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Writing Checks Your Mouth Can’t Cash: The Vivica Fox and 50 Cent Story

Lawd. Sometimes, you just wanna pull some people to the side with a good Iyanla scolding, talmbout “Beloved. Don’t do this.” Last night was one of those times, because Vivica Fox went on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live with the Andy Cohen and insinuated that her ex, 50 Cent, is gay. Andy asked her to give her thoughts on his comments that Empire’s ratings fells because of all the “gay stuff.” She says “that’s the pot calling the kettle black.”

shade of it all gif

And then she added “Yeah, he just looked like a booty-snatcher on that one to me” about the XXL cover 50 Cent did with Soulja Boy in like 2010.

OH? Oh. Ok den!

It was an attempt to call his manhood, which he holds at the utmost level of importance, to question. Because, of course, Curtis Jackson is the type of man who thinks being called “gay” is the ultimate insult. When you hold your ability to fuck women as the only criteria of masculinity, of course, you’d be butthurt by this.

ANYWAY, I knew this wasn’t gon end well for Miss Fox. The funny thing about when people bash their exes publicly after break up a break up is that I wonder: AREN’T YOU THE FOOL WHO DATED/MARRIED THEM, TEAM BAD DECISIONS? Be careful about dragging exes in the public square because most of the time, we’re judging you for attracting their crazy too. I wasn’t here when the whole David Justice/Eric Benet bitchassness was going down and those two salty summagoats were going at Halle Berry and virtually high fiving each other like the overgrown, petty asses they are. It’s been 20 WHOLE years. Overgrown and petty asses.

And here comes Vivica. You dated 50 Cent. On THAT fact alone, you should keep your humble. That was a bad decision from START. That dude is a notorious knucklehead.

Worst gif

50 Cent is the type of dude who you tell “your shoes are busted” and he’ll respond all out of pocket and call your mama a bitch. This is the same guy who has taken to social media to insult his teenaged son, as if he was just another random person to beef with.

His high road is FOREVER under construction. Don’t poke a sleeping bear like him. I just knew what Fiddy was gon say would be on some WILD disrespectful shit. The man knows nothing about proportional reactions. That dude ain’t found a fight he won’t take up. He’d beef with a 5 year old because he is IMMATURE.

What Vivica shoulda done is get an anonymous tip to TMZ and give THEM whatever tea she got so she keeps her nose clear. But nooooo. Now she dom gave his ass all the opportunity to snatch her edges bald and all I can say is “NOOOOO SHE WASN’T READY.”

Kevin hart Learn today

Here’s the thing. You gotta know what is in your Barney bag before you start digging in it and taking it with you to a fight. Make sure you got all your best weapons, your main gun and some spare bullets. If Vivica was gon come for 50 Cent, she needed to come ready. Have some memes already waiting, have some footage of him doing trifling shit. Don’t just go on some show and flip your weave like you just did something.

That guy is the dude on the playground who will run up behind you and pull your pants down when you aren’t watching. IF and when you make up your mind to get his as back, bring  super soaker and fill it with Mountain Dew instead of water, so when you activate it, he will not only be wet, but he’ll be sticky and if it gets in his eyes, they’ll burn. COME CORRECT.

Vivica did none of that. She just carried her ass on TV and wrote a check her mouth can’t cash. Knowing good and damb well she has given far too many opportunities for clap back. Between her years of wearing colored contacts and her botched plastic surgery. She shoulda kept this shit all the way cute.

Now Fiddy has gotten started on his clapback and I’m holding on to my wig for Auntie Vivica. This might get brutal. Because he already got started on Instagram:

50 Cent Vivica Fox

GAHTDAMB. He picked this picture of her boobs looking like a toothpaste tube someone squeezed with their entire hand in the middle. Then they look at you funny for cussing them out for making the whole thing look terrible. And this is why you don’t like to share your bathroom space with anybody.

And this wig? So much wrong. She looks like a wind-swept bird. Aw man. This is TURRBLE.

Soulja Boy’s raggelly ass got in it too. I need his simple ass to SHARRAP. He don’t even go to this school. Ugh!

