TV and Movies

Mockingbird: Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 7 Recap

Now that you all know I’m officially obsessed with Game of Thrones, recaps will start from this point forward since enough of you asked. Let’s jump into the medieval fray and chat afterwards in the comments section.

Oh and of course there are mad spoilers here so if you haven’t watched this episode, turn back now! SPOILER ALERT!

Game of Thrones Logo

Brother Dearest – Tyrion gets visited by Jamie, who’s mad that he didn’t just keep his mouth shut and take the deal he negotiated with Daddy Lannister. Tyrion, being the smartest tool in the box tells his bro that the deal was garbage because the only person who got what he wanted was Tywin and that was the plan all along. One-hand Jamie also tells his bro that he can’t be his champion. He better call Saul Bronn! Oh and of course I need one quote from my favorite character: “Yes I fell in love with a whore and I was stupid enough to think she’d fall in love with me.” EYAAA!

Moody Mount – Cersei has summoned the Mountain (aka the Mount) as her champion. When she goes to see him, he’s making prisoners his sword practice. She’s all unbothered by the fact that she’s stepping over guts to go say hey to him. I hate Cersei so damb murch!

The Mount. This giant summagoat here.

The Mount. This giant summagoat here.

Old Man and Revenge – The Hound and Arya come upon a burned down farmhouse and see an old man dying from a stab wound. They chat and the Hound gives him a drink of water before euthanizing him with one final stab to put him out his misery. Then, some guy jumps on Hound’s back and bites him in the neck. He gets slain effortlessly and his partner turns out to be some dude who threatened to rape Arya once. She learns his name is Rouge, adds him to her Kill List by saying it once and stabs him in the heart. DEAD. ARYA STARK THE MAIN GOON DON’T PLAY!

Knight’s Denial – Jon an’ em come back from the ranch where they slayed everyone and the haterbish dude who is now Command by default (Allister) makes him lock up his direwolf, Ghost.

Knights Watch 1 Knights Watch 2

UGH! Anywho, Jon tells the Council of Old Men that the giants and wildlings are coming for Castle Black so they should seal the tunnel. They ain’t tryna hear him doe, so they basically tell him to have a seat. “This castle has stood for 1,000 years.” MMHMMM y’all might not last another 4 if you don’t listen to Ned Starks’ unclaimed spawn.

No Champion – Bronn shows up to Tyrion’s cell, rocking a fancy new alphet. Apparently, our favorite sellsword is betrothed to be married to some rich chick that Cersei helped him find. He’s such a golddigger. Tyrion asks him to fight for him and Bronn hits him with the Olivia Pope “you can’t afford me.” Damb, bro. Also, he doesn’t wanna fight the Mount, who he knows will sweep the floor with him. Lilliputian Lannister has no champion to fight for him and I got the sads. WHO GON FIGHT FOR TYRION’S HONOR, LAWD?!?! *wails*

War and Women – Daario, the warrior who stays tryna mack Daenerys (Mother of Dragons aka Dany aka Khaleesi) is waiting for her with flowers in her room. He tells her he had to swim a mile to get em. SMOOTH! He then tells her “I only have 2 talents in his world: war and women.” She tells him to get nekkid and she seems to like what she sees. He’s clearly about to get into her Dragon Pocket.

Love Pocket 1 Love Pocket 2


Red Lies – Melisandre (aka the Red Lady) is in the bath when Selyse (Stannis’ wife) comes in. They talk a bunch and she tells her that a lot of her potions are trickery and then Lord of Light blah blah blah. At the end of the scene, Melisandre tells Selyse that Shireen, the daughter with the scaly half of her face gotta come with them on some mission. I’ont trust her or her red hair. >__>

Post-Pocket Planning – Morning comes (and clearly Dany did too. BADUMTSS!) because Daario is just leaving her chamber as Jorah (her main advisor) comes in. She tells him that she gave Daario a mission to retake Yunkai and execute every Master who owned a slave. He says “It’s tempting to see your enemies as evil but there’s good and evil on every side” and convinces her to find some chill and at least give them a choice to live by her rules or die by the old ones. Daenerys be so ready to goon allatahm! Also: she was probably in a good mood because: MMHMM.

Hound’s Wounds – The Hound is trying to sew his bitten neck back and Arya tells him that it needs to be burned so it won’t become infected and fester but he barks at her because he ain’t tryna have fire nowhere near him. See: his face.

