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Was Brown Paint Busy When They Created This Bobby Jindal Portrait?

Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana got his official portrait done and well, it’s missing two very important things: melanin, so therefore accuracy.

Jindal is of Indian descent, and he is perpetually saying the worst things. He really must get his Land of Abandoned People passport soon. But this official portrait is doing the Matrix backbend to avoid pointing out the obvious: HE IS A BROWN MAN.

Behold:

Bobby Jindal Portrait

LMAOOOOOOOOOO!!! Who switched Piyush Jindal with Rand Paul, because the devil is indeed a bold-faced ass lie! The man in that painting on the left is not no damb Bobby! I refuse it. I rebuke it. I reject it.

The man in that painting is white. Why do they have him outchea looking like Ray Romano? Everybody might love Ray but people ain’t here for Bobby like this.

Bless his heart. This is like when you have a conversation with someone who thinks they’re “colorblind” and you ask them to describe someone to you and they refuse to mention their color.

“There’s someone I want you to meet across the room. You guys will really connect.”
“Oh great. What do they look like?”
“They have on a blue shirt and their hair is dark. Oh and brown shoes.”

BUT WHAT DO THEY LOOK…. COME ON!

come on oooh

This portrait is that. Someone took Bobby, and refused to act like he got any color. Maybe that person was Jindal himself and maybe he told the artist to make him look like a split screen of Adrian Brody and Snoop Dogg. But LAWD. This is a fail.

They tried it. They OVERtried it. They ULTRA tried it, even. He shoulda told them to hit his face with a couple of layers of color because what we have here is a lie, untruth, fable and fairy tale. This is not him. This is the Bitstrip version of him, after it’s been hit with 3 layers of light filter.

If I were him, I wouldn’t stand for this. So I’d sit. And make them create another drawing of me. One that is actually accurate. I’d ask for my PayPal refund too because this is like if I told someone to draw me and they came back with a picture of Miley Cyrus like TA-DA! YOU LIKE IT?

What the-hell-is-that gif

NO MA’AM! He let them Columbus his face. I wonder, though. Did he send this back or did he hang this in your office like it makes sense?

This melanin-deficient painting, doe. LMAO! Bless this mess. Portrait saying “Bobby, I don’t fit you.” Chile, I don’t have time. Maybe he got too much toothpaste on his mirror at home and it has him thinking that he got lighter. But he could stay indoors for 40 years and he won’t ever reach that level of pale.

The man on the left is Rob Blagojevich after going to a barber who told him that his hair looks like a helmet and a shorter cut would be more flattering.

Was brown paint busy? Brown paint was all “I’ma go to the store right quick and it ended up in Target and 15 hours later, it was still at the $1 section buying glitter pom pons and mini stuffed Tweety birds. Because you know there’s voodoo that keeps you at Target stores. I know that’s what happened because:

No Consuela

I got a light skinned friend look like Bobby Jindal. Got a dark skin friend look like Bobby Jindal.

I gotta introduce Bobby Jindal to some India Arie music so he can become proud of his melanin. I think I’ma make him a playlist, starting with her song Brown Skin.

Edit: Bobby Jindal’s staff said the portrait above was created by one of Bobby’s constituents. Apparently, this is the real one:

He STILL looks like Ray Romano, doe. It’s just slightly better. And wait, it was on loan to the Governor’s mansion so Bobby was still willing to put that portrait up and tell people “When you see this, you see me.” Oh ok. O_O

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59 Comments

  1. IJS
    February 3, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    “I got a light skinned friend look like Bobby Jindal. Got a dark skin friend look like Bobby Jindal.”

    Heelarious!!!!!

  2. February 3, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    all my can’ts have been murdered and put on the endangered species list with this: “I got a light skinned friend look like Bobby Jindal. Got a dark skin friend look like Bobby Jindal.”

  3. February 3, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    all my can’ts have been murdered and put on the endangered species list with this: “I got a light skinned friend look like Bobby Jindal. Got a dark skin friend look like Bobby Jindal.”

    • Tonia
      February 3, 2015 at 7:33 pm

      I almost choked on my pizza when I read that line. Luvvie, you are so wrong for that!!!

  4. HLBB
    February 3, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    Not Ray Romano.
    Alfred E. Neuman got himself an orthodontist and posed for this picture.

    http://media.dcentertainment.com/sites/default/files/MAD-Magazine-Alfred-E-Neuman-Norman-Mingo.jpg

  5. kacizzle88
    February 3, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    The real painting is still too light

  6. February 3, 2015 at 6:30 pm

    He picked up this portrait from his local Pay N’ Spray like, “Michael Jackson could never!”.

