The GOP Candidates Debate Entrance Fail is a Gift

All we have in this world of sin and frustrating election season is the ability to laugh at the absurdity of it all. None of this shit makes sense, and at this point, I’m almost convinced that we’re all being Punk’d. But knowing we’re not makes me wanna sit on a stoop and cry like Justin Timberlake did that time when he got tricked into thinking the IRS was foreclosing on his house. Ashton Kutcher had to jump out and tell him to stop crying for his mommy.

Yesterday was the 50-eleventh (I’m pretty sure it’s that high at this point. If not it sure feels like it) Republican debate. It was another one I refused to watch too, because I really do enjoy not having hypertension. The debates, though, started off to an amazing start, and there is proof to why the Republican candidates are unsaveable. Watch this two minutes:

I guffawed. Jesus be a fence, hold my mule and get some sense for these foolios. This is like a skit SNL writers wished they were creative enough to write.

That delegation of dimwitted dolts being up for the chance to run this country should embarrass us all to no end. I mean, the world is watching this. I wouldn’t trust them to run to the store for me. Let alone run the damb country.

Ben was the one who caused the bottleneck, even though Trump failed just as bad. They had to call his name THREE good times before he finally went to the podium. Which, is hilarious because the poor stage manager was telling Ben to go but dude stood there. You know who was quick to hear his name, though? Marco Rubio. The smirk he strutted on that stage with was pure shade.

Rubio Trump Carson

And might I ask why Donald is looking all downtrodden? Suit unbuttoned and he’s walking all slow like he misplaced the special brush he has to use so his wig won’t shed on his suit.

This was like a game of double-dutch, but there’s no rope. You know when you’re waiting for the right time to jump in so the rope won’t slap you in the face? Yeah, that. Ben Carson’s goofass kept expecting to be tapped in at anytime, not knowing they already called his ass but he missed his chance. It was like a Craigslist Missed Connections. The podium kept looking for him and Donald Trump but alas. They were nowhere to be found.

They gon have to start doing rehearsals for this, like they do for weddings, because this was just too much. But shoutout to Jeb! (you know he wants his exclamation point acknowledged) for making it to rehearsals earlier. He was up and ready.

Donald Trump Ben Carson GOPDebate fail

Please look at this GIF over and over again for Jeb’s “I guess you two fools just gon stand here.” He even gave Trump a pat on the shoulder. When you make Jeb look like the sharp one, you’ve failed. Heartily.

Ennehweighs, I dropped the video on my Awesomely Luvvie fan page, and the clowning that happened there had me in tears.

* When I was 4. I was in an Easter pageant. It was a lot like this. But we all wore yellow. – CPD

* Was Ben Carson confused that his name was called? Was this all an elaborate ruse before he drops out of the race? Will Trump stop frowning his face up like an extra wrinkly nut sack? Find out on the next episode of Dragonball Z! – GDJ

* What in da fuq. My friends wedding processional at Little Chapel of the Flowers went smoother and that was after a 3 day bender in Vegas! – SSN

* Ben Carson walk around like he on L-tryptophan. Put down the damn turkey, turkey. – SJ

* Guess they all need to hold on to a rope and follow the leader. – KA

Kids on rope

* I hollered because this is me and my babies everyday! “Ben, sweetie, you’re the leader. I need you to keep walking. Why are you stopping?” – KGC

* What’s funny is the guy told Ben Carson to take his ass on and he still refused to walk on stage. The cackles that escaped my mouth were from a deep and special place. – BO

* That was messier than my grades in high school – MS

* This is like Freeze Tag. ..no one came back to unfreeze him. – OC

* They look like a bunch of kindergarteners at their first school play. – HD

* What were they expecting, Bob Barker to tell them to come on down? – HH

* I’m convinced that Carson isn’t a brain surgeon. In reality, he’s a lobotomy patient who just THINKS he’s a brain surgeon. That makes much more sense to me. – AT

* All Ben needed was a thought bubble. “Hmmm…I wonder when I’m going to get picked for a kickball team? Now? Nope…now? Nope…????????????now?” – SS

