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Shade, Snubbery and Sam Smith Slayage: My 2015 GRAMMY Awards Recap

57th grammys

What can be said about the GRAMMY Awards that can’t be said about any other out of touch award show? It was long, it was hella white and it snubbed Black and brown people. It’s their tradition and it is mine to complain about it. Consider this that complaint. But I got some questions.

* Did Rihanna’s pink dress steal the show? Yes. Yes, it did. Because there are 100s of memes dedicated to that UGLASS dress she decided to wear.

Rihanna Dress Meme

Speaking of young…

* Why is Ariana Grande’s team so dedicated to this ponytail life for her? They really do not help the case of us not believing that she’s a day over 13 years old. Her stylists gotta do better and make better choices because if they want her fetch to happen, this ain’t the way.

* Did LL Cool J miss soundcheck? He spent the entire show yelling into the mic like his inside voice was busy. Sir, chillax.

* Why did Pharrell win an award and get on stage talmbout “I’m not going to make this awkward.” But sir, you already did by wearing those adidas shorts. And his wife was dressed in an adidas catsuit like she was about to audition for “Cool Runnings 4.” Where are y’all going??

Pharrell Wife shorts Grammys

And when he performed, how much were we supposed to tip him because he surely was dressed like a hotel bellhop on Nickelodeon?

* What happened to Kanye West the dope artist? Because he got on stage and performed “Only One” a song dedicated to his mother and he did it with no emotion. It was so empty that it almost echoed. Also, who found him a Juicy Couture velour tracksuit to rock in 2015?

* Why did Annie Lennox get on that stage and SNAPPPP? I know we’re mad at her for her comments (and straight ignorance) on “Strange Fruit” but that bitty forced me to give her props because she sang DOWN. You win this round, Lady Lennox.

* Why did I just realize that The Weeknd is one man? And why was he rocking SpongeBob’s home on his head? Also, did he run out of vowels?

* Do we all really understand that we won’t have a president like Barack Obama again for a long time? A Black man who went on one of the biggest award shows to drop a message about why women cannot and should not be subjected to violence at the hands of their partners. Seriously. You might not be his fan for any reason but that Presidential Feminist moment was special and I am all the way here for it and made me so proud.

* Why do I want a cape dress now that I saw Katy Petty performing in one? I’ma get one and wear it to Target and stand in an aisle and y’all are gon be mad.

Katy Perry

This will be me at Target asking someone to help me get something off the top shelf. Don’t jealous me. (-__-)

* How did Lady Gaga go from wearing meat and having blood drip on her sets to singing shoo dee boop with Tony Bennett? Wonders shall never cease.

* Why was I so geeked to see a Stevie Wonder tribute? Maybe because I’m so salty that they always got HIM doing tributes for other people and they don’t pay #AMISH to him enough.

* How did a performance with Kanye West, Rihanna and Paul McCartney end up boring? I mean seriously. That is a trifecta of dope but either the GRAMMYs had just bored me to tears at that point or they managed to defy the laws of physics and music by adding up all their awesome and coming up subpar. SHEESH. Rihanna sounded the best she ever has, though. And Paul McCartney’s mic was pantomiming terribly. Sir, why you not singing live?

Kanye Paul Rihanna Grammys

Meanwhile, I kept forgetting that Kanye’s boring ass was onstage because Aliens came and abducted everything that made Kanye interesting. By aliens, I mean Kris Jenner and the Kardashian clan. Just WOMP.

* Why does it pain me so much to admit that Mary J. Blige adds nothing to Sam Smith’s “Stay With Me?” I am a fan but I love the version with just him and when they performed it together live last night, it confirmed it. I did like how they ended it, though. The harmonizing was cute.

* If Prince lacked any more dambs to give, will he need to take a daily supplement called Vitamin Fucks to replenish his supply? Y’all know I think Prince is so ridiculous with his alphet choices sometimes but I have to admit that I absolutely positively love it. Who else can show up to an awards show looking like a baby carrot and get a standing ovation just from his mere presence onstage? Prince. The man will show up dressed like Fanta and everyone will deal. Then, he will announce Album of the Year and shade the ever-living hell out of Beck, who won it over Beyonce.

Shady Prince

And won’t nobody be able to tell him shit. Gahtdambit. Prince is my Fairy Shade Father and I just want to be in his presence so some of the eclipse he throws can come my way and I will carry his shady torch for the rest of my days. Amen.

The man is also amazing for “Like books and Black Lives, albums still matter.” You just cannot NOT love him.

Books Black Lives Matter Prince

* When will be kickstarter and raise some funds to buy Kanye West some behavior? His almost interruption of Beck would have been funny if it was him making fun of his old tantrum. But when the show ended and Kanye went on a rant about how Beck should have given Beyonce the award he won and blah blah blah, I realized that Ye just ain’t all there anymore and I wanted to offer him an arena of seats to occupy.Beck is not the person whose artistry you question. He just is not because he comes with receipts. Nori’s daddy gotta go find some balance, some meds, a good therapist and some joy. This is tired and he’s a jackass.