Hound 1 Hound 2

He tells her that when he was younger, his brother (the Mount) thought he had stolen his toys so he held his face into the fire. No one stood up for the Hound, not even their father. Them wounds are deeper than Lake Minnetonka. Arya says she can at least help him wash the bite wound and sew it shut. Aawww their fake friendship is growing on me. This means one of them ain’t gon make it soon, huh? BECAUSE GAME OF THRONES NEVER LETS MY GOOD FEELINGS LAST! But for real. Drogo’s big tough ass died from an infected wound. I hope that ain’t how Hound meets his end.

Breaking Bread – Brienne (of Tarth) and Poderick stop at an inn and as they’re eating, they give compliments to the chef, who happens to be the chubby boy that Arya escaped the camp with (Hot Pie). Brienne foolishly tells him that they’re looking for the Stark girls and he weasles away all uncomfortable. The next morning as they get ready to go on their journey, Poderick tells her that they shouldn’t be running their mouth about their mission to save the Stark girls because the Lannisters got ears and eyes everywhere. Hot Pie meets them outside and says he got some tea. He last saw Arya with the Hound and they were headed to the Wall. Poderick says it makes sense but he also knows that the Catelyn Starks has a sister in the Vale and he thinks that’s where the girls might be.

Unlikely Champion – Tyrion gets a visitor and its Oberyn and his UGLASS yellow sweater coat. He says Cersei has been all up in his ear about Tyrion’s downfall. “It’s rare to find a Lannister who shares my enthusiasm for dead Lannisters.” Then he launches into a story about how he first saw him when he was first born. People said a baby was born who had a giant head, claws, and a tail between his legs: a monster. But when he saw said baby (Tyrion), he was just that: a baby. He wasn’t just there to remind the Little Lannister how much he’s been hated since the day he was born. He was there because he wanted justice for his mother and sister, who were killed and raped by the Mount. He will be Tyrion’s Champion! AW SNAP!!!

Champion 1 Champion 2

I ain’t gon lie. My thug almost quit me during this scene. And then looking at Peter Dinklage’s masterful acting with just his eyes. GIVE HIM THE EMMY ALREADY!

Moon Door – Sansa is in the Vale backyard building a snow castle when her slow ass cousin Robin joins her. She tells him its a replica of her home in Winterfell and he wonders where the Moon Door is. It leads to a tantrum where he kicks the whole thing down so she slaps him. The boys runs away and Sansa knows she’s made a bad decision. As she starts regretting it, Lord Baelish (aka Littlefinger) shows up and says he’ll handle her aunt, whose baby she just gave an open palm kiss to. She asks him why he killed Joffrey and he says “I loved your mother. Given the opportunity, what do we do to those who hurt the ones we love?” Ummmm not kill them. Sheesh! Then, he kisses Sansa and she pushes him away after a few seconds, not knowing that Lysa, the Lady of Vale was watching the whole thing. Aw shit.

Lysa summons her niece into the main hall where she’s standing by the moon door. She tells the girl all about how far folks fall. A scared Sansa apologizes for slapping her cousin (who she’s betrothed to) but the lady calls her a slut for kissing her man. She takes the girl’s head and puts it right over the moon door, calling her all types of names. Then, Littlefinger appears and tells her to let the girl go. She does and then falls onto the floor in a heap. Her “husbun” stands her up and says he’s only ever loved one person in life: “Your sister.” She registers what is about to happen too late and he sends her falling through the moon door into the abyss below.

Lord Baelish Push gif

Summabish. GAHTDAMBIT LORD BAELISH! I mean, I’m not mad but shit! He is brutal as hell! SANSA! Girl! You ain’t safe. You ain’t safe ANYWHERE. That ain’t the man who can protect you. He is pure evil! Littlefinger is allergic to chill. He is unable to chill. Chill makes him break out in hives. He is perpetually chill-deficient. He’s like if Frank Underwood from House of Cards decided to go to Evil College to sharpen his skills.

Who gon breastfeed Robin now? O________________O Iyanla gon need to fix Sansa if she survives all this. Poor girl has been through it!

WHOOO LAWD! I hope Oberyn can win the Mount. He better have more tricks up those tacky sleeves of his.

Anywho, discuss! And if you’ve read the books, please don’t post any spoilers here. JUST DISCUSS THE SHOW! Kthx!

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  1. May 19, 2014 at 2:00 am

    I haven’t read the books but believe Oberyn will certainly kill The Mountain. There has to be some justice somewhere in that (or this) messed up world.

    • May 19, 2014 at 8:08 am

      Yeah Oberyn seemed real hype about it so he gotta do it!

      • T Baby
        May 19, 2014 at 9:43 am

        Did you see the preview…he twirled in that yellow sweater coat like nobody’s bizness! Is it Sunday yet???

