I Caught Up with Season 3 of Love and Hip Hop ATL’s First 3 Eps
After I saw the trailer to this season’s Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (LHHATL), I was geeked up and ready to get back into the drama of these fools. We all know that the name of the show isn’t relevant because these folks are really a bad example of what love looks like and they’re all only marginally successful (at best) in Hip Hop. Well, with the exception of Stevie J.
I don’t care, though. I had missed Joseline an’ ’em. So I went on ahead and watched all three episodes of the season since I didn’t catch them while on vacation. I am all caught up and here to give you the happenings.
* Joseline and Stevie J are now married, and they did it at a courthouse on June 29 last year. Now, she’s ready to wear the fancy white dress and be the blushing bride. Oh and they got a new house that looks like the train station where Harry met Dumbledore after he died from Voldemort’s spell. It’s all white and shiny.
* Scrappy is now with Bambi, the chick who won’t quit until she appears on every VH1 reality TV show that is currently on. Momma Dee ain’t feeling that pairing and she’s still doing her best to be Jafar from the Lion King. Scrappy is still suffering from Aint Shitness, a chronic disease that lets you go to another woman’s house at night time and think it’s ok but you know it isn’t because you didn’t tell your girlfriend. His “friend” Erica had candles all lit up, setting the mood. Meanwhile, Bambi’s apparently pregnant now because Mona and them filmed her picking up an EPT all dramatic-like.
One day, folks are gon realize that condoms are our friends. Especially when the man we’ve only been with for 3 months couldn’t keep his peen in his pants if he was getting paid to do it.
* Erica got a new boo named O’Shea and she said he’s a professional model. Yup, and I’m a rocket scientist. O_o He’s the anti-Scrappy, apparently and doesn’t drink or smoke. He is also mad corny. Dude was taking off his shirt at the bowling alley while rocking a snapback with “O’Shea the Model” on it. But here’s what caused the pause. After their date with Karlie and her boo, he asks Erica for her card to pay the bill. I hope she knew in advance that she was gon be footing ALL their bills. There’s nothing wrong with us ladies paying from time to time but this dude seems like the one who will conveniently say he forgot his wallet. On 5 dates. I bet he got bad credit too.
* Mimi and Nikko are in lust and she’s so comfortable with him that she makes a sex tape and leaves it with him. According to Sid the Sloth, he left his camera in his luggage when they traveled and it got stolen. The tape “leaked” so they thought to make the most out of it by signing a deal. Then he told Stevie J and they almost fisticuffed because of it. She still says she trusts him even though it’s clear that he leaked that shit but when they get into an argument about it, she jumps out her car in rage and walks.
That is dumb as hell. How are you gon put yourself out your own property while the idiot you’re mad it is sitting comfortably in the passengers seat? That is what I call hustling backwards. Mimi perpetually needs a mentor.
* Karlie is dating Yung Joc and trying to force him to move in with her because she doesn’t trust him. She figures that if they live together, she can keep better tabs on him. The woman is such a damb pigeon and a caricature hoodrat. Someone should make her the protagonist of a street lit book because that’s what she’s committed to living her life like. And then she goes in the studio with Jeremih (wut?) and they start flirting all heavily. As they get all close to each other, Joc walks in and hell breaks loose as they proceed to cuss each other out.
He says he ain’t moving in with her and she shrieks like the bird she is. Oh hood love… they’ll be back together next week probably.
* Rasheeda has a new baby (Carter) and Kirk is still unsure whether the baby is his. Oh and he doesn’t want her to get back to making music and he doesn’t want her mama (Shirleen) babysitting. He says he has a problem with her kissing the baby on the mouth, which I get. I hate when folks do that. Anywho, because he’s a terrible human being, he goes behind Rasheeda’s back and tests the baby. Surprising to NO ONE, Carter is his, and he’s so bold in his degenerateness that he wants to take the results home to show her but Benzino burns it and tells him he’s being disrespectful. I really wonder how she hasn’t kicked him in the face as he sleeps. He is *Jean Ralphio voice* THE WORST!!!
Speaking of Benzino,
he still ain’t retrieved a neck from somewhere he’s with some chick named Althea now and they met on Twitter. She’s a singer who says she’s signed to Def Jam but you know. She might be lying. Bless their union, doe. Him and Stevie J are talmbout opening “Sleezy and Zino’s Bistro and Bar.” Oh Atlanta… never change.
There’s also Tammy, Waka Flocka’s girlfriend on the show. Chile… womp.
So that’s been the gist of what’s happened so far. I’ll be back with my regular recap of each episode on Monday.
Have y’all been watching this season’s LHHATL?
Sadly..the bistro is/was a very REAL thing.
I hang my head as I sips my sweet tea for my city. JESUS!
