My Life

Cabbies Hate Me

I sweahfo the lion, the witch and that fantastic wardrobe that cabbies hate me. I just cannot win with them. I can’t even use the age old excuse and cry racism because most of the ones that treat me bad are colored. Shoot.

Remember the rest of my Cabby Chronicles to catch up on my long-standing war with cab drivers.

I am convinced that cabbies hate me. They need to admit it. It’s ok. I’m a big girl *& I can take it. They just treat me something awful. I’ont know what I did to deserve it either. Did I scratch up a cab in my past lifetime or something?

Wells, the other day it was raining cats, dogs, lions, tigers and bears (oh my!) and b*tches in Chicago. One of them days that looked like gloom and the skies were the color of dirty dishwashing liquid (or Flav’s mouth wash). Twasn’t the business.

The rain was so bad that one of my coworkers called the office to let us all know. So, I decided to just take a cab home. I didn’t feel like being bothered with walking around in the rain. Wet shoes is not what’s lukewarm in the boulevard.

I decided to call a cab company and order one so they can pick me up at the door of my gig. GREAT plan! (or so I thought). I called the cab company and they said they’d call me when my cab arrives. *cue jeopardy music* Hmm… 20 minutes go by and still no cab. I call the company: “Oh, we’re very busy. We will call you when one is on the way”.

Me: “One isn’t even on the way? Do you know how long it will take?”
Cab Co.: “No. Sorry.”
Me: *Click*

Really Cab Company??? Vague answers is what we’re gonna be on? Well I NEVER!!! (and I clearly never will). Y’all are some useless entities! So I walk my unpleased self to the street and its pouring. My leather loafers aren’t pleased. Plus, since I didn’t bring an umbrella that day, I had to use the one I found at work, which was one of those huge ones. My tiny biceps couldn’t deal with it too well. And I was leaning under the weight (clearly the gym needs to see me).

As I was walking, I saw an empty cab and I did an internal fist pump. I walked up to it and the cabbie goes “Oh, I’m done for the night.” *rolls up window*

Me: *thinking* No the h*ll you didn’t! In these tough economic times, you oughta be glad I’m tryna use you. Shoot, besides, he was African so I KNEW he was going to the northside. We coulda just ridden together and I’da flashed him a $10 or something. DAYUM! AND it was 5:30pm! What in the heck??

THIS is the point I knew that finding a cab on THAT day was gonna be harder than Hugh Hefner after popping a Blue Pill. I stand on the corner of a VERY busy street in Chicago during rush hour and waited for a cab. Did I fall and land in New York City??? Chicago cabs are never this hard to find. What the duece?

While waiting, some dude that looks like Ne-Yo’s little brother Ne-Ver stood in front of me and miraculously, a cab drove by and stopped for him. I was HEATED!

It took another 20 minutes before I was able to get a cab. Effing cabbies! And then as soon as I got a cab, I got a phone call from the cab company talmbout “We’re here!” Eff you, your mama AND the horse you rode in on. You belligerent dummies and classless wonders. RUDE AS HELL!!

Am I the only one cabs hate on?

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  1. Reggie
    October 23, 2009 at 5:51 am

    Girl! I had to be at work at 5:30. I called a cab at 5 and then by 5:20, I was heated. I called them and they wasn't even on the damn way! He pull up eating some old leftover church's chicken and puting honey on the okra! I was pissy like Whiney without my weed!

    I was late. He was without tip.

  2. Adwoa
    October 23, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Ne-Ver…oh man I'm dying over here..

    I find it interesting tho how Ne-Ver (lmao) got a cab and you didn't. Usually in NYC it's the other way 'round…
    Maybe you do have bad luck with cabbies =(

  3. Cheekie
    October 23, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    *dying* @ you calling Ne-Yo's little brother, Ne-Ver. AHAHAHAHAHA!

    Mayne, that's terrible. That ish does sound like some NYC taxi troubles. Why did it take thatd dayum long. And eff that cabbie who was done for the night at 5:30. WTF. He better get with the hard times! He act like he had bidness all up and down the Magnificent Mile nonstop. He know he needed to eat tonight! Folks better learn to hustle!!

  4. K to the...
    October 23, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Wow, all that for a cab!?!? Shizah! Well, at least you lived to IG another day! 🙂

  5. bogart4017
    October 23, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Girl you need to leave those things alone. You have ZERO luck with cabs! Come work for the phone company and in a year you'll have brand new Maybach!

  6. Tunde
    October 23, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    "skies were the color of dirty dishwashing liquid (or Flav's mouth wash)."

    it took me a while to get past this part. iDied laughing. lol