Whose is this?

Whose Birthday Cake is This?

I found my newest guilty pleasure in the website NoWayGirl.com. It is NOTHING but epic foolery in picture form. I came across one of their pictures and my side-eye was so strong my eyes hurt afterwards.

Guns Birthday Cake

Wait a minute. Wait a GAHTDAMB minute. IS that a cake with pistols, shotguns, bullets and grenades??? FOR A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL??? Y’all are really putting weapons on the celebratory dessert of a little 6-year-old girl? I mean I know every little girl’s birthday cake doesn’t have to have pink flowers and princesses and barbies. But this NRA cake is NOT IT.

This is the definition of losing. WHY would they think that’s ok? I just don’t understand. Like how did the conversation where her mama ordered the cake from the bakery go?

Mercedes’ mama: Hey I’d like to order a cake for a birthday party
Bakery: That’s no problem. What would you like on the cake?
MM: Umm… can you all put like guns and bombs on a cake? Can you draw it?
Bakery: *pause* Umm sure we can. Interesting request.
MM: Yeah, she really likes weapons.
Bakery: Is she in the police force?
MM: NAW! Not yet. Maybe when she gets a bit older.
Bakery: Oh ok. Well what would you like exactly?
MM: Well, how about a couple of pistols, a shotgun and a grenade?
Bakery: Ok, we can do that in black icing
MM: That sounds good.
Bakery: What would you like the cake to say?
MM: “Happy 6th Birthday Mercedes.”
Bakery: Hmm… I think our connection went fuzzy. What did you say you wanted?
MM: *louder and slow* “HAPPY. 6TH. BIRTHDAY. MERCEDES.”
Bakery: Did you say 6th???
MM: *getting aggravated* YEAH YOU HEARD ME!
Bakery: *long pause* Umm….. ok. It’ll be ready at noon on Tuesday.

I know whoever fulfilled this order went home and told folks “You wouldn’t believe the cake someone ordered today.” The cake wouldn’t be TOO horrid if it wasn’t for a kindergartner or first-grader. Poor Mercedes. Her parents got her gangbanging on a dessert for her 6th birthday. WOMP. I hope her birthday was more peaceful than this cake is indicating cuz…

Anyway, WHOSE CAKE IS THIS??? Can we do better as a people? These are important questions.

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  1. mochazina
    May 3, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    *le sigh*

    • May 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm


  2. Diva
    May 3, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    As a cake decorator myself, I am WEAK!! WTH is wrong with folks. I was asked to do a cake with throwing stars & ninja stuff for a 9 yr old and the only reason I didn’t give the side eye was because I personally knew the kid and his mama! But a 6 yr old girl all thuggdafuggout??? Nah. Pass on that order.

    • May 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

      People need to learn to decline clients. This is just…

      • DiaShoni
        May 3, 2011 at 12:23 pm

        They can’t, though, because someone will holler discrimination, and there will be a lawsuit.

  3. Christi Wampler
    May 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm

    What I’d like to know is, are those bullets made of fondant or are they the real thing? Can you get them in a kit at Williams-Sonoma?

    • May 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

      LMAO!!! Christi, gerrout. —–>

    • May 4, 2011 at 4:59 pm

      HAHAHA! classic!

  4. Roxie
    May 3, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    A little to much fat shaming for me on that site, but this cake needs to be over on http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ like yesterday

  5. May 3, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    Are we sure this isn’t a 60th birthday cakewreck? Or maybe a 16th, for some kid who needs to stop playing Mafia Wars?

  6. Lite Bread
    May 3, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Yer Mostest Awesomelynessis,
    Why, didn’t cha know?
    That was the centerpiece for the 6th child, by the 8th baby-momma of Waka Flocka Flame …
    “Luv Dem Gun Sounds”

    L “Boom Boom” B

  7. Kelechi
    May 3, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Honey gurl chile! Thanks to you I found a new den of ratchednes lol! I don’t need this in my life :p

  8. May 4, 2011 at 9:55 am

    as you always say
    *wall slide*
    i can’t i can NOT understand people at all…

  9. MissMaryMack
    May 4, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    I put a Miss Celie curse on you and your whole household for introducing this site into my life. Now I gotta go through all 380 pages before I can get back to work. If I lose my job I will be sleepin on yo couch!

  10. May 4, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    LAWD, to be a part of the phone order conversation or a fly on the wall if this person actually ordered it in PERSON. *palm rushes to face*

    • May 5, 2011 at 6:00 pm

      Complete *face palm*

  11. Jen
    May 5, 2011 at 3:13 am

    This cake instantly reminded me of a cake I saw a couple years ago. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-believe-children-are-our-future.html

    I also saw a Playboy bunny cake for a little girl once….tragic. Is it wrong to hope an older family member slapped the mother up the side of her head at the party for this mess?

    • May 5, 2011 at 5:59 pm

      Noooooooooooooooooo!!! Not a Grand Theft Auto cake for a 4 yr old. What is wrong with people??? And Playboy bunny??? iQuit.

  12. Bridgette
    May 5, 2011 at 7:29 am

    Oh my Jesus………thats all I can say.

    • May 5, 2011 at 5:59 pm

      Call on Him!

  13. ABG
    May 5, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Maybe, just maybe the cake is for an adult woman who is celebrating her 6th year as a member of NRA, or as a person employed in law enforcement. Again, I said “Maybe, just maybe…” Let’s hope that my “theory” has some legitimacy…cuz if it does not, this is a SHAME!!!

    • May 5, 2011 at 5:58 pm

      Ummm… I doubt it. Nice try though lol

  14. Amy
    May 10, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    = why you are not a first grade teacheeeer….

  15. IfYouEverComeBack
    February 10, 2012 at 1:46 am

    Man don’t do it. dude, NoWayGirl.com is a hotmess of awesomeness!

  16. Well Then...
    May 23, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    Handing the wheel to Jesus

    • May 23, 2013 at 1:26 pm

      I’m pretty sure Jesus gon give the wheel right back to ya.