* Why was I fist pumping because Iggy Azalea won nothing? Probably because I’m petty and I got my priorities straight. I feel like the spirit of Harriet Tubman shut out Igloo Australia from getting her hands on any of those GRAMMY Awards. Not THIS Black History month you will not win.

* Who is mad that Sam Smith cleaned UP at the GRAMMYs? Not me. I loved his doggone album and that voice of his is everything. Plus, he basically blocked Iggy’s award blessings so I’m double here for him. His acceptance speech for album of the year was cute too. “Thank you so much for breaking my heart, because I got 4 GRAMMYs.” When my heart got broken, I got ice cream.

* How did the Grammys forget to include Joan Rivers in the “In Memoriam” section when they JUST gave her a Grammy posthumously that day? Who’s mistake was that? And how, Sway??

* Was it the spirit of Mahalia Jackson that side-eyed Beyonce so hard that she gave that MEH performance of “Precious Lord” as New Edition Choir in white behind her sang? It’s probably because it wasn’t right for her to sing it while Ledisi was sitting in the audience.

Beyonce performance Grammys

Bey ain’t got the Church Mother voice needed to SANG that song like it should be sung and even SHE gotta know to stay out of certain lanes. I was underwhelmed.

* Didn’t John Legend sing the pain of our struggles last night? WHEW!!! Homeboy had my spirit stirring with that voice of his. I almost threw my houseshoes at the TV. I LIVE!

Why did this GRAMMYs feels like one giant #TBT telecast? Tom Jones, Tony Bennett and Madonna performed. Enrique Iglesias presented an award. Kanye was in a sweatsuit. Plus: LL Cool J’s ever-present kangol. This GRAMMYs is missing the Valencia filter because this is straight #TBT. Kids born after 2000 are like “So many new artists!” O_O

What would we do without Twitter to entertain us through these marathon award shows??? WHAT, I ASK?!?

Why did my boy @YoungSinick summarize it perfectly?

But yes. Whatcha’ll think about the GRAMMYs?

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118 Comments

  1. Luxurylatte
    February 9, 2015 at 10:59 am

    Ledisi should have been allowed to perform the song from the movie, not Beyonce. Sorry stans, but she was so out of pocket for that. My understandign is that she contacted Common and John and wanted to sign that exact song that Ledisi did for the movie, and “they couldn’t say no, it was Beyonce”. That is unacceptable and sad. Smh… we talk about the Grammys white wash and yet even our won would rather appeal to “mainstream” than keep the soul in the bowl.

    • jcanwisegrrl
      February 9, 2015 at 11:11 am

      They did? That’s totally uncool. Does Beyonce have to be in everything? Is she water? Kmt! Ledisi would’ve torn that place down and built it back up with that voice of hers. I wish people would just stop deifying this woman.

    • jcanwisegrrl
      February 9, 2015 at 11:24 am

      Apparently Bey asked to perform the song to introduce them. I still say meh. https://tv.yahoo.com/news/grammys-2015-ledisi-john-legend-004600985.html

      • ametia
        February 9, 2015 at 11:48 am

        I was not here for that shadiness of Bey.

        I saw a pre-show interview with Ledisi she showed grace, class, and commented on how she got to star in the movie “Selma.” she’s got her priorities straight.

        Straight up SELFISH.

        And her performance of “Precious Lord” was “TIRED & WEAK, ” Precious Lord….

        • jcanwisegrrl
          February 9, 2015 at 11:55 am

          Straight up. Not everything is about you, B. You do not need to be in everything, like water.

        • Milaxx
          February 9, 2015 at 2:27 pm

          So disappointed in Bey for this. Here was her chance to lift up and support a fellow artist. She riding on top and basically stole the spot light from Ledisi. Her making up (excuse) video does absolve her of this. This was a shady move on Bey’s part.

    • Kierah
      February 9, 2015 at 11:43 am

      I really think Beyoncé doles out little espresso cups of her bathwater for these dudes to drink because they straight up wile out for her. You got Kanye damn near ruining his career TWO times for her and he ain’t even her man! You got Common and John saying “Yes Beyoncé, we know you know nothing about this here Selma and gospel, but please be the glitter on our coffeecake (shiny but completely unnecessary) on this here song?” Shoulda done us ALL a favor and told her No in English, Spanish, Creole, and Esperanto so that there would be no misunderstanding.

      • ametia
        February 9, 2015 at 12:05 pm

        Had I been in that Grammy audience, I would have pulled a Kanye West number on Bey and snatched her off the stage during that rendition of ‘Precious Lord.”

      • Shay
        February 9, 2015 at 2:20 pm

        Esperanto!

      • Milaxx
        February 9, 2015 at 2:28 pm

        Word had it that Bey went to the Grammy Academy and request she be allowed to sing this when she hear there was to be a Selma tribute. Jon Legend and Common had nothing to do with it.

