TV and Movies

The Watchers on the Wall: Game of Thrones Season 4, Episode 9 Recap

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After last week’s episode of Game of Thrones (The Mountain and the Viper) that left me in hysterics, I was petrified to see what this week’s would offer. The penultimate episodes of the past 3 seasons have left us in shambles so I was bracing myself for the worst. Let’s talk about it.


I Wanna Know What Love Is – Sam and Jon Snow are on top of the Wall when Sam asks Jon what it’s like to be with a woman. Big Boy makes a good point, saying that technically, their vows as Night’s Watch Men didn’t forbid them from having secks, per se. It’s “I shall take no vows or father any children.” The two talk about love and Jon tells him “What did I get for it? An arrow 6 inches from my heart.”

Jon Sam 1 Jon Sam 2

He’s so FAHN and vulnerable. Sam decides to go to the library.

The Boy is Mine – Ygritte is sharpening her arrows, talmbout how she’s ready to kill those “crows” aka the Watch men. The cannibal leader tells her that she’s just tryna give her Love Pocket to the main crow, Jon Snow. She feels froggy and gets all up in his face saying he’s just mad because he won’t get none from her. Then she tells them all that Jon is HER kill.

Kind of a Big Deal – Sam is in the library when Aemon Targaryen (the blind old man) walks in. The two start talking and the old man tells the young one that “love is the death of duty.” He knows he loves Gilly and his regret in leaving her in danger to be possibly slaughtered by the wildllings is clear. Aemond says he was in love once, and Sam lowkey shades him. The dude tells him he was kind of a big deal, as a Targaryen.

Gilly’s Back – As Sam leaves the library, he hears someone outside the gate and he runs there. It’s Gilly! He cusses for the first time and tells the watchman to open the damb gate to let the girl in. As they catch up, the horn on top of the wall goes off. He takes Gilly and her baby into a room to hide them. He must go fight with his brothers. Before he leaves her, they share a kiss.

Sam 1 Sam 2

AW SNAP!!! Sam got his groove back. Let’s hope he’ll come back to finish.

Wild Horses – The horn goes off twice because the Wildlings are approaching. Allister (the Command) is on top of the wall and tells Jon that he shoulda taken his advice to seal off the tunnels. IT’S TOO LATE NOW, BUTTMUNCH! Anywho, he knows he should be on the ground so he leaves to go fight. ANDDDD the giants are approaching with their mammoths. This is just all real bad.

Thus begins the epic Battle of Castle Black. How do I even recap all the chaos, madness and action?

GOT gif

The Wildlings attack the Castle, scaling the walls, killing people with their battle axes and Ygritte is knocking folks out left and right with those deadly arrows of hers. Right as they’re about to get in, Allister gives the men a rousing pep talk, saying that Castle Black must remain standing.

Soon, it’s a full-out battle on the ground as the Wildlings get in. Allister might be an asshole who stays shading my boo, Jon, but the man can fight!

The men on top of the wall are shooting fire-tipped arrows and killing some of the approaching Wildlings. They’re also being attacked from below.

Giant Arrow GOT

At this point, the man that Allister put in command is rambling about how Giants don’t exist. They trick him and say he’s needed downstairs. Then, Jon is in Command and he’s getting his men in action! The punk dude who was told to go downstairs runs into the room where Gilly and her baby is. Talk about breaking your vows. Punk, man!

Sam and his little buddy are tag-teaming. The guy is shooting and Sam is reloading his bow with arrows. All until Ygritte shoots the dude down from across the Castle. Well, shit. Sam is trying to get to the elevator to warn Jon that they need more men when he’s approached by one of the Cannibals. He gets an arrow off right in time into the dude’s head. SAM THE SLAYER FTW!

Some of the Wildlings start scaling the Wall and it’s legit about to go down. However, the men drop some giant knife on a chain and sweep all those ones off. WHOOT!

wall scrape

At the bottom of the Wall, 2 giants and a mammoth are trying to unhinge the 4-inch thick gate that protects it. They tie a chain to the mammoth and as it tries to rip off the front layer, the men on top of the wall shoot it with a fiery arrow. The thing runs away and they kill one of the giants. This infuriates the other giant and he starts working on the gate himself.

