Dear Stevie J, You And Your Groupon Peen Are The Worst
Today’s sternly-worded letter is to Stevie J, music producer, and now one of the stars of the reality TV show Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (LHHATL). Yes, I’m aware that a lot of the show is scripted so it might not be as “real” as folks think but if he chose to play this fakish real character, he can get my real words about how he presents himself.
I don’t expect most of the people who read this blog to know who Stevie J is but y’all are some ratchetness enthusiasts, so who knows? So lemme give you the background on him so you can know why he deserves this snatch.
Stevie J has a daughter with Mimi Faust, who he’s been with on and off for the past 15 years. In those 15 years, he dated the rapper, Eve, and released a sextape with her. And he was engaged to Whoopi Goldberg’s daughter, Alexis. Those must have been the “OFF” times which seemed to be a chunk. Now, he’s with Mimi for realsies, but is sleeping with his new rapper protegé, Joseline. She just told him she’s pregnant by him and the first thing he said to her was “So whatcha gon do about it?” And when Mimi confronted him about it, he brushed her off, and then cussed Joseline out for bringing drama into his life. And he also threw water on her.
That is the cliffnotes version to the “Ain’t Shit” Tale of Stevie J. Either way, I’m going in.
Dear Stevie J,
I didn’t even know your stranger bish ass until this show, since you haven’t had a hit since Coogi sweaters were hot. You are the reason for cuss words. You are the reason for dropkicks to the throat. You are the pits and your aura is the color of dirty hot dog water. Sir, you are a disgrace. Women aren’t born bitter. They become such after dealing with grown boys like yourself who present a big peen and tiny heart with a cheap idea of what it means to love and be loved.
But tell us. Where did you learn your complete and utter AINT SHITEDNESS? You are excelling at being utterly terrible as a man. You’re a cheating, chauvinistic, thoughtless, shallow shell of a person. Oh and you’re a BITCH.
You’ve clearly been an industry tip drill for years, sharing your peen like it’s community property. And I feel fully comfortable calling you a hoe because you keep digging your tool into random dirt. You should be ashamed of yourself for living a life that is meant to be a cautionary tale to growing girls about the type of men they should avoid in life.
There’s one thing for you to cheat (bad) but there’s another for you to do it without protecting yourself. You rocking UGLASS Gucci newsboy hats but you can’t go buy Trojans?
While you’re using your peen like a damb Living Social deal, you need to use condoms more often. It’s utterly irresponsible for you to be breeding with unidentified species and whoever else out here without thought of who you could be affecting. As you do whatever ho-shit you want to do, the LEAST you can do is wrap up yourself in prophylactics. The gahtdamb LEAST. As you act like all types of STDs aren’t real out here.
Over half of Black women with HIV contracted it while in supposed monogamous relationships and it’s men like you who betray their bodies by laying with others without protection.
I am upset at you, Stevie. Not just because of the fact that your peen has a Love Pocket GPS and it isn’t picky as to where it lands. I’m upset at you for sitting in your wackness and reveling in it. You stay with a smirk on your face, even as you lie to your lady about your infidel ways. You arrogant fool disrespects her further by looking her in the fact to deny your foolishness, even as you hold some other woman’s pregnancy test in your hand.
Your bitchassness is constantly showing and I DEMAND that you tuck it in one of these days. You would never want your daughters, sisters, mom, aunties, nieces to end up with a man like you. You are a classless wonder.
I place some of the blame on Mimi Faust and other women like her who put up with antics of boys like you because of their horizontal prowess. Mimi needs to be lifted up in prayer for boxing with the devil with the Groupon peen, available for any and everyone who wants a piece. She also needs higher self esteem but that’s another letter for another day. These women who have convinced you that what’s in your pants makes you Superman, when all you’ve done is just practiced banging women into bad judgment.
GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT, STEVIE! Because until you do right by the people who love you and the women in your life, everything you do will fail. All you touch will crumble, like your music career is currently doing.
FURTHERMORE AND IN ADDITION TO AS WELL, you are a piss poor excuse for a person for being intensely selfish, arrogant and unapologetically obtuse. You’re made up of BITCHASSNESS with a side of AINT SHITNESS and covered with a crust of BELLIGERENT DUMBASSNESS!
*drops the mic*
P.S. I’d LOVE if y’all tweeted a link of this letter to Stevie J. He’s @hitmansteviej on Twitter. Kthx. 😀
And I got words for Mimi too. Soon come.
That’s right Luvvie, I’m glad you handled this “on the rip.”
He is definitely a piece of work. I’m praying that it is 85 percent scripted work. How can any man get on television and purposely disrespect and embarass his woman/women?
Even if it’s scripted, aren’t the overarching situations at least real?
Something tells me that he don’t mind beating on a woman.
ME TOO! I just KNOW he doesn’t mind putting his hands on women too.
I was thinking the same damn thing. You can tell. He straight told Joseline boo boo kitty, “I got papers on you, watch what you say” – I got that feeling about him. He comes off as a woman beater.