Can we discuss how Yung Joc called Karlie Shonuff (from the Last Dragon) during the foolery in the studio?!?!? When I tell you I fell ALLAWAY out laughing. Man listen, he was wrong for being so right about that.
Exhibit A – http://www.retroist.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/shonuff.jpg
He was so spot on I slid out the chair and could not stop laughing.
Nope. Just Nope to all of it. LOL
O_o Am I the only one on Earth that is #TeamScrambie? I actually think Bambi is time enough for Scrappy.
Mimi has a very very low self esteem, Nikko is not a good actor it’s so apparent he leaked the flick, but his comments to Stevie was so foul, he’s so childish I just have no words for that man, you got money now!! Get your teeth fixed, get that damn piece of dirt off your cheek removed ugh I can’t!!! Also umm karlie and yung joc, I can’t this girl is constantly chasing a check umm excuse me I meant a man. This nigga ain’t had a hit since it’s going down and you trying to tell me you all in love BYE FELICIA, scrappy needs to quit that baby needs attention from women which I can understand cuz prolly during childhood his mama was sending her imaginary guards to chase imaginary minions from her imaginary castle…. Ariane is serving that straight up girl you is a porn star hahahha she’s killing me softly with her candor love it. My conclusion Mona Scott Young probably lives in a all white neighborhood that only allows one black family (you know affirmative action rights) cuz this is the most ratchet shit on TV hahaha she don’t want to be around us.
Girl, I coudn’t have said this better myself. Yes, I am a faithful watcher of this smut and can’t get enough of it. Thanks for the recap. And you can’t just call Stevie J’s house a house…it’s “The Palace”.
This show is a disgrace to Hip Hop
Next week, Stevie J and Joseline’s fake marriage and house gets exposed by the lady who use to work for them.
I just don’t understand these black folks who get on TV, talking about all this money they have, and but yet got Child Support cases, foreclose homes, empty refrigerators, and air mattresses. It makes me wonder “Myssdee, why do you watch this dumb shit?”
It is one of those shows I watch to vent…but the more I keep watching…the more I am letting these Tweedle Dees and Tweedle Dum Dums become popular in the United States of America.
I am just as bad as the party promoter who pays them $1500-3000 just to sit in a club with ONE bottle of a champagne equivalent to Bartles and James but cost $200 due to markup.
What do I do? What do I do?
Idk about their fake marriage but it’s no sector that on most of the ATL shows the people actually rent the homes so idk what she’s exposing about that. ATL is known as a place where you can floss the lifestyle you don’t really live b/c it’s filled w/ celebs but it’s cheap to live in.
Lord, please forgive me…but why did iDie when Stevie J. said to Nikko during their fake almost-fisticuffs, “Don’t nobody wanna see my babymama…she 50.” (*My instructions on precisely what to be buried in can be located in my bottom closet drawer in the right corner, thank you. 😉
This, precisely. Kiss my kids for me!
And he said something about getting new socks! LOL #iliveforstevie
YES!!! And he said it like he WASN’T trying to play her!!! **cackles**
I was eating when I heard that line and that almost had my food all over the table
This is sooo silly and minor…but Jafar was from Aladdin, The Lion King villain was Scar. Either way, Momma Dee is the pits. 🙂
The point at which I needed stitches, you say? —–> “The woman is such a damb pigeon and a caricature hoodrat” baaaahahaha!
Totes using this in future dialogue!
I hate you for:
1) Bringing up Benzino’s lack of neckage…
2)”Ain’t Shytness”-which now I HAVE to find a way to work into every sentence. Thanks..
3)”Hustlin Backwards”-no ma’am….
4) Alladis…..I have tears for real! I’m DONE with you!
*slow-walk away, over-shoulder eye roll, hair-flip*
Dee and all of you are complete fools. I am laughing so hard. Love the dramatic room leaver…except when I saw “hair flips” why did I initially think flip flops. I could see the drama of leaving with the “flip flap” sound echoing. *dead*
I love the Tammy and Waka “honorable mention” S/O at the end. Hahaha!!!
Momma Dee calls Bambi…”The Bambi” hahaha lawd hab mercy!
Karla Redd allowed Youngin to call her all kinds of bytches and still trying to be with him, GTHOH
Anna Benson said Stevie J stole all her furniture while she was in jail, she said he was suppose to be putting it into storage for her until she got out and she say it on the show, her Versace dishes and all! Whoo lawd
Did anyone notice that Jocelyn said they were married at the end of July and then July 29, but Stevie answered June 29?
I was hoping someone would mention that Tiara! I definitely heard it and was on pause.
I just need Scrappy and Erica to stop calling their daughter “E-Money.”
This!!! It aggravates me when they say it like that! lol
Has anyone seen the gifs on VH1 about “the bambi” and the eggs??? hilarious, I hate that I am contributing to our foolery that is already over flowing but please go see so I don’t have to die alone!!!