BookMy Life

I’m Probably Gonna Be a Deadbeat Friend/Blogger/Etc For the Next 3 Months

Or maybe I’ve already been sucking as a friend for the last 2 years. It’s only going to get worse.

I was inspired to write this because I read a piece written by a busy mom as she warns her friends that her lack of attention at the moment will be temporary, as she raises her small children. I nodded and agreed, except my lack of attention is due to my career and my book launch that’s coming up. I’m not a parent yet, and to call my work my “baby” might make some mad. BUT I’MA DO IT ANYWAY.

Next week, I begin a new chapter in my professional life, with the launch of my debut book, I’M JUDGING YOU: The Do-Better Manual, on September 13. I’ve been blogging for 13 years but this is the first thing people can hold in their hands.

I'm Judging You Facebook Masthead 2 copy

On that day, thousands of people will receive the version they pre-ordered, and I begin my hectic book tour promoting this baby. That evening’s launch event in Brooklyn kicks off my fall of hitting 15 cities in 8 weeks. Plus, I have a lot of press/interviews lined up. Even when I’m not doing an event, I’ll be doing media. Sleep will catch me on flights, and I expect to have under-eye dark circles that look like the black hole of the universe. I’m tired in advance. I’m tired on credit. But I’m also excited because I’M AN AUTHOR NOW! I did this thing I’m really proud of!

On top of that, I will still be doing speaking engagements, and helping to run The Red Pump Project. I will probably still be doing some brand ambassador stuff too. Oh AND Awesomely Techie will be kept afloat too. Long story long, I will be doing the absolute most.

So, this is my full admittance that I am going to suck as a friend until at least end of 2016. I’m probably going to suck as a blogger too. On this site, people are used to seeing new content almost daily, and that is just not going to happen as I am on my tour. I’m usually the Miss Pearl of pop culture, keeping on top of all the shenanigans happening in the world. I will probably be a bit more out of the loop than usual, and I need y’all to understand the struggle.

tired boo gif

I am also expecting my inbox to implode and fold in within itself. I will be too busy making sure I am remembering to eat more than once a day and praying that I can hang tough with my schedule.

To be quite honest, though, I’ve felt like a shitty friend for at least 2 years. Running my own business as a writer, speaker, techie AND a national nonprofit organization for the last 6 years has taken a toll on my ability to be truly present in the lives of those I love. Working 16 hour days to ensure that I can pay my bills has been a bulk of my entrepreneurship life. And on days when I don’t, odds are I’m running to the airport.

There have been times when a good friend has sent me an email and it was buried under less important ones, and I missed it for 4 months. Or I thought I answered when I opened it but odds are I was on the go so I never hit send on my response. Or people will send me texts but I won’t reply for 12 hours (or a day) because I got overwhelmed by seeing the number of unread texts so I avoided my inbox, therefore creating a cycle of overwhelmedness.

Basically, I’ve BEEN the worst. And I feel guilty about it every single time.

Sad Simba gif

And here I am saying I will continue to drop the ball on being a good friend for at least 3 more months. Blame it on my head, and not my heart. I’ll be a little slower responding but I still love you!

Friends, family, and non-haters, I apologize in advance. Please be patient with me as I make my dream come true. I do look forward to slowing down but that won’t be til at least January 2017. Til then, love me as I miss in action. Love me in spite of the fact that I am not gonna be as accessible as I was. And love me because I need you to now more than ever. I will come up for air soon enough.

I know this is a selfish request but please lower your expectations of me for now. Give me til next year to get my shit together. Hopefully by then, I can say “Best-selling author” and all this would have paid off in dividends.

Lower Your Expectations gif

I cannot do everything well at the same time. For now, what I need to do well is this book stuff.

Thanks for understanding.

P.S. My Instagram account will be where folks can keep up with me this fall, TBH. Even my mama might need to check it to know what I’m up to. So follow me @Luvvie. Y’all know how I feel about SnapChat. IDK, yo. I might try Instagram Stories, doe.

Previous post

About Colin Kaepernick's Stance and the Chafed Compatriots

Next post

When Fairy Baemother Blurbs Your Book And You LIVE!


