Dear LL Cool J, ‘Accidental Racist’ is an Accidental Failure
LL Cool J and Brad Paisley set the web ablaze yesterday when they released their new collabo song ‘Accidental Racist.’ The controversy and backlash was well-deserved too. I don’t listen to Brad’s music, and hell, I haven’t listened to LL’s for YEARS either. But I need to have some words with the Brother Man, not the Other Man, so LL has earned this week’s sternly-worded letter.
Dear LL Cool J,
Hey Cool James, hey. So you decided to do a duet with a country singer, and that’s fine. Cross-genrefication (I know I made that up) is great sometimes, allowing you to exchange audiences and tap into some new lane. However, THIS collaboration is a fail.
First of all, any song is called “Accidental Racist” is begging for attention, regardless of quality. But then when you add the fact that this one just feels like it lacked a lot of thought, you have a clusterf*ck on your hands.
Brad is talmbout he’s caught between “caught between Southern pride and Southern blame.” Chile, ok. (-__-). And your debut into the song came with the following lyrics:
Dear Mr. White Man, I wish you understood
What the world is really like when you’re livin’ in the hood
Just because my pants are saggin’ doesn’t mean I’m up to no good
You should try to get to know me, I really wish you would
Now my chains are gold but I’m still misunderstood
I wasn’t there when Sherman’s March turned the south into firewood
I want you to get paid but be a slave I never could
Feel like a new fangled Django, dodgin’ invisible white hoods
So when I see that white cowboy hat, I’m thinkin’ it’s not all good
LL, I see you’re outchea tryna speak to EVERYWHITEMAN for the urban youths of America, whose pants hang low. And to show you’re totally hip (O_O) and with the times, you throw in a Django reference. AW LL, YOU’RE SO COOL! (-__-)
When you penned these lyrics, did you pat yourself on the intellectual content? Were you like “HELL YEAH FUGGING RIGHT! I’ma have white folks everywhere really thinking about race relations?” This simple ass verse threw in so many clichés in so few lines that you should get an invoice from Stereotype Inc. Gold chains, du-rags, white hoods, cowboy hats some firewood and a march. YES CIVIL RIGHTS!
Besides the fact that the content of this is so damb basic that I feel personally affronted about it, one can’t help but notice that you are still a firm member of “songs and poetry must rhyme” movement. And all these lyrics say to me is that you lost creativity when you lost cool, rhyming “hood” with “good” twice. Bless your heart.
By the way, your name should now just be LL WOMP J because you ain’t been cool since at least the 1990s. But I’ma leave that alone because that’s just me being petty (and truthful).
And then, him and Brad follow it up with a verse where they talk to each other to settle their differences. LL’s lines are in the parenthesis.
I’m just a white man
(If you don’t judge my do-rag)
Comin’ to you from the southland
(I won’t judge your red flag)
Tryin’ to understand what it’s like not to be
I’m proud of where I’m from
(If you don’t judge my gold chains)
But not everything we’ve done
(I’ll forget the iron chains)
It ain’t like you and me can re-write history
(Can’t re-write history baby)
*facepalm* Wait. WAYMENT. Sir. What is this?
Brad reminds us that he’s just a white man who is a victim of the terrible history his ancestors helped make terrible. While you, LL, tell him you’re not gonna judge him if he doesn’t judge your du-rag. Well, at 46 years old, I’m hoping your grown self isn’t going out in public in du-rags. But I get it, you’re talking for all the black folks who do. Because you know, du-rags are the symbol for urban youths. (-______-)
And then you tell Brad you won’t judge him for his red flag. PAUSE.
Negro listen.
A du-rag is a far cry from a Confederate flag, which is a symbol of the ultra-racist south. You know the one where Black folks were being branded like they were animals? And being sold like cattle? Yes. That one. And you’re fixing your mouth to say you won’t judge him for his red flag. IS YOU STOOPID OR JUST DUMB? In my opinion, he (and anyone else) who is flying that flag in 2013 is placing an implicit (and maybe even explicit) stamp of approval on that injustice and I AM NOT HERE FOR IT.
AND THEN… AND… GAHTDAMB… THEN! You’re talmbout you’ll “forget the iron chains.” You mean the ones that bound us together across the oceans and changed Africans metaphysically into Black people who lost their original homes, languages and culture and had to rebuild one here for themselves?