        • May 19, 2014 at 9:45 pm

          He twirled….he was off with someone’s head fabulous.

        • Tracey
          May 20, 2014 at 2:25 pm


        • June 1, 2014 at 3:34 pm

          LMFAO, YASSS! *two snaps*

      • Comeletstalk
        May 19, 2014 at 12:16 pm

        I love me some Oberyn. I’m not mad at little finger at all. but Sansa is mad slow like seriously girl, grow a pair.

      • May 20, 2014 at 2:07 am

        Luvie, you need your own show! Like immediately. Late Night Colbert needs to add a segment featuring you.

        I just want to go around quoting this ish right here for like a week. Add it to an instagram/tumblr/pinterest photo of Sansa side by side with that push:

        “Summabish. GAHTDAMBIT LORD BAELISH! I mean, I’m not mad but shit! He is brutal as hell! SANSA! Girl! You ain’t safe. You ain’t safe ANYWHERE. That ain’t the man who can protect you. He is pure evil! Littlefinger is allergic to chill. He is unable to chill. Chill makes him break out in hives. He is perpetually chill-deficient. He’s like if Frank Underwood from House of Cards decided to go to Evil College to sharpen his skills.”

        • May 21, 2014 at 11:04 am

          YES. I am sending this particular passage to everyone I know!

    • lnedykstra
      May 20, 2014 at 10:58 am

      For sure. Miss Oberyn will definitely slay The Mountain.

    • May 20, 2014 at 9:51 pm

      if you think this has a happy ending then you have not been paying attention~ramsay snow

    • Kekanu
      May 21, 2014 at 3:07 am

      “If you are looking for justice, you are in the wrong place” -Tyrion

  2. MsLee13
    May 19, 2014 at 2:01 am

    Lawwwwwd! LOL Really…how unchill IS Littlefinger!? Love it! I’m so dambed happy for you starting these recaps…even if for just getting me to realize alllll these fools/places names…after FOUR seasons no less! Shame on me…but I wasn’t bothering myself with all the nouns when all the verbs were making it happen for me! Kudos, Luvvie!

    • May 19, 2014 at 8:08 am

      Thank ya kindly!

  3. Spoonyluv
    May 19, 2014 at 2:10 am

    I love a good Luvvie recap–iont eem need to watch the show now!!…..imma still watch it,ijs saying tho, lol Sansa ain’t gone make it and it’s gone end up an “all her life she had to fight” situation . Arya is goonin and I loves it!!! The GoT Gods have smiled on Luvvie and and I’m here for every minute! Yes, yes and YAAAAASSSSS!

    • May 19, 2014 at 8:08 am


  4. May 19, 2014 at 2:53 am

    I can’t wait for the following:

    Jon Snow’s wolf to eat the leader of the Night’s watch for being stupid.

    Littlefinger to get pushed through the moon by Sansa (cause she finally is going to get gangster on him and Robin)

    Briene is going to the wall and start kicking giant butt.

    Danys and Cersie met and Cersie doesn’t have anyone who wants to be her champion.

    • May 19, 2014 at 8:09 am

      Brienne is such a bad ass. I love her.

    • StarkChild
      May 22, 2014 at 9:38 am

      Y’all really think Sansa isn’t safe with Littlefinger? I think she’s safer with him than she’s ever been since moving to Kings Landing. Lord Baelish has only ever loved ONE person in his ENTIRE LIFE and that was Catherine, so I’m sure he’d die for Sansa. Yea he’s a creep and old enough to be her dad, but If she’s smart, she’ll play along until she has another viable option. Maybe she’ll grow to like/love him? He’s the only one who has her best interest at heart.

      • May 22, 2014 at 1:44 pm

        Sansa ain’t safe with him AT ALL! He’s the guy who just tried to make out with her. I’m afraid he’s gonna rape her one of these days. She ain’t safe with Baelish!

  5. Marie
    May 19, 2014 at 3:20 am

    Good recap, but 2 quick corrections…. (1) Jon wasn’t Ned’s “unclaimed spawn”. He was very much claimed by Ned, hence Catelyn’s hatred of Jon. (2) Oberyn’s sister and her kids were raped/ murdered by the Mount (not Mother), I believe. Also, I was crestfallen at Jorah finding out Dany had gotten it in with Daario 2.0. Poor guy!

    • May 19, 2014 at 8:09 am

      True, true.

