Joni Mitchell the Undercover Brother Totally Gets Blackness
Old people be olding sometimes. You know when you get to a certain age and all your filter has gone down the toilet and you give so few dambs that you’re constantly on a No Fucks Given IV drip? Well, I feel like that’s partially what we have in the case of Joni Mitchell, legendary Canadian singer.
Joni was interviewed by New York Magazine’s Carl Swanson and she dropped some interesting tidbits that have been circulating. And the world collectively facepalms.
“When I see black men sitting, I have a tendency to go — like I nod like I’m a brother. I really feel an affinity because I have experienced being a black guy on several occasions.”
When she was asked to clarify, she pointed them to the cover of her album “Don Juan’s Reckless Daughter”, where she is pictured as a Black man in an afro and 3-piece suit, complete with blackface.
Apparently, she was inspired to do that because (according to Junkee.com):
“I was being butchered by a dentist who was capping my teeth … and one day he said, ‘Oh, you’ve got the worst bite I’ve ever seen. You have teeth like a Negro male.”
I just wanted to pause here to ask what do the teeth of a “Negro male” look like? What part of the game is this?? Lemme just move on. And the Blackface. The answer if you want to ask if it’s ever appropriate is: HELL NO.
And then one day when she was walking down the street, she saw a Black dude “diddy bopping” (which apparently refers to the dude’s walk being kinda weird because one leg was shorter than the other). Homeboy told her “Mmm, mmm, mmm, you looking good, sister, you looking good.” And so she smiled and tried to imitate his walk and then went as him for halloween and got the idea for the cover. And this is basically the reason why Joni Mitchell thinks she’s down with Blackness.
Cool story, bro.
We can play a game of “count the problems” here. She got one too many compliments from a Black man and now she thinks she understands the struggles. Ma’am, you weren’t with them shooting in the gym! You don’t even GO to the school!
Joni Mitchell is old, white and probably has someone she lovingly calls her “dear negro friend.” I don’t even know what to say because she seems to be so earnest with it. You can tell that in her heart of hearts, she really thinks she’s Undercover Brother.
Brother Mitchell will be having “How to Tap Into Your Blackness” webinars. Please sign up for the newsletter at DownForTheBlack.co. Maybe she’ll use Baratunde Thurston’s How to Be Black as a textbook. Because on the inside of every white folk singer is a Brothaman itching to come out to diddy bob (WUT!).
Canada, can you talk to Joni? Because I can’t even. Y’all still owe us for Justin Bieber and now this. Please send all the maple syrup with some waffles so we can talk about this and work on fixing our relations.
Everybody is so damb ridiculous.