YOU’LL FORGET THOSE CHAINS??? For what?? To make Brad an’ ’em feel better? As long as they forgive your du-rag and sagging pants, which must signify menace, you’ll FORGET the history. Since it cannot be re-written. Because you know, forgetting 400 years of history is the key to moving forward to fixing what’s been broken into mosaic tiles.
Oh.
The song quickly went from some simple boolsheet to some boolsheet that lacked any forethought, hindsight and present thought. It went from eye-rolling worthy to requesting that you might go have a seat in a chair in front of Uncle Tom’s Cabin. \__ It’s kinda accidentally racist.
It might have had good intentions of bridging the gap between white folks and black folks and race relations but the message was terrible and poorly articulated. Also, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
LL, I need you to go re-assess your lifespace and figure out what you REALLY accomplished with this song. It feels and sounds like a stunt so you got the attention you wanted there.
But you’ll probably say it’s not a stunt. And I think I WANT it to be a stunt so I won’t have to believe that YOU actually believe the words in this song.
I’m embarrassed for you, LL. And for Brad, who is clearly white privilege epitomized and shows it all up and down this song. My shame for you comes with the fact that you used to be a respected voice in Hip Hop and music. Now you’re over the hill, and folks are over your music and you should go sit down over there.
And the fact that you ended the song with:
“The past is the past / let bygones be bygones /RIP Robert E. Lee but I’ve gotta thank Abraham Lincoln for freeing me, know what I mean”
Uncle Ruckus. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE ABOUT?!?
iCan’t.
This song is accidentally racist and a complete fail.
Bye, LL. BYE!!!
Did y’all listen to the song? Whatcha think?
P.S. the song itself keeps getting yanked off YouTube. Here’s a working link (as of 12:32 pm CST).
83 Comments
You called that ninja UNCLE RUCKUS.
*ded*
Yep. Everything you said. Every. Damb. Thing.
iDied at that line.
Tweet that came actoss my TL… @rustymk2: “Dear Mr. White Man..” The dude who did ‘Rock The Bells’ started a 16 like that & votes Republican. My life is over.//I’m scarred. Forever.
OMG Love the Uncle Ruckus reference and I agree with you wholeheartedly!
I saw this on twitter last night and refused to believe it. And then someone almost fooled me with an LLCoonJ twitter account, saying it was just black folk that had an issue with the song.
Where is Canibus?
Where is Kool Moe Dee?
Yeah, LL needs that mic tattooed blasted off his arm (that is, if he hasn’t 8-balled it already in his crossover appeal).
That is a good question. WHERE is Canibus? Because I need him to ETHER the mess out of James Todd Smith for this.
Girl… Cannibus is somewhere crying in a fetal position due to the fact that he brought WRITTEN lyrics, on a big ass notepad to a freestyle last year, that people PAID, on the big pay per view tv, to watch. This was supposed to be his big come back. The poor baby, stuttered all over his lyrics, just couldn’t grab those reigns and stay his course, completely losing face and pride at rocket speed. It was extremely painful to watch. Hip Hop commanded that he take a seat after that. Oh… It was so SO so bad. I can’t even bring myself to paste in the link to said disaster. It’s morally wrong. Girl… so bad.
LL …please go find a place to lip your lips constantly …anywhere but here with this Bullshit ass song! I’m not here for it! No one single bit of it!
Humans do not learn from the mistakes of the past…or maybe we do. One of the most racist songs EVAH in the history of Nashville is Tim MacGraw’s “Indian Outlaw.” iCannot. Interestingly, it caused some backlash at the time, but ultimately propelled TM’s career into hyperdrive.
Maybe that’s what these two yahoos are counting on, a little “no publicity is bad publicity.” Ok. >.<
#Disapproves
Hey everybody, it’s the resident Southern White Girl here to fucking APOLOGIZE ONCE AGAIN for the IDIOTS that take up the same geographic space that I do.
Jesus fucking Christ. This song. Let me tell you something. I know we can’t speak for an entire group of people, and I know tons of white folks (Southern included) that want to PUKE at this song. Totally mortified. But here’s the thing. This attitude in this song (by Brad, I can’t speak for Cool James) is the attitude shared by probably the majority of white people that I know. They don’t THINK they are racist. THEY EVEN HAVE BLACK FRIENDS, YA’LL. But they also don’t see what the BFD is with the Rebel Flag. It’s HISTORY, YA’LL. It’s about STATE’S RIGHTS.
