Dontchu Hear Me Calling You, Miss Honay?

On the day I seent this vidjo, my life changed for the better. I proceeded to watch it no less than 20 times. And I cried laughing each time. My ace boon, Kiarri et moi watched it and DAHD together. Our conversation about it via gchat is below (this was originally written on 3/2/2009 and posted on our abandoned group blog). Moi Rene was everything!

Luvvie: First of all, the white-green lipstick is jarring

LibraSong: wait – why does she come on with a growl at the very beginning?

Luvvie: I know right? And I think thing 1 and thing 2 in the back almost steal the show. Their hardcore “choreography” is off the chain.

LibraSong: don’tchuhearmecalliiiiingu?

Luvvie: and something tells me thing 1 (dude in the red) is the one who choreographed

LibraSong: and them neon fishing vests ain’t catchin’ NO fish!

Luvvie: he looks too proud like “Yes. Hit it. Give them life. Work!”

Luvvie: Hahahahaha them some cross color exclusives. lookin like some traffic management fools

LibraSong: honestly, she reminds me of Chris tucker from “the fifth element”

Luvvie: bwahahaha got me perplexed. The cut out spandex outfit? with jus the right amount of shoulder? Killing!

LibraSong: looks like a couture design from the set of poltergeist

Luvvie: Looking like a hood wicked witch of the west. I’m expecting her to start melting at any time

LibraSong: Who are these audience members???? And why is the host UBER creepy?

Luvvie: the host is probably thinking “damn. so much for a journalism career”

Luvvie: Miss Honey’s makeup contoured nose really has me done

LibraSong: don’tchuhearmecalliiiiingu?

Luvvie: Miss Honey heard you calling, but the bitch ran when she saw you and your posse of dancing queens

LibraSong: LOL! Comin’ down the street with lil bitty ass sways and lite brite game hunting vests

Luvvie: I watch it AT LEAST once a day to bring my spirits up

LibraSong: it is recorded comedy from every angle

Luvvie: EVERY. and what year was that shot? I bet you it first appeared on channel 19, the public access channel

LibraSong: oooh! that’s a damn good question! yopp!

Luvvie: they let you have it to show anythin for a measly $35 an hour or so.

Luvvie: “here I am I’m feeling FFFIIIEEERRRCCCEEE” bwahahahahaha

LibraSong: yopp you right!!! note my fifth grade ‘hood use of YOPP

Luvvie: I dig yoppp. we must bring it back in our everyday lexicon

Luvvie: “Where’s the bitch she got some nerve” bwahahaha

LibraSong: LMAO!!!!! and “thebitchknewthatidbeback!!!” = iDied

Luvvie: “the bitch knew that I’d be back” always got me DYING!

Luvvie: ROTF @ the end where they juke

LibraSong: LMAO when they break it down?!?!?

Luvvie: thing 1 and thing 2 are doing it. DO YOU HEAR ME?

LibraSong: and then they start smiling and giggling and the what not?!

Luvvie: lmao at thing 2’s dip and shimmy. yeah 3:11 – 3:24 are jus bout the best 13 secs EVER

Luvvie: lol When they made that juke sandwich…THAT is when I ordered my tombstone. epitaph: she came (to youtube), she saw (these fools), she conquered (her fear of death)

LibraSong: yeah, yeah – pretty murrrch

Luvvie: I think I wanna make it my ringtone so when folks call, I’d hear “dont chu hear me calling you, miss honay?”

Luvvie: I don watched it like 4 times in a row and I’m CRYING

LibraSong: when she whispers “miss honey”?!

Luvvie: and when she starts whispering “miss honey…” all lustfully and whatnot, I just bout passed out. And the cheese that followed the whisper with the head/wig shake?? iCant. LMAO!!

LibraSong: and then whips her head side to side like a bizarro world marge simpson???

Luvvie: hahahaha YESSSS Marge indeed. Her beehive is “hairspray” proper. tracy turnblad is somewhere JEALOUS

LibraSong: she is upSET, do you hear me??

Luvvie: lmao. unlike miss honey, yes I do

LibraSong: don’t you hear me TELLING you? don’t you hear me TELLING you?!

Luvvie: I been singin to my niece “dontchu hear me callin you, miss kami???” (she’s 10 months, btw). She’s just as amused as I am by the whole thing

LibraSong: LMAO!!!!! Leave that baby alone!

Luvvie: this video is MY LIFE. it changed me the day I saw it. SERIOUSLY made my lifespace better

LibraSong: LMAO it attacked my corneas

Luvvie: lmao. But really. How did the audience in there stay on their chairs? No one fell on the floor in laughter?? I call bullshit. I’da been hysterical in that studio

LibraSong: right! Like, inconsolable, let somebody take me into the hall, catch my breath and wipe my eyes hysterical

Luvvie: hahahaha I’da been “steal away to Jesus” hysterical. They’d have to get the church fan to cool me off

LibraSong: and the whole ursher board!

Luvvie: YESSS!! White gloves REST to go. *Sigh* awesome

LibraSong: sidebar: why do ushers wear white gloves? I mean, ALL of them? Is there a universal magician’s ministry I’m unfamiliar with??

Luvvie: maybe the ushers are direct descendants of mimes. But why white gloves though? Maybe it stands for purity? Sister O’Dell knows she done had 5 husbands. Aint nuthin pure bout her or Ophelia Jenkins, the assistant head usher

LibraSong: and O’Dell’s weddin’ dates don’t add up neitha…and Jenkins? I could tell u some things about that Jenkins that would have u turning to the books of Peter, Paul, AND Mary!!!

Luvvie: You forgot Matthew, Mark, Luke & John, We must get to the bottom of the white gloves

LibraSong: indeed we must! END sidebar

Luvvie: lol so yes. That is indeed the greatest 3 minutes of public access TV ever filmed. I dare someone to disagree.

*drops mic*

*dramatic exit*