  7. Shar
    February 3, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    Awl hell naw. He need to have several seats looking like he and Sammy Sosa used the same soap…I refuse to can, I am can deficient and all my cans are on the shelves in shoprite! Smdh

  8. Jessica L Davis
    February 3, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    Piyush has been trying to white wash himself and the state of Louisiana for a while now. He prolly jizzed himself in glee when he saw that someone else saw him like he sees himself.
    Ugghh

    • whilome
      February 3, 2015 at 7:02 pm

      Precisely!
      I feel so bad for this man, doe. Self-hate is the saddest thing to see.

    • Ari Wyatt
      February 4, 2015 at 12:20 am

      Jessica, you speak that truth honey!
      #BrownOrWhite

    • Sane Jane
      February 5, 2015 at 12:36 pm

      What is the Indian word for “Uncle Tom” ?, That’s what Jindal is. He wants to be white but alas, his dreams will NEVER come true. He needs to go somewhere and sit his self-hating yansh down.

      • stace
        February 9, 2015 at 9:09 am

        Uncle Jindhal?

  9. OtherWynnGirl
    February 3, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    I know EXACTLY what happened here. Same thing happened to me in sixth grade when my friend suggested I wear “translucent” powder on picture day. Maaaan, those pics came back and I look like a straight clown! Didn’t help that I was wearing one of those bubble jumpsuits that we swore by back then. The artist used up alllll the translucent powder paint. I feel ya, Bobby.

    • Flyy
      February 4, 2015 at 1:52 pm

      As soon as I read the words ‘translucent powder’ i was in TEARS. That powder struggle is so real… almost as real as these women out here w/ beige concealor under their eyes in pictures when that flash hits.

      • howling banshee
        February 12, 2015 at 3:09 am

        *rushes in with bar towels and club soda to sop up the tea and clean the tablecloth*
        *lies down and folds hands afterwards to recover from the beige concealer comment*

  10. Maria Holt
    February 3, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    Vindicate us Vishnu! Help us to “Can” Krishna! If we can’t then help us to “Can’t” Kali! Save us Shiva.

    • anonimuss
      February 4, 2015 at 10:55 am

      well hes a christian so none of thats gonna help him.. try kneeling down in front of a padre instead 😀

    • Jon-Jon
      February 4, 2015 at 8:56 pm

      For years now I’ve been praying to Ganesh, he who removes all obstacles, he who is the deva of intellect and wisdom, because of Piyush Jindal. As Luvvie said, “I refuse it. I rebuke it. I reject it.”

    • Sane Jane
      February 5, 2015 at 12:38 pm

      lol!

  11. Coco Kipi
    February 3, 2015 at 6:51 pm

    Wait, your Target sells stuffed Tweety Bird? Man all they got in here is hello kitty. I’m jealous.

  12. Dave
    February 3, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    That’s what they get for cutting back on art supplies in kindergarten.

  13. Milaxx
    February 3, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    Did Sammy Sosa paint that?

  14. Kierah
    February 3, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    And somewhere Cyndi Lauper sings “I see your true colors shining throoooough”

  15. February 3, 2015 at 8:55 pm

    He looked at Sammy Sosa and said, “Yeah. We are about the same skin tone. You got that shade in your palette?”

    Artist:

  16. Madamsophia
    February 3, 2015 at 8:56 pm

    The painter potrayed how Jindal truly sees himself; I think.

  17. February 3, 2015 at 11:03 pm

    People relax, this is not a painting of Bobby Jindal, it’s a painting of his almost exclusively white Louisiana constituents.

  18. notconvincedgranny
    February 3, 2015 at 11:15 pm

    This is what happens when you try to blend in – you disappear. Instead of being brown you end up clear.

  19. Jitu
    February 3, 2015 at 11:16 pm

    Too bad the full portrait of white Jindal was not shown in this article.
    His pose is uncanilly similar to man’s best friend taking a leak.

  20. February 3, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    Woman, you are about to be guilty of murder! Imma die laughing.

    • February 3, 2015 at 11:40 pm

      I will give a nice eulogy. What color do you want us all to wear?

  21. February 4, 2015 at 2:10 am

    There’s a huge colorism issue that affects Indians both within the country and across the diaspora. You would think that having lived in the U.S., Bobby Jindal would know better, but sometimes this conditioning of the mind runs deeper than any of us can imagine. Sad state of affairs.

  22. Kludge
    February 4, 2015 at 2:36 am

    This whole portrait thing is so eye opening to me. Based on his policies I always thought he was white. Had I never seen his actual photo and only his portrait I would’ve remained in the dark. I wonder how many of his constituents saw the name Bobby on the ballot and assumed he was a good ol’ boy just like them when they voted for him.

    • Kierah
      February 4, 2015 at 10:51 am

      And that’s exactly why he goes by Bobby – using their racism to his advantage.

  23. Klysha
    February 4, 2015 at 2:41 am

    I’m so upset that autocorrect changed my name to kludge in my comment above

  24. Yogi B.
    February 4, 2015 at 4:16 am

    Umm … excuse me … The official portrait is still WHITE!

