On the First Day of Black History Month, Beyoncé Gave To Us… TWINS
Listen. We needed something good. We were all in dire need of some news that will lift our spirits and make us SANG. Yesterday, the Matron Saint of Being EVERYTHING, Beyoncé, broke the internet. She has been laying low for months and minding her business. But yesterday, she made her …
Kirk Franklin: The Christian Goon We Need
People are gon get their asses popped in the name of Cheeto Satan. After the UNCONSCIONABLE and UNJUSTIFIABLE Muslim Ban that Tangerine Voldemort ordered, folks found themselves feelin froggy. Christians who actually want to be Christ-like renounced it loudly, and that included Kirk Franklin, gospel singer and pocket preacher. He …
Can We Drunk Text Our Bae, Barack, That We Miss Him?
The New Yorker published an imaginary text conversation between Barack Obama and someone who represents all of us still in our feelings about him leaving the White House. Here’s a snippet: Barack: You knew this would be tough at first. Transitions are never simple. Me: I miss you so bad …
So FLOTUS and POTUS Are Just Gonna Steal My Heart on the Cover of ESSENCE. Ok.
Listen here. I’m already in my feelings about a variety of things. And then ESSENCE Magazine came and dropped their latest cover, featuring President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. Now I don’t know how to act because the 21st Century Love Jones couple got me all verklempt from …
The Simones Sprinkled Black Girl Gold Dust at the Olympics
It is a good time to be named “Simone.” Yesterday, Simone Biles and Simone Manuel won gold medals in their respective competitions at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. They both made history while doing it too and I was ready to lose my voice as I hollered last night. First …
Don’t Worry About Malia Obama; Worry About Your Eyebrows
Do we remember the walking messes that were the Bush Twins, Jenna and Barbara? Them two got into so much mayhem that they were basically Mario and Luigi. There’s pics on pics of them falling over themselves, drunk, as their daddy flushed the country’s economy down the toilet. In comparison, …
About Michelle Obama’s DNC Speech and the White House That Was Built by Slaves
Michelle Obama. Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama the GAWDESS. First of Her Name. Sasha and Malia’s mama. Barack’s wife. Queen of my Heart. Slayer of Haters. Shader of Intellectually Inferior Walking Cheetos. She Who Shall Not Be Outdone. She stepped on the stage of the Democratic National Convention on day 1 and …
Uncle Bernie’s Hair was LAID at the DNC
Y’all know good and damb well that Bernie Sanders be leaving the house looking like he just got out from inside a dryer’s spin cycle. Hair be everywhichway and suit all wrinkled. He was on the campaign trail looking like you did after a particularly TURNT recess period. But last …
Dubya’s Sway and Smiles to the Battle Hymn is My Favorite Thing About Today
There are times when I low-key miss the George W. Bush presidential years. Ok I admit, the only thing I miss about him is the ability to lambast him. Dubya was the guy who invited everyone to the kegger in college and was a BEAST at beer pong. He was …
About My Epic Week (I Interviewed Oprah), Dreams Realized and Lessons Re-Learned
“Your gift makes room for you and brings you before great men.” Mannn, look. If that ain’t been my testimony, I don’t know what is, and last week was the epitome of that. I am still processing it all, but I had to write about it because it was surreal and I …