BET Awards 2011 Recap: The Show Was… I Got Questions
I don’t know. I really don’t have one adjective to describe the 2011 BET Awards. It was entertaining mostly because of the live-tweets from my Twitfam. But if I was sitting in my living room without the world’s commentary to keep me company, I probably woulda spent the whole 3 hours with this stare. :-|.
But I did have hella questions from that show. Starting with the pre-show. AND I had to share some of the foolish tweets from my Twitfam.
BET Awards Pre-Show and outfits
Picture from NecoleBitchie.com
* Why was Rocsi dressed like Tonya Harding, in that skater’s #alphet?
* Why did I not know MOST of the people who performed? Who were all those stranger bishes? Am I getting old or did I just stopped giving a damb bout Hip Hop?
* Why didn’t Free comb out the curls after she took out the rollers in her head? It’s aight though. She’s bout 78 but still looks 25. I ain’t mad.
* Who was that Lil Twist fella and why was his haircut so ridiculous? AND why was his microphone autotuned?
RT @mychalsmith I don’t know what a Lil Twist is, but I hope he both keeps his shirt on and stays in school
Deacon Cannon. Picture from NecoleBitchie.com
* Why is Nick Cannon always dressed in some deacon board suit? He STAY looking like he just got done directing the church Qwa at the regional competition.
* Why come (yes, why come) NOBODY was dressed for the same occasion/weather? The event was in LA. Folks had on turtlenecks, tank tops, ball gowns, shorts, tuxedos, lingerie… NOBODY MATCHED!
* Why was Lloyd’s hair so juicy? And I wonder if BET gon send him a bill for the reupholstering they gotta do for their couches backstage. I KNOW for a fact he stained them couches with all the activator in his head. Soul gloing negro…
RT @ladyw87: All of my lesbian curiousness comes out when i see Lloyd
* Why did Chris Brown get so many shoutouts during the pre-show? Did his publicist promise folks favors???
* Why did Wiz Khalifa looks like a military roach with that camouflage on? His war on RAID spray starts tomorrow.
* Why were Keri Hilson’s boobs so oppressed in that corset? Her poor boobs were screaming from that too-small top.
The BET Awards Itself
* Did Mary J. Blige wear K-Swisses? What were those boots on her feet? And also, didn’t she give you 90s fever??? YESSS!!!
RT @lovecrissle: YES FOR OLD FOOD STAMP MARY!
* Did anyone else think that Mary J.’s voice was gon give way midway through her duet with Anita Baker? I’ont think her voice is meant for Baker music. All that hollering. Just me? Aight.
* Was DJ Khaled wearing a towel jacket? And why is he tryna bring back windbreakers? He had on 4 different ones during the show.
* Why was Kevin Hart barely taller than the 8-year old dancers on stage with him? Bless him. Why was I pleasantly surprised that Kevin Hart was soooo funny? Dude entertained the heck outta me.
* Why did Chris Brown come on stage to receive his award while rocking a #sequence scarf around his neck? Looking like a fashion conscious armed robber.
* How much did Rick Ross pay for that Versace curtain he wore as a track jacket? I mean, it was nice… And why did it take him all of 4 minutes to expose his titties to let his areolas free. He is one very confident fat man.
RT @MikeScottJR: If Janet Jackson can’t show her titties on TV neither should Rick Ross be able to
* Who was the other dark dude with long locs on stage with Lil Wayne? Everyone answers: Ace Hood. I never knew he existed.
* Do The Smiths’ DNA have unicorn tears and essence of phoenix? Jaden and Willow winning the same award in a tie lets me believe so. That and their general moneymaking power as a family unit.
* Why do I wish that Househusbands of Hollywood skit was a real show? I’d watch THE HECK out that show if it existed.
* Did someone check on Lil Kim after Nicki Minaj won the “Female Hip Hop Artist” award? I figure that somewhere, Lil Kim is kicking down the mop she’s s’posed to be using to clean up aisle 4 at KMart because Nicki won. Lil Kim is PISSED, yall. Someone go get her computer from her. She just threw her 500 free AOL hours CD out the window. Homie is MAD!