And that is why I’m apologizing. Because these people have absolutely NO perspective AT ALL. They surround themselves with like-minded and like-skinned friends therefore guaranteeing that they will NEVER see how shit like this is WRONG. They just don’t see it. I’m not excusing them. They don’t seek out diversity. They don’t seek out other viewpoints. Hell, most of them don’t even seek out new neighborhoods to live in as adults.
Anyway, this stuff chaps my ass. It’s this passive racism, this “I didn’t cause the issue, so I don’t need to fix it” attitude that makes Brad Paisley think this is ok, and will have every fucking person I know here nodding their head, going “Yea, that’s me! I’m not racist, so that guy is the one with the problem!”
Shameful.
*Rant over. Puts mic nicely back.
Christi – I like you. And agree 100%.
Both of ’em just set both races back 145 years.
JazzT, I like you, too. Because I’m easy like that, lol.
Seriously, this is laughable except that it’s horrible.
Christi, girl. Listen. We go together and you know this. And this comment, yeah. I love you. Never change. lol
Yes, we do. CW+LA=4EVA
Luvvie, we gon’ fight ova this here white girl like Uncle Ruckus and Clayton Bigsby. lol
It’s always interesting to hear from white folks that aren’t oblivious or in a constant state of denial.
I promise, I have heard from people that have echoed the sentiments in this song, and it makes me want to sneak onto the next shuttle to the nearest Earth-like planet.
Trust me, there’s enough of me to go around. No need to fight!
And if you do find that other Earth-like planet, please let me know. My bags are packed.
(Everyday reader; first time commenter…this one brought me allahway outta lurkdom)
I really have nothing to add because Luvvie and Christie said it all, the only thing I wanna say is they can both share this {\____/} loveseat in the Slytherin common room!
Kim, glad to bring you out of hiding because that Slytherin Common Room comment made me choke on my water.
THIS!!!!! What’s even more sad is that there are MANY blacks that feel this way, don’t know our history and want so much to be loved and accepted by the white man. We need to wake up because THE MAN ain’t never been here for us other than to use us as chattel.
“The man ain’t never been here for us”? You have heard of Quakers, correct? That’s part of “the man.” This is exactly the opinion that bothers me. One is as extreme as the next.
You better than me, Luvvie. I invoked the spirit of Sweet Brown for this song.
This fool is Uncle Ruckus indeed!! This man just threw us ALL under the damn bus, tryna get proverbial scraps from the white man. Ugh. I am no longer here for James Todd Smith.
Those gifs sum up my thoughts exactly. LL needs to have a coliseum of seats!
Brad Paisley is not only racist, he’s stupid. He hails from West Virginia–the state formed because not all the people in Virginia wanted to secede from the Union. It’s not even a Confederate state!
I wouldn’t call a man who made a song like “Welcome to the Future” about MLK, Rosa Parks, etc. and performed it for Pres. Barack Obama at the White House racist. Far from it. I just think the song could use a rewrite.
Classic “I can’t be a racist cuz I got 2 Black friends” attitude. He might have performed said song in front of the President yet he STILL made this fuck ass song. Girl, BYE!
Why won’t he just stick to licking them lips and acting? Cuz that last song something about ratchet was another hawtazzmezz.
Seen last night on twitter:
LL just did the musical equivalent to Mary J’s chicken commercial.
LMFAO! #DEADANDBURIED
Why you won’t let MAry cook?
Because chicken might be the only thing she can cook. o__o
Thank you Luuvie. I had no words when I first heard about this but you have given words to my feelings.
Well, just when I thought Rick Ross and A$AP Rocky were the only negroes I’d be disowning this week. Let’s round it out to a threesome.
Nawl, LL. I’m not going to forget any chains, and I’m not gonna forgive the folks who live 4 houses down from me who fly their Confederate flag like they ain’t surrounded by black folks. It’s a symbol of southern pride? Really? Ok then. Everyone in the south, black OR white, go grab you a Confederate flag shirt and rock that sumbish. I’m proud to be from the south too, so…Oh, thats not what yall meant. your argument is invalid.
sn: Virginia now has Tobacco Heritage specialty license plates to go with our Confederate flag ones (they label them as Sons of Confederate Veterans plates, but that just translates to My Whole Family is Down With Being Racist).
