Phenomenal Binder, That’s Me: A Poem

When I try to explain to people that I’m not the most ratchet of my friends, they always give me the side-eye. But for realsies. I have some type of foolery magnet and it brings fellow senseless people into my life and I love it.

My girl Kellee (@KHough09), decided to write a poem about women in binders from Mitt Romney’s gaffe at the presidential debates. She’s paying #amish to Mother Maya Angelou and here it is. Y’all give it up for this POETRESS! O_O

Phenomenal Binder, That’s Me

Bigger binders wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not tall enough at all for 11×14 size.
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in my front pocket
And the one in the rear
The reinforced metal socket
The cover that’s clear
I’m a binder
Phenomenal binder,
That’s me.

Women in binders

From http://bindersfullofwomen.tumblr.com

I’m stored up on the shelf
Just as cool as you please
And for a band
On music stands
Or placed atop their knees.
Choir kids swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the 3 rings that hold
All the music they read
You just can’t deny
I’m their basic need
I’m a binder.
Phenomenal Binder,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s because I’m so convenient
Because I hold so much
You can find me in your backpack
with just the slightest touch.
I’m a binder.
Phenomenal Binder,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my cover’s not bent.
Don’t need a lock or special box
to protect important contents.
When you fill me up with women
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my rings
The bend of my spine
The dividers I hold
My color, so divine.
‘Cause I’m a binder.
Phenomenal binder,
That’s me.


*snaps my fingers and hits a bongo* iCackled and howled and quit her for a good 5 minutes. She is a fool. Now if I could only convince her to record this poem.

Follow Kellee on Twitter at @Khough09. We just peer-pressured her into joining last night because her ratchetness needs to be seen by the masses.

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  1. Ra
    October 17, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!! Not Phenomenal BINDER. No no no…. I now fear… that I shall not live a second longer… LMAO!!!!!!!

    • October 17, 2012 at 10:33 pm

      I will wear some nice dyeable slingbacks to your funegro.

  2. Charlotte
    October 17, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    And still I rise with laughter.

    • October 17, 2012 at 3:38 pm


    • October 17, 2012 at 10:32 pm


  3. October 17, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    *dead* Totally *dead* I quit ya’ll. For 30 seconds.

    • October 17, 2012 at 10:32 pm

      You’ll be back, doe! lol

  4. Jenna
    October 17, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    I love her so, but hate her so much right now! LMBO

  5. aStatesman
    October 17, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Why did I read this in the Maya Angelou raspy voice!? I laughed so hard, I emailed this to my entire office. LOL I sense a sequel…”I rise (to a zip drive)”.

    • October 17, 2012 at 10:28 pm

      YESSS!!! I’d love a sequel. In fact, I’m tryna make her do a vocal recording.

  6. Dee
    October 17, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    -stands up to shout & snaps furiously- YES!!!!

    I am in tears!

  7. October 17, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    *Crawls into casket*

  8. NSmithShaw
    October 17, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Just FLATLINED ________________________________!!!!! I love it!!! LOL

  9. October 17, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    *gives up on life…buries self in pretty binder*

    • October 17, 2012 at 10:09 pm

      I’ll get you pretty folders.

  10. Tonia
    October 17, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    This right here is pure de genius!!!!

  11. October 17, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    and following … any fool, i mean friend in ratchetry of yours, is a friend in ratchetry of mine!

    • October 17, 2012 at 9:26 pm

      Yes. You’ll love her.

  12. Rachael
    October 17, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    Why did I read this in my 6 yr old daughters voice?! LMFAOOOOOOOO I QUIT!!

    • Ra
      October 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

      Ha!!! All i saw was janet jackson in poetic justice with those braids and justice cap lolol. Janet has now become the face of “binders of women” in my head

  13. Dominique
    October 19, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    I read the first 2 lines and had to go take a break! LMAOOOOOOOO! I CAN’T!