* Didn’t Jill Scott GIVE with her performance? Jilly from Philly looked good too. WERK!
* Why was Justin Bieber at the BET Awards??? And folks be talmbout Affirmative Action ain’t real! (-___-)
* Why were the Five Heartbeats on the stage without having practiced? They didn’t know the dance steps NOR the words. All I saw were shuffling and confused shiny suits on stage. And I see Robert Townsend has been eating.
All them shiny suits…
* Why was Diddy Dirty Money dressed like they just came from an all-white party at the Hamptons? And why was the girl who ain’t Estelle rocking that hairstyle that made her face look even stronger?
* Why did Chris Brown look like a gray penis when he first came out to perform? Those pants made his legs look like balls. I was concerned. Then he changed into a black onesie. Had it been shiny, he’da looked like he was #payamish to Missy Elliott in the “I can’t stand the rain” vidjo.
RT @BasseyworldLive: Michael Jackson did not die so that Chris Brown could ride one of his Llamas like a show pony.
* My girl asked “What has Busta Rhymes been eating?” Everything.
* Why was Alicia Keys’ coiffure so frizzy? That #StruggleHair was distracting me from her performance, which was good enough. Although I do wonder when “Falling” will be off her “to perform on award shows” set list.
RT @swinfrey: Mashonda’s spirit did that to Alicia Keys’ hair
* Does Justin Bieber use Motions setting lotion? His wrap is SO proper. Can’t nobody rock a swoop bang like that boy.
* Why did that exchange between Nicki Minaj and Justin Bieber make me feel so uncomfortable? Who thought it was a good idea? It just gave me the heebie jeebies. Ew. Related:
* Who writes these award show presenter dialogues??? And why are they always so awkward? And why haven’t they hired ME to do it for them? Seriously. One of these award shows needs to hire ME to write for them so their dialogues won’t make puppies howl in pain. SO AWKWARD.
* Why didn’t I even realize Kanye West was nominated for an award? When he won, I was all “oh yeah.” Kanye was prolly somewhere scowling in the front row of some international fashion show. He ain’t have time for BET this year.
* Why did Johnny Gill think we’d give a damb bout his album that’s coming out. Johnny, just… nawl.
* Why did I think Cherelle was Traci Braxton at first? Dead ass serious. SMH.
* Why did Trey Songz miss EVERY note he tried to sing? Where was Sandman Sam to come take him off the stage? At least til his balls drop and his voice stops cracking mid-sentence. Did he lose his voice with his braids? Ol’ Negro Samson face.
* Why was Kelly Rowland‘s intro so weak??? Did they HAVE to wrap her set into Trey’s. And why come they never make her sets all elaborate? It just be her, her long legs and a coupla backups dancers. Hasn’t she earned a bit more fanciness yet?
* Why did I see Kelly Rowland’s abs and immediately dropped down and did 50 crunches? Them joints are so impressive!
* Was I the only one impressed by how Steve Harvey‘s head was SHINED to the dome GAWDS! I ain’t mad. Looking like a chocolate Homer Simpson. I SEE YOU, STE’E!
RT @Vandalyzm: one day that nigga gonna come on stage dressed in one big ass button. I promise
* Why can’t anyone rock a slicky ricky like Rev. Al Sharpton, Patron Saint of Permed Principles?
* Why does Donnie McClurkin talk like he bout to church shout at ANY MOMENT? *trembling, anointed voice* “Meeeeeeddddiical records…”
* Why is it that everytime I see Mary Mary, I scowl because they’ve ruined “Blame it on the Alcohol” for me? I feel like Jesus is judging me if I’m doing hoodrat ish to that song. Mary Mary, all I ask is that you no longer sing club hits and add the word “Jesus” to it to make it gospel. ‘Sall I ask. And I only like one of the Marys. The other one hollers too much.
* When the Braxtons came on, why was Toni rocking that awful hairhat looking like “these bishes always wanna sing with me?” And why was Tamar tryna make sure her voice was strongest? And you know Traci was in the back doing a *fist pump* talmbout “Finally!”
RT @bomani_jones toni braxton gets the percy miller award for keeping her big ol family employed
* Why was Gladys Knight‘s hair flying above all the haters in that ponytail of hers?