      • CMC
        May 19, 2014 at 9:35 am

        LOL @ “Daario 2.0” the first one was much cuter. Speaking of…did they get a new Mountain? O_O He looks alot younger…

        • Kim
          May 19, 2014 at 10:40 am

          Yes. That’s a new mountain. And Dario 2.0 doesn’t make me want I jump on him like the original (and like he was described in the books)

        • Mel
          May 19, 2014 at 2:32 pm

          No no no. While Daario 1.0 was physically more in keeping with canon Daario, I gotta say that Daario 2.0 is doing EVERYTHING for me.

        • June 1, 2014 at 3:41 pm

          yeah, i miss the hell outta Daario 1.0, HOWEVER…the attitude of 2.0 is giving me a little bit of fever, depending on what he’s doing lol

        • Dev
          May 19, 2014 at 12:20 pm

          I knew I wasn’t crazy! I lowkey argued with my boo about it like “I know who it’s SUPPOSED to be but that’s not The Mount… The one I remember is older and grayer. And we saw him before at a tourney.”

        • Silk!
          May 21, 2014 at 10:57 pm

          Daario Original Release was much hotter than 2.0. 2.0 looks too much like Oberyn’s brother.

          Lord Baelish creeps me out all over the place.

          Also: was it just me or is this the first time that Tyrion has appeared small? Peter acts the hell out of this role.

          And THANK YOU for recapping this show. My TWOP recapper now does podcasts which are okay but I’d rather be reading.

  6. Niah
    May 19, 2014 at 3:40 am

    I know Balish is mad evil. BUT, what I love is how calculating he can be. I mean talk about thinking ahead, and is patience is like no other…well except for thethe bald unic bough. I want to believe Sansa will be safe with Balish
    but she doesn’t have that grimminess needed to excel… she ain’t about that life!

    LOVE Ayra and that big softy’s (the hound) relationship. I’m going to need them to nix going to the dead aunties house – find that coin, say the magic word and hang with magic dude. He was dope!

    Tyrion is mah dude and he’s gonna be aight

    Sooooooo, happy you are doing recaps of this show.

  7. CNotes
    May 19, 2014 at 7:54 am

    I knew that Lord Baelish would off his unfortunate-looking wife at some point. When he agreed to marry her he looked as if he wanted to spew a few chunks at the thought. But, his chess piece was in play at that point (just as he planned it.)

  8. JustPekay
    May 19, 2014 at 8:08 am

    YAAAASSSSSS come through Luvvie! There is a God

  9. Majority Fools
    May 19, 2014 at 8:22 am

    Cersi ain’t never gonna end is she? This is what I needs ta happen: Khaleesi (my boo! I am 8th level ride or die for her) to kill Cersi, Tyrion to kill Tywinn and Arya to also be involved in this mass Lannister murder plot or to kill Roose Bolton (that traitor ass nigga that setup and murked Rob and Catelyn Stark) Also, I’m naming my child Arya. Her goonicity cannot be denied and she deserves to have her name flourish.

    Last thought…….I miss mah Lord Rob Stark and mah Lady Catelyn Stark so much. So. Damb. Much. Rob was fahn!

    • KMN
      May 19, 2014 at 8:36 am

      Rob wasn’t bad looking but it’s all about Jon you don’t know ish Snow…lol


      • Thato01
        May 19, 2014 at 12:14 pm

        And Jon does that thing with his tongue…

    • ASNYC621
      May 21, 2014 at 6:34 am

      I’m a Blood Rider for Khaleesi.

  10. KMN
    May 19, 2014 at 8:35 am


    Gyal I’m so GLAD that you started doing GOT recaps!! I was so into this show that i got the Kindle 5 books series just because (haven’t finished reading them yet though…working on it!!).

    But your recaps are EVERYTHING!! I read them for shows i don’t watch (Scandal even though i just started watching this, anygahtdayumthing on VH1 involving black folks lmao) and i KNOW I’ll be waiting on Monday morning at work to get my fill…

    And yes I love Arya and the Hound (Like Lady and the Tramp or the Fox and the Hound…some morbid Disney type of ish) and my boy Tyrion… If they get rid of him I’m gonna go to GRRM’s door and be like look son why you wanna kill off EVERYBODY dang!!

    And like you I’m still rockin back and forth after Red Wedding…I saw it the day after it aired and was in shock for a week lol…

    TY Luvvie for the recaps!!


  11. Bridgette
    May 19, 2014 at 8:38 am

    “Who gon breastfeed Robin now? O________________O”


    Good riddance Lysa witcho crazy self. Peter Baelish gotta go, tho. He is creating all kinds of havoc. He’s the reason why Tyrion is locked up, he is going to turn Sansa to the dark side. He’s has to die. Swiftly.

