to the audience. At one point, I thought they were gonna crowd surf. Or they’d put their paws on each other. Either way, I was nervous.

When the debate started, it was clear that both Barack and Mitt were like “I am not playing games.” However, out the GATE, the President let us know he wasn’t gon stand (or sit) for Mitt’s lies this time around.¬†Mitt kept talmbout his 5-point plan that NO ONE knows about but him. The plan that I’m convinced he wrote in invisible ink. Barack said “Governor Romney doesn’t have a 5-point plan. He has a 1-point plan.” And I went OOP. Snatch that gradient wig of his then, sir!

Since no one knows what this plan of his is, I came up with my idea of it.

Mitt Romney's 5-point plan

There’s a website called RomneyTaxPlan.com where you try to click “get the details” and the button runs away. I spent WAY too much time on there yesterday. That site wins the internet.

Throughout the debate, Mitt Romney was being disrespectful dinnamug. He spent the entire time interrupting and talking to the President of the United States like he was some common dude on the street. Listen here, Willard. I’ont care if he IS your opponent. He is the leader of the free world and you will show some damb respect. He also tried to check Candy and she had to put him in his place and told him to have a seat! WELP.

If women were undecided about who to vote for, last night should tell you it shouldn’t be Mitt Romney. He kept digging himself into these massive holes. The question of equal pay came up and he somehow talked his way into saying how he once asked for help finding qualified women and they brought him “whole binders full of women.” I was disappointed that they weren’t Trapper Keepers full of women. O__O

In Mitt’s debate tradition of putting his foot in his mouth and being the butt of jokes for days after, he has created the newest internet meme. Binders Full of Women Tumblr now exists and so does a Binders Full of Women Facebook page that now has over 300,000 likes. The Tumblr has brought us these 2 gems and SO MANY MORE!

WIN and WIN.

Almost as hilarious as side-eye worthy as this was the ONE Black man in the audience. This isn’t a surprise though because there aren’t that many undecided Black voters. I figured they needed a token in the room so it was cool. Until he got up to ask the dumbest question of the night. One Black Man stood up to talk about how he’s had a tough 4 years and how things are expensive and wondering what the President is gonna do about it. He did it while fumbling and bumbling like his name was Bubba Gump. Sir, if you’re gonna be the only person of deep color in the room, I’ma need you to come correct, not ask some raggelly question. Why was your 4 years tough? Did you try LinkedIn? I’m wondering. (-__-)

One black man at debates

I thought they evicted everyone from Uncle Tom’s cabin (-___-). WOMP!

* I wanna take this time to shoutout President Obama for throwing shade ALL night at Mitt Romney. Some of it wasn’t e’em shade as much as slapping him with words. Throwing shade like thr pro he is!!!

“Very little of what Governor. Romney said is true.”

“I don’t look at my pension. It’s not as big as yours.”

“George Bush didn’t propose turning medicare into a voucher.”

“Governor, you’re the LAST person who’s gonna get tough on China.”

But my FAVORITE of the night was when Mitt Romney thought he had backed the President into the corner. He was talmbout the President took 14 days to call the attack on the Benghazi Consulate an “act of terror.” The President said he called it that the next day and Mitt smugly asked Candy to verify this.

Barack replied with “get the transcript.”

Get the transcripts

That was the Oval Office way of saying “Candy, please show this fool some receipts.” And Mitt was proven wrong and I got my LIFE. How many times can one person put his feet in his mouth in 90 minutes? MANY TIMES!

Mitt Romney must have some personal beef with China because he kept bringing them up. Did they pull his hair and give him a wedgie in the 7th grade? Why’s he so touched?

Candy held her own, though. There were a coupla times when they tried to punk her but she wasn’t having it.

I did love that the President got the last word in and that made me do a jig. He said what he had to say and closed the night out. I’m sure Joe Biden was at home proud. Talmbout:

Turn my swag on joe biden gif

The President was the clear winner last night because Mitt Romney kept on getting caught in lies. AND he came across as a sexist spoiled brat who can’t follow rules.

P.S. I peeped Michelle Obama’s hair when she came and hugged Barack after the debates. LAIDT like the Dream Act. And iLIVE!

So whatcha think of the debates?

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  1. Krystlekleer
    October 17, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Why oh why didn’t I have my inhaler hot and ready when I read this. Run to the light Carol Anne… run to the light!

    • Michelle
      October 17, 2012 at 9:05 pm

      IN LOVE with the “Poltergeist” reference!!! I thought I was the only one who said this!

    • October 17, 2012 at 10:09 pm

      Don’t go towards the light! The light is NOT your friend!