* What was that contraption on Cee-Lo‘s head? That fool is the one who flew over the cuckoo’s nest. For realsies.
* Why did Marsha Ambrosius come thoo and SLAY??? She better come on with that falsetto for Jesus!!!
* What did Shirley Caesar have on in that Patti LaBelle tribute??? She was looking like she going to a Quincenera. And did she have a gahtdamb CAPE on her quincenera dress? YES SHE DID! iCan’t.
RT @lovecrissle Shirley looking like the Good Witch of the Projects. We gon let her make it.
RT @Jus10tyler: Shirley Cesar got on her wedding, funeral and bet award dress
RT @youhypesikenah somebody give shirley a wand and some sprinkles
* Why do I love Patti LaBelle so much? She got on that stage and called Marsha a “big heffa” with so much love in her voice. And then she sang. YES PATTI! You better flap them wings. And she slayed hoes effortlessly. SHE IS LEGEND!!!
And did y’all get a piece of her green slingback loubous??? You damb right she ain’t kick THOSE off.
* WHAT. THE. HELL. HAPPENED. WITH. THAT. MISREAD. AWARD????? That girl got up there and said the fan fave award went to Chris Brown. Then Rihanna. Then Drake. That was THE MOST AWKWARD moment I’ve ever witnessed at an awards show. After Kanye’s foolishness, of course.
This was her tweet after the debacle.
And then at the VERY end of the show, they came back to say Chris Brown DID win it. BET is bootleg as all the dambs. And that chile’s Twitter got blown up. She went from 5,000 followers to 22,000 and counting.
* Why did Rick Ross, DJ Khaled, Lil Wayne and Drake perform SO many times??? Is Jeremih on voice rest? Did Ciara pull her back doing the matrix bend for the millionth time? Were there NO other artists available to perform?
* Why did BET make folks wait 3 hours for a Beyonce performance that wasn’t in person, wasn’t live AND already streamed on YouTube AND has been available for random watching since yesterday afternoon? Folks were in that auditorium watching gahtdamb YouTube performance they coulda just watched on their smartphones.
But kudos to Beyonce for getting paid twice to do one performance. She is a TRUE hustler.
The 2011 BET Awards were three hours of repeat performances showing mediocre artists doing mediocre things with a few exceptions. Twitter made it entertaining.
What did y’all think of the BET awards? Do you have any questions of your own? What was your favorite performance, if you had one?
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58 Comments
THIS…just everything u said.
WORD.
I woke up my entire crib rollin’ at the Chris Brown penis part. That’s a wrap! I can’t even handle it right now!! I haven’t laughed this hard in a good minute!!! I got to see bits and pieces of the show, and gladly missed a lot of this mess.
You gon have your family mad at me. SMH!
Ditto…this comment had me laughin for several minutes!
I didn’t even see Chris Brown’s outfits, but that has me rollin’ right now. HARD. 100% right. I turned to it ’cause I wanted to see Anita (missed her), but stuck around for the majority of the rest of the foolishness.
CBreezy looked a mess. That is all.
Listen, Patti is every damn thing to ME.I was in my room during that tribute and crying. She is drserving of so much more than a BET Award. But we’ll take it.
-Alicia Keys has no more times to sing Fallen. Not one,I screamed at the TV, “just fall already. Damn!”
-I’d like Trey to retire because…well because of the obvious reasons.
-You are so right Kelly has worked hard, can she get some damn glitter thrown on the stage? Some water falling from the sky? A chair?
-When I saw the Five Heartbeats, all I could hear was, “ya’ll sure ya’ll want old Eddie Kane?” I just wanted to get on that stage and help him out. While everybody was turning, he was trying to stand up straight. Oh Eddie…
-Kevin Hart is funny as hell, “where is Craig Mack?!” LMAO!
I saw the show after everybody else because I was at work, but caught up on the tweets I missed while watching it. It was ok. Like you said Luvvie, without Twitter it wouldn’t have been the same. I probably wouldn’t have watched the entire show. I have the attention span of a six month old.