+10000000.
“Well, just when I thought Rick Ross and A$AP Rocky were the only negroes I’d be disowning this week. Let’s round it out to a threesome.”
Well, you know what they say about death coming in threes -___- I’m like seriously, is it the new cool thing to go full retard? I simply can’t deal with all these celebs….
Apparently, it’s the return of the minstrel show in 2013. First, the coonery that was The Best Funeral Ever on TLC and now this abomination performed on the muhfuggin Country Music Awards! This simple bastard here.
Ummm one of my ancestors was a white Confederate Brigadier General. However I really wonder if a chocolate lady actually make it into one of these Confederate Veterans’ groups. I’m going to go with a no…
Dammit that was supposed to say a chocolate lady like myself
Please go. And video it. Please.
I’m not going to go down the entire board debating with everybody, but I would certainly like to know your thoughts on the n-word. Because I hear entirely too many black people speak up in disgust about the Confederate flag but will throw out the n-word nonstop and claim we redefined it. One is as horrendous as the other, be it verbally or on cloth. If you’re as repulsed by the n-word as you are that flag, then I can get with your opinion. If not, it’s hypocritical.
Lord Jesus be a fire!!!!!!!
LL needs to be banned from every studio known to man and any and all recording devices. When he came out with that tacky song Ratchet I thought he learned his lesson that song reaked of desperation. But this shit here no sir I will not have it.
When someone tweeted the lyrics forget the gold chains and ill forget the iron ones I actually heard the saints weep!!!
He is a legend one that is now tarnished by his disgraceful lyrics. Just act LL I don’t never want to see a Mic in your hand bruh you are on a permanent time out. Do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars.
The Gifs sum up my entire feelings on this.
Let the church say Amenz!!!!
My question is why not debut the song at the Grammy awards of they were so proud about this subject and the lyrics? Why did they wait to perform this at the Country music awards together? Because they knew they would get booed of the stage that’s why!! I’m in an interracial relationship and I live in FL and even my white husband is offended by the “red flag” as they call it. Also there is NO such thing as an acidental racist. SMH
Change FL to TX, and you could be me. I thought my husband’s eyes got stuck, he rolled them so hard.
“If you don’t judge my do rag. I won’t judge your red flag.” So basically, I don’t care if you openly advocate hate as long as your like my hair accessories. Bitch please. Pick up your chair, put it in the corner facing the wall and have an eternal seat!
You are trying to get me fired. It is UNACCEPTABLE to have laughed as loud as I just did!
Lmao at eternal seat I will be stealing this 🙂
Quick question: Did you feel like Ludacris was “openly advocating” hate when he wore a full Confederate flag outfit?
Ummmmmm….LL, when, I SAY WHEN, is you gon’ realize that yo time is up?!?!?!?! I mean, I was witchu when you made Round the Way Girl, Doin’ It, even Luv U Better…but um, er, uh, you shoulda stopped rapping after 2003, that was yo plateau….Sir, you are wrong for this mess (I won’t even insult my beloved music by calling this that) and I needs you stay on NCIS: LA cause apparently cop shows are washed-up rappers from the ’80s and ’90s thrive (Lookin’ at you, Ice-T!)….The fact that you consciously signed on even be apart of this foolery (never mind that you actually recorded the song)…I jus’…I mean….You just stress me so…….
I completely agree with you, except I still love LL even while he’s swimming in stupidity.
Yes my soul too is bothered that he thought this was okay
@QuitaP: Chile, I cannot blame you, the man is FOINE!!! (Even though his oldest son is my age #dontjudgeme) He just dumb as mutha sucka….
@KemaB: You so get me…*virtualhug*
@Jabari *sends virtual hug back*
It’s a mess. And it makes me sad because I used to love LL. LOVE.
But that’s not why I’m commenting. I’m commenting because when I saw that Lieutenant Daniels gif, I was given new life. And I want to applaud you Luvvie for finding that and reanimating me.