I just want to ask that they keep this fight as clean as possible. Don’t come for each other’s kids or mamas. Don’t make any rape threats. Don’t end up in jail behind it. With that being said, may the best asshole win.

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  1. Kay
    November 9, 2015 at 7:21 am

    It was shocking, but she didn’t lie… that XXL cover does look like he’s some kind of booty “bandit,” about to “snatch” something from soulja boy. Vivica walked in her truth fearlessly, maybe it’s time for some more of these undercover rappers to do the same!

  2. JanuaryBabe
    November 9, 2015 at 7:23 am

    But she dated him…..tried her best snag him……he dumped her old azz and she ran even harder behind him……for a very long time!!!! “Now” she wants to call him GAY? Go sit cho azz down heifer! You bitter and trying to remain relevant! You best run gurl……cause Fiddy coming for ya!

    • Brandihorse83
      November 9, 2015 at 9:17 am

      Right remember when sis got on stage for the MTV music awards in them booty shorts and was twerking for him…. I knew then she had lost her mind and then she played that stalker in his video….Have all the seats Viv all of the seats!!

  3. November 9, 2015 at 7:25 am

    “Here’s the thing. You gotta know what is in your Barney bag before you start digging in it and taking it with you to a fight.”

    NOT the Barney bag! I #sniggled hard on the train reading that line alone.

    Dammit, Luvvi!

  4. Veronica
    November 9, 2015 at 7:35 am

    Ok. This made my life!???????????????? He may very well be gay but as you said, this isn’t what she want. She’s going to wish this was pre Soul Food when she still had her bell pepper nose after he’s done. Ugh Viv…I’ll send flowers after the arrangements are made. Gone too soon. Sidenote: Straight men don’t go after your body in disputes. They go after your reputation.????????#takethatFish #catfight

    • Brandiss
      November 9, 2015 at 7:48 am

      Not the bell pepper nose!!

    • Melissa
      November 9, 2015 at 10:00 am

      Ohemgee! “Bell pepper nose”! You did it now! I’m dead!

  5. November 9, 2015 at 7:38 am

    Now you know you wrote that bit about Auntie Viv getting her edges snatched with a light smidgen of shade. Somebody already accomplished that task some time between Soul Food and the present day.

    • TeeNikki
      November 9, 2015 at 9:11 am

      LMBO right, I was like “What edges??”

  6. Lyzette
    November 9, 2015 at 7:42 am

    “His high road is FOREVER under construction.”

    This is where I veered off the road into laughter. Damn you’re so good!

    • November 9, 2015 at 9:10 am

      That line was a win!

    • Mobaygurl
      November 9, 2015 at 9:38 am

      Another great Luvvie-ism.

    • Totes McGotes
      November 9, 2015 at 1:31 pm

      We need a shirt – “High Road: UNDER CONSTRUCTION”

      Luvvie, make it so?

      • dallasdrummerchick
        November 10, 2015 at 1:06 am

        Yaaaaasss!!!! Cuz my high road is a patch of dirt, and that’s as good as it gets.

        And Luvvie, if you don’t cover the hot mess that was Toya and Memphitz: Untying the Knot, I’ll die.

  7. November 9, 2015 at 7:46 am

    She know Fiddy is aka Petty Pendergrass! She betta straighten her wig and hold on tight and hope her career gets delivert after this fiasco.

  8. Taazur
    November 9, 2015 at 7:51 am

    ???????????? But wait he threw her under the shopping cart said she ate his booty like groceries. Well he didn’t say that exactly minus well had though ????????????????????

  9. Marcus Sun
    November 9, 2015 at 8:05 am

    “His high road is FOREVER under construction. ”
    He needs to fire his project manager.
    Then Luvvie wrote:
    ” He picked this picture of her boobs looking like a toothpaste tube someone squeezed with their entire hand in the middle”
    Good nite all.

  10. Lovey
    November 9, 2015 at 8:05 am

    Attempting to play it cool with a chortle. But when reading “His high road is FOREVER under construction.” Cackling is in order.