Mimi’s arms are too short to box with Stevie J’s peen, which is why she stays losing. Looking forward to your “Hey girl, hey…” letter to Mimi.
LMAOOOO at her arms being too short to box. YES LAWD. I will be writing her one very soon.
Yo, I despise this ninja. Like, he’s almost a character in Tyler Perry play. And, Mimi…oh, Mimi. Sigh. Just sigh.
Not almost. HE IS a character in a Tyler Perry play. He’s the one whose girl always gets violent revenge on at the end after her “Come to Jesus” moment.
Say it girl!!! If you don’t mind, I will tweet this. You are speaking the truth right here…
I’d love if you tweeted this and passed this on. Thanks!
When I saw what he did to Jozilla last night I’m like I know he beats her. I could tell by their body language that he beats her. Treats her like a hoe on the track and gives her the anna mae eat the cake every other morning. He is foolish. His whole appearance makes my eyes dizzy. I can’t stand this corny boy wonder. I’m just like this can’t be real . Mimi really your only staying with him for whatever finances because clear he aint shit but a dolla! ugh!
LMAO at Jozilla! HAAAAA! But yeah, he intimidates Joseline in a way that makes it feel like he’s hit her before. This idiot here…
Steeby used to be a pimp. Jose said it in between him wanting to put her back on the track and complimenting her while holding the pregnancy test : /
and mimi’s dumb ass just sittin there actin like the bottom bitch. iCain’t with him and his wayward penis! I am convinced that he (and ray j) keep std’s alive! I swear!
Just had to come back in disgust! Then he told (lil scrappy-*shudders**) babymama (ohlord this is ratchet) she aint that bitch. first of all that is something one hood chick says to another not a 45yr old man to a twenty something woman. WHO DADDY DID DAT! ugh i cant stand this lil squeem!
RIGHT!!! RIGHT! iCan’t.
I do not watch the ratchness but your letter is awesome. Not only to Stevie J and his peen but to some men whom follow this lifestyle.
Yes. This letter applies to so many men in the world.
I haven’t even finished. I just had to say I HOLLERED at “dirty hot dog water!”
Ok, now I’m done. I agree with EVERYTHING you said. I HOPE this is totally scripted. If not: 1. Please get Joseline (and maybe Mimi too) into a battered women’s shelter because EVERYTHING about Stevie’s demeanor SCREAMS wife beater. 2. Heaven help us all for encouraging this living caricature by watching.
I know. We’re part of the problem but this hood telenovela has captured me.
LOL. I’m saying.
Welp. If that ain’t ripping him a new one I don’t know what else is. Despite all of the characteristics you’ve said above, the dude is also CORNY as hell. He has no presence, he’s a bamma and he’s CORNY!!! I still can’t get that girls fall for him. He’s a goofball and I hope his thang falls off.
Oh yes. He’s uber corny. I don’t get his appeal beyond that bulge. But before women get to experience the bulge, don’t hey get turned off by his corniness??
Thank you Luvvie for putting into words all that frustration that was running through my head when watching this last night.
What type of man is this? Throws water on the girl, threatening her, and still remembers with his “aint-shitness” to comment on how nice she looks before he leaves her in the middle of the street…WHAT?
This is the type of man who does the devil’s work while he’s here. He is a disaster.
I saw this episode purely by chance, when I was with my cousins over the weekend (it’s the only episode I’ve seen). Stevie J is the most cornball, insincere son of a bitch ever in life. When he laughed at Mimi after he denied sleeping with Joseline and her Mush Mouth talking ass I wanted to throw my shoe at the tv. This fool’s eyebrows are insincere. He wouldn’t know a genuine emotion if it put up a sign on that damn curl in his uppper lip.
I gave up on this show half way through the first episode…but do love your recaps with all the sideyes..lol BTW, I read this entire open letter screaming it…in my head. Because that “classless wonder” makes me angry!! And please do roast Mimi to for enabling that foolery!!…carry on!
Everything about him and shim’s convo screamed “wife beater” to me. He wanted to slap Joseline upside the head so bad, and she was shaking. He probably doesn’t even need to hit Mimi anymore, but she needs to go anyway. And *random* who forgot to teach K Michelle about inside voice?!
Yesssss *waves church fan* then he has the nerve to tweet “in every man’s life there is drama & the other woman”…”other woman”? Singular?!!! His ratchery rivals Desmond Hatchett, the guy with 30-scratch that after a head count-24 kids. Things like this have me talking to myself and I say “Self…let me stop watching this foolery *peeking with one eye* bc if some condom malfunction of a male tried this on me I’d be fit to go Sofia-color-purplesque on his behind and Fore da Lawd “I’d kill em dead” with his wet rat lookin self
You know how I knew this man was an asshole? He answers questions with questions. He has also thrown drinks on Joselina (probably because he couldn’t sneak in a slap)
OMG! THANK YOU FOR THIS POST! I absolutely hated it when she told him that she was pregnant and by the way he was talking it seemed as if he was trying to pressure her to have an abortion. Nothing wrong with abortions but that’s her choice not his. He’s a low-life who thinks he can use his musical power to use women. He ain’t shit! His old ass needs to retire. He’s one of the main reasons why I decided to stop watching the show.