Patti LaBelle is THE TRUTH! And yes, she does deserve more than a BET janky award. She has others too so I aint mad. A. Keys needs to just let “Falling” go. And Trey? O_____o. They stay treating Kelendria like a stepchild. Them Five Heartbeats were TAHD.
I didn’t see the EBT awards… As I have spent the past 72 hours as a mimosa sipping party music coma fruit fly with my friends (SF pride is the stuff made of legends, I believe!). But reading this was the perfect cap-off to my weekend. See this why I can’t watch their community center churchs chicken catered bs anymore. Is winning a BET award even considered a compliment? It’s like being cast in a movie with Vivica A. Fox. Smh…
A 72 hour mimosa party sounds like an awesome way to spend the weekend. You aint miss too much w/ this show.
OMG if you didn’t kill me with the AOL cd! My mama had bout 3011 of those doggone things and used them ALL before she finally had to pay for the #innanet. And she used to get on me about using up too many hours.
I don’t have a Twitter account but awards shows make me want to get one.
Didn’t watch the awards. Have no desire to. But I do wanna see the Shirley Ceaser dress and Cee-Lo’s outfit. I’m sure they’ve been posted somewhere by now.
You KNOW those AOL CDs were gold back in the days. 1,000 hours in one month and folks thought that made sense. 1,000 hours? When do you want me to sleep, AOL???
But yeah, award shows make Twitter accts worth having. Folks cut A FOOL.
i just died. hilarious sis
Thanks, boo!!!
All this, and no mention of Free’s ass? Or Weezy’s Appollo Creed shorts? But mainly Free’s ass…
I might actually dedicate an ENTIRE post to Free’s ass. If I mentioned it here, it woulda taken up half the post. That ass was epic!
Jill Scott gave me life last night, but I swear your Twitter feed from yesterday and this blog post today made me nearly lose it numerous times. Why are you trying to kill us?
Jilly sho’ll did GIVE life. And I’m not tryna murk yall. I’m innocent. *adjusts halo*
Luvvie, thanks girl….I don’t watch award shows, but between this and my FB friend’s updates, I have been slayed and ready to be laid to rest….
*revives Kay* *fails* I’ma say some very nice words at your funegro. Cuz I’m kind like that.
I only saw the Patti LaBelle tribute with her sanding to the high heavens only part that was worth my time. I literally waited for your post Luvvie. Every year this is the best part of that Coon-tacular Special. I am in tears!
You saw prolly one of the best parts of the show, so kudos. And *curtsies*
I’ve been lurking your website for months, but I just had to come out the shadows for this.
LMAO I can’t even watch BET anymore.. I just can’t deal with them anymore. Thanks for telling me what I missed– Which really wasnt anything :/
YAYYYYY!!! I’m so glad to see you delurk. Don’t be a stranger.
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And I fell out when Nicki said, “I didn’t expect to win this.” And the audience laughed so hard they had to catch their breath.
LOL the whole audience did cackle at the same time.
CeeLo was paying tribute to that old school Patti hairdo. Hell he probably borrowed that wig from her.
Was he??? Chile that’d make sense. That man is a plum fool.
I didn’t even watch the BET awards but felt fully informed simply by reading my timeline for 2-3 hours… They should PAY US for watching the darn show and tweeting about it…that the ONLY thing that makes this show worth it…
I’m glad I could watch it for you. Seriously. Twitter is the only thing that made it really entertaining. By itself? NAWL
Debra Lee was dressed from the Denise Huxtable Presents Gordon Gartrell Collection.
….don’t worry, I’ll wait.
*cackles*
YAASSSS!! With the finest assymetrical silks… lol.
1. The Smith kids tie and the Diddy Dirty Money win don’t PROVE that you can pay for these wins…but they make a good case.
2. Debra Lee looked like a chocolate chip cookie.
3. I said the SAME THING about Fallin! NO MORE!
4. I cried and couldn’t breathe for a few minutes when I saw someone tweet that Alexander O’Neal had a wisdom tooth and that’s all.
5. My INSTANT reaction to that award mishap was that they set that girl up. NO WAY that was a “mistake” that just so happened to involve CB and Ri-Ri as opposed to the other nominees. Nope. BET is the DEVIL.