Just one question …. Was Common, or The Roots or Lauryn or any other socially aware lyricist’s phones turned off at the same damn time? Cause anybody else would have been a better choice :-/
Naw it’s wasn’t that at all….Common, even though he don lost his good mind (the beef with Drake -____-), he ain’t even sunk this low YET, Lauryn is prolly somewhere under a Marley, being afflicted with Island Peen Syndrome, and you already know, Black Thought & ?uestlove replied with a firm “HELL TA THA MICKEY FICKEY NAWL” for the brand of foolish……
“Lauryn is prolly somewhere under a Marley, being afflicted with Island Peen Syndrome”
I am deceased. Just murked. iDied at this.
*slow clap*
This shit…this shit right here…this shit right here is a club banger! Why are y’all hatin?!
If I may flex my hip hop muscle for just a second, I might even suggest that they need a hook. Something catchy to keep the summer crowds bouncin’. I’ve pieced together a few lines. Like to hear ’em? Hear they go!
James & Brad gon tell you right
Blacks & whites need not to fight
‘Bama’s the one behind the big desk
That means racism’s put to rest
So hee yo haw and tap yo feet
Now shake yo booty to our country rap beat!
*drops mic*
I. AM. HOLLERRRINNNNNGGGGGGG at your rap!!! OMG! LMAOOOO!
Ooooh-Emm-Geee!! My neighbor just came out to ask me “what’s wrong?” because I cackled so loud at B’s rap. So glad I didn’t read this at work…I woulda been filing for unemployment right now!
I just hollered and woke my baby up XD
I was gonna write this, I swear. But you did it so much better, LOL…This.Is.Hilarious.
However, this song may have given me an Accidental Migraine. I could never hear this again and be quite pleased about it.
Look I fully understand the rachetness of this song …and Luvvie you did an amazing job summing it up….but the economy’s really bad out there…the struggle is really real….brotha man needed a paycheck and sold his soul to the devil…no other way to accepted it….LL what the hell did you do that for? what a fool…I’m totally embarassed for him….hope the pay day was worth it…from this day forth he might as well be dead
Wait wait wait WAIT!
They performed this at the Country music awards!!!!?????
So just like with Rick Rapist’s dumb lyrics NO ONE said That song might not be the best one to sing. The hope that this will provoke a conversation about race was such a weak play. This has people talking about your confused message and lack of relevance in the music world.
LL they put your performance at the end of the Grammy’s for a reason not to save the best for last but to save my DVR from seeing it due the show running overtime.
If you want to talk about race relations TALK ABOUT RACE RELATIONS don’t put out an ill conceived country rap song with over arching generalizations about what black or white people need to forget or accept about the past.
This comment thread may be the most glorious thing I have ever read on the internets. It’s past quitting time at work and i’m still here reading each one and crying with laughter.
I had heard about this, but had no idea how bad it really was. bad bad bad.
Really bad song. I understand the point they were reaching at, but they did not get there. I hated the line RIP Robert e Lee. He is not resting in peace, he was a horrible person, who treated humans terrible, he should be burning. Bad song!
I’m mad as hell that I can’t un-read these lyrics. Or for that matter, un-learn about this bullshit. Fa really real, did this ninja say that he would forget about the chains?! Holy fuck LL you dun did it now.
I thought LL jumped the shark when he was fighting one in that movie Deep Blue Sea with Samuel Jackson. But this just brings it to a whole ‘nother level of ratched desperation.
Why does Brad Paisley resemble a peregrine falcon?
I’ll get to the actual blog post after I figure that out. Truly troubling times for our feathered friends.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! CGP you win for comment of the day! I HOLLERED and immediately scrolled up to look at the pic. YASSSSS!
Hold my mule. If you didn’t say EVERYTHING I felt. And you summed it up perfectly with that Lieutenant GIF. YES!
dead @ Hold my mule!!! I said that at work last week and sent my entire dept into an uproar of laughter.
I can sum this up in a few lines, LL Cool J is a dumbass for agreeing to take part in this song and besides this, I have long noticed that he is no longer black!
Greetings all! Luvvie first let me say….I LOVE YOUR SITE….I try to read everyday, but I have to say this sternly word letter is one of the main reason I can’t at work. I was half sleep until I read this..OMG the Lieutenant Daniels gif…gave me more than life…i cackled sooo hard and loud my supv came to check on me because literally…ichoked!! Thanks sooo much…now I can make it until quitting time. 🙂
OMG and the comments…Maan I love you Luvvie & your loyal readers…You guys keep me sane with laughter!
