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Twitterholics Unite!

There are a certain group of people in life, who can outwit, outroast and outtalk you in less than a paragraph. These great people are known as “Twitterers.” However, there are those who can’t imagine waking up and not saying “Good Morning” to 1,000 of their closest friends they’ve never met. THESE are the Twitterholics.


You know you’re a Twitter addict if:

  • You start using hashtags in real life convos and #thatisnotcool.
  • You meet people in real life and call them by their Twitter name.
  • You wished your stream of consciousness could Tweet itself.
  • Your thumbs hurt from Tweeting on your Blackberry.
  • You have a Twenemy (Twitter Enemy), a Twitter BFF and a Twitter Boo.
  • You haven’t checked your Facebook account in 4 days. And you don’t miss it.
  • You get an attitude with someone who tries to contact you on Facebook. “Fool, Tweet me! UGH!”
  • First question you ask someone you meet is “Are you on Twitter?” If they say “No,” you say a disappointed “Oh. Well, I guess I’ll take your number. *rolls eyes*”
  • You and the fail whale are BFFs. You even have a nickname for it. You’ve also written it many letters. “Dear Fail Whale, if I see you ONE Mo’ GAIN, you gon need Moby Dick AND Jonah to save you! Get urself in order! Kthxbai – Luv”
  • You freak out when Twitter goes down, wondering what to do with your life. Then you go on Facebook to *WALL SLIDE.*
  • You want a shirt that says “I’m a Big Deal on Twitter. Tweeple know me.” No really, I want one.
  • You find yourself sending 140 character texts.
  • You’ve neglected your blog because all you do is Tweet (People don’t blog no mo’, all they do is Tweet).
  • You use Twitter to make plans with friends to meet up.
  • You wished Twitter had a wall-to-wall feature. Tweet to tweet? (You know I’m nosy)

So if you’re nodding to most of these, you are for sure a Twitterholic. Did I miss any surefire signs of Twitterholics everywhere?

Oh and Twitterholics Anonymous meetings are every weeknight on Twitter. Tweet ya there!

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  1. Robin Monique
    October 26, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    *Stands up and clears throat* My name is Robin and I'm a Twitterholic.
    Crowd: "Hi Robin"
    *Sigh* I am guilty of every last one of these offenses. I'm just NOW starting to get into personal blogging after I realized how annoying it is when people rant on Twitter. Lol. I am getting dangerously close to my 30,000th Tweet. I may need an intervention.

  2. true2me
    October 26, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    when you get bored you create a new hashtag

    You check your twitter for up to date news before the newspaper or television

    You develop twitcrushes

    you start all your words with tw

    LMAO..this is so funny..all of those up top apply to me..I HATE EVERYTHING

  3. @Miss_Mielle
    October 26, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    LMAO. Luvvie iLove you. BTW…<—-that is how I know I'm a twitter & LUVVIE addict simultaneously. Every time I need to type "i" and a verb, I almost automatically type it like iCan't. I even see it in my head when I say it…it's kinda sad. It irritates the life out of me that everyone doesn't tweet…I'm considering buying my mom a computer AND paying for her internet purely so she can live tweet during #RHOA. LMAO, this is so sad…my grammar has officially been completely inundated.

    Oh, one more thing, You also know you're a twitter addict if you're on facebook or IM talking about someone else and you automatically put @ before their name. I do this way more than I'd like to admit and always have to catch myself and erase it before I send. So sad.

  4. true2me
    October 26, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    oh and when twitter is down you publicly display your BBM # so ppl can still contact you..FML

  5. Stephanie Danforth
    October 26, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Great post!

  6. Tea
    October 26, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Hi My name is T and I'm a Twitterholic. *Tweeps in Unison* HI T!

  7. Miss Dimples
    October 26, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    * if you dream in Tweets/have a dream involving Tweeple/etc.
    *if you get mad when people say 'I Twittered' instead of 'I Tweeted.' Don't disrespect Twitter!!!
    *If u kno how 2 shrtn tweets 2 make thm fit the 140 chrctr lmt.

    "My name is @nikkihadder and I'm a Twitterholic."

  8. NissMarie08
    October 26, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    You know you're a twitterholic when one of your goals in life is to get a celebrity to reply to you. (If @SongzYuuup ever responds to me I will just DIE. BTW follow me @NissMarie08 #shamelessplug)

  9. true2me
    October 26, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    when you think of new #hashtags instead new blog topics..or you blog topic on twitter instead (like I did today..fml)

  10. true2me
    October 26, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    omg that is a good one. When people tell you the proper way to "twit" ..I HATE IT

  11. LoudPen
    October 26, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    *Stands up & begins crying. I am a Twitterholic.*

    I was just mumbling to myself the other day about one of my followers who had said something that upset me. I also have twitter crushes & a twitter boo. We even call each other pet names. I need help. And I seriously get offended when ppl. disrespect the mighty presence that is Twitter.

    And my followers encourage my twitter rants…which happen at least twice a day. The issues vary but the rants are always entertaining. Hey feel free to judge, but, Twitter is cheaper than therapy.

  12. reggi3
    October 26, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    I am now a "twitterhead" as I call them We need Twitter like crackheads need to find a dick to suck for some crack.

    ” target=”_blank”>

  13. @NaturallyAlise
    October 27, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    Twitter rocks my proverbial argyle socks! Is E-Posse like a virtual crack house with all our web addictions? o.0

  14. K to the...
    October 28, 2009 at 1:55 am

    •You wished Twitter had a wall-to-wall feature. Tweet to tweet? (You know I'm nosy)

    Hell yeah!

    But wait, then, it'll be too much like fb…then you'll be able to add applications…then…

    Naw, eff that, son!

  15. N.I.A. naturally
    October 28, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    Based on this list, I am a twitter addict. I hate going on Facebook when twitter is down. The only time I think about FB is when I need to check on my mafia in Mafia Wars. Other wise, facebook has become useless to me. And I hate that my loser friends(j/k) from FB won't get on twitter. Booo!!!

    Great post, Luvvie.

  16. Marikai
    October 28, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    Luuvie this is a great post! I literally had to take a Xanax when my computer was acting up and I couldn't use TweetDeck. Also it feels so weird to call people your "friends" even though you have never met them in life and don't even know what they sound like.

    The only thing I would add is that you are a Twitterholic if you can't watch BET fuckery or any other cooning without live Tweeting.