    I can’t wait until next week…..well 2 weeks. I’m upset that HBO has us waiting until Oberyn serves up this butt whooping to the Mountain (hopefully, prayerfully).

  12. Mo to tha
    May 19, 2014 at 8:56 am

    “Summabish. GAHTDAMBIT LORD BAELISH! I mean, I’m not mad but shit! He is brutal as hell! SANSA! Girl! You ain’t safe. You ain’t safe ANYWHERE”

    This just summarizes Sansa’s life and my feelings when Littlefinger went all 300 (THIS IS SPARTA) on ole girl. Although lets be real, after breast-feeding that boy for 17 years, she needed to die….for the foolery alone. I was telling my sister, that Robin doesn’t have a chance. His dad was the Mad King and his mom was clearly beyond crazy, so it’s only a matter of time before he’s rocking bagginfof in some dark dungeon somewhere.

    • Kim
      May 19, 2014 at 10:45 am

      Robin’s dad wasn’t the mad king. It was john Ayrn. He was homeboys with Ned stark and king Robert baretheon

    • ASNYC621
      May 21, 2014 at 6:39 am

      Sansa needs to see if Solange is available. Sansa can pledge to murk Beyonce’s career and make her the number one heir to Hadley Street ’cause Solange is about that Third Ward Trill life.

  13. Erica P.
    May 19, 2014 at 9:11 am

    I was consumed with joy when Oberyn said he would be Tyrion’s champion. But since GOT loves to get you all happy then slash all of your dreams to hell, I immediately started worrying. Since we all naturally assume Oberyn will win, there’s a huge chance that he won’t and leave us sliding right back off our chair we just crawled back up onto!

    • May 20, 2014 at 4:51 am

      Agreed. My goon took a time out when Oberyn said he would be Tyrion’s champion. I like Oberyn he’s like Tyrion, they don’t hide no chat, so in your face. That’s why I’m scared one Oberyn might not win.

      My conclusion is George RR Martin hates GoT fans!

  14. JonSnowKnowsEverything
    May 19, 2014 at 9:12 am

    LOOOOL @ how goon Littlefinger is.

    • Tameko P
      May 19, 2014 at 10:06 am

      Yessir. I was telling Baelish to push that bish! I knew Lysa was going to die for messing with his Catelyn substitute. Poor Sansa!

  15. Scott
    May 19, 2014 at 9:38 am

    When The Seven close a window, they open a moon door. Sansa is always hanging with the crazy crowd.

    • Dawn
      May 19, 2014 at 10:07 am

      Ahahahaha love it!

  16. May 19, 2014 at 10:13 am

    Peter Dinklage…..if he don’t win something, Imma re-quit all award shows cause henia ON ONE!

    Lord Balish..that dude right there! He and Cyrus gotta be distant cousins. We need to check the family tree. Cold, calculating, ruthless…. Thats my dude!

  17. blackberry molasses
    May 19, 2014 at 10:20 am

    lord baelish is the most dangerous player on the board, because had he not convinced lysa to kill jon arryn, king robert would have never asked ned to become hand of the king. he would never have left the north and never lost his head, which started the war of the five kings. but moreover, he’s bending even the most intelligent players to his will unwittingly: tywin and tyrion lannister (who he managed to frame, TWICE).
    you’ve gotta go back and watch his “chaos is a ladder” monologue.

    yeah, baelish is the MAN. not bad for a lesser lord from a poor family that are descendants of bravosi sellswords.

    • Chicanica82
      May 19, 2014 at 2:47 pm

      Little Finger Fuck is the one to blame for ALLLLL the delicious mayhem!! His ass WILL survive with just plain patience and strategy…can’t decide if I love him or hate him…he is the definition of “think for yourselfer”!

      I want Jon Snow and Daenerys to end up together and rule it ALL…they deserve that!!

      • blackberry molasses
        May 19, 2014 at 3:12 pm

        if i’m to believe what i think is correct (not in the books so no spoiler alert needed), Dany and Jon are related.
        there’s a theory about his parentage: ned isn’t his father. ned’s dead sister lyanna is his mother and his father is rhaegar targaryen who is dany’s older brother. he was conceived during robert’s rebellion which was started because rhaegar “kidnapped” lyanna who was king robert’s betrothed. ned is so honor bound that its way out of his character to get a son on some woman shortly after he gets married. but not out of his character to promise his dying sister to raise her son by a targaryen and keep his identity a secret so that he’s not in danger of being offed like the rest of the targaryen children. so if that’s correct, then jon is her nephew. then again, targaryens used incest to keep the blood lines pure so it could happen. but i don’t think jon has it in him to rule, since he’s wearing the title of “bastard born” so prominently. its shaped his entire character, so he wouldn’t see himself as worthy. the thing hi

        • MicJ
          May 19, 2014 at 5:54 pm

          Totally love your thought on this and was going with it all the way until I thought this:

          If Jon had Targaryen blood in him his hair wouldn’t be jet black. Genetics are more of a jumble in our day and time, but back then – and especially in this epic tale – they’re more solid and standard, markers and indicators of family lineages (think: all the Lannister babies, Gendry – Rob B’s bastard, Maester Aemon TarG on the Night’s Watch). Therefore, because the Targaryen line is highly incestual, those Stark genes would likely be overpowered.