        • TD1016
          February 9, 2015 at 3:14 pm

          Entertainment Tonight states that they spoke with Legend, and he is quoted as saying Beyonce came to him and Common. That they couldn’t say no because who says no to Beyonce.

        • Bgurrl
          February 12, 2015 at 4:54 am

          Thank you! Artists have a choice in who sings with them. Kanye chose an unknown to little know artist to perform with him during the grammys over Lauryn Hill to give the lesser known artist the spotlight. So that crap about the not having a choice is grade A BULLCRAP! They were just some punks and threw Ledisi under the bus.

      • Ms. Twisted N Turned
        February 9, 2015 at 3:38 pm

        “Shoulda done us ALL a favor and told her No in English, Spanish, Creole, and Esperanto so that there would be no misunderstanding.”

        And with this comment you have made me unplug my computer and hide the cord for a week, grounding myself for laughing so hard and finding so much humor in it.

      • SAMDiva
        February 9, 2015 at 3:57 pm

        ROFLMAO!!! Not Esperanto though! Lawd that for me in here dying. But yeah… Beyonce was extra shady for that and her performance was SOOOOOOO weak. She did no justice to that song or Mother Mahalia. Ledisi is classy and let it slide but for all of our sake I wish she was a bit more petty.

  2. Sarah
    February 9, 2015 at 11:00 am

    I am only on twitter on awards night to follow your comments, i actually never watch them. I live for your shenanigans.

    • LillyO
      February 13, 2015 at 10:43 am

      NO KIDDING! They should let you EmCee the Grammy’s next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. February 9, 2015 at 11:05 am

    I knew the grammys wasn’t ish when they gave macaroni, er, mackelmore a rap grammy over kendrick lamar. It’s a popularity contest plain and simple.

    • toastee
      February 10, 2015 at 5:59 pm

      I was with you until the part about it being a popularity contest. If that was the case Bey would have won over Beck. Beck won because of the technical merit of his album (in THEIR opinion) when Bey clearly set records for the sales (i.e. popularity) of her last album WITHOUT any PR beforehand.

      • bgurrl
        February 12, 2015 at 4:56 am

        Are you kidding. Beck is da bomb. Been listening to dude since forever. Even Mackelmore explained how the process of the grammy works. He felt he didn’t deserve that award either.

  4. jcanwisegrrl
    February 9, 2015 at 11:08 am

    I agree with everythang you said, Luvvie. I didn’t watch, but followed the tweets and got my entire life from all the shade and hateration floating around the interwebs. I watched some of the videos this morning and my spirit is still weeping at the altar from John Legend and Common’s performance. My word, my sentence, my paragraph! I felt every note of it right in the heart. And when John did that hum at the end… Mercy! If you ever been to a ‘Holy Ghost’ church, you KNOW that sound. It’s the sound when no words will articulate what you’re feeling. Loved the choir of brothers, too.

    And yes, the Grammys shaded Ledisi. She played Mother Mahalia in Selma, they might could have given her the opportunity to SANG people into repentance and sweet salvation with those anointed vocal cords. You know people woulda been there crying their eyes out and laying their burdens down.

    • SJones
      February 9, 2015 at 12:36 pm

      This whole post just gave me everlasting life.

      • jcanwisegrrl
        February 9, 2015 at 1:24 pm

        *passes around collection plate* lol

        • February 10, 2015 at 6:21 am

          Drops in $10.

        • Missy
          February 11, 2015 at 2:02 pm

          Makes change for the $10 in the collection plate and leaves $2.75

    • monica h
      February 9, 2015 at 6:50 pm

      AMEN!

  5. marcia
    February 9, 2015 at 11:09 am

    Luvvie, Luvvie, Luvvie, why did you post this while I am at work? Trying to hold my laughs in caused me to moan like I was on the altar..Co-workers were so concerned that they fetched my manager..You have to do better!
    #girlyounailedit
    #iloveyouandyourwords
    #luvviematters

  6. February 9, 2015 at 11:09 am

    All I can say is that I agree with everything you just said above. I too was wondering why didn’t they let Ledisi sing because that was not Beyonce’s greatest moment. I didn’t feel anything. However, when John got on the mic, I threw my hands up and was ready to be like, Yes, Lawd!

    I can’t lie, I was shocked to see Beck win over Bey but I never listened to Beck so I had to keep my mouth closed but I wouldn’t have been mad if he did actually run up on the stage. LOL!

    Prince is magical. he probably parked is unicorn outside right before coming on stage. I thought his shade was towards Kanye running up but it may very well have been towards Beck’s win.

    Last, I hate to say it but I was happy that Iggy didn’t win. I like Iggy and her songs but her winning last night would have been an injustice.

    Thanks for the excellent recap!

    • M
      February 9, 2015 at 1:02 pm

      That look was not for Beck. He made that face when he walked on stage and the audience went crazy.

      • bgurrl
        February 12, 2015 at 4:58 am

        I felt something with her performance. Creepy. I seriously felt creepy. Like I was a voyeur or something.