  2. October 17, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    that “turn my swag on” gif tho -_______-

    Great recap Luvvie!

    • October 17, 2012 at 10:28 pm

      Thanks, Laura!

  3. AshBash
    October 17, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    ion really have much to say… but I’ve NEVA been this close to the top on one your posts!! lol

    i had to relisten to the debate today… i must say i felt like POTUS was ready to box a couple times…

    i got tickled

    • For These Reasons
      October 17, 2012 at 10:14 pm

      But wayment…did you see that look he gave!?!? That “Don’t you EVAH…Never again in yo LIFE…disrespect me and mine. I run this sh!t. Muthasucka.”

    • October 17, 2012 at 10:28 pm

      Yeah he looked like he wanted to bop Mitt in the shoulder a coupla times.

  4. MsZ
    October 17, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Girl. Everything you said on here? TRUTH! I’m back here at my desk covering my mouth like Ms Celie tryin not to laugh out loud!!!

    • October 17, 2012 at 9:56 pm

      You laughing like Ms Celie when she was at Harpo’s juke joint?

  5. Sadiqua
    October 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    Michelle looked all types of lovely in that #fewsha…and lets not forget the ultimate wig snatch of the night…Obama saving the 47% remark for the very end when Romney couldnt get up and respond. You, sir, just got served like a Mormon casserole at Christmas.

    • October 17, 2012 at 9:55 pm

      Ok I’m loving #fewsha. I thought she looked divine in that nice pinque too.

  6. Sadiqua
    October 17, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Wayment. I forgot what i mentioned on twitter…That Bali Girl wig from Freetress in color 3t613, planted on Candy Crawley’s head. I wonder if she did a tutorial on how to put it on?

    • Tonia
      October 17, 2012 at 6:20 pm

      No ma’am…not the Bali Girl….Bwaaahaaaa!!!

    • October 17, 2012 at 9:49 pm


  7. Ambar
    October 17, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    Romney was beyond rude. I wanted Secret Service to come in and taser his ass. But that part about the pension had me laughing so hard. I like how Obama was able to put him down while never being as rude and unprofessional as Romney was. Overall he was effective, straight to the point and classy. Romney thinks because he interrupts people and is the loudest that makes him a competent politician. That just makes him a typical American stereotype (aka what all foreigners think of us) which is loud, obnoxious and rude. When a person is loud and rude in order to state their point that means they do not have one.

    • October 17, 2012 at 9:47 pm

      Romney thinks being the loudest is the game they’re playing. He just comes off as obnoxious.

  8. Charlotte
    October 17, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    My favorite part was when Candy Crowley told Mitt to sit down. I was like “Yes, have a seat, sir!”

    • October 17, 2012 at 9:45 pm

      I loved that!

  9. AnaB
    October 17, 2012 at 6:01 pm
    • October 17, 2012 at 9:42 pm

      YESSSS!!! I’ve loved Rosie Perez for a long time. I love her more now.

      • Saitonne
        October 18, 2012 at 1:20 am

        Have you seen the Mitt Romney game sooooo Hilarious!!

        • vanitaapplebum
          October 18, 2012 at 12:11 pm

          OMG!! why did I just spend 10 mins on this game!! HOWLING!!

          yall gone get me fired.

        • TeeNikki
          October 19, 2012 at 6:40 am

          You need yo butt whooped for posting that link!! #slain #couldn’tcatchnonelikeSmitty

  10. Kishan
    October 17, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Mitt got binders full of malarkey…

  11. For These Reasons
    October 17, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    So…I chuckled a little toooo hard about that website — and I went looking for it. (I tried your link, but apparently there is no “s” it is just RomneyTaxPlan.com)

    But you right, though…winning the WHOLE DAMB THANG!!

  12. Charlotte
    October 17, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    Did anyone see the tweet about Romney having to practice how to sit on a stool because he’d never sat on one before? It came from someone who works at CNN. I hollered.

  13. October 17, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    I am living for that GIF of the President telling R.Money to check the transcript. If looks could kill Mittens would be under the jail right now.

  14. Raj
    October 18, 2012 at 1:50 am

    How sad that you view the whole Benghazi “act of terror” debacle as a win for Obama. He was lying out of his ass and Crowley was wrong: she said as much later on CNN, but of course the won’t be seen. He was not referring to Libya when he used that phrase on 9/12 in the Rose Garden, and he knows it.

    • Chioma Oben
      October 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

      Yep. Jon Stewart commented on that fact as well. However, it’s still a “win” for Obama in a way, politricks my dear.