          But I love how you picked up on how out of character Ned’s “indiscretion” is. I totally thought that when I read book one. Which makes me think…if he isn’t a Stark/TarG mix…who could he be??

        • blackberry molasses
          May 20, 2014 at 11:49 am

          true. but princess rhaenys the daughter of elia martell (oberyn’s sister he wishes to avenge) and rhaegar had martell coloring– brown hair and olive skin, while her little brother the baby aegon had traditional targaryen characteristics. and the stark’s “wolf blood” is also as strong as targaryen blood. its still possible, and entirely believable since ned found lyanna “dying in a bloody bed”… like the bed of someone who had difficult labor.

    • May 20, 2014 at 5:02 am

      Lol. In this clip Varys said the Iron Throne was an ugly old thing: “The Lysa Aaron of chairs.” Dissing Littlefinger’s betrothed.

      • Gilmoregrl4
        May 20, 2014 at 9:05 am

        I NEVER comment…but this made me step out of the shadows….me nearly DEAD! OMG…Funny

  18. Nikki
    May 19, 2014 at 10:28 am

    Did you Google the names as you wrote this? I need to know. I bing-watched this show until Season 4 started to play catch up. It’s all new and I still have to stop and go through my memory banks every time a random character’s name is mentioned.

    I watched this show just for Peter Dinklage and that man STAYS giving me all of the life! I pray to the gods of the game of the thrones that Oberyn beats The Mount because why the good guys gotta die allahtahm!!! After the Red Wedding my heart can’t take it. I cant lose my Tyrion.

    • Nikki
      May 19, 2014 at 10:32 am


  19. Kim
    May 19, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Ohhhhh Luvvie you give me life!!! I’ve read the books so it’s great to see the thought process and then know what predictions are right or wrong (at least so far because the series has started to go off book).

  20. MzWoodz
    May 19, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    When Hot Pocket sat down and started the unwanted conversation with Brienne and Poderick, I had a flashback to the office. We have this one women who doesn’t understand How’s it going does not elicit a real response.

    Back on topic, Tyrion read his brother real quick when he tried to be dismissive of him falling in love with a whore. My main lollypop kid clapped back with the we all can’t be one handed king killers who sleep with their sister. Gotta love half pint shade.

    • Von
      May 21, 2014 at 10:48 am

      My boo Tyrion (aka “Lil’ Swag”) gives me LIFE every week! I swear fo’ gawd, if they kill him off I am DONE!

  21. Robirdie23
    May 19, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    I hit my Kenya “Shady Boots” Moore twirl EVERY time I read a Luvvie recap on any show. I have been WAITING for Luvvie to get on the GoT bandwagon and recap my fav show (AND Scandal of course, Blessed Be Almighty Shonda and All Praises to the Holy Mother Kerry) I was TOO tired of reading those dry ass recaps over at EW and you can never have enough Luvvie recaps in your life.

    Thanks Luvvie for slaying it, I knew you would and I hate that we have have to wait TWO WHOLE FREAKIN weeks for the next episode.

  22. Mel
    May 19, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    Still trying to understand how Baelish hit that.

  23. T
    May 19, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    GoT is THE show! So glad you’re doing recaps & are a part of the Westeros fam!!
    Question for everybody: What do we think is gonna happen with little “Mr. Cleo” Stark headed for that tree in the wilderness…is he gonna walk again?

    • MicJ
      May 19, 2014 at 5:58 pm

      He ain’t gon’ walk again, son…unless he’s taken over someone’s mind and has them walkin. It’s the way of the warg.

  24. May 19, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    I like Tywin as a character. I don’t like how he treats Tyrion, who is EVERYTHING and LIFE-AFFIRMING, but I like and respect Papa Lion’s M.O.G (Medieval Original Gangstaness).