  11. Charest
    November 9, 2015 at 8:07 am

    I’m trying to give Auntie Viv at least a bread crumb of support, but I cannot. She broke a major rule from the “Grown Ass Woman Code of Shady Ethics: The Book Of Life After Ex’s” .
    Never pay an ex dust in conversation or opinion, unless you are speaking at his funeral (because attendance is low or for some other God-forsaken unforeseen reason).

    He’s going to butterfly her.

  12. Tracy
    November 9, 2015 at 8:19 am

    They are both too damn old for this shit…. Grow up!!

  13. November 9, 2015 at 8:43 am

    “He picked this picture of her boobs looking like a toothpaste tube someone squeezed with their entire hand in the middle.”

    Luvvie!! WHHHYYYYY?!?!?!?

    Spit-take all over the computer! You just won Monday. We can go home now. That’s a wrap.

  14. Corsette
    November 9, 2015 at 8:43 am

    The super soaker comment lets me know we’re fight twins lol

  15. Marvymds
    November 9, 2015 at 8:50 am

    I love that you used that meme frpm Parks & Rec. John Ralfio or whatever his name was is crazy.

    Viv needs to knock it off and quit trying so hard for relevance, revenge or whatever she was trying to accomplish by stirring up this pot. She knows that Curtis is bonkers so why even start a fight you know you will not win. And I wish folks would quit making falling for Andy Cohen’s Okey doke. He is one messy queen.

    • KayMac
      November 9, 2015 at 9:35 am

      Maybe I should watch Kill Bill 1 & 2…kinda feel bad for her.


  16. Monimba99
    November 9, 2015 at 8:55 am

    I’m here for it ALL!!!! I laughed so hard last night and low key think she telling the truth. A hot dog will holler and he is hollering all over Twitter and Instagram. Chile boo. Auntie Viv I’m wit you girl!!!

    • Monimba99
      November 9, 2015 at 8:56 am

      Hit dog damn autocorrect

  17. KayMac
    November 9, 2015 at 9:30 am

    Did I holler at Fiddy’s IG post?? Yea, I did….Are my coworkers looking at me like I’m crazy because I’m laughing so loud??? Yup…

    But Vivica…boo.. honey…SAT YOU GOOF-ASS DOWN!!!!!! Like, right now…

  18. Jasmine
    November 9, 2015 at 9:44 am

    This one made a tear spring forth. Love it. I gotta say, the expression is “when your mouth writes a check your ass can’t cash”. As in – talk shit, better take your lumps.

  19. Ell Eye Zee
    November 9, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Just a slight adjustment to the phrase, as a loyal member of LuvvNation: “Don’t let your mouth write a check your behind can’t cash.” It’s like their PR people have a “stay relevant” plan – date another celebrity; break up with celebrity; start beef with any celebrity. Oh, and I’m stealing the high road line because that have me life plus thirty years.

  20. November 9, 2015 at 9:52 am

    “May the best asshole win”

    and the first thing that came to mind was him saying he enjoyed someone licking his bootyhole.

  21. November 9, 2015 at 9:52 am

    She went too far but she knew damn good and well what she was doing! Some folks will say or do ANYTHING to stay or get back relevant! #blankstare

    Meanwhile… “His high road is FOREVER under construction” LMAO

  22. Devra
    November 9, 2015 at 10:01 am

    Auntie Viv has the menopaws crazies! I’m gonna whip out my Rev Ike mustard seed cloth for the exorcism.

  23. Cat Luster
    November 9, 2015 at 10:46 am

    “He don’t even go to this school”


    I’m LITERALLY dying. Dying, child, I just can’t…..

  24. Bralt
    November 9, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Forget 50 here for one second…what about Miss Halle Berry that you mention? I don’t blame her exes one bit for what they did however it’s childish as anything. Halle has done nothing but slam and/or malign her exes in the public many times over. Sorry but the reality is, there’s many women like Halle that will be so brazen to go into a courtroom and create false, slanderous accusations all in the name of being “right”. So I say to you, I think Halle and the many other dysfunctional men/women need to take a look in the mirror and ask themselves why their relationships continue to fail over and over and over again? At some point she needs to ask herself if SHE’S the problem. Her 20+ year track record tell us that yes, that’s likely the case.