  7. Lola
    February 9, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Your recap of the Grammys is just awesome. Truth be told

  8. ferris
    February 9, 2015 at 11:14 am

    You forgot that so unsexy, sorry, grandma give it up performance from Madonna. She needs to have a plethora of seats.

    • mobaygurl
      February 9, 2015 at 12:15 pm

      she tried doe. I absolutely knew Madonna would be back after last year when she was a guest and had an injury was walking with a cane and looked like Colonel Sanders. she had to try to redeem herself. but I agree with you 100%

      and luvvie, as always you are on point!

    • SAMDiva
      February 9, 2015 at 4:03 pm

      Yeeeeeesss! She was dancing like her bone hurt. I was uncomfortable FOR HER. Ma’am please get a Mike stand and let the sexy guys dance around you because that is much preferable to you looking like you’re about to disjoint a damn hip. Thank you kindly!

    • February 9, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      I still love her. I didn’t love those heels.

    • circa1908
      February 13, 2015 at 11:14 am

      my friend coined the term “NOXY” as in not at all Sexy.

      feel free to utilize as it is appropriate here

  9. a416Bajan
    February 9, 2015 at 11:24 am

    Thanks for the recap as I didn’t watch the whole thing.
    Just another all white Hollywood party during Black History Month!!

  10. Kenyatta
    February 9, 2015 at 11:26 am

    Annie Lennox been sangin for 74 years. I dare anyone to tell her she cant blow the roof off of an establishment. Some of these young heffas need to take note

    • mobaygurl
      February 9, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      ditto on Annie Lennox, but i’m dating myself.

    • Odiva
      February 9, 2015 at 11:49 pm

      Who is Annie Lennox. I gotta google her.

      • February 11, 2015 at 5:56 pm

        [me has a little heart attack]
        What, are you 12 or younger perhaps?
        SMH

    • Odiva
      February 10, 2015 at 12:05 am

      Neber mind. I just watched her performance. She threw it down!

    • circa1908
      February 13, 2015 at 11:15 am

      she prolly coulda put some soul into “precious Lord”

  11. connichameleon
    February 9, 2015 at 11:32 am

    Not sure who the Grammy’s got to do their market research but they failed. The show was depressing, slow and dark. I was yawning at the 9 o’clock hour. I’m not here for LL hosting anymore. It’s time to let that go.

    The Beyhive got a shout out and lost all comprehension, critical thinking skills they had left. There was no way Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter AKA Sasha Fierce should’ve been up on that stage performing. She wasn’t even in the movie and provided no music for the soundtrack. Common & John should’ve told her no. I think her minions get judgment and critiquing confused.

    I wasn’t here for the Hotel Transylvania rendition of Happy. Just no.

    I’m mad we could see Rihanna’s dress from space.

    The complete show was a nope, nawl, never, nein, no fest.

    The REAL highlight of the night was the Beggin Strips commercial. http://youtu.be/rVkSi4WUMI4

    • Sane Jane
      February 9, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      “I wasn’t here for the Hotel Transylvania rendition of Happy. Just no. ” Ha ha! I was verklempt at how Pharrell Williams messed up his OWN song! My take on his outfit was more winged monkey from Wizard of OZ.

    • Vonetta
      February 20, 2015 at 10:45 am

      Not the “Hotel Transylvania rendition of ‘Happy'”, though, LOL! And I didn’t know whether to let my eyes glaze over at that “WTF”-esque performance or let his bellhop-looking azz carry my bags upstairs, lol.

  12. ametia
    February 9, 2015 at 11:35 am

    dead, Dead, DEAD@ that Iggy on the sub pic.

    and NO to Beyoncé singing “Precious Lord.”

    HELL NAWL

  13. February 9, 2015 at 11:38 am

    I thought the whole show was stuck on the easy listening channel. The only thing missing was Michael McDonald. And am I the onliest one sick to death of choirs coming out for no reason? Like Madonna don’t even like Jesus, why she had his chirren come out while she gyrated behind them? Chile…

    • Vonetta
      February 20, 2015 at 10:46 am

      I love me some Michael McDonald, though. I wouldn’t have been mad at that in place of that pseudo-“Precious Lord” mess!

  14. Ms Nicole 2 U
    February 9, 2015 at 11:39 am

    Chiiiiile. When I saw Rhi Rhi’s dress, 2 things came to mind:

    1. Why is she wearing a toilet paper cover?
    2. Did they play Marcha Triunfal De Aida when she walked the Red carpet? (if you’ve ever been to a quinceañera, you know this song)

    Why was Pharrell dressed like Courderoy the Asian train conductor? What time was pharrell’s pick up game? How did Annie Lennox vocally eviscerate everybody so effortlessly? Why lawd why did Beyodel get on that stage to steal Ledisi’s shine then proceed to do such a pass poor rendition of that song??? Why did I just guffaw loud as heck at Prince being our Fairy Shadefather? Chile, I live!

