10 Funniest Lines from President Obama’s 2015 Nerd Prom Set

The White House Correspondents Dinner (aka Nerd Prom) was last night, and as always, President Barack Obama came to roast. He’s fresh out of terms and fresh out of dambs to give too, so he came for everyone who sent for him in his 20 minute set. He even ended it with Luther the Anger Translator (Keegan-Michael Key) to help him finish the set.

Below is the video, and there were so many zingers. I picked my top 10 favorite lines.

* Because Joe Biden is touchy: “I feel more loose and relaxed than ever. Those Joe Biden shoulder massages. They’re like magic. You should try one… or you have.”

* Because he’s fuck-deficient: “My advisors asked me, ‘Mr. President, do you have a bucket list?’ I say, well I have something that rhymes with bucket list. Take executive action on immigration? Bucket! New climate regulations? Bucket!”

* Because his salt is more than his pepper: “It’s no wonder that people keep pointing out how the Presidency has aged me. I look so old John Boehner’s already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.”

* Because mid-term elections were brutal: “Today, thanks to ObamaCare, you no longer have to worry about losing your insurance when you lose your job. You’re welcome, Senate Democrats.”

* Because people ARE dumb: “Six years into my presidency, some people still say I’m arrogant and aloof, condescending. Some people are so dumb.”

* Exhibit A of dumb: “Michele Bachmann predicted I would bring about the Biblical end of days. Now that’s a legacy. That’s big. Lincoln, Washington — they didn’t do that.”

President Obama WHCD Nerd Prom 2015

Evan Vucci/AP

* Because DAMBIT, Indiana: “I tease Joe sometimes but he has been at my side for 7 years. I love that man… We’ve gotten so close, in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore.”

* Because Rick should worry about himself: “Rick Santorum announced that he would not be attending the same sex weddings of a friend or a loved one. To which gays and lesbians across the country responded: ‘That’s not going to be a problem.'”

* Because WELP: “The Koch brothers think they need to spend a billion dollars to get folks to like one of these people… I know I raised a lot of money too but in all fairness, my middle name is Hussein. What’s their excuse.”

* Because HA: “Apparently people really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. We could get a third Obama term after all.”

I AM HERE FOR LAME DUCK OBAMA!!! Let em have it!

Related: 10 of President Obama’s Funniest Lines from Nerd Prom 2013

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  1. lamh36
    April 26, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    I miss some of the speech but I did see all of the Luther segment.

    I just about died when Luther showed up!

  2. April 26, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    The Luther segment had me CRYING!!

  3. Demond D Edwards
    April 26, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    President Barack H. Obama sums up how the 4th Quarter will go. “BUCKET!!!”

    Nuff Said

  4. Nef05
    April 26, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    I couldn’t stand it when I saw the video mashup at the beginning and saw the headline “Barack Obama is out of F**ks”, knowing he must have actually approved including it. I knew right then it was all over for me and died on the spot. Then I rose up knowing he was gonna come for err’body and I didn’t wanna miss nunovit!

    Note: I had to go back and google that headline ’cause I swore it musta been an article by Luvvie I somehow missed!

  5. Nef05
    April 26, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    And can we talk fashion for a minute. Cause Michelle Obama was knock you off your chair gorgeous in that silver gown that looked like liquid when she moved and those curls were all that I want in life! Our First Lady never misses! Not NEVER!!!

    Alfre Woodard was slaying folks left, right and center in that light gold satin with the sheer, sparkly embroidered overlay. LUV her! Jane Fonda was AMAZING! Ion e’en know how she does it, but I want to be her when I grow up!

    Ashley Judd’s gown was lavender, springtime beautiful, but she totally threw me off when she took her #nerdprom corsage and attached it to the side of her head. (google it, seriously)

    I was disappointed in Darby Stansfield (Abby from Scandal). She has a tall, slim model figure and could practically wear anything. I loved her dress from the waist down. The draping and the hemline were gorgeous, but that neckline brought back nightmares of that Gwyneth Paltrow pink Oscar ballgown disaster. It was just very unflattering, to me. Too big on the sides or maybe it was that big bow that couldn’t decide if it was supposed to be at empire or natural waist position, so it stayed inbetween the two…

    President Obama and Al Roker looked very handsome in their tuxes, as did most of the men, except Johnny Weir. The tiara/headband was cool. We know that’s how he rolls. But, that big, fluffy black velvet bowtie that was clashing with his ill-fitting, different color black matte tux, with the (almost, but not quite) capri legs and no socks, bony ankles out all over the place. Dude! Don’t you have no queen friends?
    His date, Tara Lupinski was flawless in a nude lined, black lace overlay halter gown. I would totally wear that.

  6. DarlingNickyNYC
    April 26, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    Luvvie….baybaaaaay. There were so many gif-worthy moments in that video. But the one at the 10:23 mark after the President’s punchline about claiming to be American in 1961…Dude taking a sip of his red wine as if saying “I guess” is everything lol. I rewatched that part at least 3 times because his sip alone was so full of shade.

  7. SIPort
    April 26, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    When Luther came out on the stage with POTUS, I was done.

    Like laughing so hard I got cramps done.

    It was one of those moments that you WANTED to see, from the first moment you saw Luther in a Translator skit….to actually BE on stage with POTUS.

  8. Linda
    April 26, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    President Obama’s delivery and timing was excellent.I couldn’t stop laughing when Luther took the stage. Long overdue.

  9. April 27, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    I live for Nerd Prom! I am a former business reporter and got to attend one a while back when my boss bought a table and someone dropped out. I had one days’ notice and did not even care. Those after parties are better than the actual dinner.

    And I have been waiting for lame duck Obama because my President has had to tolerate so much shyt for so long that I knew he was going to let folks have it at the end.

    President Obama has really good comedic timing, and I hollered at the end of that skit with Luther when he walked off and told Michelle Obama “He’s crazy!”