This guy sounds like a walking STD! Lord help any woman that comes across his path.
Just drove by a billboard in Miami that says “Cheating? useacondom.com” and on the other side it says “Cheated on? freeHIVtesting”… they need to put that billboard in Atlanta and Stevie J and Mimi should drive by it DAILY. There isn’t enough 20% in the world to get rid of HIV. http://twicsy.com/i/RtUdGb here’s a pic of it
This letter is making me ALMOST want to break my vow and watch a “fakality” show because I need to see if male pattern bitch-assness can actually exist on this level.
I swore I would NOT watch this ratchet foolishness but when your post lit up my inbox I caught up on the foolishness!
Lawd HE IS A MESS!!!!! Your letter about his peen, Mimi’s self esteem and black women’s HIV stats are ON POINT!
I know we’re mad about Stevie and how carelessly he lays the pipe but this is such a teachable moment for all of us. We are the gatekeepers and they can only share and partake in their worn out Groupon peen if we let them.
Where is the letter calling for all of these shows that reinforces the negative stereotypes of black people to be taken off the air? There are several people watching these shows. 1) People who see the foolishness and shut their tvs off. 2) people who are watching the show and saying, but that’s what we expect. 3) people who are watching the show and taking notes because they think that kind of behavior is acceptable. Mi done!
[…] rarely discuss the drama that surrounds reality TV shows here but since the internet is a buzz with the latest Love and Hip Hop episodes, I can’t help but chime in with the obvious lessons in love and money for women. I […]
Hi all!! Just happened upon this blog last week!! Awesome!!! Just very well put together, great articles, hilarious commentaries….so i say “hello” to all.
PS was it me, or is stevie js peen discolored, aka, infected?
I’ve never watched LHHATL, but consider “Groupon Peen” stolen
Groupon Peen sems very popular with the Twitter FanFolk:
Black Osborne @leecrowe
I had too! S/O to @hitmanstevieJ cause he’s straight running my cable box right now! Click –>> Stevie J. Is A Robot: http://wp.me/p2r1sm-jK
About his twitter name. When has the last time THAT occurred is what I’ve been asking. Lol tell him Luvie.
[…] EBONY.com. Also, if you missed my sternly-worded letter to Stevie J from last week, getchu a piece (Dear Stevie J, You and Your Groupon Peen are the Worst). Here are my remaining thoughts that I couldn’t fit there because a homie got word counts to […]
I tweeted @hitmanStevieJ and asked him how has no one stabbed him in the neck with a pencil yet…but he deleted it. But he didn’t block me…I’mma try again next week.
BTW I cannot WAIT to hear your review of the ratchetness that is LHHATL every week, thank you!
[…] J (Not That Stevie J) but Steve Jobs hated strongly disliked the idea of a 7″ tablet. But the rumor mill keeps […]
What I want to know is if you have not already when is the letter coming to Rhiannaman? Some one need to school her that being a side chick is not something you aspire to in life.
[…] Dear Stevie J, You And Your Groupon Peen Are The Worst […]
[…] Dear Stevie J, You And Your Groupon Peen Are The Worst Share this:TwitterFacebookStumbleUponDiggEmailLinkedInTumblrPinterestLike this:LikeOne blogger likes this. Tagged: black unemployment, Chico Norwood, Elevators, negative images, negativity, Outkast, rap music Posted in: Education, Guest Blog, Hip Hop, Music, Social Consciousness ← There Is A Clear Difference Between Being From The Hood and Being a HOOD RAT Damn! You Changed On Me!! → Be the first to start a conversation […]
[…] Dear Stevie J, You And Your Groupon Peen Are The Worst Share this:TwitterFacebookStumbleUponDiggEmailLinkedInTumblrPinterestLike this:Like2 bloggers like this. Tagged: black unemployment, Chico Norwood, Elevators, negative images, negativity, Outkast, rap music Posted in: Education, Guest Blog, Hip Hop, Music, Social Consciousness ← Long Hair, Do I Care?? Be the first to start a conversation […]
[…] of your cousins got Stevie J’s face cut into the back of his head. AND IT LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM!!! iCannot. Sometimes, i wish we […]
[…] at first and then grew to love her. It bonded us over our shared disdain for Stevie J and his groupon peen. We cheered for Erica because we wanted more than Scrappy for her and side-eyed Mimi for having all […]
I agree totally this guy is a complete dirty dlck and mimi defo needs to get herself checked..even in season 2 she’s back in stevies bed at the start sharing him with that ex prostitute joseline (rumour had it her ex pimp died of AIDS related symptoms) who’s was working the track since 13!!! whether theirs any truth to this I’m not sure but wudnt suprise me lol..Mimi is really doing my head in she is a real bad doormat get a grip biyatch
Y’all dont Kno Stevie at ALL dont go by the TV its just to entertain y’all he’s really not like that in real life