Jon turns to one of his closest men (Grenn) and tells him to take 5 other men with him to hold up the gate. The 6 men stand by the inner gate and the giant makes it in (by lifting the iron). Grenn reminds the men of their vows so they can stand strong and defend, even in the face of what is looking like sure death as the giant charges towards them.

Night Watch 1 Night Watch 2

Back on the Castle ground, Allister is slashed but alive. His men drag him inside and Jon reaches the ground to fight. He tells Sam to let Ghost out and the direwolf charges and starts ripping Wildlings to pieces.

Jon starts battling the leader of the cannibals, Styr. After an intense fight, Snow kills him with a hammer to the head. Just then, Ygritte is in front of him with her bow pointing directly at him. The two then share a long stare, as if there isn’t a war going on around them. They share a small smile when an arrow hits Ygritte. It’s from Oliie, the little boy who controls their little lift. Jon goes and cradles his non-boo and gets all sentimental. AGAIN, THERE’S A WAR GOING ON! THIS AIN’T THE TIME FOR FEELS! They talk about the cave where they made love and he says they could go back there. She tells him one last time “You know nothing” before she dies. Aawwwwww.

Jon Ygritte 1 Jon Ygritte 2

Morning comes and Castle Black is still standing. The remaining Night’s men are piling up the dead bodies so they can be burned. They capture Tormund, the leader of this pack of Wildlings for questioning.

Jon reminds Sam that a new battle will happen that night because they’re still outnumbered 1000 to 1. He says he must kill Mance Rayder, who runs ALLLLL of the Wildlings because if he’s gone, then they’ll fight each other. Sam thinks it’s a bad idea to go after him but Jon asks him if he has a better idea. He does not. As the two walk into the Wall, they see the giant sprawled out by the inner gate. They also see Grenn’s body and the bodies of the other 5 men. They kept their word and held the gate.

Jon Snow is leaving to go find Mance and he hands his sword to Sam because he promised that he wouldn’t lose it. Sam’s last words for him are “Come back” but I don’t know how likely that is. The man is leaving without a weapon to go face the leader of a pack of people who have no rules.

comeback sam

comeback jon

Yeah… Jon might don’t make it. And he’s fully aware of it.

The Battle of Castle Black had my heart in my throat for most of this episode. I mean, all that action had my nerves all bad. BUT it could have been worse and for that, I thank GRRM (aka Murder Santa). Jon Snow coulda died. So I won’t complain. Also, episode 9 of the seasons of Game of Thrones is typically the type that leaves you emotionally drained and unable to deal for a while. This was the exception. There were losses and it was still exhausting but I recovered quickly.

There’s only one episode left of Game of Thrones season 4, and there’s a lot that needs to be addressed. What’s happening with Tyrion? Where’s Arya and the Hound? Where’s Danaery’s dragons? What’s Baelish up to? ANDDD where’s Brandon??? We haven’t seen him or Rickon or Hodor in too long!

Jeebs be a fence, take the wheel and hold my mule. I don’t wanna slide off my couch at this season finale so I just hope they take it easy on all of us.

Anywho, discuss! Those of you who’ve read the #GameofThrones books. SHUT YOUR TRAPS ABOUT SPOILERS TO COME IF YOU’RE COMMENTING ON MY BLOG! Don’t make me fight you. That is all. JUST DISCUSS THE SHOW UP TO THIS POINT! Kthx!


BTW, as requested, here are the GIVER OF NO DAMBS tshirts! They’re available for 7 days only so get one on Teespring! Each style comes in red, black and blue. 50 shirts is the goal!


Yes, the B is on purpose. “Dambs” is better than “damns.” I enough people tell me they want the shirt with “DAMNS” though, I might offer it too.