    There was do much WTF going on last night that I had to change the channel 15 times. Now I remember why I hadn’t watched since 2004.

    • jcanwisegrrl
      February 9, 2015 at 11:47 am

      Not Beyodel though! lololololol! *on the floor laughing my yansh off*

    • JMoTillman
      February 9, 2015 at 12:38 pm

      BEYODEL!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop it! I’m at work in tears! I can’t breath! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • SAMDiva
      February 9, 2015 at 4:18 pm

      Beyodel though!?! Where’s the casket cause I’m dead!

    • Ms Nay
      February 9, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      Beyodel is the funniest thing I have heard in years…..ROTFLMAO

    • Jodi
      February 11, 2015 at 12:18 pm

      I thought the funniest thing ever was Luvvie’s take on Prince “who else can show up at an awards show dressed like a baby carrot?” until I got to “Why was Pharrell dressed like Courderoy the Asian train conductor?” and “Beyodel.” I’m laughing so hard I need to go lie down.

  15. February 9, 2015 at 11:39 am

    Beyoncé knows she bogarded that song – you cannot be in everything! I love her, but she gotta let go of the time when JHud snatched the movie Dreamgirls from her and got an Oscar for it. Turribuh, just turribuh. She woke up wondering why it was so dark in the middle of the day considering all the shade she got from performing a song that was not really meant for her. Kinda like the one person that gets all the choir solos because he/she is the Pastor’s kid.

    Until the Grammys start showing our awards during the regular broadcast, I will not watch the shenanigans. Love our music, but not enough to let us perform it – okay.

    Someone tweeted that Madonna had her butt braced up to prevent it from producing sparks when it dragged the ground. It made me uncomfortable looking at it – like the way your pantyhose rolls down and you can’t pull them up all the way.

    Love this recap. Luvvie!

    • Ms.JoeyNicole
      February 9, 2015 at 6:04 pm

      The preacher’s kid with the solo and his granddaughter, sister, niece and cousins in the front row of the unnecessary choir!

      • bgurrl
        February 12, 2015 at 5:02 am

        Well, remember she got lead singer (well mostly the only one singing) cause she was the managers kid. Destiny’s Child should have been called Beyoncé and the Destinys or something. That was like the Supremes or something and then finally they just called it what it was. Diana Ross and the Supremes. LOL

    • Odiva
      February 10, 2015 at 12:01 am

      Preacher’s kid! Ha so true!

  16. Audi
    February 9, 2015 at 11:52 am

    Luvvie you are the ONLY reason I even bothered to watch the Grammys otherwise I would give no dambs…. Thank you for making my Grammy watching experience hilarious. This recap has me at my desk at work crying real tears.
    Also, If you find where they have that supplement of vitamin f*cks on sale let me know.

  17. February 9, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    I apologize in advance if this is long. a) I miss the old Kanye. The “IDGAF I got something to say with some substance Ye”. Kimmie done F*** the black outta the boy. He doesn’t even articulate the same. It’s as if all his “coolness”, his “blackness”, his “My lil cousin who is smart as hell and got mad talent” swag is gone. It’s depressing to watch his life force be drained like that… ON a positive..Riri done had a tiny bit of singing lessons. LOL.
    As for BeFuddled… I am just not here for that. She doesn’t have the vocal prowess. How dare she tip toe her way into a Remix like Lil Kim on this vocal performance! AInt nobody ask you? It was as if John Legend and Common got bullied into allowing this. Then to end it with “Thank you Guys?” Girlfriend..who you thanking??? Ledisi handled it w/ awesome grace. But let the Beyhive tell it..the Angel Gabriel and Andre Crouch entered Beyonce’s body and took us to church. Matter of fact..no one “took us to church” last night. Not even Hozier….

    • JMoTillman
      February 9, 2015 at 12:37 pm

      Annie Lennox took Hozier to church though. She basically said, “Boy move! I’m fit ta sang!”

      • Sane Jane
        February 9, 2015 at 2:04 pm

        co-signing that!

        • February 10, 2015 at 10:14 am

          Ya know. Ya’ll are right. She sure as heck did. Still love her for calling Beyonce “feminist lite”. LMAO!

    • Petty Levert
      February 9, 2015 at 12:50 pm

      Chile…..she didn’t even drive us past the parking lot of the church. I just could NOT. I was can deficient with her last night.

    • bgurrl
      February 12, 2015 at 5:04 am

      After the death of his mother he just changed. And the way he learned about it during a concert miles away from her had to have an affect.

  18. JMoTillman
    February 9, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    Prince is everything! You know you are a boss when you can wear a tangerine ahphet and STILL throw shade.
    Beyonce singing Precious Lord is like Macklemore winning best rap album. Dang…that did happen.
    I too fist pumped at Iggy Azz winning NUTTIN! And that meme of her riding the bus home is my boo! LMBO!

  19. Shica
    February 9, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Beyonce singing that song is like Amber Rose liturgical dancing and Kim Kardashian being a church mother.

