The 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2014
When I did the first ever “Dumbest Tweets” list in 2010, it was with Miss Zindzi, the Matron Saint of Catching Twitter Foolery. That list started something (DumbestTweets.com) so it’s only right that she come back to help do the 5th list.
1.
Zindzi: Meaty. Oaker. For some reason, this invokes images of Paul Bunyan. Or any buff dude that chops stuff. Either way, NAW.
Luvvie: Speaking of mediocrity…. >____>
2.
Zindzi: I’m assuming that he meant “demeanor” and not an aging Greek goddess. Or maybe I’m wrong. I dunno.
Luvvie: Right. You don’t know his life! O_o
3.
Zindzi: Can’t wait to go Times Square. Hopefully I won’t miss seeing the silhouette of the Golden Gate Bridge! -_-
Luvvie: Lemme find out they towed the Eiffel Tower from Paris to London. LEMME FIND OUT!
4.
Zindzi: You don’t have to tell us twice…
Luvvie: It will be our pleasure.
5.
Zindzi: Good writtens: GoodReads for the grammatically-challenged.
6.
Zindzi: Math is hard.
Luvvie: Plus 1 carry the 8 minus the 2. THAT IS NOT IT.
7.
Zindzi: And 115% embarrassing.
8.
Zindzi: I’m going to accept that you’re probably higher than giraffe eyelashes right now.
9.
Luvvie: I hope antonym rolls aren’t the same. >_______>
10.
Zindzi: Double ganger – When you work part time for the Crips and part time for the Bloods.
11.
Zindzi: This is a just cornucopia of failure.
Luvvie: Dumber than a box of rocks.
12.
Zindzi: I don’t think you’ll EVER find the one, bro.
Luvvie: Enter.Lectual. I love when people want something they can’t even offer.
13.
Zindzi: Might need to set up some Rosetta Stone.
Luvvie: You better say “DATE” because it’s simpler. “Rendezvous” didn’t French like this for you to ruin it.
14.
Zindzi: This is just painful to read.
Luvvie: Down CENDRUM. Jesus be a fence and spell check.
15.
Zindzi: Why don’t you walk away from your keyboard?
Luvvie: WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING IN SCHOOL?!?!?
16.
Zindzi: Massaginist? Is that a masseuse that refuses to serve women? Help me out here.
Luvvie: #Massaginist. #YouOkBro? Your spelling surely ain’t. He meant “misogynist.” We will file this under “bless your heart.”
17.
Zindzi: You tell ‘em girl! *snaps in Z formation*
Luvvie: Versionities, though. Why did all these children get left behind?? WHY?? In case you’re wondering, they meant virginities.
18.
Zindzi: Don’t forget Arbor Day, the day we celebrate cheap wine coolers!
19.
Zindzi: I had to read this multiple times before I realize that they meant ‘demons’. Demons, y’all.
Luvvie: I can’t. I’m unable to can.
20.
Zindzi: “And on the right, a Ghanaian citizen on his way to work”. -_- Surely they could’ve found a picture of a human being.
Luvvie: The only giraffes in Ghana are probably in their zoos. FAIL, Delta!
21.
Zindzi: I don’t know much about algebra, but…
Luvvie: But… no.
22.
Luvvie: *deepest sigh ever*
23.
Luvvie: O_______________________________O <— extreme side-eye
24.
Luvvie: When people who ain’t got no place to give life advice open their mouths, this is the type of asinine, dangerous thing they spew. No country for this dude.
25.
Zindzi: Hall of Cost. *packs up and leaves 2014*
I just cannot. Shoutout to @MissZindzi because without her, this list wouldn’t have happened! And join the Dumbest Tweets Facebook fan page. And of course, follow DumbestTweets.com for updates throughout the year.
And in case you missed past year’s lists, look below.
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2013
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012 (Part 1)
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012 (Part 2)
* 20 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets of 2012
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011 (Part 1)
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011 (Part 2)
* 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010
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42 Comments
I miss the old days when Tyrese had his own category. Good list, though.