Oh AND the UNABLE TO CAN shirts are now in light colors (white, gray and pink). Get one (or 2 or 3) HERE!

If you’re ever confused about the lingo you see here, check out the Awesomely Luvvie Glossary!

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  1. pup
    June 9, 2014 at 5:42 am

    Game of Thrones gives not nary a fuck about any of our feelings.

  2. Kristina
    June 9, 2014 at 7:10 am

    “I thank GRRM (aka Murder Santa).”

    If this was not completely accurate, I wouldn’t be forced to quit you, Luvvie. DAMB YOU!

  3. Melissa
    June 9, 2014 at 7:46 am

    Game of Thrones should come with a warning! “Warning: This show will make you experience emotions you didn’t even know existed. Please watch from the floor!”

  4. Pulz
    June 9, 2014 at 7:54 am

    Thats was just too much for me. Came here as soon as i watched the episode and damb near had a heart attack

  5. Krystal
    June 9, 2014 at 8:00 am

    I’m not an action movie chic, so I wasn’t into this episode. I was ready for the battle to end so we could move on to other things. I ended up shading this entire episode and gave myself a pedicure… *shoulder shrug*

    Free Lil’ T!

    • mochazina
      June 9, 2014 at 7:48 pm

      yup. cool, but I wanted to see the rest of the country.

    • June 10, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      Yeah…I could’ve worn the Giver of No Dambs t-shirt during this ep! I haz many feels about Jon’s boo thang though…those crazy kids should’ve ran off together! Thanks Murder Santa, smdh. #FreeTyrion

  6. TammyS
    June 9, 2014 at 8:26 am

    It was another good episode because it took another focus. In the midst of the all the fighting, it showed the “rejects” were able to forge a camaraderie and obedience in the dark,dank world they are in many cases forced to occupy, even obedience to a complete a-hole and egomaniac; no backstabbing that is so evident in the bright and cheery places . I loved the boyishness that was displayed, and to Sam, “way to go, smooveee!!”.

  7. T
    June 9, 2014 at 8:28 am

    The murda Santa better not kill off my boo Jon Snow.I survived the death of of the starks,my other boo the red viper,i dont think i have the strength to deal with death of my man Snow..

  8. justme
    June 9, 2014 at 8:35 am

    I thought I’d be bored by this episode but my boo Jon Snow slayed. Now that the redhead trick is dead, he has closure and can move on to better things.
    I know that George R.R. Martin is Satan’s henchman but I have a feeling that Jon won’t die anytime soon. He got that bastard swag that helps him survive anything. Prayer circle just in case though.

  9. NeNe
    June 9, 2014 at 8:38 am

    I have so many questions about Jon though?!?! He in no way acts like anyone’s bastard child and watching him lead last night, all my feels says that he is Robert’s son and the real king of the Iron Throne. I’m way to into this show and books though lol

    • justme
      June 9, 2014 at 9:51 am

      Jon has always been treated like a highborn by his father and all of his siblings. The dude is naturally cocky.
      It’s the outside world (and Catelyn) that loves to remind him that he’s a bastard lol.

    • TammyS
      June 9, 2014 at 10:25 am

      If you are familiar with the conspiracy theory of R+L= J, then maybe Jon is a contender to the “most uncomfortable chair their is recently vacated by King Justin Bieber”.

      • Rex
        June 9, 2014 at 10:50 am

        Just a warning to others who haven’t read the books… R+L=J is a bit spoilery. A lot of the backstory used to establish the theory hasn’t been covered in the show (with the exception of a few off-handed remarks doubting honorable Ned ever fathering a bastatd)

        • June 9, 2014 at 10:54 am

          Anddddd YOU just added to the spoilers. DAMBIT! Yall are really gonna ruin this show for those of us who haven’t read the books. Ugh.

      • June 9, 2014 at 10:54 am

        I WASN’T TIL NOW! Ughhhh!