  20. notconvincedgranny
    February 9, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    After Ignant Azsayah posted that photo of herself with Macklemore, proclaiming them “the future of hip-hop” I’ve wanted her to take her saddlebags back to the Outback and hop with her fellow ‘roos. Before Mickey D’s catches up with her and makes burgers out of her (y’all know that’s kangaroo meat, right?)

  21. Sane Jane
    February 9, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    Luvvie, I think Prince’s beyond-epic side eye is due to Kanye running up on stage, not because Beck won. I noticed the camera did not show Prince’s reaction until AFTER that nincompoop tried to rush the stage and booger-up Beck’s acceptance speech.

  22. Lisa
    February 9, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Have y’all seen Bey’s “explanation” for why she wanted to sign that song last night?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVtT4jZM9GA

    The lies..the lies…the lies….smh

  23. February 9, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Kanye really needs to quit because he really is making an azz of himself. Bey’s husband isn’t even taking it that hard, so why is he?

    And speaking of Kid Creole, she knows that she butchered that song. When “Precious Lord” is sung properly, people are supposed to slain in the spirit and left rocking back and forth. Do you all remember when Yolanda Adams sang “I Love the Lord” in tribute to Whitney Houston at the Image Awards and nearly had those fancy Black folks cutting up on national tv? Yeah, this was not that moment.

    Ledisi should have sung that song period. No amount of explanations makes this snub right, and that fact that this heffa did not even do the song justice made it worse.

    And can someone ask Beck for his skin care regimen because this man has not aged one bit. The hair is shorter, but he looks pretty close to how he did in the 90’s. He must be sharing Prince’s unicorn blood.

    And I am giving Mother Lennox a pass for those Strange Fruit comments because it’s a new year, and I am generous like that. Plus, I think she had to have learned her lesson behind trying to whitewash the truth behind Strange Fruit.

    She hijacked that guy’s set with her performance of “I Put a Spell on You.” They could have left her onstage for the rest of the night as far as I was concerned.

    • February 9, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      Beck on that Vanna White regiment! Gotta be unicorn tears in his moisturizer.

    • bgurrl@mail.com
      February 12, 2015 at 5:09 am

      Like how Lillie(Nicole) McCloud threw it down on X Factor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3U4kxuBfIo

  24. Dee
    February 9, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    I thought Prince looked like a clementine. He’s too tiny to be an orange.

  25. Dee
    February 9, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    Oh, and Michael Cera totally should play Beck in a movie, I seriously thought that was him in the screen grabs.

  26. Kiss
    February 9, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    And that fake hand shaking like She felt the spirit. CHILE you tried it. The Holy Ghost was not present at the Grammys and my spirit was unmoved and unphased by that overdone and lackluster performance. Now that the Grammys are over Her and Kanye need to go back and have ALL of the seats in there.

  27. February 9, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    The hypocrisy of Kanye, talkmbout acknowledging artistry, and showing respect for real musicians when he sang ALL of his parts with the help of auto-tune. And still had the nerve to be pitchy! Boy stop!

  28. SAMDiva
    February 9, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    Wasn’t Katy Perry’s cape stress Solange’s wedding dress? Don’t get me wrong, it is a fierce dress and, like you, I want to own one just to be able to go to the grocery store in and look like royalty. However, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it before.

    • SAMDiva
      February 9, 2015 at 4:08 pm

      Cape dress*. My auto correct is being a sick today.

      • SAMDiva
        February 9, 2015 at 4:10 pm

        Dammit. My auto correct is being a dick today! And apparently it decided to prove it.

        • RonicaOne
          February 10, 2015 at 2:47 pm

          Yup!

  29. February 9, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    I would like to thank each and everyone one of you for the life you have given to me today. Of course I had to be resurrected more than once but chile….. I got life!!!!!

  30. Matador1015
    February 9, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    So far on my Bookface timeline, the argument for and against Beyoncé’s singing of “Precious Lord” breaks down like this:

    Against: Ledisi killed it in the movie, Ledisi SANG it in the movie, Bey could have given her the shine, Bey don’t have church cred, etc.

    For: Because it’s Beyoncé.

  31. brandihorse83
    February 9, 2015 at 6:27 pm

    I just have one question why was Kanye singing around the LED light in the flo? Looking like he was trying make s’mores at a camp fire??? And for all that fashion he whines about he shole looked like a homeless raggedy ass mess in that 1996 track suite from foot locker and that basic ass black t-shirt from wally world….SMH

    • Christie
      February 10, 2015 at 7:50 am

      Not Foot Locker!

  32. BriLynn
    February 9, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    Prince looked like that orange creamsicle Olivia wanted… and I love him.

  33. Your Mother
    February 9, 2015 at 7:51 pm

    I think you answered your own question in most of your remarks. Read your question and then go back and read your remarks… That’s why. And by the way, Kanye is the most pompous, over rated person on the planet and fits in perfect with the most over rated no talent group on the planet, the kardashian’s. Read your grammar and your remarks and wonder why people don’t want to listen to you.