  25. Yvonne
    February 4, 2015 at 4:42 am

    He probably asked the painter to paint the portrait that way. #Denial #sSelfloather #BlackisBeautiful #BrownisBeautiful

  26. PoetrysTruth
    February 4, 2015 at 6:49 am

    He ain’t upset about the pic he’s probably real proud. His ass just moved up in the caste system. That’s a win *side eye*

  27. Michele
    February 4, 2015 at 8:05 am

    The self-hate runs deep with this one. I almost feel sorry for him.

  28. Megan
    February 4, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Here’s what y’all are missing. The painting is Bobby; the man is Piyush. Duh! LOL!

  29. February 4, 2015 at 10:20 am

    He looked at this portrait and said, “I’m beautiful, damn it!”

  30. Marcus Sun
    February 4, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    When denial and arrogance met and had a child

  31. February 4, 2015 at 6:11 pm

    Well, been some time since I last commented, as I usually read but refrain to write because I am neither black nor American and then I usually prefer to read and think/laugh/smh…
    However, this whole issue of self-hate and denial (introjected, mostly, let us all agree) hits close to home as I’ve been living in Brazil for a few years and it isn’t uncommon -for all I know- to hear things such as “Oh, isn’t the girl pretty? and she’s light (skinned) too!” [Note: usually among brown/black people of humble origins and poor education, ergo introjection and society-wide prejudice issues run more freely.]
    But no, Herr Governor, this should and does certainly not apply to thee.

    On a different though related issue, this:
    “Here’s Bobby Jindal’s official portrait. AND IT IS WHITE, AS WELL.”
    Blame it on Twitter for not allowing more characters?

  32. brotherap
    February 4, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    White supremacy’s crippled hand just won’t loosen it’s retarded grip on the minds of all of the demented fools within this nation. Always rolling the dice that people will forget, anything and everything, including the dark complexion of Bobby Jindal. As sick as he is, I wouldn’t put it passed him that he may have commissioned this portrait with his own special request.

  33. Muse
    February 4, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    That’s not Bobby Jindal. That’s Bobby Kennedy.

  34. Schweí Übersteigen
    February 4, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    Soo… Did he say to the artist, “Make me look more Republican”!
    They seem to have forgot the NRA trucker hat though!

  35. Carol Griffin
    February 4, 2015 at 11:44 pm

    OMG…that picture is “White Bobby” is both hilarious and pathetic. A grown man, educated Rhodes Scholar, two term governor and yet, so ignorant about race and his own heritage that he chose to deny who he really is. He has a wife and brown children… I’m curious about how he feels about their browbeat. I hope he doesn’t scre them up too!

  36. February 5, 2015 at 4:58 am

    Now they know good and doggone well that neither one of these pics look like that man. Even with my ultra-basic PhotoShop finger-painting skills, I could have at LEAST made him the right color. Dang it, Bobby.

  37. Serenity
    February 5, 2015 at 9:01 am

    this is how he sees himself…..

    I wouldn’t be surprised if he picked out the crayon himself

  38. February 5, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    Piyush wants to broadcast to his voter base that he is just like one of them a white American Idiot who has changed his name and religion just for them and by bribing the artists who paint his portrait he can appear very white (washed).

  39. LaNi
    February 5, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    SCREAMING. Please do stand up. As a matter of fact, skip straight to your two hour HBO Comedy Special.

    MA’AM.

    This whole thing is funny.

  40. Mister Walsh
    February 5, 2015 at 7:09 pm
  41. Asia
    February 5, 2015 at 11:23 pm

    Got a light skin friend look like Bobby Jindal, got a dark skin friend look like Bobby Jindal…I was crying so hard when I read that, now I can’t get that song out of my head!

  42. Ayesha
    February 6, 2015 at 5:41 am

    LoL … Maybe he’s advertising for “fair and lovely” … The go-to “gora rangg” cream of the subcontinent.

  43. mbabazi
    February 6, 2015 at 8:18 am

    Deadest. You kill me lurvie…im not even American or know of this man’s policies…but i feel his self hate from all the way here

    Ion i am maybe your second biggest fan in East Africa

  44. […] This is a portrait of Louisiana’s Republican governor, Piyush Jindal, painted by a constituent… (Piyush is Jindal’s real first name, but he was nicknamed “Bobby” as a child — after the youngest son in “The Brady Bunch.”) On loan from the constituent, it hung in the governor’s office. […]

  45. muuubyy55
    February 8, 2015 at 9:30 am

    the shittiest portrait painter alive….. with Mr.Magoo, the buyer.

  46. July 7, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    how can you run for president if you don’t know who you are ,being Indian is a race you should be proud of not ashamed of ,learn to speak with a voice that is heard ,and people will re-speak you for who you are and not the color of your skin

  47. August 8, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    […] has on assimilation. He changed his name from Piyush to Bobby, his portraits are strikingly white (x), and his campaign title suggest that he is “tanned” rather an actual indian person […]