LMAOOOO @ all of this. YES GIRL!
Meagan Good had to gone and grow up since Lauren London is back from maternity leave. She is the new aged ghetto girl. I wonder if Meagan passed on the how to look 16 when you 30 tips to Lauren….doubt it!!
Nawl. Don’t think Meagan is getting grown. Just last week, she was at the club in see thru leggings and shirt. SmH.
DDDDAAAAMMMMNNNN GINA!! YOU RIGHT!!! I had hope!! She gon’ be in see thru tights again later today I bet…just walking down the street!!
Just saw Shirley’s dress. Smh She looked all kinds of weighed down in all that fabric!
All that taffeta and tulle. Shirley know that dress weighed 10 lbs.
Hola Luvvie,
Since Twitter and FB exist I have no reason to watch the tomfoolery that BET puts out. I am sort of upset that I missed Kevin Hart, who I hear was quite funny. I expected as much and sort of felt compelled to watch because I’m from Philly. I heard good things about all the Philly exports so for that I’m happy.
Even though I missed the ratchetness I did catch a glimpse of Cee-Lo who looked like a chocolate butterball turkey.
I agree with everything except Cee-Lo loved that he went all out in his tribute. LOL! But seriously I couldn’t watch this mess if it wasn’t for Facebook and Twitter. Too much foolishness for my delicate sensibilities.
Am I the only one who generally enjoyed the show, despite a few fails (which I notice happen on White award shows too)? I don’t know if Black folks want BET’s award show to just become just a Black version of the mainstream ones… I mean I know that’s not what you’re saying… but any Blk award show is gonna be a little ratch bc we have ratch celebrities. It’s no getting around it unless they only invite your favorite pegro celebrities. I mean to be comparative… can you guys think of an award show you actually enjoyed in the last five years? I’ll wait…
Yup! I actually enjoyed last year’s BET Awards. See my recap here. The title of the post is “BET Awards was Actually Good.” So yes, it IS posslbe to enjoy one and I don’t go into them wishing to hate it.
You can stop waiting now.
I meant beside the BET Awards (-__-)
*besideS
And I was speaking in terms of the the general sentiment. Much of my timeline was like Yes lemme get ready to talk about how shitty this awards show is finna be. I’m like O_O. Oh.
Welp since I don’t have tv and refuse to waste my wireless service on the BET website, I thank each and everyone of you that lived Twitted this hot mess. This was the funniest thing in ages that I’ve read. Ya’ll had me laughing with tears in eyes. Thank thank everyone.
I have just one thing to say. Why is it that on every BET award show, we’re forced to see nakedness (ie; Rick ‘double D’ Ross, Lil ‘bird chest’ Wayne) that nobody but a mother or a significant other should be forced to see!!! Rick Ross was wrong on so many levels. He was… SMDH…just wrong. And if I have to see one more butt crack showing through a pair of ‘draws’, jumping around on stage like a bunch of…*heavy sighs*. I’m sorry but sometimes less is so much more. On a high note, I could have watched Patti all night. I. Love. Her! Always classy!!! A true legend and almost everybody else on the show needs to take notes!!!
http://youtu.be/tiHmXwKvymo
[…] the best recap (and has some twitter commentary) was from Awesome Luvvie! Click here to read this awesome […]
As in previous years, you did NOT disappoint w/ your recap!!! You had me at work cracking up!! Coworkers probably think I’m crazy. I sent it to my friend, she is now subscribed to your blog!
They surely do need to let you write for the awards because I only saw maybe an hour, and there were awkward moments, especially that exchange with Hosea Chanchez, Megan Goode and Pooch Hall. That whole time I was like “Huh?? Neither was believable.”
Keep up the comedy….LOVE your blog!
Thanks a lot, Angel. And thanks for passing it on to folks. *DJ khaled voice* You DA BESS!!!
You fuggin slayed this post!!!! I can’t stop laughing!!
Thanks chica! 😀
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Loved, loved, loved this post! I never watch the aintshytness that is the BET Awards (or BET, for that matter); this blog post and the live tweets and Facebook updates are usually all I need to keep me posted on what the freggin’ hell kind of coonery BET has been up to…thanks, girl!