Whose Sneaker Heel Mules Are These?

In case you ever dreamed of owning sneaker heel mules that don’t make any sense, there are now some Pumas that will make your dream come true. I present to you, the most confusing shoes I’ve seen in at least a year.

#WhyItHappenFathaGawd #BurnEmBoaz #EndThemEmmanuel. Anywho, I posted them on my Awesomely Luvvie facebook page and my people had a field day!

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Erika: Why not just fall down the stairs now and save $550?

Erika: They should call them Slip ‘n Slides!

Portia: I have broken my ankle before. I refuse to attempt to wear a product guaranteed to break my ankle. No, nope, HELL TO DA NOOOOOO!!!

Carrie: Kitty-heel level of devilry at work here!

Lynn: I like that peachy color, though; but those look like my feet would jump off of my body and beat me, then report me for abuse.

Melisa: It’s like bowling shoes walked into an “adult” store for a makeover then walked out like cash me ousside.

Cobie: As a connoisseur of both tennis shoes and heels it’s gonna be a No for me. But I can see somebodies Auntie @Essence this year in her all white linen suit or wrap a round sun dress thinking she effing the game up.

Laura: 1999 J-Lo called. She wants dem royalties.

Sai: These Victorian Era 11s can go.

Amanda: I’d break every ankle, blow out every knee, dislocate every hip and bust every inch of my fat ass and I’d probably do it behind a local TV reporter who had just gone live.

Heather: Am I the only one surprised it took this long for this to happen? Have they made Timberland peep-toes yet, cause you know that’s next.

Andrea: For the woman who said I want to be unstable in every aspect of my life – stupid heels that look like sneakers but don’t have a back. YES PLEASE. What? No.

Sharla-Elyn: I rebuke them in the name of fashion maven Dominique Devereaux!

Tiffany: Ri Ri is punking the entire refund checks out of chicks. First she puts out that Shower slipper with a satin bonnet wrapped around it and now this Jenny from the block Timberland heel version 2.No

Tamra: I rebuke these in the name of Nine West, DSW and Fatha Jimmy Choo!

Laurie:  So. If they weren’t mules but instead were an ankle boot I would find them potentially interesting, because a Victorian-style pointy lady’s boot with athletic trimmings is oddly compelling but these? Blech.

Tamikca: What are those? A mule? A sneaker? Stilettos? Just call them a no… what do you wear with those? To what event? I can’t think of anything I can justify wearing with those without feeling like I’m stuck in the early 2000’s … I have too many questions and no answers.

Anne: As part of a “sexy sprinter” Halloween costume? All I’ve got.

Melissa: I must be feeling my age because my first thought was, how in heaven’s name would you get your foot in that and proceed to walk in it?!

Carly: Norma Kamali did these in the early 80s. It was Whatthefuckistan then too.

Janet: Nah I’m good. For $550 I need an entire shoe. I need the shoe to know what it wants to be as well. The colors are cute though.

Sanshika: These are for the chicks who are walking straight from the chauffeured cars into the multi-million dollar high-rises, or for the IG “models” who are stationary. For the rest of us’ns who are regular folks who bus it or have to walk from our job’s parking lots to our work buildings, please don’t do this to ya ankles.

Portia: If I could still wear heels, and if you saw me in these…just call a rehab, any rehab because I am in need of a serious intervention.

Lys: Also, I’m “I don’t do shoes without backs” years old…If they had backs, I’d be in the Puma store after work tomorrow to try them on for research!

Alonda: Steve Madden is somewhere ready to throw Rihanna down a flight of steps right now for stealing his 2002 thunder… She played the ratchet card hard with these…

Dee: People out here just committing random acts of shoe-acide and death to their ankles…My entire lower leg rebelling just from looking at this pic

Denyse: For the love of baby Jesus wrapped in swaddling cloth in a manager with little baby fingers and toes, WHY in Gods precious lord Jesus and all of amazing Grace did they do this to a good heel and a comfortable sneaker…WHY I SAY!!!!!!!

Carly: This is some Rainbow or Sheikh store in the mall type ish.

Anna: I feel like I could get a grant for wearing these as a piece of performance art.

Jasmyn: Somebody’s round the way girl mama is gonna be rocking these in church this Easter, bamboo earrings and all.

Karisa: Um, did they run out of fabric or something???

Jessica: Those are like eleventy kinds of wrongness.

Elle: Wtf Rih Rih be on?? She know can’t nobody pull those off but her. I’m getting sick of fashionistas sending us common folk off!

Aleece: Either I’m sleepy or they forgot to sew the top on.

Alyse: So we’re bringing back the early/mid 00s?

Laura: J-Lo is playin’ ‘Get Right’ and dancin’ with a cane in these right now talm ’bout, “No she diiint.”

Lillian: They look like stiletto bowling shoes (disinfectant/other people’s foot odor included). WHY?!?

Lanesha: Is it 2003? I’m confused.

Amy: They look like bowling shoes… for hookers.

Tishika: Rih Rih… Not my hard earned paper dollars and jingly coins. Not my fragile ankle/foot connection. All the nopes.

Angelique: I just wanna wear my ratty old Crocs everywhere.

Gayle: I broke an ankle looking at these pictures.

Merline: Looks like something out of 2001 you pair with jersey dresses.

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I don’t know who is wearing these but I will say a prayer for their ankles. Let them not break, Fatha Gawd! Let those shins hold on strong!