  25. Gina
    November 9, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness this battle of bullshit where one will be publicly humiliated… possibly anilated. Edges and career be gone already… Let us pray…

  26. emv1102
    November 9, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    Vivi-ker is just trying to get some attention. I want to know why was she even on the show int the first place? I’ve never seen the show but most of the time celebs are chosen cuz they have some kind of work coming down the pike? If so, someone please alert me to the travesty of a movie that’s about to come to theaters near me, so I can avoid it. That’s all I need. She and 50 can duke it out all of forever on social media.

    • Nina
      November 9, 2015 at 6:42 pm

      Okay, I thought I was the only one that hate her in movies.

  27. November 9, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    fiction reveals the truth that reality obscures. read and reflect. reflect and change. http://addie-citchens.squarespace.com/new-page/

  28. Ville
    November 9, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    Mrs Viv is not new to this. She has thrown so much shade in the past she probably walks around with palm trees in her l v bag. She knows 50 goes by the pseudonym petty white. Andy Cohen is the petty queen. For real Andy drgging something up that happened 10 yrs ago. Omg, ms. Viv life is that boring.

  29. Hanako
    November 9, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    Am I remembering correctlt that in an interviee (fairly recently) she called him the love of her life? *sideye*

    • Hanako
      November 9, 2015 at 2:17 pm

      Ugh, stupid typos. *correctly* *interview*

    • phillygirl109
      November 9, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      She certainly did just that, which makes her certifiable. The love of your life was a booty bandit? How sweet. NO!!!

  30. […] the Awesomely Luvvie FB page | The post Writing Checks Your Mouth Can’t Cash: The Vivica Fox and 50 Cent Story appeared first on Awesomely Luvvie. Duplicating this content in entirety is expressly […]

  31. Shakira Harris
    November 9, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    I work the front desk at a spa/salon and on Mondays it’s pretty quiet and tranquil with all the soothing music and such. I just destroyed that with the ugliest, loudest cackle after reading this!!! Thank God I don’t have to check anyone in anytime soon ????????????

  32. notconvincedgranny
    November 9, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    She needs to forgive herself for lowering her standards. He needs to grow the hell up and be an adult. These two will be in a rest home shooting spitballs through straws at each other. Not a quarter teaspoon of brain matter between the two of ’em.

  33. me3
    November 9, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    They’re both petty. She already knew what this was gonna bring so I’m kiiiiiinda wondering if she said it on purpose.

    Honestly, even though Vivica should not have started this… she looks a little calmer than he does in the situation. He’s going in but going in is nothing new for 50. I’m not impressed with any of his insults so far, LOL! Vivica doesn’t really need to respond to him, which may make him angry and cause him to go even harder… making a bigger fool of himself.

    Nobody wins these things except those of us who watch with corn.

  34. Shar
    November 9, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    Vivica should know by now Fiddy has no filter, zero dambs to give and as Luvvie Eloquently put it, “his high road is forever under construction”! She walked into the train wreck fully aware so I have no pitty. If 50 will blast his own son she should know she has no wins and what he did recently to Rick Ross for no apparent reason just cuz he is well 50 says it all! http://www.vibe.com/2015/11/50-cent-rick-ross-continue-war-of-words-instagram/

  35. JohnT
    November 10, 2015 at 2:34 am

    This is just too much I can’t even. X_X

  36. November 11, 2015 at 11:35 pm

    Now, Viv was clearly talking shit in the make-up room with her people and then she sat down on stage and the shit just exploded from her mouth. You can see she tried to hold it back, but she had released too much of the phrase to hold it in… She’s damn near 50 trying to play kiddie games when her metamucil is in water waiting for a stir. And he is probably bi-polar, sociopathic or fame damaged; that man is scary the extremes he goes to for his ‘reputation’.

  37. Mona Kane
    November 15, 2015 at 8:58 am

    I can’t get too het up about this. Back when they were supposedly “dating” I always had the impression it was a business arrangement. Her showbiz star was starting to fade as his was going up so they were useful to each other for a while. I would have figured though that there’d be non-disclosure agreements in place so one of them couldn’t later try to start telling “I was his/her beard” tales out of school. Whatever, this little spat serves to give both of them some probably much-needed publicity.