  34. KLR
    February 9, 2015 at 8:22 pm

    Luvvie, I’ve never read your work before, but this Grammy review is everything. I loved every word! Your writing is smart, insightful, and flat out hilarious.

  35. Nothing But Luv
    February 9, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    Wow mad shade for Queen B. The funny thing is that the Grammy’s did not ask Ledsi to be in the show. You guys act like Iif Beyoncé hadn’t offered to sing the song, they would have asked Ledsi to sing it. The fact is that Bey brought attention to the song so people who hadn’t heard it and who,like me, did not know it was from the movie or that someone else sung the song in the movie, we now know. She actually brought attention to the song as only Bey can and now more people will want to hear it esp since bey’s mom sung it to her. Ledsi will be all the better off for the attention Bey brought to the song.

    • HaiOlay
      February 9, 2015 at 10:44 pm

      But Beyodel sounded meh and her performance was very underwhelming. What do you have to say about that, while you’re so busy dick-riding?

      • Nothing But Luv
        February 10, 2015 at 5:22 am

        I couldn’t care less about your opinion of Bey’s version of the song. . I’m merely making a point about propaganda and marketing. She is using her name brand recognition to bring attention, not only to the song but indirectly to the movie also. Trust that a lot of people will benefit as a result of her contribution. I bet many more people tuned in to the Grammy’s just bcuz bey was performing than anyone would if they announced Ledsi.

        • lara
          February 10, 2015 at 3:00 pm

          Point is Beyonce had every right to let Ledisi have her shine. She’s not new to the game and she was not forced to sing it. She basically went to Common and Legend and told them she wanted to sing this song.
          She was allowed to sing “as last” at the inauguration ball after playing Etta James, so why didn’t she let Ledisi have her moment?
          Y’all like to look for excuses when it comes to her because i know damn well that if this was someone else you people would have came for them.
          Also, Common and Legend winning at the Golden Globes did enough to raise awareness. Beyonce is not the only star on earth so.. sit.

        • bgurrl
          February 12, 2015 at 5:12 am

          But we really don’t know that they didn’t plan on having Ledisi sing and then when Beyoncé asked just threw her under the bus, because like punks they couldn’t say no even though they could, because artists have the power to chose who they perform with.

        • Petty Shabazz
          February 12, 2015 at 9:41 am

          Actually, a lot of people DIDN’T tune into the Grammy’s this year because of Bey’s contribution. Viewership hit a 6-year low: http://variety.com/2015/data/news/grammy-ratings-down-cbs-show-dominates-but-appears-to-have-hit-a-6-year-demo-low-1201428656/

          But, once again, the Fleahive loves to make excuses for their so-called queen.

    • M
      February 9, 2015 at 10:54 pm

      Mother Mahalia Jackson is why we know this song not Bey. Go to YouTube. If you’ve never heard any of the myriad of versions that are way better you’ll be there for a while.

      I wouldn’t repeat statement that you needed Bey to make you go see a movie regarding your own history. Especially since Bey had nothing to do with movie until after it was successful.

      Ledisi is better because she had the grace to not tell what happened not because a fake feminist through her under the bus.

      • Nothing But Luv
        February 10, 2015 at 5:53 am

        Honestly, M, some people don’t know who is Mahaila Jackson or Ledsi or Beck for that matter. ..but millions of people who tuned in just because Beyoncé and/or Prince were involved, now know who these people are and that is a win win for all.

        I did not say Bey is making me want to see the movie and why do you assume this has anything to do with my history. I’m actually a little weary of yet another MLK movie but I am looking forward to seeing this one when it comes out on digital or dvd.

        Anyway, I enjoy Luvie and her shenanigans and many of the readers contributions. Thank you for making me laugh.

    • Maxine Shaw, Attorney-at-LOL
      February 10, 2015 at 12:14 am

      …are you SERIOUS???

      • Nothing But Luv
        February 10, 2015 at 6:20 am

        Yes. I am serious. Maybe a little too serious given the lightheartedness of Luvvie’s blogs which I thoroughly enjoy. It’s all good and fun when Luvvie throws shade because she is pointing out the absurdity and humor in things and I love that. But then people turn funny into meanness and and opportunity to hate on a successful black woman and they are dead serious about their intolerance. Mind you these are the same types of people who will hate on the average successful black woman they see in every day life.

        My point is that Beyoncé has that Oprah effect on a different group or generation of people. Their involvement in anything brings exposure to a whole range of people that would otherwise not pay much attention. So when they choose to put their brand on a product or project that product and anyone else involved benefits.

      • RonicaOne
        February 10, 2015 at 2:56 pm

        I am biting my aged tongue. I thought the short bus left with Iggy. Tink-Tink needs to find a sofa. Probably doesn’t get the Maxine Shaw reference either.

        • February 10, 2015 at 4:04 pm

          As my granny would say when dismissing nonsense “I don’t have time for picking flowers!