YESSS! This man definitely deserves one of Luvvie’s sternly worded letters. lol
I simply can’t with this fuckery.
Thank you for writing this. My thoughts were all confuzzled with this damb song and you just sorted them out so nicely.
I am still upset that LLCoonJ reduced our history to a mere bygone. UP.SET.
has ll released any statements explaining himself??!!?
Luvvie, unaccidentally (I know I made that up), I agree with you completely. I was side eyeing the song throughout, and when it came to the red flag part I had to blink and sign-off.
“the power of your humor compels me”
longtime reader 1st time commentor
I kinda knew what I was going to get from you regarding this issue from past entries….what I was not prepared for was “Ms Kitty McInquisitive” at the top….suffice to say that my entire office went into DEFCON 4 when they heard me laughing (6-1 230lb hardly ever smile, keep to myself kinda brotha)…..
ILaughed
IPeed
IGotfired
it’s ok though cause IDied and yet that GIF gives me life
Why y’all so upset? I thought it was kinda cute. I kid, I kid, I kid. Heavens to Betsey. What a complete and utter mess. I have nothing O-o. LL now stands for Loser Lackey cuz this Lady no longer Loves. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!
Some people need to learn their irrelevance is louder than words.LL, boo you need to call 1800SITURASSDOWN. SMH.
This song reminds me a cartoon I say that went through historical events such as the titanic sinking, holocaust and 9/11 saying “Never Forget.” Then it got to slavery and the caption was “Get over it.” I guess Texas wanting to modify textbooks to not include certain things is “accidentally racists” too. No sir re Bob.
I guess what frustrates me the most about this is that racism did not end with Emancipation. The Civil Rights act did not come until 1964- long after my grandmother was born and had my father. Not to mention people are still fighting for equal opportunities today. So you want them all to just forget the hatred they experienced?
The sad thing is we are well on our way to forgetting. Black history has been diluted to those same 10 posters that come out in February. Heck, many of today’s youth don’t even know really who Marin Luther King, Jr. was except he now has a holiday and once had a dream. Instead of creating this gibberish, LL needs to help work to undue this miseducation of generations before it becomes our detriment.
Hi
I agree or at least see where you are coming from. But I take exception with your statement on the confederate flag. It is a symbol of southern identity. It is import for states or collections of states to maintain their cultural identity.
The south is no more racist than any other part of the country. Slavery was an economic institution. based on money not color. Racism and Jim Crow was the aftermath of slavery and the harsh treatment of the north against south.
I am happy that the north won. Otherwise there would probably be a third reich today. But today I would cheer a strong southern block of states and even talk of secession just to reign in an out of control federal government. The federal government was created by the states to serve the states not the other way around.
All right, it looks like I’ll be in the minority on this one but I’m not worried about it. I did not take offense to the song. The lyrics could’ve been better. The beat was clumsy. And the rap could’ve used a complete rewrite. But I appreciated the sentiment. I pretty much went point-for-point about why I’m not offended by the song, but I’ll sum it up here: 1) If you have no problem with the n-word, I don’t want to hear what you have to say about the Confederate flag. Folks swear we redefined the n-word and complete forgot the entire ugly history of it during slavery but we want to spit on the Confederate flag. If you hate one, you SHOULD hate the other? 2) Rappers do songs about killing, robbing, attacking, borderline raping and calling women all out of our name, and too many of us blow it off as “just a song” and “poetic license.” But then we’re dissecting this song word-for-word. I didn’t hear this much backlash about Lil’ Wayne disrespecting Emmett Till. 3) Some of the same people I’m reading complaints about who say we must know our history are ones who give me a blank stare when I ask what’d they do for MLK Day or Juneteenth. You want to remember history? Learn your own. Too many of us bring up history when it suits us instead of knowing and wanting to learn more about it all the time. 4) I do not believe that what someone else did should be my reason to not like another person. Just like I’m not going to hold myself accountable for what every other black women on Earth does, I get where Paisley was going with his comment about not changing the past. Should we forget our history? Absolutely not. But I’m not going to decide to blame an entire race of people for something generations before did.