About the Heartbreak of America’s Choice
I forced myself to go to sleep around 1am. I wanted to keep hope, even for 5 more hours. I can usually find bright spots in situations. There are none for me here. I feel doomed. I wanted to wake up this morning celebrating the first woman president. Instead, I …
About the Election from Hell and Why I Voted for Hillary Clinton
I voted 2 weeks ago, when early voting started in Chicago. I was in and out in 30 minutes, and I cast my vote for Hillary Clinton to be President, with Tim Kaine as her Vice-President. One thing down, so many more to go. I am exhausted, because this election …
I Survived the First Presidential Debates (Barely) with Clinton vs. Trump
Last night was the first presidential debate that put Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump behind podiums and let them hash it out on various issues. As the presidential nominees for their respective parties, it was their job to state their platforms and bring their plans to the table. As the Miss Benita …
Malik Obama is An Enemy of Progress
Everything is weird and the world is ridiculous. Malik Obama, President Barack Obama’s estranged half-brother who lives in Kenya is in the news for his endorsement in this election. Speaking from Kogelo, your uncle has let the world know that even though he is a longtime Democrat, he will be …
The Devil is a Walking Cheeto Running for President
The Devil doesn’t wear Prada. He wears a self-branded suit that’s made in China as he rails against immigrants and threatens to build a Wall as if anyone who isn’t American is a White Walker. The Long Night is here. Note: I’m sorry but there are just too many Game …
Day 1 of Republican National Convention Was An Assemblage of Supreme Fuckshit
Y’all, what in the lowest realm of hell is wrong with the leadership of the Republican National Convention? And how did they manage to start it off so wrong that I’m already tired of their shit? You can’t even make any of this shit up. The fuckery that has already …
Dear Joel Osteen, Is Being a Sellout Shepherd Your Ministry?
It’s been a long while since I’ve written a sternly-worded letter. Clearly, I am overdue. I have been spurred to write one because of an interview that popular pastor, Joel Osteen, gave on the radio in October 2015 (5 months ago), where he basically placed a stamp of approval on Donald Trump, …
The GOP Candidates Debate Entrance Fail is a Gift
All we have in this world of sin and frustrating election season is the ability to laugh at the absurdity of it all. None of this shit makes sense, and at this point, I’m almost convinced that we’re all being Punk’d. But knowing we’re not makes me wanna sit on …
The Night of the 2016 Iowa Caucus Was Long and Treacherous
Yesterday was the highly-anticipated Iowa Caucus, where a small state with really white people somehow predict who the final nominees for the parties will be. And it’s the first caucus of the season and people try to win delegates and OMG I JUST FELL ASLEEP FROM TYPING THOSE SENTENCES. Long story short, …
The Land of Abandoned People Needs Citizens. Here are My Nominations
For years, me and my friends have been relegating people who’ve hurt us, made us angry or are just terrible human beings to an imaginary place called the Land of Abandoned People. There, you are subjected to watching the movie Gigli over and over again. When you tire of that, …