    Jaime’s face when Tyrion asked him to be his champion. “See, what had happened was…”

    Prince Oberon, The Red Viper, with his try-sexual (as in, he’ll try anything) self…YES GAWD. I hope he slays The Mountain. My money’s on Snake Boy because revenge gives you fortitude and vision, and it’ll be a nice plot twist since most expect the Mount to win due to sheer size, cruelty, and bloodthirstiness. I had a fleeting hope that The Hound would hear about the trial by combat and roll back to handle The Mount himself, but that was just a fantasy (although he needs that closure–but maybe he’s too far gone to get right. Some wounds never heal.).

    (and yes…Peter Dinklage had better get that Emmy! He’s earned it since S1ep1)

    I’m over Daenarys. I was a fan when she was discovering herself with Khal Drogo and getting out from under her abusive brother, and when she got her dragons back from those creepy magical twins, but I have been losing fandom during her freedom campaign. She’s like Cersei: the more power they have (and crave), the less they know what to do with it, so they mess up and seek more power to clean up their messes…lather, rinse, repeat.

    Arya Stark FTW! I want her to get to Braavos ,hook up with The Faceless Man Formerly Known As Jaquan, and really start wrecking shop. I like The Hound and his protection-disguised-as-wanting-ransom. He has a soft spot for the Stark girls (remember how he saved Sansa from getting gang-raped in an alley during a riot over the not-lamented Joffrey).

    The Brienne and Podrick Show stays amusing. Brienne…I love she. I have hopes of her and Jaime getting their alliance all the way on, having a bunch of freakishly tall, blond kids who are excellent with swords and other assorted blades. 😉 And Cersei wouldn’t dare come at her, since Brienne could throw her in a perfect spiral across the kingdom grounds and Jaime is almost to the point where he’s about to tell her to kick rocks, twin or no twin.

    I hope Ghost gets to snack on Ser Alison’s salty butt. Jon could run the Night’s Watch better, with one hand tied behind his back. Especially as long as the down-low Targaryan heir (the medical, monk-looking blind man) continues to support him.

    Peter “Respect Mah Authori-tah” Baelish is the chess master to end all chess masters. He’s on some Bobby Fischer/Mikhail Tal ish. Bow down. Too bad he didn’t punt Robin into the moon door behind his mama.

    Sansa…sometimes I think she’s too stupid to live, but she’s showing signs of getting her brain in gear (granted, she was never taught to use it, but she seems to lack the overt survival instinct of the rest of the Stark children). I loved how she reached all the way back to Winterfell for that pimp-slap of Robin. But now that Lysa is gone and there’s no one else to stand between her and Baelish…how long is it going to be before Baelish tries to officially tap that?

    • MzWoodz
      May 19, 2014 at 4:40 pm

      Brienne was a tall as the dawn horse. Geez! Cersei don’t want none. I totally saw her being thrown and caught by them bad as a dragons.

      Robin still crying in the corner with Santa’s

    • MzWoodz
      May 19, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      Brienne was a tall as the dawn horse. Geez! Cersei don’t want none. I totally saw her being thrown and caught by them bad as a dragons.

      Robin still crying in the corner with Santa’s hand print on his face.

    • Vee
      May 20, 2014 at 5:43 pm

      I have died and risen you broke it down chile. Luvvies recap your comment has me weeping!

  25. squashbanana
    May 19, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Oh my god, yes! I am so happy that you are into to this! Here in Austin, I go see it at a bar that plays it on a 25’wall! It is like watching that shit with your best high school friends.Cheering when people get shanked! That gif,Jon Snow aka princess coldstare! My only beef is that when the men get it on we get to see it all, why couldn’t I see Dany get hers?! About falling in love with charecters…just don’t do it girl, George R.R. Martin does not give a damb about who you love.

    • Vee
      May 20, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      The actress playing Dani asked for less skin shots this year. Maybe that is why it was not offered. After seeing her with her husband nelkkid for a full season I can imagine she just wants to be know for more than her tits and ass.

  26. truphy
    May 19, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    Really Luvvie?U binge watch GoT n get the names of all the characters and places yet bn watching from wen it started it but struggling with the same..makin me feel really clever..
    I love Tyrion,i caught feelings wen he almost shed tears wen Oberyn offered to be his champion..
    On this episode my man was Lord Beilish..The man is so evil and does his evilness with so much grace he almost becomes an angel.The man is so dang selfish!hes gotice in his veins!I looove him.he is too bright.
    Can Sunday get here already!!!

  27. MicJ
    May 19, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    Speaking of Stark survival (–> Afrosaxon), can somebody tell me where is Rickon Stark??!

    • Chicanica82
      May 19, 2014 at 9:16 pm

      MicJ no one knows! (Dont mean to spoil) but thats a story line HBO will have to throw in…im soooo interested to see where HBO will go with some characters!!