          But yeah, to think that anyone believes that the world needs Beyonce to teach us about Mahalia Jackson’s music — because her mother sang it her – is absurd. Precious Lord has been sung in churches long before this girl shimmied on the scene in her trademarked bedazzled adult onesies.

          I would love to know what makes folks so protective of a person that did not give birth to them and is not paying their bills because I do not get it.

  36. […] me cackle. Because it so often seems true. This year the Grammy Awards were roasted on Twitter and recapped by Luvvie (click here to read). I didn’t watch and I don’t really feel like I missed out on […]

  37. Niecia
    February 9, 2015 at 11:43 pm

    But can we talk about Sia?

    • Odiva
      February 10, 2015 at 12:18 am

      Actually I cant. Because I have yet to understand why running around the room in a pink leotard like you’re nuts doesn’t end them up in a straight jacket.

    • February 11, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      Great writer/composer, with a set of balls. Sia and Stromae are my latest discoveries, and the ones I care about right now. (Especially Stromae)

  38. ballmergirl
    February 9, 2015 at 11:55 pm

    To Luvvie and all the Luvvie Duvvies who have posted, THANK YOU for sending me into hysterics and summing up everything that was wrong (and a few rights) with the miserable Grammys broadcast. Y’all are so on point – I’m hoping her Beyneficence and the K-kid reap their rewards for their collective arrogance last evening. Luvvie – I read your blog once before – consider me now A BELIEVER!!!

  39. Azie
    February 10, 2015 at 1:50 am

    I am now questioning Beyonce…How many other artists has she “snubbed” before. Common and John Legend should also be called out…AND she was clompletely trying to recreate Solanges wedding with that choir in the background… And Her performance was below average #LetOtherChildrenShine
    #EverythingisNOTforYou

    • jcanwisegrrl
      February 10, 2015 at 6:41 pm

      Yes, Common and John ought to be ashamed of themselves too! Can’t lay on the blame on Beyodel (that will FOREVER be her name to me now. lol) A part of me is hoping they perform Glory with the same Precious Lord intro at the Oscars with Ledisi this time, so she can show how it’s REALLY done. And the other part wants her to tell them to take a long walk off a short cliff if they do ask. Hmph!

  40. Monica
    February 10, 2015 at 7:15 am

    Thank you SO much for this recap! This is my first visit to your blog after seeing this post on FB, but I will definitely be stopping in often. I made my dog jump up off of his bed when I barked out my first laugh!

  41. A.M. Griffin
    February 10, 2015 at 9:15 am

    This was the funniest recap evah!

  42. Cecilia
    February 10, 2015 at 10:00 am

    I have got to stop reading your stuff at work! I’m about to get fired because they think I’m nuts or for disturbing the coworkers!

  43. Edward
    February 10, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Kanye was so auto-tuned, I thought they had replaced him with a Speak-n-Spell.

  44. Janel
    February 11, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    Luvvie, I hate you for making me want to laugh my ass off right now. but i can’t cause i’m sitting in my Law class and i’m trying not to bust a gut, so i have the goose pimples all over my body.
    This is a love hate relationship. I should know better by now than to read your stories while doing important things.

  45. February 11, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    This summary made my freaking day… still chuckling about the fairy shade father… thank you!!!

  46. Lynn
    February 11, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    Such a good article! But I have to disagree a bit. Gospel can be sung in many ways and I thought Beyonce’s version was AWESOME! (If you have not heard her live, then you would be unaware of the fact that she can actually “SANG ” so to question her talent is pointless, even if you did not like this particular performance,) If Beyonce’ wanted to be a part of the Selma movement, who can blame her? She is a black woman, and as we saw from the shade of the Grammy’s, any of us are subject to racism and mistreatment, even if we are Beyonce’. Who can blame Kanye? I am sure we all know Beck is talented and I highly doubt Kanye’ meant Beck was not, but all this constant in your face racism is getting so old! He is pissed. WHY aren;t you?

    Furthermore, To act like that this particular hymn is not a song that belongs to all of us, or to act as though Ledisi wrote it, or even to act as though Beyonce’ is not from the South and did not grow up in the church or that she cannot sing , causes divides in our race for no reason. We deal with enough shade. Don’t add to it, please.

    • Petty Shabazz
      February 12, 2015 at 9:46 am

      So it’s OK to shade…as long as it’s not Beyonce? Got it! *eye roll*

  47. L. Fairfax
    February 12, 2015 at 9:38 am

    Oh, mah DEAR – the word is HOMAGE (pronounced “o-MAJJ” if yer bou’gie; otherwise, “OMM-ige” is fine). (THAT gaffe nearly made me suffer a stroke! Thank GAWD the Amish don’t do social media…OOH! – but who can say as to their MAFIA??? [cringes]

    (I won’t pick you apart for the REST of the typos right now, since I’m busy chuckling along with you…)

    • February 12, 2015 at 9:42 am

      You are CLEARLY new here. Read the glossary. http://bit.ly/luvglossary and catch up so you won’t have to “cluck.”