* I’m in tears right now. Literal tears. I just… It was like a traffic jam of stupid. – DLS

Stupid People gif

* I am going to say this again: I do not believe Ben Carson is a neurosurgeon. I don’t. – CN

* I’m increasingly convinced that at some point in his distinguished career, in the interest of scientific inquiry, Dr. Ben Carson began performing surgeries on his own prefrontal cortex. – CC

* What the what?!!! Why in the Sam Hell would anyone want to cast a shadow, let alone a vote for someone who can’t come out when their name is called? Really?!! – DC

* I cringe as he is standing there like “Lee Daniels presents The Butler”. Pleeeease walk in already!! – VRP

* Someone tell Candy Carson to come get her husband. He is the adult that still sits at the kid’s table during Thanksgiving. – SB

* That was painful to watch. Hell I started yelling go on go on! But if they couldn’t hear/understand the announcer on a microphone in the same room they sure couldn’t hear little old me. But the announcer tried to be clever and blame it on the applause being too loud, but I blame it on the loud dum bells playing in their heads. – LD

* Question: how many times DOES one need to be announced before it would be considered reeeeeeeeeediculous????? Maybe the Gong Show hook needed to be used to drag them on stage. – MP

Hot mess Strategic gif

Takes one to know one.

* Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the clueless freshmen class debate team. I, too, am hollering. – MS

* Have Ben Carson’s patients been evaluated? I’m concerned. – AAP

* After you…no, no, after YOU…no,no, I INSIST, after you…. – TRS

* Ben Carson looked like my Uncle Clay after two many glasses of White Zin on Thanksgiving! COME SIT DOWN FOR PIE, UNCLE CLAY. – AP

* I jus can’t with them 2 empty podiumslike take y’all dumb asses out there… – SS

* Like you need to maybe run the free world next year, you can’t take the initiative to just walk on out to your podium?! My god y’all have already done 10 of these shit shows already right?? This is too much – AG

* They forgot the Formation! – LS

Whew. I’ve watched this video about 5 times and I cackle every single time.

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  1. Stacy
    February 7, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    I was too busy watching “Formation” for the 135th time to watch the debate. I got choreography and lyrics to master.

  2. MNLioness
    February 7, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Thank you for posting this, and the John Cleese meme – you and Beyonce just made my whole week!

  3. Alicia
    February 7, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    This post and comments were the funniest ever. You did your thing Luvvie.

  4. Kim
    February 7, 2016 at 8:08 pm
  5. Kim
    February 7, 2016 at 8:10 pm

    Sorry, I don’t know how “to internet” when I tried to post the gif…

  6. MEPJ
    February 8, 2016 at 1:15 pm

    Y’all got me doing that laugh/cry/shaking thing that you do when you are at your good job and the LuvNation is acting a fool.

  7. DaMayunnnuh
    February 8, 2016 at 4:22 pm

    I LOVE the way the floor director waved him on TWICE then, when he didn’t move, did a WTF STAND THERE then fool! I’m sure SNL will find some way to mine this.

  8. J
    February 8, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    omg.. omg.. i absolutely cant. why would he stand there?! PEOPLE ARE WALKING PAST YOU FOOL. You was called. what you think this is duck duck goose? you are the goose. run. lawd!

  9. February 8, 2016 at 7:15 pm
  10. eyecande
    February 9, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    I guess the buffoonery of the GOP field is The NeverEnding Story.

    (P.S. This link is still live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFfl74N0DAU)

  11. PashaO
    February 10, 2016 at 9:39 am

    Got this far:
    * I’m convinced that Carson isn’t a brain surgeon. In reality, he’s a lobotomy patient who just THINKS he’s a brain surgeon. That makes much more sense to me. – AT

    Now I have to read the rest at home as I choked reading this and my colleagues started doing the concerned let me come pat your back thing.

    I agree though, it makes more sense to me too.

  12. Flyy
    February 10, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    “Ben Carson looked like my Uncle Clay after two many glasses of White Zin on Thanksgiving! COME SIT DOWN FOR PIE, UNCLE CLAY!”


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