    • Gilmoregrl4
      May 20, 2014 at 9:12 am

      Yes!!! thank you for that

    • Tomissa
      June 1, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      He’s with the wildling chick in Skagos. At least that’s where they were going when they left Bran.

  28. May 20, 2014 at 4:35 am

    Yay! I’m so glad you are reviewing Game of Thrones Luvvie.

    I really like the weird dynamics between Arya and the Hound even though she’s put him on her shit list she can learn a lot from him.

    I was fist pumping all over the place when Lysa got pushed to her death. Yes! Littlefinger turned out to be the surprise of the whole series.

    I know Lysa is Stark adjacent being Katlin’s sister and it could be seen as #TeamStark are losing again but, this one time I don’t care. I hope he does the breast sucking kid next, I can’t stand him either.

  29. MrsRony
    May 20, 2014 at 10:25 am

    You have made my life re-caping this!! WOOOOO

    Poor Sansa…I still think she may needed to go on and jump after Auntie. Bless her heart but nothing good comes her way.

  30. Tracey
    May 20, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    Out of all of the death surprises on this show, Sansa is the one, I pray meets her end, soon and with flourish.
    How is one person that clueless, and reliant on the kindness/greed of other’s?!!

  31. Stephanie
    May 20, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    SO HAPPY you’re doing recaps!

    I have to tread carefully here as I’ve read ahead, but this week’s show was amazing.

    1) I’ve always been in 2 minds about Littlefinger. I love to hate him. Especially the way he talks..with that sly drawl. It turns me off and on at the same damn time.

    2) I LOVE Oberyn and his coat! Get into it! I guess I’m the only one who finds him sexy. Just me? Oh ok.

    3) I thought they’d changed the actor for the Mount – I knew something in the milk wasn’t clean.

    4) I’m VERY much looking forward to the finale.

    • ASNYC621
      May 21, 2014 at 6:58 am

      Girl, I’m a lady-lovin-lady, but I wouldn’t necessarily throw Oberin out of my bed. I expect him to kill The Mountain.

      Dany’s dragons ain’t gon’ let you come with some fuck shit near their mama. Khaleesi may have blood riders, but she does not have Solange, House Dereon, First of Her Name, Warden of Hadley Street, Keeper of Third Ward Trill, Watcher of the Throne.

      • Stephanie
        May 24, 2014 at 1:19 pm


  32. Cleojonz
    May 21, 2014 at 11:56 am

    Luvvie I’m so happy you are doing these recaps! I have just recently started this obsession having held out for so long. It is so violent and so crazy but all I can think about is when I’ll have time to watch another episode. The acting is just phenomenal. I won’t be caught up by the time this season ends but I just obsessively read the house banners page on wikipedia so I know where things are going. I won’t spoil it though lol.

  33. Chiq
    May 21, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    I know I’m late but umm…. dragon pocket?! Doesn’t that imply that it’s hot? I hope Daario wrapped up… Bwahahahaha

  34. Anika
    May 21, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    “Summabish. GAHTDAMBIT LORD BAELISH!” <— Sums up everything I was feeling when he pushed that crazy bish through the moon door. Little Finger is the GRAND GOON! Little teet-sucking Robin better watch his back…

  35. T
    May 23, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    The best site for Game of Thrones info without Spoilers is

  36. May 28, 2014 at 1:45 pm

    In the spirit of the evil bish Cersei Lannister, I want to share this ear worm vecause sharing is caring (and I’m going to be singing it for the next year you should to).

    Dinklage, Peter Dinklage, Peter Dinklage…

    I question my life sometimes.

  37. Nikko
    June 1, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Yes, gawd! This episode is going to be insane. Poor empty-headed Sansa is about to be made Littlefinger’s wife…unless The Hound and Arya get to her first! I’m pretty sure that Prince Oberyn will best The Mountain unless we get a plot twist where the fight is interrupted…

    Then there is Jon Snow. Poor sexy, smart, well-equipped, natural-born leader, bastard Jon Snow. Will the wall fall because of the folly of old men? Cersei is up next to die. I have not read the books but I’m just so ready for her to be dead. I see that they have been trying to maker her endearing by showing her love of her children and all but eff all that. Murc that broad! I’m just sayin’, though. **shrugs shoulders**

  38. June 1, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    Luvvie the giver of all lives! #thatsall

  39. FeistyRedHead
    June 1, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    I have read the books and waiting on GRRM to finish #6, and still watch the show because it’s great television.. I love your recaps! Don’t worry, no spoilers here.