Tyrese’s nonsense was the best. He saves it for Facebook a lot now though.
What is going on with the educational system? These babies can come into the world working an iPad and texting with their eyes closed, but can’t spell, know nothing of their history, and then have the nerve to think us “old people” are stupid. #FixItJesus
Yes, to all of this. The hall of cost, barraco barner, Eiffel Tower in London, acknowledge stalkers, not knowing the difference b/t Maya Angelou and Rosa Parks… *le sigh* I so want to laugh, but the stupidity is painful. SO PAINFUL.
LOL Yes!! I been waiting ALL YEAR on this list!! Did not disappoint.
I still cannot understand how people are signed up for websites that require thinking, writing, spelling…when they can do NONE of the above! Quitting.
Some people have to be trying to make this list. I mean they are deliberately distancing themselves from spellcheck when it only wants to help.
Dead… Not deliberately. CTFU! They running from the spell check like it’s Ebola.
But like….people tweet from phones and tablets that spell-check for you…..most of the suggested words are at least in the ballpark. I mean hell, even my iPhone tries to use context clues.
:::logs out of life::: all the children got left behind :-/
I cried tears at ‘good writtens’ and damn near had a stroke trying to decipher the ‘virginities’ one. This is our future, Lord? #done #dead
I can NOT with the mess at #24. That is beyond foolishness.
What’s wrong with #25? Everyone knows that the Hall of Cost leads to the Dungeon of Debt!
Stop the world and let me off…
/Flatline
Bury me near “hall of cost…”
I died a million deaths at Synonym rolls!
You know what, we need to stop teaching to children to sound out their words in order to spell them. It doesn’t work for every word!
People are out here tweeting like they’re hooked on phonics. No ma’am!
That’s actually a good point tbh. I’m such a terrible speller but thankfully I have always been an avid reader and when I’m blanking can at least remember what the word is supposed to look like. So I get the just bad spelling ones. But some of these poor souls have clearly never seen these words in their life.
Oh my goodness 17, 19 and 24 are the worst.
Barraco Barner….HAHAHAHAH.
I’ll be waiting for the day when she asks, “Is Miss Shello Barner really married to Barraco Barner? Shouldn’t she be Missus Shello Barner?”
I cried real tears at the thought of that tweet…lol
** Luvvie: Speaking of Meaty O’Creaty… >___>
“Sound it out.” That takes on a whole new meaning with these tweets.
Hall Of Cost? Bless that guy’s heart, he actually meant well.
I am unable! I laughed so hard. Thank you for this roundup and hilarious commentary, Luvvie and Miss Zindzi. See you next year!
We need a new saying for these minus-minded motherfuckers: “It’s better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth, or type atrociously, and remove all doubt.”
This list was so good, have you considered compiling the top five dumbest tweets of all times? With the top tweet from each year 2010 to 2014?
I cried so hard reading these. …. I need Jesus to come back TODAY. Make it stop
They should all take the advice of #25.Pick up a book:dictionary/thesaurus.
In regards to #22
Pretty sure there is a show called “Whitish”. I believe it is commonly now as “Friends”. You’re welcome @princess4_megan !
Known*******
Lawd, no!! The illiteracy hath rubbed off on me!
I thought Whitish was commonly known as Seinfield!
” … higher than giraffe eyelashes …”
Call the coroner, please.
I shared the foolery with my bff and child…they died with me. Thanks Luvvie, this is your fault
You don’t know how much I needed this laugh this morning. Thank you. Luvvie, you are the best.
#23 tops them all (only one that had me lol at work – literally)… but seriously, these po’ children need life lessons and to go straight back to elementary school. The babies know more than them – where are their parents? I pray none of them are grown adults with a job!!
Lmao “hall of cost” ….my people, my people.
I’m still amazed “synonym” was spelled correctly!
I know, right!?
I did a double take and then my head exploded.
I am NOT able!!
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“higher than giraffe eyelashes “…YOU’RE KILLING ME!
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