Target Got Hacked But Our Love For Them Did Not
You know about my love for Target, cuz I wrote a post wondering what voodoo Target does to keep us in their store for hours. Or the fact that you go in for a hair clip and come out with a new closet system.
Well, it’s been all in the news for the past month how Target stores suffered a data breach when their system was hacked sometime in November. It’s estimated that 110 million people were affected and might have had their financial information stolen if they used credit or debit cards there between November something and December something. I am one of those people.
And today, I got an email from them saying that “additional information, including name, mailing address, phone number or email address, was also taken.”
Chile… WUT? I should have read that and panicked but nay. I was all “Aawwww Target keeps us so informed.” I CLEARLY have a problem because the fact that I’m over here making excuses for the store like it’s a toddler who accidentally poured yogurt on my suede shoes. I mean, they didn’t get hacked ON PURPOSE. Mistakes happen. (-___-)
If this is not proof that our addiction to Target is real and a problem, I don’t know what is. I am shopping sheep with a red dot problem. THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS, DAMBIT!
This security breach was pretty major too. But ummm… how many of us were at Target the next week shopping our hearts away? I’m pretty sure I stopped at Target shortly after they announced it, saying WHEEEEEE down every aisle. I’m the person who finds an empty aisle at the store just so I can step on the cart and roll down it with my hands in the air like Leo and Kate in Titanic.
Meanwhile, let WalMart not take ONE coupon of mine and I boycott them for 6 months talmbout how raggelly the store is. But don’t let someone remind me with “You know Target got hacked last week.” Me: “WHY ARE YOU BRINGING UP THE PAST?!? You petty.”
Whenever whoever I’m shopping with says “Let’s go,” I reply with “One minute” as my lips quiver towards the exit.
TARGET IS MY BAE, INDEED! I need QuietRiot to come out with tshirts that say this because I’d buy it. I just wanna build a home in Vermont with Target so we can make jam together.
Not even that data breach could keep me from it. I’ll just take cash next time. Also, they usually have an ATM next to the Pizza Hut across from the Starbucks, so just in case I didn’t bring enough. O______O
Oh Target. They may have hacked your systems but they didn’t hack our love for you.
So ummm… are y’all shopping less at Target because of this breach or are you like me and haven’t learned a lesson? Admit it. We’re family here.
P.S. Target is offering free credit monitoring through Experian for those of us who were affected so I’ma take them up on that offer. Cuz all I got in this world of sin are my sick shoes, my name and my credit.
P.P.S. No, Target didn’t pay me for this post. They don’t e’em know my life like that.