I’ve Gone Shopping Crazy

*Stands Up* “Hi, I’m Luvvie and I’m a shopaholic.”
Everyone: “Hi Luvvie!”

Yeah I’ve admitted this problem but I’ve been stuck on Step 1 since forever. I have been acting a good fool for the past month, ever since Black Friday. I’ve bought 3 pairs of boots, countless shirts, many pairs of jeans and four silk dresses since then. I blame the spectacular sales that have been going on. I NEVER buy anything retail price, and I’m a lover of bargains and a coupon connoisseur. I am fluent in CLEARANCE and conversational in SALE. Lately, with the trashcan economy, stores have dipped their prices so low that I’ve had no other choice BUT to buy.

I use to manage my finances (it effing ROCKS) and they send me text messages anytime I go over my budget. Let’s just say that Mint has been CUSSING me out for 4 weeks. Sending me text messages complete with CAPS and exclamation points saying “UNUSUAL SPENDING!” (Translation: “YOU’VE BEEN ACTING A HOT MONKEY FOOL! GO SAT DOWN!) Whenever I see that I have a text from Mint, I leave it unopened. Ol’ Howling Ass Mint.

My poor debit card is about to quit me. I swear I heard it cough and smoke a little the last time I used it. I just KNOW it is about to quit my lifespace and say “You don’t pay me enough for this abuse!” I fully expect it to hide itself in my wallet behind other cards next time I go look for it. Po’ thang.

People, I have a problem, and I need help. Yes, it keeps me young, fly and flashy. Yes, my argyle and houndstooth habit is being supported. Yes, my shoe game is better than yours. Wait what’s bad about this again? Oh yes, the ECHOING bank account (Hellooooo, helloooo, lloooo, loooo, looo). And my closet is busting at its seams. Despite the fact that I give away at least 1 trash bag worth of clothes every 3 months, it is still about to implode.

I blame my shopaholism on the innanets, which give me 24- hour access to my favorite stores. You know, in the good old days (in 2000), you could only shop from 9am – 9pm. But now, I sit down at the computer, and get to adding. KABLAMO, before I know it, I’ve shopped myself into guilt. *shakes fists at the Googles*

The worst part about all of this is that I have still only purchased 3 christmas gifts out of the 15 I am planning on buying. Shame on me! I just… spoil myself. I do need to sat down, and think bout my financial life.

SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!!! *wall slide*

Edit: If Steve Madden or Victoria’s Secret sends me ONE more email about their 30% off coupon code, I’mo be NO good! How am I supposed to say no to that? Huh?? HOW???

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  1. Tha Management
    December 22, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    I had a blog that started the exact same way … I just recently joined Mint too and they cursed me out so bad when I started that I decided that it was time to stop. And stop I did (kinda). My favorite word is free and clearance sends a chill up my spine. If there is ever sale that 50+% then I can’t enter the store because the “act a fool” gene I was born with starts to take over and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

    Aw Lawd Jeezus save me!

  2. The Pretty Brown Girl
    December 22, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    I’m going to go investigate Mint. I’ve been up to the same shenanigans w/the shopping. Crazy, I tell ya! Too much! I want to try on my new boots right now, even though I wrapped them up so I could open a gift on Christmas.

  3. Alise
    December 22, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    I have a Mint, it is called my mama, she is the bomb financial planner, I swear that should have been her trade, she dug my butt out of a sitch-eee-ashun…

    by the way, why must i cry with you and the wall slides! lol

  4. Reggie
    December 22, 2008 at 11:18 pm


  5. K to the...
    December 24, 2008 at 11:00 am

    Not the wall slide! lol

  6. suga
    December 29, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    Since a sista had been chillin on unemployment and a part time job, shopping was a complete no no. I couldn’t even go into Target *small tear*

    But now that I’m ballin’ again, suga trembles when she walks past a shoe store…or even a damn furniture store. Thanks for introducing me to because I definitely need something to regulate my spending, and with the goal of buying a new car and paying off the rest of my student loans (almost done), I need somebody to scream, “Batch, leave those jeans on the rack!!”

    You always share great links. If it weren’t for you, I probably still wouldn’t know about Google Reader. Keep it up. I’ll be mastering the innanet soon enough.

  7. Luvvie (aka Queen IG)
    December 29, 2008 at 10:16 pm

    Management – I just acted a plum fool in Akira b/c the whole store was on clearance. I am really not looking forward to Mint’s email for this week.

    PBG – Mint is THAT BIZNESS for real! They even track ur spending and make up colorful graphs.

    Alise – Lol naw I’m straight. I dont need my Mama all in my finances.

    K – Yes, the wall slide. It is just that serious.

    Suga – Glad I could be of help! And gurllll me and stores… we go together like Forrest and Jenny. But my bank account gives me the side eye.

  8. October 29, 2013 at 2:31 am

    […] you remember a while back how I’m shopping crazy, and its getting worse by the minute. Yeah I was serious, and it was a cry for help. This is how […]