  1. Catalina
    September 4, 2016 at 11:04 am

    After reading an advance of “I’m Judging You” I feel like we are MORALLY obligated to get this book into as many hands as possible!! You do you, Luvvie. This is your time and your loyal friends and fans will continue to love you and rejoice in your shine xo

  2. September 4, 2016 at 11:41 am

    I’ll be sad I won’t get to read your social commentary but please believe your true friends will understand. You’re my bff in my head and I’m super proud of you lol. I’ve pre-ordered your book because Im so enamored with your writing. Best of luck to you!

  3. Pam
    September 4, 2016 at 12:47 pm

    I am excited to get my book and hey sometimes you have to put you first. Your friends and fans will understand! Best of luck this fall+winter : )

  4. September 4, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    Luvvie, we fully support you and your hiatus, but if you find that you need assistance with handling your inbox and other tasks, I would be happy to offer my virtual assistance. I work with and help take tasks off the to-do lists of busy, creative entrepreneurs like yourself. I can be your project manager, if you don’t already have one. If interested, I’d be happy to send you an official email pitch. Have a wonderful day!

    Eboné Smiley
    The Smiely Effect

    • September 4, 2016 at 1:27 pm

      …and of course after careful editing…I STILL misspelled a word…my last name?!?! C’est la vie! Continue to soar Luvvie!

  5. September 4, 2016 at 3:37 pm


  6. September 4, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    Luvvie, wishing you nothing but the best on this part of your journey. You deserve all of it and more. Don’t mind us. We’ll all be here (or there or over yonder there) commenting and laughing and holding down the fort.

    SO happy for your success – just check in every now and again, willya?

  7. tammy
    September 5, 2016 at 9:31 am

    Of course Luvvie, I mean you are a published author now! Soon to be best selling 😉
    Loud cheers with you on this wondrous journey!

    But, uhmm…you do know that when foolishness happens on these interwebs, I will be running over here for cackles (old habits and such).
    Then I’ll be side-eyeing you for not posting, then yank that stank eye right back when I remember this plea.
    Sigh…hard times ahead.

  8. September 5, 2016 at 9:33 am

    Blessings on your newest venture, Luvvie. Let me know how I can help promoting your book and other projects.

  9. paula
    September 5, 2016 at 12:16 pm

    Do what you got to do girl. Just hoping you will post at least something after the Presidential race. 😉 Love you, and go get em”!!!!!!

  10. Berlena
    September 5, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    All I ask is that if Trump win you lambast that azz. Otherwise Imma jump off the curb and break my neck! Just one time, pleeze…..

  11. Stefania
    September 5, 2016 at 8:03 pm

    Girl, DO YOU! I hate to read that it makes you sad, though. You are giving voice to a lot of good people’s opinions. TAKE YO TIME!!!!

  12. September 5, 2016 at 11:54 pm

    Don’t you dare feel guilty! You’re doing amazing work and as someone who has been following your blog for over 4 years and seen your growth and progress, I just want to say thank you for the awesomeness that you bring to the world via your website. Take all the time you need to work on your career. You’re gonna do great things- well, you already are, but you know what I mean. And we’ll be here when you return to the blog to tell us about your adventures! I’m looking forward to reading the long awaited book and I really wish you were coming to Vancouver for the book tour but I’ll have to make do with the Seattle stop.

  13. DocBeezy
    September 6, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Praying for blessings upon blessings as you take this next step. Cannot wait to read your book. You’re like my favorite cousin in my head so just know that we are all cheering for you!

  14. YvMarie
    September 6, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    You are going places! Big places, special places. We will follow vicariously and enjoy every moment w/you.

  15. foxxxtalltrees
    September 9, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    Hey Luvvie Boo,
    Miss you already. Your true fans will be waiting and you’re worth the wait. Quick question though, you are as internet as I get, I know I’m asking ALOT but will your book be available at B&N?
    Best of luck with your much deserved success!

    • September 9, 2016 at 10:28 pm

      Yeah my book is available everywhere books are sold. You can order from B&N online or go in stores starting on Tuesday. Sep 13!

  16. September 18, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    Go Slay!!!! You deserve all the success.

  17. December 8, 2016 at 9:41 am

    Congratulations on your new book. This was so needed as sometimes we always think that people are being selfish with their time even though we all have our hustles for life and its okay to be selfish!