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#YesAllWomen: What We Should Teach Boys

The #YesAllWomen hashtag started on Twitter as a result of the 140-page manifesto of the Santa Barbara killer. It detailed his life, his plans and why he decided to go on a murder spree. A good amount of it was him being butthurt about women not wanting to have sex with him.

Anywho, the powerful hashtag really created a space for women to talk about misogyny and how they’ve been affected by it, and has been going on for over 36 hours. Times like this is when Twitter is at its best.

For me, some of the response to the manifesto was troubling and it just highlighted how women are taught how to avoid rape and how to avoid being taken advantage of but men aren’t given enough lessons on how not to rape. And how not to be predatory.

son about consent

If you think we don’t have a cultural problem on our hands, then you should see some of the tweets women have been getting in response to the #YesAllWomen ones. I can’t even and I am unable to even.

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  1. Charlotte
    May 26, 2014 at 11:48 am

    When I tweeted about the street harassment I’ve experienced, a guy said “Don’t flatter yourself” and called me a “poor little angel”. We get harassed and shut down even while talking about being harassed. It’s a mess. Your tweets were on point, thank you for talking about this.

  2. May 26, 2014 at 11:53 am

    This is so important – thank you for sharing – wrote some of my own words on the topic over here:

    Keep on
    love brett fish

  3. Localicious
    May 26, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    The block button and I got thoroughly acquainted the last few hours. Between being told rape is just a struggle snuggle and being called a feminazi because NOT ALL MEN … blah blah hoo ha, I am officially sitting my own ass down.

  4. howlingbanshee
    May 26, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    Lord give me the strength to teach, train, and mentor as many children as possible because trying to have any hope for the current grown folks generation is too much of a struggle. But dear God if my son, nephews, and young boy cousins grow up to be men with enough sense to know that women are PEOPLE! Good Lord if they can just get that little bit of sense implanted in their heads…then maybe they’ll have some influence and help turn this sick world around.

  5. May 26, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    It seems some men are clinging to their misogynist viewpoints with a death grip! Rather than be on Twitter making lame-assed jokes, perhaps he should be somewhere trying to teach a young man or a boy how to be a man. Oh wait…he probably doesn’t know how.

  6. Rampage
    May 27, 2014 at 8:29 am

    I always hate seeing this sort of thing, when some men anywhere try to minimize the demoralizing effect of rape individually AND collectively for women. There is a reason that armies have used it as a tactic of war for thousands of years.

    I do, however, separate that from the boorish behavior that some men can engage in on the street. And I do that because a lot of that is as much trial and error for idiots as anything else and, sadly, too many of these guys are rewarded for their behavior.

    I would not try to be an apologist for these guys but I would like to toss out a fact about why they say what they say: IT WORKS.

    I have spent my entire life respecting women while watching extremely disrespectful men be very successful with women. I still see it now and it floors me. We need to teach boys to respect women and I am working hard on my 13 year old. Some young lady will be lucky to have him.

    But my 3 year old girl? I am raising her strong, teaching her that she is a queen (she actually told me she was a queen yesterday and I told her with a kiss, “Yes baby, yes you are.”) and showing her that no one gets to speak to her in a disrespectful manner and no one touches her without permission. And we need to teach more women that. Sexists and misogynists exist because they are allowed to reproduce.

  7. Tip
    May 27, 2014 at 9:42 am

    Thanks for this post. I will be sharing.

  8. CJ
    May 27, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    You know what I hate? The fact that the killer killed 2 of his room mates and another guy(YES GUY). And the focus is on women like their lives meant nothing and we as a society should always praise women & think of them as perfect little Angels strait from heaven. I also hate when these man hating feminist groups preach their hate by putting all men in the category of this parasite. I don’t know who the Hell you think you are and why your allowed to show your ignorance. I’ve been with a lot of women in my time and ALL of them were abusive(Mentally as well as physically). They lied, cheated. But yet “One” guy does this and all men suddenly do this or think the way this jerk off did. And he didn’t rape any women. He killed both MEN and WOMEN. He was insane. Which ever woman came up with this garbage she really needs to see the BIG in that both sexes felt the brunt of this parasites evil.

    • Mimi
      May 28, 2014 at 7:57 pm


      Another example.

  9. June 18, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    I recently wrote this piece as a guy trying to define ‘rape culture’ which a lot of people seem to be confused about and a lot of men have strong reactions to without taking time to listen and try understand:

    and then there was this lament which was a more from-the-heart response to how this #YesAllWomen story affects each one of us:

    Strength and love
    brett fish