        • TammyS
          June 9, 2014 at 11:08 am

          I only mentioned it because it is that came about very early. Certainly, and at the point at where the show is, has already covered that ground. Not spoiling and, further it is a conspiracy theory not an established fact.

        • NeNe
          June 9, 2014 at 3:52 pm

          I cant read the books fast enough, they are thicker than the bible!

  10. CNotes
    June 9, 2014 at 8:43 am

    I need a “FREE TYRION” T-shirt with an image of him crouched down in front of an airbrushed backdrop of a Maybach and two champagne glasses while he is holding up the “L” gang sign and a Newport barely hanging on his bottom lip.

    • Bukky
      June 9, 2014 at 11:18 am

      I’d rock the HELL outta this shirt! #FreeLilT!

    • Sassypants
      June 9, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      I would def rock that shirt! Ygritte’s karma caught up with her: she killed Ollie’s parents in an earlier episode.

  11. Carriecnh12
    June 9, 2014 at 9:05 am

    And that Oberyn is how you deliver a speech and slay the monster, yes Grenn and the others died but they held strong and brought the giant down, they didn’t strut around asking for a confession that was never coming.

    “you know nothing John Snow” wildling for I love you, you hunk of a man, My heart was in my throat this whole episode, I was just praying that John and Sam didn’t die and can someone please tell me where in this crazy world did they find a wholly mammoth, I mean we have dragons, dire wolves and now mammoths, what next saber tooth tigers?

    P.s “Six inches from the heart” songs like a great song in the making, should be played at the end of the season 😀

    • June 9, 2014 at 8:48 pm

      @Carriecnh12 ” Can someone please tell me where in this crazy world did they find a wholly mammoth”?
      Right! They still got Mr. Snuffleupagus out here workin? Sesame Street ain’t got no retirement plan, no 401k? Damn shame.

  12. Nikki
    June 9, 2014 at 10:04 am

    Girl, you gotta tell about the foreshadowing though because that’s what made Ygritte’s death interesting. The way she killed his parents and then Sam said to Ollie to find a weapon and fight AND THEN he killed Ygritte! I liked the way that played out.

    Alright… going back to read the comments 🙂

  13. Lova of Thrones
    June 9, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    Yeah this episode wooh I needed my asmuh pump! When Jon aka my baby daddy was saying his good byes I swore he was gonna catch it in the back, I’m like OK she is gone let’s keep it moving.

    This next episode if it goes by the books, chile y’all better get some tissue or some wine but its going DOWN!!!

  14. June 9, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    I am in The Phillipines and currently suffering from #lackofGOT so thank you for this recap, it did the body good!

    • Ronini
      June 10, 2014 at 8:12 pm

      cosign GG. Now that Lovie watches I don’t have to do the one on Entertainment weekly which is well done also. Luvvie just gives the broader view.

  15. AuroraStorm830
    June 9, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    Some who didn’t like the action, I’m TOTALLY ABOUT THE ACTION! I LOVED IT! It was very meticulously planned and executed; every bit of it from the Wildlings’ camp site where Ygritte being a bigger man than the actual men to the little boy killing her and Jon going to the gate and closing ole dude’s eyes. “They held the gate.” DAMN I LOVE IT!

    I was sad that Ygritte died but I loved that she died in Jon’s arms and despite her last words, was in love with him until the end.

    GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! You need teeshirts of Ghost not giving a damb! Ghost had the voodoo for their asses!

    They have a lot to cover in the finale so I hope they come with the heat…you know it takes damn near two years to film the next season…

    • nichelle
      June 10, 2014 at 2:47 am

      YASSSSSSS to Ghost! glad Sam let him out to wreck shop! lol altho, where was he after the battle? and why didn’t Jon take him along? he left his sword, at least take some backup! They bet not have let my direwolf get murked in that battle… *preemptive side eye*
      but i loved this epi!!

  16. Tameko P
    June 11, 2014 at 6:48 pm

    I honestly think they switched the last 2 episodes. This one didn’t have the same punch that “The Mountain and The Viper” did.