The Simones Sprinkled Black Girl Gold Dust at the Olympics
It is a good time to be named “Simone.” Yesterday, Simone Biles and Simone Manuel won gold medals in their respective competitions at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. They both made history while doing it too and I was ready to lose my voice as I hollered last night. First …
Don’t Worry About Malia Obama; Worry About Your Eyebrows
Do we remember the walking messes that were the Bush Twins, Jenna and Barbara? Them two got into so much mayhem that they were basically Mario and Luigi. There’s pics on pics of them falling over themselves, drunk, as their daddy flushed the country’s economy down the toilet. In comparison, …
About Michelle Obama’s DNC Speech and the White House That Was Built by Slaves
Michelle Obama. Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama the GAWDESS. First of Her Name. Sasha and Malia’s mama. Barack’s wife. Queen of my Heart. Slayer of Haters. Shader of Intellectually Inferior Walking Cheetos. She Who Shall Not Be Outdone. She stepped on the stage of the Democratic National Convention on day 1 and …
Uncle Bernie’s Hair was LAID at the DNC
Y’all know good and damb well that Bernie Sanders be leaving the house looking like he just got out from inside a dryer’s spin cycle. Hair be everywhichway and suit all wrinkled. He was on the campaign trail looking like you did after a particularly TURNT recess period. But last …
Dubya’s Sway and Smiles to the Battle Hymn is My Favorite Thing About Today
There are times when I low-key miss the George W. Bush presidential years. Ok I admit, the only thing I miss about him is the ability to lambast him. Dubya was the guy who invited everyone to the kegger in college and was a BEAST at beer pong. He was …
About My Epic Week (I Interviewed Oprah), Dreams Realized and Lessons Re-Learned
“Your gift makes room for you and brings you before great men.” Mannn, look. If that ain’t been my testimony, I don’t know what is, and last week was the epitome of that. I am still processing it all, but I had to write about it because it was surreal and I …
We Gotta Talk About Uncle Bernie’s Struggle Hair
Listen. Folks keep talking about issues and stances and policy, ignoring the real important thing about this whole election. When are we going to have a real conversation about Bernie Sanders’ struggle hair? When are we going to get down to the nitty gritty and get to the heart of the …
Muhammad Ali. His Fight is Done, The Greatest Has Won
Muhammad Ali. The Greatest is gone. Unlike the other iconic deaths of 2016, Muhammad Ali’s doesn’t break my heart or render me unable to function, because he was older than most of the others, and his life was lived fully. Although he spent the last 32 years of his 74 …
Beyoncé’s LEMONADE is Sweet Tea
This is a far cry from “Crazy in Love” Bonnie and Clyde Beyoncé. Hell, it’s a ways away from the FLAWLESS Beyoncé. She had a growth spurt. You know when your kid goes to summer camp in June and when they return in August, you barely recognize them? Yes. Bey. …
Because Prince Would Want Us To Be Petty Right Now
Prince wasn’t just one of the greatest musicians of our lifetime. He was also a Shade Savant. The Side-Eye Slayer. He was clearly full of jokes and he also didn’t have time for bullshit. This is why so many Prince memes and GIFs exist. He didn’t throw shade. NAH. He …