Disney Loves Single Parenthood and Princesses Who Make Piss Poor Decisions
I am a Disney fan, and I grew up watching all the cartoons like so many others did. Disney is basically an institution that’s wrapped all up through my childhood memories but when one thinks about their movies, you’ll realize that they aren’t all honky dory.
Disney movies are ALWAYS about some major loss of a loved one. ALLATAHM. The central character of every Disney film or cartoon always suffers a loss that’s super close to them and life-altering. And most of this loss involves the character’s parent. The instances where a character has a mother, odds are there’s no daddy. There are VERY few Disney films where the main character has a complete nuclear family. Disney is the reason for single parenthood.
Disney killed Bambi‘s mama, Simba‘s Daddy, Cinderella‘s parents, Snow White‘s foster parents, Cruella‘s edges, etc. Ok I’m pretty sure Snow White didn’t have foster parents, but you get me. They stay slaying loved ones in their films. I guess Disney’s tryna tell kids “Life ain’t no crystal stair.” These emotional films of theirs stay having us in our feelings. You can barely watch one of their films without looking like this:
I don’t know why but Disney doesn’t love having mothers in their stories. In fact, methinks that the absence of mamas in their tales allow their main characters to make these piss poor decisions they’re known for. The lack of a female figure to look up to is central in some of the tragedy of these stories so I guess I get it. Mothers have a special way of snatching our wigs into better decision-making. No shade to fathers. You’re also important. There’s a REALLY good post on Suite101 about dead and missing parents in Disney flicks and what it could mean. You should read it.
Most of the Disney princesses were motherless too, including Jasmine, Belle, Snow White, Pocahontas, Ariel, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty. Maybe if they did have some strong lady role models, they’d know better than to make some of the choices they did.
I love the ladies but they were more flawed than scratched glass. Let us go through each one and see why they were basic.
Ariel (The Little Mermaid) – My girl gave up her voice so she could have legs so she could pursue Eric. Desperate, much??? Girl, he ain’t e’em worth all of that. And her voice was beautiful. She coulda went on “American Idol,” got famous and got a man who could pay for her fins to be turned to legs. I’m just saying. There are other ways!
Jasmine (Aladdin) – A whole princess who marries a thief whose only possessions are a flying carpet and a sassy monkey. Girl, I guess. You are TOO FAHN to settle for such rubbish. Yes, I know Aladdin’s hair was thick and luxurious and he had a 6-pack but there are others! Besides, the carpet ain’t e’em have no seat belts. Folks out here risking life for love.
Pocahontas – She slept with John Smith, the man who brought small pox and oppression to her tribe. Ok girl. I hope it was at least good. O___o John Smith wasn’t e’em all that cute for you to sell out your people over him.
Belle (Beauty and the Beast) – This victim of Stockholm Syndrome fell in love with the man who tried to kill her daddy and kidnapped her. What made her heart flutter for him? He gave her the key to this damb library. GIRL NAWL! I’m a lover of books as much as the next person but that was just some simple ish. Oh Belle… Cracked.com wrote a piece that talks about this called “5 Romantic Movie Gestures That Were Actually Dick Moves.”
Snow White – Methinks she was hallucinating those dwarfs. If I was stuck in the woods by myself, I’d think up 7 friends too. If Tom Hanks could have a BFF volleyball named “Wilson” then Snow White can certainly imagine 7 vertically-challenged beings living with her. I ain’t mad. The brain has many coping mechanisms.
Cinderella – Her prince clearly had a foot fetish. And, if I drop my glass shoe, I’m going back for it. DAMBNAT! They’da seen me in the palace in rags at 12:02am, holding a glass shoe and talmbout “Yeah I had to come back for this. IT’S TOO FIERCE TO LET GO!” Besides, if she danced with this prince all night, why doesn’t he remember her face? Did her fancy up-do REALLY serve as a mask? Lemme find out some Fairy Godmother-designed threads shroud your face. If I’m your true love, you better remember doing the wop with me for hours!
Sleeping Beauty – This poor child was in the predicament by no fault of her own. She got killed by an evil witch and the only thing that brought her back to life was when a random dude stuck his tongue down her throat.
Mulan isn’t on this list because she seems to be the anti-Disney princess. She got her mama, daddy, granny and cricket to help her with her daily life. AND she was probably the one who made the least bad decisions. In fact, she was a G! Homegirl went to war to save her daddy and her country. Go’n ‘head, MU!
And Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your lacefront!
So yes, these motherless children made some epically bad decisions all in the name of love and other random themes. But the lack of moms in Disney movies is definitely obvious. Was Walt Disney working through some feelings? I sure do wonder.
But then again, I know a lot of Disney films are based on old fairy tales and orphans are common in them, and so are huge tragedies. And at least they clean up some of the endings. In the original story of “The Little Mermaid” apparently, Ariel dies and Prince Eric marries someone else. OOP. WELP.
I still love Disney though, for the memories, in spite of the fact that they’re racist, sexist and anti-mothers. They do epic movies that tug at your heart strings and leave your eyes sweating as if your pupils ran a marathon. But did they have to kill Nemo’s mama like that? Dang.
Anywho, what Disney princess do you think made the poorest decisions?
Edit: I didn’t include Princess Tiana in this because I only remember a little of that story (and have seen it once).